2018 Trade Deadline Preview, Part 1

With the holidays over, the holiday roster freeze over, and the Pittsburgh Penguins in the middle of their “bye week,” I felt like now would be a good time to do a trade deadline preview.

Yes, the trade deadline is at the end of next month, but if we’ve learned anything about the Penguins and general manager Jim Rutherford over the last few years, it’s that Rutherford doesn’t like waiting until the last minute to make any roster changes.  Even this season, we’ve seen trades in October (Andrey Pedan for Derrick Pouliot, and Riley Sheahan for Scott Wilson) and December (Michael Leighton for Josh Archibald and Sean Maguire, and Jamie Oleksiak for the draft pick they got with Leighton).

Unlike in the last few seasons under Rutherford, the Penguins look a little more vulnerable.  Two-time defending Stanley Cup champions, they ended up retreating in terms of depth this past offseason, particularly at forward, at the same time as the rest of their Metropolitan Division rivals are increasing their pressure in hopes of unseating the Penguins from their dominant position.  The prevailing wisdom through the first half has been that other teams have been less willing to trade with Pittsburgh, not wanting to be the team that helps Pittsburgh win another Cup.  Coincidentally, the first half of the 2017-18 season wasn’t ideal for the Penguins, with League-worsts in shooting percentage and save percentage and abysmal performance on even strength.  To their credit, the Penguins had hung around the top three of a very tough Metro Division for a time, before falling down to as low as seventh, and only recently recovering back to fifth, eight points behind the division-leading Washington Capitals.

With this uncharacteristic underperformance has come a raft of trade buzz, and as usual in these circumstances, things can get a little silly.  Pretty much everyone has already been the topic of rumors, which, in a vacuum, may be fair from the standpoint of the team looking for something to return to credibility.  That being said, pretty much everyone has performed below expectations offensively, so it’s more challenging to say who needs to go.  At the same time, when factoring in the reluctance of other teams to play ball with the Penguins (whether perceived or real), making a deal to improve the team’s depth will likely come at the cost of players who are useful or prospects who look good.  Perhaps neither sound palatable to anyone, but if the Penguins want to have a serious shot at winning their third Cup in a row, they might have to part ways with players that either benefit their present or their future.

With that in mind, I made a list of the current and active Penguins, in pairs (for no very good reason), ranked by their value to the franchise in trade.  The idea is that the guys at the top and bottom are nearly impossible to get rid of, whether they are franchise-defining legends (hint) or bottom-dwellers who the Penguins would probably have to pay someone to take off their hands.  In between are the players more likely to be traded, and as you approach the middle of the list you’re more likely to see even value for a trade.

Today, Part 1, will go over the players at the top of the Penguins’ trade value mountain.  Tomorrow, Part 2, will be the players at the bottom.  Thursday will be Part 3 and will go over the players who are most likely to be traded.

#1b and #1a: Evgeni Malkin and Sidney Crosby

The no-brainer of no-brainers, Sid and Geno are locked into Pittsburgh for this and the next four seasons (plus three years for Crosby).  They both have total no-movement clauses, so the Penguins couldn’t move them unless there were some pretty big reasons for either player to want to move on.  Maybe as they move into their mid-to-late-thirties the Penguins will start to wish they could trade them, but it’s seeming more and more that they’re never leaving Pittsburgh.   In ten years or so years, when Sid and Geno have their jersey number retirement ceremonies (not necessarily on the same night), it’ll be Guentzel wearing the captain’s C and Murray starting in goal.  At least, that’s how it should be.

#2a: Matt Murray

The Penguins traded Marc-Andre Fleury to make room for Murray to be the franchise goaltender for the next decade.  After all, Murray backstopped the Penguins to the last two Cups, and is on the path to being a better goaltender than Fleury was in his time in Pittsburgh.  That’s saying a lot, since Fleury holds pretty much every significant franchise goaltending record.  Murray has what it takes to eclipse those numbers.  With a shallower and longer-term goaltending prospect pool behind him, there’s basically no way the Penguins can get rid of him now.

#2b: Jake Guentzel

As for Guentzel, he has had a couple brief stints centering his own line and did fine.  That’s probably the worst thing you can say about how his time in Pittsburgh has started, as he’s now attached to Crosby’s wing and has flourished in that position.  He led all skaters in goals last postseason, including five game-winners.  His shooting percentage has dipped a bit, but there are few Penguins whose hasn’t; his possession numbers have otherwise gone up.  He’s only 23 and he’s got another year on his entry-level contract.  His future is bright, and there’s not a chance he leaves Pittsburgh.

#3a: Olli Määttä

I think Määttä is the most untradable defenseman in the franchise, but his age, his team-friendly cap hit ($4.083M/yr) and certain qualms about his game make him a popular target for trade talks.  One of the big complaints with Määttä, besides his health, has been his diminished offensive output, but not only is he on track to match his great rookie season, but he’s having some of his best possession metrics as in any year.  He’s becoming a very talented two-way left-handed defenseman, and that would catch a pretty big haul if any of those trade rumors would come to fruition. Määttä’s contract starts a modified no-trade clause in 2020, so it’ll become harder for the Penguins to move him, but it would be a big surprise if they tried to move him at all as the young Finn heads into his prime.

#3b and #4a: Phil Kessel and Patric Hornqvist

Kessel has been one of the best trade acquisitions of the Rutherford era, as he shook off a Toronto media fake news report that he wasn’t capable of helping a team to a Cup.  Two Cups later, and Kessel is even the points leader for the Penguins as he’s on track for one of his career-best statistical seasons.  Out of the spotlight in Toronto, Kessel has flourished and is a leader in many ways for the Penguins.  It’s hard to believe that he’s just two months younger than Sidney Crosby, but he just turned thirty in October, and he’s got four years left on his $6.8M/yr (for the Penguins, thanks again Toronto), so the Penguins will likely benefit from a few more years of 25+ goal, 60+ point production out of Phil the Thrill (who, as you might have heard, can fire the pill).  He’s the team’s MVP thus far this season, so he’s not going anywhere for now.

It’s been another year of consistency from Patric Hornqvist, as he’s on track for another 25/25 season.  He’s also 31 and in the last year of his contract.  If the Penguins wanted to move him, he has a modified no-trade clause.  He’s also not that old, and if he re-signed for another relatively team-friendly contract, it’s easy to see Horny staying in Pittsburgh for at least a few more years.  Unlike his younger peers in the depth chart, Hornqvist is reliable.  So would the Penguins consider moving Hornqvist? Perhaps, but it would take some very dire circumstances to go down that road, and his ability to get in front of goal and pick up the trash is unrivaled by most.  But his best days are behind him, and with Rust, Sprong, and Guentzel bumping him down the depth chart (and other prospects coming along the road), it’s possible the Penguins could move on from him if they fail to return to the playoff picture by the trade deadline.

#4b: Justin Schultz

Justin Schultz just started a three year contract this season, so it’s pretty unlikely he’ll be moved at all.  That said, Schultz’s offensive production is way down from last year, and he’s also been on the receiving end of more shots against.  It’s also been a tough year for Schultz on the health front, as he’s missed eighteen games, so perhaps the inconsistency has been a drag for him as well.  His main pairmate has been Ian Cole, but he was paired primarily with Cole last year which didn’t seem to affect his productivity. Perhaps if Schultz can keep himself in the lineup from here on then he can get his season rolling? Nevertheless, Schultz proved last season that he can be the number one defenseman for this team, which might free up the Penguins to make a big move with Letang.

  • UlfSammySon

    Great read, Dopey Daddy! I would have to agree with you on the “untouchables” list so far. Looking forward to the next chapter of your book. Here’s Ulfie’s album of the day – get your chill on.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSGnNMnvM6M

  • jagrmeister

    Good stuff 66DF, looking forward to parts 2 and 3!

