Fiddler Grab

Premise: The pens need Vernon Fiddler.

Its no secret that the Pens’ center depth was decimated by free agency this summer, and that’s ok.  Bonino priced himself out of Pittsburgh.  If the pens wanted to retain Sheary, Dumo and Letang insurance, er…Justin Schultz, it meant letting him go.  Cullen decided to head off to greener pastures and end his career at home.  Leaving the penguins, like all of your moms, with two gaping holes down the middle.

For much of the summer we’ve bandied around ideas about a third line center, unsure if Cullen would return.  Discussing third line centers is not the same as looking at the fourth line. So now with training camp a few short weeks away, the pens have very few options for NHL ready 3rd and 4th line centers.

The Need:  with the loss of Bonino and Cullen the pens lost both of their primary penalty killing centers.

They also lost two face off men, especially short-handed.  Of the 449 face-offs taken on the PK last year, Cullen and Bonino accounted for 378 of them – or 84%.  The next highest Penguin on the list was Eric Fehr with 26 SH face-offs.  In all situations Bonino and Cullen were 2nd and 3rd on the team in total face-offs taken, behind only Sid.  Yes, Cullen took 13 more face-offs than Geno last year, though Cullen did play more games.  Cullen led the team in FO% in all situations at 51.2%, making him the 45th best face-off man in the league.

The Dad factor:  Over and above the defensive losses to the team, the loss of Cullen, and Kunitz, is a loss of veteran leaderships.  Sid and Geno are 30, so its not like they pine away for an older more experienced man to guide, love and protect them.(#twointhetwink)  But there is no doubt that Cullen brought a calm leadership to the room.  He was a vet. That’s gone.

Cost:  The pens are tight against the cap, it isn’t going to get any better with Cole, Rust and Hornqvist all on contracts expiring at the end of this year.  The pens have 23+ million tied up in D every year for the next three years. While the pens can make a move or two for a marquee player by shipping assets out, there is simply not enough roster flexibility to replace two centers via trade without losing some pieces that would hurt in the long run.

Left of Center: The pens are also short at LW with Kunitz’ departure.  The current roster LWs are Hagelin, Sheary, Jake and Wilson.  That’s pretty thin, especially when Sheary and Jake flanked Sid with some success.  While some wingers can easily switch sides, that has been a considerable source of fan ire with past players, e.g. Iginla, and most recently Phil!  The next guys down the depth roster for LW are Blueger, Adam Johnson (made-up name…or is it?), and Tom Sestito.  Of those three, only one has played even a single NHL game.  So if the injury bug hits the left side, yikes!

The cupboard:  The pens have some options in the system for a fourth line center -noteably ZAR, but Blueger, DiPauli, Adam Johnson, and Dea are out there too. Those four players have a combined 1 game played, and 2 penalty minutes at the NHL level.  Domink Simon may be the “closest” with 5 NHL GP and 2A, but those stats hardly instill trust or confidence. Its time for all of those players’ development to continue at the NHL level.  But keep in mind that even with how great Jake was, he only played 40 regular season games for the big club last year, playing another 33 in WB/S.

Enter Vernon Fiddler. A 37 year old free agent center.  He had an abysmal season with the Devils last year registering a 2.7 S% and one goal in 39 games before being traded NSH, where he started his career.  (The Devils have an uncanny ability to suppress their own offense). Over his time in the NHL his S% has been 11.9 percent, which is pretty boss – though partially owing to the number of shots he takes.  His offensive stats are not really that interesting to me though.

He’s never posted a sub-50 faceoff percentage in any season he’s played.  Last year his face off percentage was 53.9%.  That ranks 27th best in the league and better than any player on the pens.

He can also slot in LW, kills penalties (104:54 SH TOI last year), and perhaps most notably – given the events of the past 24 hours:

Fiddler is not as statistically impressive as Bonino or Cullen, but he has also not been playing on a championship caliber team (except for 20 games last in NSH – still a debatable fact with NSH eking in as a WC and then riding a hot goalie to the SCF). For instance, at 37 Fiddler has played 51 career playoff games, Sheary has played 45.  While Sheary is probably an extreme example, Fiddler’s tenure with the Preds, Yotes, Stars and Devils is not exactly a résumé of excellence.