  • Andy Pepperqvist

    Well done. I think you’re spot-on.

  • j-b0t

    I think both Guentzel and Maatta are very tradeable. They would probably bring the most value back to the franchise, and are not absolutely key parts to the Penguins’ success. You ring up a team and say “hey, want to give us RNH for Ian Cole and Sheary?”, they laugh at you and hang up the phone. You ring them up and say “Want to give us RNH for Cole and Guentzel?” I’m willing to bet they stay on the line and say “what else?”

    I would think that untouchables on the team would be one or more of these categories: 1. can’t trade due to contract limitations (nmc, high cap number, etc.), 2. can’t trade because they are too important to the team’s identity & success, and 3. can’t trade because it would be impossible to get back similar performance for the contract.

    Maatta doesn’t fall into any of those categories. Guentzel you could make an argument for #3, but with the way he’s cooled off this year, and just from the eye test (I can’t remember the last time I noticed him in a game), I’m not willing to say he’s a sure fire bet to repeat his success from last year.

    And I would make the argument that Letang is definitely in category number 1, and could be argued in category 2, and when he’s on his game, makes a case for category 3.

    • jagrmeister

      Yeah, Jake and Olli are the type of guys that would be involved in a ‘hockey trade’ with talent going both ways. That’s always a gamble, but I doubt anyone is giving GMJR an easy time.

      • j-b0t

        I think people are going to have to come to terms with the fact that if we keep throwing out certain names as trade pieces we would like to see (cole, sheary, hagelin, etc.), it is most assured that other GMs don’t value those players highly either. You’re not going to see worthwhile returns on them.

        • Ungaba

          This I agree with whole-heartedly, unfortunately. And this is one of the reasons why the Pens may have to move someone they don’t want to move (like Maatta, for instance) to get someone they really need. Back to jagrmeister’s ‘hockey trade’ point.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      I agree that Maatta, and Hornqvist are tradeable. Not sure about Jek. I doubt the pens move him, but not for the reasons cited. He is cheap, and he will be cheap for another year. He basically isn’t replaceable for his cost (b0t reason #3 above), and he doesn’t move any salary out, which is something that has to happen if the Pens are going to land a big player. E.g. if its Jek and Cole for RNH, how do the Pens account for the extra 3+ mil in cap space they need?

      I agree Sid, Geno and Murray are safe. I also think Letang is safe.

      I think Maatta is one of the best trade pieces the Pens have. While GMJR has been know to work some magic (Scuderi for Daley) I tend to think the homer in us makes us see trades pretty lopsided. Why would another team want Sheary, or Hags? They wouldn’t. They likely see the same defects that make us want to part with a player in the first place. So a player like Maatta, who can actually improve a team is tradeable. And the fact that cap hit leaves with him is an additional reason why he is a possibility for a trade.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        I do think another team would want Cole though. The problem is that he’s a rental. I have no doubt he gets 3.5+ next year. But as far as trade value goes, teams are not going to part with significant long term assets for a rental alone.

      • jagrmeister

        Agreed. I’d like to see horny resigned, but if it can make the team better you gotta do what you gotta do and we’re theoretically deep at RW. He does bring a skill set we’d be missing though, and he’s one of the best in the league with that, so it’d be missed. He could provide value for the next few years like kunitz did. Last year of a new deal will surely be an overpay, but that’s how things work

        • PensPointsYourMom

          If the pens are winning/in the hunt at the deadline, Horny will be penguin for the rest of this year. If they aren’t, then I think he gets moved. (and I don’t rule out the possibility he re-signs in the offseason, even if the pens move him at the deadline.)

          • jagrmeister

            Wouldn’t mind renting him out and resigning him if the pens miss the playoffs. That’d be great asset management!

  • Loved this write up and glad you’re breaking it up into sections.

    Letang should be number three on this list (or just excluded from it entirely) if not just because gmjr said a hundred times he’s not trading Letang

    I agree with everything else though

    • Ungaba

      Bren is right – Letang isn’t going anywhere, at least during the season.

      Besides, he sucks right now – who the hell would want him?

      (cue: j-b0t’s impassioned Letang defense)

      • I think we could get some really great player (s) in return

        Im honestly ok with trading anyone who isn’t Crosby, Malkin, Kessel, or Murray. In that order.

        Im not letting a two game win streak blind me to the fact that our season has been dogshit, hopefully gmjr isn’t either. I think we still need a big shake up

        • Ungaba

          You’re right – we could definitely get quality assets for Letang. But not what he’d be worth to us, at least during the season. And I agree with those untouchables completely.

          But I disagree that it’s been complete dogshit. They aren’t very lucky:

          https://twitter.com/ChartingHockey/status/950742001112240130

          If you get that shooting percentage (ahem, LETANG) just a few % points closer to normal and suddenly the Pens win 2-3 more of those 1 goal games and now have 4-6 more points putting them in 3rd place in the Metro. That’s not a big change for a big reward.

          Shake up, yes. Big shake up? No.

          • The66thDopefish

            Everyone’s* shooting percentage is below their typical rates. Yeah, putting a few more pucks in the net would help in big ways.

            *not a researched statistic

          • Ungaba

            Not year over year, just this year:

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cc344e569ba1d4118e812bd4fca74fa3507cd3314791729c02e4c2d6be4ce9f0.png

            Looks like many are down, but look at Letang / Maatta. WOOF. 6 / 210? Are you kidding me? Sure, defenseman are often lower because they’re shooting for rebounds, etc., but that’s just awful.

          • j-b0t

            “You’re right – we could definitely get quality assets for Letang. But not what he’d be worth to us”

            So he’s been complete dogshit, and no one would want him even if the Pens could get rid of him, but they could definitely get quality assets for him, but they wouldn’t be good enough for how much Letang’s worth is to the Penguins.

            Is that an accurate summation?

          • Ungaba

            Sorry, I should have said how much the Penguins THINK Letang is worth to them.

            He is a classic over-valued asset, and he definitely was when he signed that ridiculous contract.

            I love watching the guy play when he plays how he SHOULD be playing. But he doesn’t do that nearly enough for it to be worth $7.25M/year.

            And yes, some idiot GM would likely pay up for Letang, but not in-season. That’s just a hunch.

            Finally, the piece de-resistance: we didn’t need him for 41 games plus the playoffs and still managed to wint the Cup again. Shouldn’t that be all the empirical evidence required?

          • j-b0t

            NO. Because the Penguins were completely fucking outplayed in the vast majority of games on that Stanley Cup run and it was obviously due to how much the defense was struggling. The fact they won the Cup is one of the more miraculous things I’ve seen since I’ve been watching, and it’s a testament to how gutsy the overall team was, and how ridiculous MAF and Murray were.

          • Ungaba

            Yet they DID win. So your argument is that Letang would have made it easier for them, fine, but completely unsupportable.

            Look, I generally like Letang. But watching him this year has made me want to pull my hair out. He, more than any other player on the roster, has been directly responsible for more bone-headed and careless plays than I can count. It’s starting to wear on me.

          • j-b0t

            WHAT DO YOU MEAN COMPLETELY UNSUPPORTABLE? Are you saying if Letang wasn’t on the team during that playoff run, it would have been more difficult? That they wouldn’t have won? That they would have been outplayed on the defensive end just as much?

            You’re engaging in a post-hoc fallacy, and it’s ridiculous. Just because a given result happened, does not mean that the circumstances leading into that result are at all correlational, let alone repeatable. That would be like saying “the Penguins won the stanley cup, even though they were outshot for the entire playoffs. So it doesn’t matter if they don’t take shots, they can still win the Cup. We saw it happen.”