Fiddler is not a suitable, full-time, third line center.  But with Cullen bowing out, having a top face off, penalty killing vet, who can also play LW seems like a better option than the prospects the pens have, or any available free agent.

Ohh yeah, and with a cap hit of 1.25 mil last season and a significant under-performance, he probably comes cheap.

  • Nolongermyrealname91
  • SouthSideGeno
  • SouthSideGeno

    PPYM Post Tasties!

  • Rad88

    Signing Fiddler at a 800k contract like they did Comeau a few years back would be boss

    • PensPointsYourMom

      The way I see it, if they are going to pay ZAR 925k to be on the roster, Fiddler should fit in for a negligible difference.

  • Rad88

    Brandon Pirri is another bottom 6 guy that plays all three forward positions. He was 57.6% in FOs last season on 243 attempts and is a career 48.7. His last contract with NYR last season was for 1.1 million. Could be a great depth signing, he doesn’t kill penalties however

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Pirri is ok, but something is fishy with his GP stats – never played a full season. Either he is injury prone, or gets benched a lot.

      • Rad88

        I can see that. Plus the guy has signed only a 1 year, a 2 year and a 1 year deal after his ELC is sort of fishy too, teams aren’t willing to give him any term

        • PensPointsYourMom

          and he’s probably still got Rangers herbes…its contagious ya know.

  • Jovi

    “…with a cap hit of 1.25 mil last season…he probably comes cheap.”

    I like cheap.

  • j-b0t
    • Jovi

      What, the request to get Jagr?

  • Midnight Rider

    Excellent post, PPYM. You should do more, I hear SSG pays bloggers with Ferraris.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Ferraris and hotel rooms be raining down in here… #fringebenefits

  • Midnight Rider

    Is today a holiday? My neighbors have been poppin off fireworks for 30 minutes. Legit fireworks too, not bottle rockets and m80s.

    • The66thDopefish

      Labor Day is next Monday. Getting ahead of things?

    • lauriruu

      Venetian Festival

      • Midnight Rider

        Wrong state, but plausible

        • PensPointsYourMom

          I don’t know what it is, but my dumbass neighbors have been shooting off fireworks every weekend all summer long. The prices must of dropped, or the public has decided they have too many fingers or the trump presidency has washed us all in glowing bombast. I’m sick of it, and the cats hate it. But you know…’Murica!

          • Midnight Rider

            Funny, I was thinking about how many thousands of dollars that display must have cost. My cats hated it too. Mrs. MR was ready to call the cops if it woke the kid up (I am of the school that you never voluntarily call the cops, thankfully it didn’t come to that).

          • Penguin in Houston

            If you did that here tonight, the cops would tell you to fuq off. Lol

          • Midnight Rider

            Here, they do that too by saying “we’ll look into that for you.”

          • Penguin in Houston

            Well, emergency personnel are kinda busy saving lives.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Why would MR call the cops in Houston for some one setting off fireworks in PA?

            Alternatively, who would someone set off fireworks during a hurricane?

          • Penguin in Houston

            1. Cuz yer mum!
            2. Yer mum

        • lauriruu

          Worldwide

  • HawtDoge

    Anyone trying to watch the dumb guy circus (boxing) via streams and found one that works ok? Asking to a friend… 😀

  • Penguin in Houston

    PiH Harvey update: Got soaked, date night was short due to raging downpours. Fuq Harvey and his shizz!

    • Midnight Rider

      Glad you lived to tell the story! Did you evacuate Houston?

      • Penguin in Houston

        Nope, the cane hit more than two hours to the southwest. Now, bad rain bands are hitting in and around the city. Fuqtarded mess!

  • Penguin in Houston
    • PensPointsYourMom

      At least you have power.

  • I just got the post title

  • Jovi

    I’m going Letang, all day. There’s no other option.
    https://penslabyrinth.com/2017/08/22/pittsburgh-penguins-new-alt-captains/

    • PensPointsYourMom

      yuh, Letang, never Hunwick…waddabout Cole or Dumo?

      • I’d sooner Cole than Letang. Need someone reliable and cool-headed, neither of which are Letang

        • PensPointsYourMom

          I guess its moot in any case. If the pens give Letang the “A” they’ll just have to re-assign it when he gets injured.

          • Jovi

            Not home to post my Liam pic for you and Brendan, but know that I want to.

  • SouthSideGeno

    WE all are…too bad…how did you make it through? Is it still friggen raining?

  • lauriruu
  • Penguin in Houston
    • SouthSideGeno

      Pro Tip: Doan drive on that road.
      Murray Chryst

      • Penguin in Houston

        Yuh, I’m starting to get emotional.

        • SouthSideGeno

          Really sorry for all of yinz dahn-air PiH…good luck…stay safe…the Sun will come out again.

          • Penguin in Houston

            It actually came out for five minutes earlier.

  • Penguin in Houston
    • SouthSideGeno

      wow…heartwrenching

      • Penguin in Houston

        Shit! Sky is getting dark again!

    • Holy cow… I wonder how long until everything is back to normal. Hoping for things to settle down.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    man…my #thronesboner is already starting to chub up.

  • SouthSideGeno
  • PensPointsYourMom

    funny, that’s the same reason your mom is taking me to dinner tonight.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    The Devils signed Will Butcher, FWIW.

    • Midnight Rider

      Shero!

      • PensPointsYourMom

        He’s been making moves, the Devils will be much better next year.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          EDIT: He’s also stocking the cupboard with young D for the next GM to trade. #circleoflife

  • SouthSideGeno

    GoT SPOILER
    Dead Dragon Rider brings down The Ice Wall with Blue FIRE…CHECK
    Daneres is ‘PORKED” by Snow…CHECK
    Arya slices neck of Baelish…CHECK
    Cersei remains a C _ NT…CHECK
    PISSED OFF I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER YEAR TO SEE IT ALL END…DOUBLECHECK

  • UlfSammySon

    How’s your liver FINN?

  • lauriruu

    I must admit I feel relatively good. I think my friends took most of the damage. #blessed

    • UlfSammySon

      Atta boy, wanna be our 3C?

      • lauriruu

        I am happy to come for a try-out in November.

  • SouthSideGeno
  • SouthSideGeno

    That’s not what she said…
    #MiddleFin

    • lauriruu

      It’ll be difficult to live with a huge throner for 18 months…

      • SouthSideGeno

        It’s my 26th wedding anniversary today…I may need to borrow that for an hour or two.

        • Ungaba

          Congratulations on surviving this long!!!

          My 20th is in a week.

          • SouthSideGeno

            TY…congrats to you and Mrs. Ung.
            We’re beating the odds…now if I could just transfer that to winning the Powerball.

          • Ungaba

            Fun fact: the lottery contributes more to poverty in this country than anything else. It’s a scourge on society and must be stopped.

            Also, if I see one more commercial with that fucking groundhog I may pop a vessel.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Make you wanna chuck wood does it?

          • Ungaba

            The lottery and toll roads – I get irrationally angry about both.

            Only a government scheme can collect $750 billion, but really only offer $458 billion if you want it right away. And then take half of that back anyway in taxes. Makes me ill.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Toll roads totally piss me auff. How can the PA Turnpike commission collect all that sweet toll muniez and we STILL have to drive on a washboard for 300 miles?

          • Ungaba

            Exactly! I mean, what are our taxes paying for? I thought it was for infrastructure, no?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Moar like ‘infra-pockets’ …bastages!

  • PensPointsYourMom

    ohh HEEELLLL NAW!!!!

  • SouthSideGeno

    Kiitos, pingviini veli.
    Löysin “vartija”, joka tapahtui kerätä Penguins.

    edit: Löysin yhden, joka keräsi pingviinit.

    (fookin Google translate)

    • lauriruu

      She’s a keeper?

      • SouthSideGeno

        Yes…Minun pingviini sielunkumppani!