          • Ungaba

            So you’re saying that if Letang were on the team you KNOW for a FACT that the team would have had an easier time in the playoffs?

            Call it whatever fancy fuck words you want, but you’re just wrong. Period. You cannot support that statement. Letang COULD have come in and been fantastic or he COULD have come in and shit the fucking bed like he did against the Flyers in 2012. YOU DON’T HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.

          • j-b0t

            I know that if they play out that same playoffs 10 times, and every playoffs I could choose whether or not to have Letang in the lineup, regardless of the prior results I would want Letang in the lineup, rather than out of the lineup. Every. Fucking. Time.

            I doesn’t matter that I don’t have any idea what would have happened, it matters what I think is likely to happen. Do I think the Penguins are more likely to be successful having their #1 defenseman of the past 7 years in the lineup? Yes.

            And get out of here saying I’m “just wrong. Period.” You’re the one who has been saying “the Penguins don’t need Letang because we saw what happened without him.” That is a much stronger statement of fact based on incredibly bad logic, than me saying I believe the Penguins would be more likely to be successful with him in the lineup.

          • Ungaba

            You took a simple statement of fact, that you cannot support your conclusion because there is literally no way that you can support it, and twisted it to mean that I think something entirely illogical like ‘it doesn’t matter if they don’t take shots, they can still win the Cup.’

            Would you prefer Letang to be in the lineup? Of course. So would I. But you quite literally have no way of proving what would happen if he was in the lineup vs. the FACT that I can 100% prove that the Pens win the Cup without him. Why can’t that just be the point? I’m not dealing in hypotheticals, but you are.

            What you think is likely to happen is entirely irrelevant to my point. Fuck, I AGREE with you!

            Jeezus.

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            Hey, did you guys know the bushes and the clouds in the original Super Mario Bros game are the same artwork just colored differently? Cool right?
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6f7bfd23478ac3f09618a49e58dd92033b6feefb11c1665c6a25b4d6e73cb6de.jpg

          • j-b0t

            My “conclusion” is arguing your logic. I’m not saying the Penguins are definitely going to win a Cup with Letang, nor am I saying they are definitely not going to win a Cup without him.

            I’m arguing with your conclusion that because the Penguins won the cup without Letang, that it means they wouldn’t need him to win another one. You are using a past result to implicate a future one. That is faulty logic. My logic is they were LESS likely to win that cup without Letang, and they were incredibly fortunate that as a team they were able to make up for his absence. And I don’t think that result would be at all repeatable even once.

            Could the Penguins win another Cup without Letang? I don’t know. Maybe? But it would be pretty fucking difficult to do, because they were barely able to do it the last time. So being comfortable with having him out of the lineup BECAUSE of an incredibly unlikely result that had more to do with literally everything else the team did aside from Letang’s absence is a really faulty line of reasoning.

          • Midnight Rider

            Especially without #1 Dman Ron Hainsey.

          • Ungaba

            I have exactly one piece of evidence that supports my assertion that the Pens can win a Cup without Letang. Because they did that thing. At no time did I conclude that the Pens will have an easier time winning the Cup again without Letang.

            And exactly zero times in anything I’ve argued have I said that I wish Letang was gone or wanted him to be traded. You are assuming that because I am arguing that he’s been shitty lately (which you happen to agree with).

            The entirety of my point is that the Pens DID win the Cup without him. That’s it, that’s the list. And it’s irrefutable.

          • j-b0t

            I KNOW. And I’m saying that’s a terrible argument for assessing Letang’s worth/importance to the team. Which it is.

          • I have no horse in this race, but that was MAF who shit the bed

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            and THEN LeHair tried to Talbot, and it was sad… sooooooo sad 🙁

          • Ungaba

            Letang, and Malkin, for that matter, definitely aided and abetted. Letang lost his damn mind, repeatedly, whereas if they’d kept an even keel they may have dug themselves out of the MAF-created hole.

            BUT WE DON’T KNOW AND CAN’T PROVE BECAUSE IT DIDN’T HAPPEN!!!!! 😉

          • The only thing I very much disagree with is that it’s purely “unlucky” that the Pens aren’t doing well. I don’t trust those PDO breakdowns and I dont trust advanced stats in general. You can paint any picture you want with them. Remember when Jason Irving actually got some people to agree that Hornqvist was bad last year and needed trading? He manipulated advanced stats to do that. Also that chart has “luck” being the primary reason the Coyotes aren’t succeeding…

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            It’s like me arguing with the Caps fans last playoffs that it didn’t matter that the Caps were out-shooting the Pens, because they were mostly crap shots from the outside or easy saves with no screen, etc. I feel like the shot quality is often overlooked when talking about PDO. No one has come up with a “reliable” way to really take that into account yet, because it’s almost impossible, but you can see it with your eyes, or at least it feels like you can.

          • imo “the eye test” is like the only real thing to go off of almost 90% of the time and there’s no quantifiable way to put data on that

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            But dammit, nerds will try…

          • No data takes into account time on shift, including two-on-one opportunities, weird bounces, refs getting in the way, etc etc etc. Advanced stats just _works_ in baseball, but makes no sense in hockey

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            I want to definitively quantify “swagger”, and ideas? 😀

          • Ungaba

            No wonder you like fighting so much. You’re pretty old for a young guy.

          • I mean, I work in a field that’s pretty data-rich/heavy. Enough to know there’s no real validated algorithms for measuring players performance in the NHL. I look forward to anyone saying otherwise because jb0t and I have a beauty of a post coming down the pike.

          • Ungaba

            yay!

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            Isn’t that a song by “The Offspring”? 😀

      • j-b0t

        Letang has been one of the best defenseman in the league for the last 5+ years. One subpar season (in which he is still in the top 15 in points for defensemen) doesn’t nullify that. Every team in the league would be interested in Letang if they could afford him.

        • Ungaba

          (he sucked last year too)

          • j-b0t

            He was INJURED last year. And probably should have won the Conn Smythe the year before that.

            Revisionist history up in here like a motherfucker.

          • Ungaba

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/af17c67f822ecf118cf28e0e4e601f9182d3febe53a04e064ec24bd0b6427b6f.png

            The most consistent thing about the Letang, aside from the fact that his shooting percentage year over year is WILDLY inconsistent, is that he’s on the ice more and more and more.

            2014 – 2016 were NOT the norm – they were the aberration.

            Letang has skills that only Schultz can approach, and even then Letang is still more physically gifted. Unfortunately, he’s overly prideful, hot-headed and, lately, not very smart.

            Revisionist THAT, b0t!

          • j-b0t

            Why does a defenseman’s shooting percentage matter? And isn’t playing time one of the better metrics to measure how important a D-Man is to a team?

            What I see in that chart is that minus injury, Letang has been pretty damn solid, if not great. Is he worth his contract? Debatable, because it’s a pretty hefty contract. Do I think there is any defenseman of his ability that would be cheaper? No.

          • Ungaba

            We have a defenseman ‘of his ability’ on the damn roster, and he’s much cheaper.

            Shooting % matters because when you miss the net by a mile like he often does it’s a friggin’ break-out pass for the defense. I’m sure you can recall seeing more than a few of those that Letang was responsible for.

            EDIT: idiot comment – if he misses by a mile it’s not a SOG. Whoops!

          • Ungaba

            All I’m saying is that if you’re taking that many shots, you need to put more than 2.5% in the goddamn net.

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            Shot quality is important. Did you know this? 😀

          • Ungaba

            *revs up the quantification engine*

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            “When this corsi hits +88, you’re gonna see some serious shit…”

          • j-b0t

            And literally anyone else on the team when they miss the net. Because you’re already looking for Letang to make mistakes, you’re noticing when it happens. That’s called a confirmation bias.

            I’m not arguing that Letang has not been struggling this year, but you are looking for reasons to confirm that he sucks as much as you are saying that he has sucked.

            Crosby has arguably had an even greater falloff from previous years of production, but I don’t see people giving him nearly the amount of flak that Letang has gotten for this year, and Crosby isn’t coming off from having missed half a season with neck surgery.

          • Ungaba

            I dearly love when you condescend to explain things to me that you are obviously convinced that I don’t understand. I find it so very helpful when we’re trying to have a rational debate. Thanks!

            Not literally anyone else – only those that miss from the points by a mile which is necessarily a limited group of people (mostly defenseman).

            Rewatch last game when Letang does what he can do (expertly snipes from the point, taking something off his shot to make it more accurate and thus scoring a goal) and then watch him pass the puck, tape to tape, to Paternak. After making that pass Letang then goes and ‘hangs out’ in ‘the house’ while the young Pasternak skates around with zero pressure on him, takes his time and picks his spot and makes Jarry look like an average goalie.

            I wasn’t ‘looking’ for that play but I most definitely saw it.

          • j-b0t

            You saw that, yes, but do you remember that Jarry overcommitted on the play leaving him in bad positioning to guard the eventual shot? Do you remember Letang instantly skating to the slot to cover the man going for a rebound (which was the completely correct thing to do in that situation)? Do you remember Duomolin literally FALLING OVER when covering Pasternak? Do you remember the forward who didn’t backcheck to cover the near side circle which would have prevented Pasternak from having a clear shot on the net?

            Or was it all Letang’s fault, as usual?

          • Ungaba

            The entire comedy of errors that you describe was entirely avoidable if Letang had just made the right play to begin with. When he fucked up so royally, Dumo and Jarry and whatever forward were so gobsmacked that they subsequently didn’t do the correct things. The fact that Letang did the right thing when covering for his own mistake merely proves that he has experience at covering for his own mistakes – they don’t catch him off-guard. 🙂

          • j-b0t

            Right, but my point is, everyone made mistakes on that play, but you only remembered Letang’s mistake, because you are holding him to a higher degree of scrutiny (not that that is unfair to do, given his season), and then also chose to ignore that he made good decisions given the circumstances. That’s what I meant when I was talking about seeing plays through the lens of a confirmation bias.

            Again, not that Letang hasn’t earned that extra scrutiny through his play, but his mistakes are being amplified because people are looking for them, and his good decisions are being overlooked because people are primed for the mistakes to happen.

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            Also, many of his “good decisions” are recovery for his own mistakes, which nullifies them in the eyes of many, including myself… wait did I just jump into this… oh shit…

          • j-b0t

            WELCOME TO MR. BONES’ WILD RIDE

          • Ungaba

            Ish.

            He fucked up. He put the team in a bad spot. It was literally his fault. I don’t give one half of one shit that he then covered the right guy. He fucked up and the other team scored. That’s really what matters, isn’t it?

            I see Letang’s mistakes because they are so glaring. Like icing the puck blindly from his own zone. Handing the puck to the nearest wrong-colored jersey. Shit like that. And look, I’d LOVE to be defending this guy right now, but his actions are indefensible. He’s SUPPOSED to be the undisputed #1 D-man out there but he makes me nervous now every damn time he has the puck because he’s fucked up so much.

          • j-b0t

            Is Dumo falling down covering a guy not an equally glaring mistake? I mean, I would almost argue that was worse than the cross ice pass.

          • Ungaba

            You COULD argue that, but you’d be wrong. It’s like saying the 3rd domino ruined everything and ignoring that it was the first damn domino that mattered.

          • j-b0t

            I’m not saying the whole sequence was caused by Dumo, but if Dumo doesn’t fall down, that goal (most likely) doesn’t happen. Games and sequences are not taking place in a vacuum. How many missed passes do NOT lead to a goal because another player was able to make a play and then we forget all about it? That’s the point I’m making. Letang definitely fucked up. And Dumo definitely fucked up. And Jarry definitely fucked up. And whoever number 12 is (simon?) definitely fucked up. Yet Letang gets 100% of the heat, because Letang has been fucking up and people are waiting for it. If Dumo was in the doghouse, his fuckup would have been what people were clamoring over. If Jarry had been shaky the last month, it would have been his fuckup. And so on.

          • Ungaba

            I take issue with that last part. I don’t blame Dumo, Jarry or Simon. I blame Letang. He put his teammates in a bad position by handing the puck to a wide-open man 10 feet inside their zone, when everybody on the Pens was heading the opposite direction because the bona-fide, #1, best on team, generational talent defenseman had clear possession of the puck and SURELY wouldn’t fuck THAT up, right???

            So yeah, Letang’s was 100% the bigger mistake here.

          • j-b0t

            I’m saying if Letang was otherwise playing well, and saying Dumo or Jarry had been struggling, you would not be focusing on Letang’s fuckup in that scenario, and instead would focus on the fuckup by whoever was struggling at a given time.

          • Ungaba
          • Andy Pepperqvist

            Letang can be having a down year and will completely turn it around AND it could be beneficial to trade him now before his contact becomes a huge burden in upcoming years. Both can be true.

      • el Wray

        This is why I think he might be on list 2 or 3, because this is ostensibly ordered by “value”. Right now Tanger is in a rough patch and his value is as low as it’s probably ever been in his career, excepting after injuries and other medical maladies. But yeah, I was still surprised not to see him on this list because even though the thesis is that these are ordered by “value”, this top list was more about who is untouchable, or who is unlikely to be traded not necessarily based on value but also including logistical concerns like contracts and sunk costs.

        • The66thDopefish

          I made this list thinking that the guys at the extremes were not going to fetch fair value and as you head towards the middle those players would return fair value.

          I get the consternation about Guentzel and Maatta, but I think long term both of those players would be worth more than, say, Letang or even Sprong (since Guentzel can play wing or center). Letang’s value is largely behind him, in my opinion.

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            You are apparently smarter than most GMs in the league 😀
            It seems like they love giving out ginormous contracts to aging D-men. Never got it, never will. In most cases anyway.

          • The66thDopefish

            Well, everyone is aging 😀

            GMs hand out contracts on seemingly arbitrary bases it seems. I would be handing out the biggest contracts to guys who will be in their primes in the middle of their contracts.

            Amongst defensemen:
            #2, Burns: $8m/yr, ends in 2025 when he’s 38
            #4, Weber: $7.85m/yr, ends in 2026 when he’s 39
            #6, Suter: $7.53m/yr, ends in 2025 when he’s 38
            #10, Seabrook: $6.875m/yr, ends in 2024 when he’s 37

            At least Letang’s contract ends when he’s 33.

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            Yeah, I totally agree that Letang’s contract is the more reasonable of his peers, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see somebody hand him big numbers after this one is over.

  • Finn Bonzalez
  • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

    I have some thoughts about Letang, but haven’t scrolled dahn yet… is now a good time to share them? 😀

    • Ungaba

      I suppose it depends on if you want to ruin your Tuesday or not…

      • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

        Oh, I’m good then… forget about it 😀
        I have to create a bunch of logo options for a presentation on Friday at 2 and have yet to start…
        So I’m well on my way to ruining my own Tuesday, thank you very much!

  • Ungaba

    @richkilfoyle:disqus I still <3 you, man, and will drink IPAs with you anywhere.

    Ya jerk. 🙂

    • Andy Pepperqvist

      Letang is reaching Trumpian levels of polarization on this blog.