  • SouthSideGeno

    GoTSPOILER
    Tormund Giantsbane BETTER NOT have died in the fall of the wall, or I will hurt someone!

    • Jovi

      I was wondering about that, but since they didn’t show it, I don’t think it happen.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        smells like a contract dispute to me
        Arya better steal Littlefinger’s face

        • SouthSideGeno

          Why not, right? …I just doan get the body change part of all that…how can a lil girl make herself grow into a man just because she has the face?

          I know, I know…fantasy, butt still : /

      • lauriruu

        Oh, he’ll be back for the Big Woman

        • SouthSideGeno

          #makemonsterbabiez…takeoverworld

    • Andy PepPep

      Yeah, I don’t think they would bring him back in just to kill him off all vaguely like that.

  • SouthSideGeno

    When I first met her I discovered she collected Penguins. (we try to buy one wherever we go, hint a Finnish Penguin would be better than Chocolate)

    Long story short..I never resisted and I’ve been assimilated into her…BORG : )

    • lauriruu

      I will keep an eye out for a finguin ☺️

      –> robs a zoo

  • Aegon Targaryen is a stupid-ass name.

    • Did anyone not watch GoT last night? Who are we spoilering for right now?

      • SouthSideGeno

        If I wasn’t doing this yu’d be calling me a dik for ruinating all the surprise.
        #micro(penis)management.

        • yeah probably

          • lauriruu

            Spoilers for 24 hours is fair.

          • I agree 100%, just seems like literally all of us are talking about it

          • SouthSideGeno

            hahaha

          • PensPointsYourMom
      • Door_Matt

        I don’t watch GoT. All I know is Snow guy is a bastard and Dinklage blew up a port. Oh and dickhead kid got poisoned.

        • SouthSideGeno

          SNOW NOT BASTART…Mr. smarty pants-ola-vitch

          • Door_Matt

            ¯_(ツ)_/¯

          • lauriruu

            Aunt

          • SouthSideGeno

            #keepinITINthefamily

          • lauriruu

            HYPHEN, Maester Geno!

          • SouthSideGeno

            _

            happy now?

          • lauriruu

            It was satisfactory.

          • SouthSideGeno

            My hyphen is bigger than your hyphen : O

    • lauriruu

      #Keepingitinthefamily

    • lauriruu

      *Aegon of House Targaryen, Sixth of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm

  • Andy PepPep
    • done

    • SouthSideGeno

      What will I win?…when I win.
      hahaha

      • Andy PepPep

        Idk, but you gotta sign up, first

        • UlfSammySon

          How does that shiz even work?

  • SouthSideGeno

    WTF kinda drugs is MOUNTAIN on? Dude’s eyes look almost like the White Walkers.

    They should put the Steelers D line on it, whatever it is.

    • lauriruu

      Herbiez from Qyburn?

      • SouthSideGeno

        …who caught it from UNG’s mum, of course ; )

  • SouthSideGeno

    NOAA current updated prediction for some parts of Tejas…50″ inches of rainfall.
    How is that even possible???
    They’re gonna need a bigger boat. Maybe an ARK.
    Poor shlubs…Poor PiH

    • Penguin in Houston

      I’m one of the lucky ones. Going to volunteer, can’t stand being unemployed, so I can do something.

      • SouthSideGeno

        GOOD FOR YOU PiH…WE’RE ALL PROUD OF YOU!
        Send up pics and let us know how many lives you save!

        You’re a good human kiddo!

      • HawtDoge

        Stay safe and let us know if there’s a particular place we can donate or whatnot that will help your people out the best!

      • Ungaba

        You’re the best!

        • Penguin in Houston

          Thank you!

  • SouthSideGeno

    Ahhh…the ball kick/fight scene last night was HYSTERICAL

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Holy gratuitous man-ass shot tho…#MessandeBalance #ButtHarrington #KitButtington

  • Penguin in Houston

    72 tornado warnings in the Houston television viewing area yesterday.

  • PenguinPelts

    “having a top face off, penalty killing vet, who can also play LW seems like a better option than the prospects the pens have…”

    How do you know that?

    • HawtDoge

      Keywords = “seems like” ?