      • Ungaba

        Must be the hair

        • The66thDopefish

          And the implicit support of Russians

          • Andy Pepperqvist

            Alleged.

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            nah, the implicit support is obvious, the explicit support is alleged 😀

      • SouthSideGeno

        Keep him…trade everybody else…for Tampa Bay’s top 2 lines : /

    • j-b0t

      I love you too. I don’t mean to be overly argumentative just for the sake of it. I’m arguing for the sake of us having good reasoning behind holding the opinions that we do, because I think that’s important. And I apologize if I misrepresent your ideas or opinions when exploring that. I’ll be the first to admit I sometimes misread things and go on the unnecessary offensive because of my own biases I’ve developed after the mental and emotional battles I’ve been subjected to.

      • Ungaba

        And I’m generally a dickhead, so I argue shitty too. 🙂

        I didn’t do well in my Logic courses. Because logic is illogical to me.

        But again… a ‘me’ problem…

    • cwfutureboy

      GROSS!

      • Ungaba

        Man – b0t love, or drinking IPAs? You need to be specific or Blawgczar is gonna boot you outta here.

        • THEcwfutureboy

          Doan like the IPeeA. My buddy’s ex-wife says “they smell like flowers and taste like shit”.

  • SouthSideGeno

    Penguin Jesus tweeted that something ‘happened’ regarding Geno…”equipment scattered in front of locker” …”he won’t be talking” ….???

    Family issue???
    Anybody hear anything?

    • Ungaba

      Yeah, I saw that too. Haven’t heard anything further yet.

    • Finn Bonzalez
      • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

        Beat me to it… maybe he just had to shit real bad… hope erreyone in his fam is ok and what not 🙁

      • Andy Pepperqvist

        IBS. Been there.

        • Door_Matt

          Could have been the flu. It’s prime time for flu season.

      • Midnight Rider

        He gave a post-game interview to NBCSN after Sunday’s game.

        • Ungaba

          Oh well shit, that just clears it all up, actually. Funny – the local media guy missed that. lol

          Thanks MR.

        • Andy Pepperqvist

          Yeah, we talked about it as it happened. This is nothing.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        he did the postgame interview with whomever Foreskin or whatever.

  • Finn Bonzalez
  • SouthSideGeno

    Way to cause a RUKUS 66TH.

    Will read this over lunch…you big ole shiz stirrer you : D

    • The66thDopefish

      Arguing who’s more valuable to the team is a good way to spend a few days 😀

      • Ungaba

        It’s not terribly good for my blood pressure, but that’s more of a ‘me’ problem anyways… 🙂

        • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

          Thank goodness! If you started blaming millennials for your blood pressure issues I’m out… hahahaha XD

  • Finn Bonzalez
    • Andy Pepperqvist

      This is huge. Really cost them some games in the first 2 months of the season.

  • Andy Pepperqvist
    • Ungaba

      That’s brilliant!

      • Didn’t Philly do something very similar in 2012 or so?

        • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

          Against the Tampa trap or something?
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VV1PrbkK3E

          • Ungaba

            Yeah, and the idiot refs didn’t know what to do so they blow it dead for ‘not playing hockey’. Hysterical.

          • I mean, they weren’t wrong

          • Ungaba

            Aye, but Philly didn’t violate any rule that I’m aware of…

            Shit, maybe they did. I have no clue.

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            Later in that vid they said their team was scouring the rulebook and there was nothing wrong with it as long as the puck stays in motion.

          • Finn Bonzalez

            72.1 Refusing or Abstaining from Playing the Puck – The purpose of this section is to enforce continuous action and both Referees and Linesmen should interpret and apply the rule to produce this result.

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            I believed that was changed shortly after 2012, it used to have references to playing the puck with a high stick etc., but maybe PeeAir was wrong about a rule for the first and only time XD

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            Also, what is the definition of playing the puck? And who is at fault if the puck is moving, but the team without possession refuses to engage the team with possession? Also, the trap sucks and should be illegal 😀

          • Finn Bonzalez

            That’s why it’s a matter of interpretation.

          • Ungaba

            Go fix the tape on your glasses, nerd

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            Lavatorytoilet was trying to prove a point, that the trap is basically not playing hockey as a defensive strategy, so he was gonna use it as an offensive strategy. I doan like that guy, but I got a big kick out of this when it happened.

    • Finn Bonzalez

      I feel sorry for Sens fans.

    • JakeHK

      I was expecting ottawa to score on themselves

  • You can tell this is a good post depending on the amount of arguments in the comments

    • The66thDopefish

      Whatever happened to quality over quantity?

      No, seriously, I must have missed that lesson

      • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

        “Quantity always wins, ‘MERICA”

        • SouthSideGeno

          XXXLMURICA

        • cwfutureboy

          Make American Quality Great Again. Plz.

      • you must hav missed a lot of lesons u idiot

      • Ungaba

        *takes a look at number of comments I’ve made*

        *takes a look at number of comments Dopeman has made*

        …hey

        • The66thDopefish

          Ungaba = 1.96 upvotes per comment
          Dopefish = 2.02 upvotes per comment

          Quality 😉

          • Ungaba

            Don’t you have a baby to feed or sumpin’???? 😉

          • Ungaba

            FWIW, my ‘fap fap fap fap fap’ comment got 2 likes even…

            In other words, the standards are low round these parts.

          • Ungaba

            Nice move, yinz, not liking this comment and thereby proving 66th’s point.

            Don’t like this one either.

          • Finn Bonzalez

            Doan tell me what to do.

          • Ungaba

            Lurb you Finn!

          • PensPointsYourMom

            frk you! My standards are exacting!

    • SouthSideGeno

      Eff You! Yer wrong! (did I argue good for you?)

      HEY@brendannnn:disqus …didi you see that HBO is airing a “Last 5 Years in the Life of Bowie” special?

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1e0f4c6893423fd5ed7a5c01e6695dfc9f9f3c4cc63c5f66b4bb28882bbc258b.gif

      • Ungaba

        LOVE this. Even if it looks like I’m the only one 100% outta sync. 🙂

        • Ungaba

          No wait… I’m in sync with SSG… And Bren and Jovi are in sync.

          I may need glasses.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Doan stare at it too long…it’ll make you turn hetero

        • Andy Pepperqvist

          Tough spot for a drummer

        • el Wray

          You’re the drummer, everyone else is out of sync.

      • I didn’t, I’ll have to catch it. I’d be more interested to see the first 5 though

        • SouthSideGeno

          That’s out there too…Try the Yew Toobs

  • PensPointsYourMom
    • Ungaba

      fap fap fap fap fap

    • Andy Pepperqvist

      I hate when they change the policy at work without telling anyone.

      • The66thDopefish

        There must have been a memo or something…

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Franson cleared waivers

    • Midnight Rider

      That’s bananas. I was hoping the Pens would sign him last summer.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Wilson broke it down. Basically the pens don’t have room for him. I was hoping they’d claim him, and then use him a trade piece, but what do I know.

  • The66thDopefish

    I just noticed Ian Cole is paid as much as Matt Hunwick. Why is Cole on the shit list? I really don’t get the explanation.

    • j-b0t

      You’re misspelling Matt Herowick.

      • The66thDopefish

        Matt Henpeck

        • Andy Pepperqvist

          Stat Trainwreck

    • Ungaba

      Cause Sully doesn’t like his ‘tude, I’m thinking. Because if it were based on play on the ice, Letang would be the healthy scratch…

      AWWWWWW YEAH I DID IT AGAIN!!!!

  • Ungaba
    • The66thDopefish

      Good thing for GMJR that there isn’t an urgent need for forward depth. “WE” just need the guys who aren’t putting the puck in the net to…do that. Because we know they can.