      • PenguinPelts

        Fantastic retort. It “seems like” there are already three young, undersized players on the NHL roster who, by all measurements, shouldn’t be playing in the NHL, but have been three of the top contributors to recent success, bucking the trend that you need to load up on some vets who have very specific skill sets but still make hockey fans from every fan base go “Meh.”

        • PensPointsYourMom

          That’s part of it though too. How many times can we expect to “buck the trend?” Its a trend for a reason.

          • PenguinPelts

            The Penguins definitely have players in the system who could step in and do more than a Vernon Fiddler I feel. Whether it be for an entire season or by committee, they have the players.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Who can step in and do more than Fiddler, and why do you feel that way?

            I would like to see what the young-ins can do. I don’t think Fiddler is god’s gift to centers. But think about players like Moullierat, Farnham, Dea, Porter and Uher. Not every prospect the pens have pulled up has been Jake, Sheary or Rust. There are some failures in there too. Why should the pens put all their chips on the players they have? Why not have a back-up plan?

          • PenguinPelts

            I truly believe Aston-Reece should not be overlooked and can step in to play bottom six Center minutes.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I hope that’s true, but I have no evidence to support or refute that assertion.

          • Ungaba

            I see that you are attempting to discuss this calmly and rationally with PP. Good on you.

            But fuck it, your idea is fine without additional support. Also, as creator of the post, you get the benefit of the doubt because the rest of us did exactly squat.

          • PenguinPelts

            I’m not trying to attack, Fiddler could definitely be an option, all I’m saying is that I don’t think rushing out to grab a vet who has had an otherwise mediocre career minus a good faceoff record and slight versatility should be the go to answer, and hopefully Old Man Rutherford looks at it the same way. I’m vary wary of signig Veterans just because they’re veterans and have the history/stats to accompany their potential signing.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            The post was spurred largely by the McClement PTO. McClement is just a vet (minus the versatility and FO%).I think Fiddler has the history and stats to accompany his signing. My opinion, but I do think he addresses a need. I would love to see the WB/S kids come up and carry water, but if they don’t, its likely to be a problem.

            I actually thought about adding a paragraph that said – sign Fiddler to a PTO too and make him and McClement battle to the death for a roster spot.

            At 1 mil. it just isn’t a risk, if ZAR and McClement rock, the pens can just waive Fiddler, or trade him, or whatever. If those guys fail, or get injured, there’s another option.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Agreed…nice to have a veteran player around (who’s able to jerk it out of the circle) and let the newbies grow up around him. I’m sure Vernon would want to perform for a chance at a ring, eh?

            Why PP so ‘Crabby’ about Fiddler? ; )

          • PenguinPelts

            I just read from the Pens site that McClement logged the most shorthanded minutes of any Hurricane the last three years, and I started thinking that maybe they gave him the PTO because of his hitting ability? But nope, the guy had 49 hits this past season, so he wouldn’t be filling that Kunitzless void.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            The McClement PTO reeks of home cooking from a former GM of the Canes to a player.

          • PenguinPelts

            I think Rutherford was already out as GM before McClement signed there.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            yeah, that’s right, good catch.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            #writeprivledge #altwrite

        • Is everything ok?

    • PensPointsYourMom

      I don’t “know” it, I can’t see the future. But I ran down all of the prospects in the pens system. First of all, none of them are “vets” save, arguably, Sestito. Second, the LW prospects are thin. There are only three, and one is Sestito, I’ve watched enough Sesito to think its unlikely he is going to break out for 20G 50P. Maybe Johnson or Blueger are the next Jake. But what if they’re not? We have exactly no data on those guys at the NHL level. Third, depth is an issue too. If Hags gets hurt or Sheary, who slots in? What happens if another LW gets hurt? Fourth, find a better available face off man to replace Cullen. Present me with an option who has a higher FO%, fits into the cap, and is available without a trade.

      Think of it this way, you’re ordering a restaurant and you have three choices, a hamburger, a bamlurger, and a gramsnurger. The latter only two are described “its a mystery”…tell me you roll the dice on mystery meat when you can have a hamburger? It may not be the best one you’ve ever had, but at least you know what it is. That makes it a better option.