      Defensively, there is a bit of a logjam which is okay for tactics but I doubt there are five defensemen willing to sit around waiting for ice time that often.

  • SouthSideGeno

    HEY @The66thDopefish:disqus nice post Dad.

    I have to disagree with you exclusion of LeTaint’ed in the ‘TOP of THE POPS’ grouping.

    Even though he’s have a bowel movement of a season (comparatively) I still KNOW that other teams would jump to have him on their roster. If nothing else he can sell tickets. Chicks dig him and he swings a big stick.

    I’ve always said that given the oportunity I would LeBang him myself…but I think he’s our best chance of getting some valuable players in return.

    DOAN EVEN THINK ABOUT TRADING OLI…YINZ MUTHAFAAHAKAS…FIN and me will go all Boondock Saints up in the Taint and we willl hurt some peeps!

  • happyrobot
  • The66thDopefish

    Also, I don’t know if you guys remember this, but The Pensblog’s European Defenseman Theory is still 100% accurate for the Penguins. If they trade Maatta, goodbye Cups for a while.

    • What about the pensblog’s “David Moorehouse is frankstein’s monster” theory or pensblog’s “pascal dupuis sucks, we won’t post about his retirement” theory, or their “we’re not recapping any games until there’s something to actually talk about” theory?

      • Ungaba

        I’ll come to your place of bidness and we can discuss in person!

        *grabs duct tape and hops in Ungmobile*

      • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

        Other blogs are currently doing the due diligence to see if they should, in fact, be turned into blawg-en-tific laws 😀

        • Or their “I could take several months off from blogging and still come back and post something better than 99% of other penguin blogs out there” hot take from two weeks ago

          • Sorry, I hate giving them credit for anything other than “WE”

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            I honestly forget “THEY” exist moast days

          • Ungaba

            Who the fuck are we even talking about?

          • SouthSideGeno

            “THEM”
            #othershaming

          • The66thDopefish

            A broken clock is right twice a day

          • cwfutureboy

            To this day, I LOVE the fact that some new, crap “contributor” to TPB was what made us all jump ship and create this paradise of a place. I love this place and all you frks.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Yup…frk u 2 <3 : D

          • I 100% forgot about “TheMattyB”, the fact that that guy… typed… like this. Drove me nuts, and also putting “The” in front of his named seemed so pompous to me

          • SouthSideGeno

            “THE BLAWGCZAR”…I serve at your pleasure sire.

          • j-b0t

            I thought themattyb was fine. It was the site’s administrators that ground my gears. Matty just didn’t help ease the tensions.

          • The Andy Pepperqvist

            The comment format is butt.

          • SouthSideGeno

            SHEESH MEESH…had my favorite flub OAT….neva 4get…Caps in 7

          • cwfutureboy

            Yeah, people are obviously allowed to have their own opinions/pet peeves on shit like that.

            One of my biggest sports related pet peeves is when people are so grammatically correct that they say “the Utah Jazz IS on a hot streak” simply because the name is singular. UGH. Fingernails on chalkboard.

            All TheMattyB had to do was point out that it was his issue and not try to act like it was objective fact. Shit like that is inexcusably pompous.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Dem Stillerz ams gon beet doze Jagzoffz…how’d I do?

          • j-b0t

            lol, I never found anything mattyb wrote to sound pompous ever. he came across more like an over-eager fanboi than anything else.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Remind me again who the ‘stat guy’ was…I liked him.
            Was it THE mattyB?

          • “THE” j-b0t

            Jesse Marshall?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Ooooooooooh yuh…ty

          • Jesse?

          • The Andy Pepperqvist

            So pompous.

          • SouthSideGeno

            HA! HA! *finger point

          • The66thDopefish

            You gotta identify yourself. I’m not just any Dopefish, I’m THE 66TH Dopefish

          • Yours makes sense. If your username was “theRickyD” I would hate you

          • The66thDopefish

            TheJohnS

            (Thanks for narrowing that down!)

          • this comment thread belongs in TheJohnS

      • j-b0t

        I still remember reading that David Moorehouse post and thinking to myself:

        “What the fuck am I doing here? What the fuck am I doing with my life?”

        • I cant find the post anywhere. Including the Waybackmachine. They totally wiped that ridiculous page except for a youtube video where Morehouse wishes Rossi a happy birthday, which they somehow played up as some big conspiracy

        • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

          I’m still thinking that, but for different reasons now 😀

          • j-b0t

            Oh same. In fact I’ve actually progressed to answering those questions with “I have no reason to be here, I’m doing nothing with my life”

          • SouthSideGeno

            Hockey is healing…PENS Hockey is mama from the GAWDS
            #hawkey4life

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            Coming this fall on FOX, Tyler Perry is “MAMA from the GAWDS!”

          • SouthSideGeno

            FRKEN TYMPO
            : D

          • cwfutureboy

            I’d totally skip out on that.

            TP is a one-trick pony, and the one trick aint funny.

      • SouthSideGeno

        That last one was the straw that broke the Camel’s Condom and thusly gave birth to…
        WWWWWWWW.P.H

        WE LIVE…(so how many subscribers/commentors do we have again??)

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Here is a RUMOR!!! I just read, I hope its untrue:

    To Pens: Seabrook ($6.88), Saad ($6.00), Bouma ($1.00) [$13.88 total]
    To Hawks: Letang ($7.25), Cole ($2.10), Hagelin ($4.00) [$13.35 total]

    • Are you making up this rumor right now

      • PensPointsYourMom

        no. But its not from a reliable source

        • PensPointsYourMom

          Seabrook has been healthy-scratched for tonights game. So I’m guessing he’s on the move.

          • Ungaba

            Yeah, but his contact is worse than LeHair’s.

            No thank you.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            that’s why I hope its untrue. He is signed until the end of time.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Also, I am contractually obligated to mention the fact that Saad is from Pittsburgh.

          • PensPointsYourMom
          • The Ungaba

            Ain’t no way no how this is a thing.

            Calm yer tits.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Saad would be tits though.

          • The Ungaba

            Well sure.

            But they’re looking for financial flexibility, not to be locked into more ultra-long-term big money.

            If Seabrook is the price for Saad, no dice.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            agree

          • The66thDopefish

            I don’t like Letang AND Cole AND Hagelin for those three. Bouma is a bag of pucks. So a second/third-pairing defender with too many years left on too much money and a decent winger (which “we” have enough of) for our #1 defender, a third pairing defender and a snake-bitten winger? No.

          • SouthSideGeno

            sooooo tempting for Saad thou…did you know he’s from PGH?

          • The66thDopefish

            Gotta sign all those Pittsburghers…I wonder if Trocheck, Gibson and Bartkowski are available

          • SouthSideGeno

            That would be soooo kuhl ; )

            …and PeeAir would have a frken braimb hemmorage

    • “THE” j-b0t

      There’s no way that can be true. The hawks just traded away breadman for sadman. Then they trade sadman for Haggleman?

      This rumor is offensive levels of ridiculous. Hate speech levels.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Breadman > Saadman > Haggleman

        • “THE” j-b0t

          I would be curious for it to happen merely to see how Captain Amazingeverything would pout after they apparently demanded that sadman be brought back.

          • Ungaba

            I think he’d lead them right into missing the playoffs.

      • SouthSideGeno

        LeBang could never be a Blawcock…chicks wood’nt have it!

  • “THE” j-b0t

    Hey Guys! …

    What do people think… about the the Minnesota Timberwolves?? Personally, I think they are one or two key pieces from putting together a decent playoff run, but if their guard play improves…

    We’ll have to wait and see…

    • PensPointsYourMom

      GTFO roundball

      • “THE” j-b0t

        • Ungaba

          Your parameters need to be reset. Edit yer bios. Put in more RAM. Upgrade your drivers.

          • The Ungaba

            Beep your fuckin’ boop, b0t

        • SouthSideGeno

          THE WE

          • The Ungaba

            THE WE ARE!!!!

          • “THE” j-b0t

            join us ssg

          • SouthSideGeno

            THESIDEGENO?

          • “THE” j-b0t

            ONE OF US ONE OF US

          • el Wray

            Do Spanish articles count?

          • “THE” j-b0t

            YES

    • Ungaba

      WTF is going on here?

  • Finn Bonzalez
  • The Ungaba
    • SouthSideGeno

      OH 4 FRKS SAKE, you can’t make this shit up…My new favorite thing!

  • SouthSideGeno

    I know it’s too early to be 1 hunny pacent sure…but I’m saying it now anyway….
    TEAM John Shuster will bring home 2018 USA GOLD in Men’s Curling!

    • The Ungaba

      BACK THE TRUCK UP.

      Just because b0t goes off the reservation to other silly sports doesn’t mean we all should, Unky Geno!

      • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

        Curling is the 2nd best sport on ice, fight me!

        • SouthSideGeno

          Ungy doan get how it’s related to da Hawkey, eh

        • The Ungaba

          Oh yes, super exciting to slide rocks and brush things vigorously.

          smh

          • SouthSideGeno

            You’re prawlly a 10 pin Bowling hater too…rn’t cha?

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            It’s the only Olympic sport I can relate to. Imagine trying to do the Super G with a beer in your hand. That’s why I like curling, it’s aspirational.
            Geno and I could start a team and in theory be able to compete in the ‘Lympics, despite our obvious lack of the proper bio-mechanics necessary for other sports. plus it just looks fun to play, like shuffleboard in the bar, or bocce

          • SouthSideGeno

            YOU GET IT!

            I’m still waiting for Olympic Darts…I’ve been in training for 48 years…
            I’M FUKEN READY TO GOLD MEDY

      • SouthSideGeno

        After school…in the parking lot…you & me….gonna “curl”

  • The Ungaba

    Guess his blog isn’t paying the bills any more…

    https://twitter.com/TribTotalMedia/status/950823310136397824

    We should mail him a bunch of tendies as a welcome gift.

  • cwfutureboy

    Cody Franson waived…thoughts?

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Is the soda machine in the Rockford locker room free?

      • cwfutureboy

        This pop machine ate our quarter!

    • Rad88

      Lots of teams are staying silent through waivers this season. Other than Niemi and maybe one or two others a lot of players have gone through. I thought someone would take Corrado, for example

      • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

        Is there some kind of honor code among GMs? Or is it really that now one thinks they could use him? I guess he is kinda slow right, not a good fit for “WE”.

        • Rad88

          Sometimes I wonder this too when a player that is worth acquiring for free goes through. Like a “hey throw us a bone here and we’ll reapy you” email sent

        • PensPointsYourMom

          I understand that the general threat “if you take my guy, I’m taking yours” is out there. I don’t think it would stop someone from taking Franson, maybe Corrado tho.

      • “THE” j-b0t

        I think teams are finally wising up to cap space issues.

        • “THE” j-b0t

          Totally relevant anecdote that no one will probably care about: back when I was losing my life to NHL eastside manager (literally the one time I feel like I had an addiction problem), I felt like the waiver wire was a secret gold mine. I was always picking up players that seemed decent when teams put guys on it.

          Then all of a sudden I had too many players and not enough roster space/ice time to go around, so I started having to shop players because I couldn’t send them through waivers myself, and I ended up pissing off a couple players and ruining my team chemistry because of it.

          That game was awful. I miss it.

  • Rad88

    Scrubbed in for a 30 minute operation, it took 3.5 hours. Finally get out and go to pick up my white coat from the rack and somebody hung their winter jacket over it, I wasn’t mad because we have approximately 8 hooks for 40 doctors white coats, I was questioning why it was a winter jacket though. So I throw it on and I’m in the elevator and think “damn, this dude smokes a ton” only to realize I’m alone on the elevator. That winter coat had so much cigarette residue on it that I smell like I have lung cancer

    • PensPointsYourMom

      So were you able to rip the dik off or not…jesus dude, talk about burying the lead.

      • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

        “We’re sorry ma’am, we were only able to partially rip your husband’s dik. If you don’t want to visit him, we understand, and we’ll try to let him dahn easy…”

        • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

          wife: “Ah shit… I thought I’d finally have a husband with a mega-ripped dik, I guess it’s back to the Hitachi for me…”

          • PensPointsYourMom

            #swole

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            Speaking of, my wife talked me into going to the gym with her tonight… hope I doan have to fight a mom for a stationary bike…

          • PensPointsYourMom

            get on the stairmaster next to it and start farting. Problem solved.

          • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

            There was a lot of broccoli in my lunch salad… 😀

          • PensPointsYourMom

            #broccoloading

      • Rad88

        No clue whose it was. Though I almost ripped a disk off in the surgery (hernia repair)

        • PensPointsYourMom

          that’s what I mean…was the surgery a success?

        • THEcwfutureboy

          Just had my umbilical hernia repaired 2 mos ago. Just now starting to feel normal.

          So is this mesh still gonna be in my bodeh when I’m on a cold slab with a toe tag?

          • The Ungaba

            Samesies! Ish.

  • Operation bring PHF back is about to commence

    • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

      *whispers*
      psssst… what’s PHF?
      not this right…
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potomac_Horse_Fever

      • PureHockeyFan

        • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

          K, as long as you’re not trying to infect horses with stuff, we’re cool

          • Jovi

            Who would we locate said person?
            i’m not using Facebk to log into that other site

          • SouthSideGeno

            THE WE have his email address

    • Jovi

      When did Brendan become “the Brendan”?
      is there more than one now?

      • Only me. I’m thebrendanb

        • Sleve_Scoobert_HawtDoge

          Rezurmstance is Fertile!

          • UlfSammySon

            Did you get my email, Doge? Not pressuring, just making sure I spelled it right when I sent it!

          • SouthSideGeno

            Jagoff has two f’s…just tryin gto help

          • UlfSammySon

            U + ME = US

          • Jovi

            I know my calculus…

          • The66thDopefish

            Good god, I remember that song, and I was working at Best Buy as a 16 year old when it came out. 18 years ago.

        • Jovi
          • this site is now a shrine to the 2015 Summer intern of thepensblog “themattyb”

          • Jovi

            R U drunk?

          • SouthSideGeno

            yes…or worse/better

          • Jovi

            naked in an open shower again?

            Psss, that isn’t soap

          • SouthSideGeno

            …some type of ‘processed’ animal fat
            *wink

          • THEcwfutureboy

            Reluctantly.

          • Rad88

            wow… I missed a lot today it seems

          • SouthSideGeno

            Butt hey…you go to see inside some guy’s gutz…and wear a stinky coat…so there’s that

          • The66thDopefish

            Frankly, it should be, since that is how I got interested in writing for a Penguins blog!

          • Rad88

            haha me too actually, but then I thought I wouldn’t be any good so I didn’t bother emailing them

          • The66thDopefish

            I remember taking Edmonton’s two first round picks: the first one, a gimme putt (McJesus), and for lulz I traded the 16th pick to St. Louis for Jaden Schwartz (and I think St. Louis’ first rounder), and I thought “shit, that would have been a great trade for EDM”. Schwartz would still be a great fit for them.

          • Rad88

            Edmonton wouldn’t do that though, they prefer keeping their first round picks and not developing them instead, duh

      • el Wray

        You need to become “the Jovi” if you want to be cool, everyone’s doing it out of “respect” for “TheMattyB” (R.I.P.)

        Blawgczar signed off on Spanish articles, so technically I was already cool to begin with.

        • You’re un trailblazer.

          • “THE” j-b0t

            Did you know… the Portland Trailblazers could have drafted Michael Jordan, but instead they chose a guy named Sam Bowie…

            What would have happened if they had actually draft Jordan instead…

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Did you know the pens could have drafted Forsberg, but drafted a guy named Derrick Pouliot instead?

          • “THE” j-b0t

            Fake news. Peter Forsberg retired in 2011, Pouliot was drafted in 2012.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Fillllllipppp …ya krazy circuit box

          • SouthSideGeno

            FAAAAAAHK

          • The Andy Pepperqvist

            I could have bought Bitcoin.

          • SouthSideGeno

            The Bowie Knife would never have been invented?
            Bowie would not have recorded Hero’s?
            Cobb and not Bowie would have been the 5th Comish of MLB?
            Jordan Colorado?

        • Jovi

          it is apparent that i missed a lot today. just gonna sit here and nod.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Butt hey…you go to see inside some guy’s gutz…and wear a stinky coat…so there’s that

        • SouthSideGeno

          THE WE all knew ; )

      • THEcwfutureboy

        Doan tell “them”.

    • Rad88

      how are you going to fuck this pig?

    • SouthSideGeno

      WUT? Are you gonna beg him to return? Why?

      • The more the merrier and he was always a pretty good commenter, so why not?

        • Also the comment section is like 75% conservatives anymore so he’ll fit in more

          • Not including “Stop calling me a conservative, I am an objectivist” Ungaba

          • The Ungaba

            LIBERTARIAN, dammit! I ain’t go no problems with people, as long as I can keep my MONIES.

          • SouthSideGeno

            That’s why he left in the first place.

          • You have that 75% backwards

          • SouthSideGeno

            I do? Do I?

          • U do. Do u.

            Look at his Disqus recently and you’ll see he’s pretty conservative

          • SouthSideGeno

            I <3 that you got wut I did there…

            I believe you…I doan remember wut I had for lunch today…hahaha

    • THEcwfutureboy

      Bring back PiH.

      She’s MIA today. I’m fully aware of the pot/kettle scenario, get outta my FACE.

  • THEcwfutureboy

    Miss you, sis!

    • Penguin in Houston

      Miss you, bro!

  • SouthSideGeno

    HEY @Sleve_The_HawtDoge:disqus

    TONIGHT YER DIK WILL BE RIPPED
    …prepare yerself for much lamenting from yer wimmenz as I drive them before me!

  • The66thDopefish
    • SouthSideGeno

      Why does that 64bit karate guy look like he’s wearing high heels?

      • The66thDopefish

        He’s on his toes!

        • SouthSideGeno

          …suuuuuure ‘he’ is

      • Rad88

        the real question is which Penguins can the karate guy be?

        • SouthSideGeno

          I bet Hagelin likes to wear high heels…sometimes

      • The Andy Pepperqvist

        They are Mary Janes, but thank you for noticing.

  • SouthSideGeno

    FIN’s sleeping…we should call his phone a million times in the next 4 hours…ready…GO

    • UlfSammySon

      OK.

      1…800…HOT…FINN… First 5 minutes free – NICE!

      • SouthSideGeno

        “High FIN…are you wearing oiled fish?”

        • Big Poppa Vlad

          I will call him and ask him what he is wearing…. and then tell him I will shit HIS pants..

    • Finn Bonzalez
      • SouthSideGeno

        Waaaaat? I was kidding…I kid the FINN…a-he a-he
        *beads of perspiration form on forehead, tugs on shirt collar

        • Finn Bonzalez

          Is Finn Bonzalez gonna have to rip a dik?

          • SouthSideGeno

            : D

  • Lol Moonie has three empty slots on his team and he’s beating me by like double

    • PensPointsYourMom

      yeah, but I bet no one jerked off to him this week.

      • Big Poppa Vlad

        there is a story here…

        • PensPointsYourMom

          did you miss B’s post from Saturday night, you should go back and read it if you did, it was the featured comment for Saturday’s post.

          • Big Poppa Vlad

            wow… that is a story…. wow…

      • SouthSideGeno

        …and then made him eggrolls

    • Penguin in Houston

      He’s butthurt cuz I beat him, so now you’re paying.

  • Big Poppa Vlad

    There are a lot of words in this post… words……

    • It’s worth it, and fwiw it’s much shorter than his season preview a few months back

      • SouthSideGeno

        …and very concise and pointed…well worth the read!

        He’s almost as good as you boss : D

  • PensPointsYourMom

    The bye week is crushing my soul.

    • UlfSammySon

      I knooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

      And it’s only been 2 days!

      • PensPointsYourMom

        right?!

        • The Big Bambino

          i’ve already re-watch the flyers and bruins games. Gonna have to breakout the playoff stuff. Thank goodness for DVR.

  • SouthSideGeno

    The adage goes…’You have to learn how to lose to know how to win’ …you would think that would mean that Edmonton would never lose another game…for years.

    Letestlube…hahaha

    • The Big Bambino

      Ooooooh, you’re talking bad about el captains’ favorite love

      • SouthSideGeno

        Bambino stuff

        • Finn Bonzalez

          I haven’t even seen this film butt this line was in its trailer which was on tv all the time in 2001. And weirdly I remember it…

          As you were.

          https://youtu.be/h049UhShXTU

          • The Great Bambino

            Guy marching to war with a guitar and no gun will survive because…Movies.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Yet another Niki Cage klassuck

          • UlfSammySon

            because the POWER OF MUSIC!!!

          • Finn Bonzalez

            He’d even written on his mandolin ‘THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS’.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Ummmm….Capt’n Corelli was in the Italian Army (hint: Fascist)

          • Finn Bonzalez

            Replace ‘fascists’ with ‘taters’

          • Finn Bonzalez

            KILLS THRILLS

          • SouthSideGeno

            What happened to the poor Italian soldier? They went from the Roman Legionnaire ruling the known world to Nikki Cage and his shrimpy guitar…sad-olini

          • SouthSideGeno

            Captian Corelli’s tinsey Man-dolini?

          • The Ungaba

            Hold on, this was for realsies? Jeezus.

          • Finn Bonzalez

            The film?

          • The Ungaba

            Yeah. I don’t have the courage to ever look at Nic Cage’s full IMDB – too many terriblenesses.

          • Finn Bonzalez

            True. It’s quite atrocious to look at.

    • Finn Bonzalez

      Lettuce2 even got a two minute penalty for slashing tonight!!!

      • SouthSideGeno

        …and the would be tying goal taken away on an offside challenge…’Lelosetu’

  • The Big Bambino
    • SouthSideGeno

      Sales pitch

  • SouthSideGeno

    WOW the Kittycats hung 7 on the Blews

    • The Great Bambino

      Real! That is surprising. Did the Blues play with a goalie?

      • SouthSideGeno

        Jake ‘is the joke’ Allen

  • SouthSideGeno

    Hey California…here’s mud in yer eye!

    Jeebus they can’t catch a weather break

    • Door_Matt

      It’s okay I enjoy rain. STORM WATCH… MORE AT 11.

      Plus, rain evaporates and the entropy in the system decreases due to the increase in the entropy if the water, thus decreasing temperatures making it colder for a brief period.

      • SouthSideGeno

        Keep safe. Many of my family and friends live out West…I realize yinz need water, but 13 dead already from mud slides is pretty terrible.

  • The66thDopefish
    • SouthSideGeno

      Any good? : D

  • Leonardo Prevatti

    Great Work