      • PenguinPelts

        I didn’t consider the LW issue, only Center, so good point.

        But you all are going to be eating your words when it is discovered Ryan Reaves is actually deadly as shit in the faceoff circle and will be their secret weapon…

  • Ungaba

    Nice post, PPYM. It will be interesting to see who else they attempt to bring in to plug up our moms holes. I never even considered Fiddler, but that’s because I’m a homer and don’t know players other than Penguins and am trying to actually do some damn work during the off-season.

    Who am I kidding, I’m just lazy.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Its real easy right now, there aren’t that many FA’s centers left (14 who played a game or more last year, and that inlcudes McClement and Fiddler).

      But thanks.

      • SouthSideGeno

        Yer good. You research soooo hard. You should be a regular post-er boi. Once or twice a month you should focus on a particular topic and stat us into a coma.
        I want a commitment outta you kid!

        • PensPointsYourMom

          Imma need a ferrari, a hotel room and infinite tiddays.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Done and done and DDone.
            Whale Cum aboard

            Write him up Bren…I’ll be expecting my commission bone-us in my next pay check!

            (Edit add: Just in case…What can we get for a 1973 VW Beetle, 3 nights at Motel 6 in Oil City and UNG’s mum?)

          • Fun fact: This is the first time anyone outside of Oil City has thought of or said “Oil City” in over three years!

          • SouthSideGeno

            The one and only time I was ever there was in 1972. Me, my dad, my uncle and a few other of their friends all packed up cars, drove there and rented a hotel room to drink, play poker and watch the Steelers vs Dolphins AFC Playoff game cause it was blacked out in the local PGH area. The Steelers lost and I will always HATE Oil City for that reason.

            Who was the other ‘Oily’ person?

      • Is there a certain place you’re going to to see all the FAs left?

        • PensPointsYourMom
          • PensPointsYourMom

            toggle “center” toggle “UFA” arrange by GP

          • PenguinPelts

            If we’re talking about being shallow at LW, interesting that Marcus Foligno is still unsigned in Minnesota.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            he’s an RFA though, but MIN can’t really afford him anymore.

          • PenguinPelts

            Also, though I know his FO numbers aren’t as good, but what’s wrong with Ryan White as a Center option?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            His FO% last year was 42.9 and he was on PK for less than 19:00 minutes.
            Vandevelde is probably a better option 52.4% 2:02 SH TOI

          • PenguinPelts

            Ya, I’m looking at Vandevelde as the cutoff in terms of age. 25-30 age range. But that’s just me.

          • PenguinPelts

            And holy shit, we want to talk speed and versatility, how did the Penguins, and every other NHL team, let Brandon Pirri go to Sweden?!

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Rad was talking about Pirri the other day. He’s never played a full season, so I’m guessing he’s injury prone. Maybe that’s not a major concern, maybe it is. But I agree, he’s worth something in the NHL.

          • PenguinPelts

            He was really something with the Panthers and all of that running and gunning they were doing, and helped them get to the Playoffs that year in my opinion. But then they traded him that year too.

  • SouthSideGeno
  • Can I vote for Joseph Cramarossa ?

    He’s young, he’s cheap, and his name is ridiculous

  • If you can’t view this open it in incognito mode. (fucking paywall.)

    https://www.post-gazette.com/news/transportation/2017/08/28/Pittsburgh-International-Airport-Airmall-access-non-ticketed-passengers-boarding-terminal-Sept-11/stories/201708280087

    I think this is an overall bad idea. I thought TSA is getting less funding? If that’s so, then there would be less TSA employees to push people through a line. Meaning longer lines. Then adding every travelers family to be able to go through the lines with them? No bueno. Huge lines.

    If we abolished the security checkpoints this would be great

    • Ungaba

      You know how many people will do this? 4. 4 people will go ‘shopping’ at the ‘airport’ that don’t either already work there or are flying that day.

      Dumb fahking idea. The AirMall was dead the moment US Air decided to re-locate their hub. This is all just whistling past the graveyard, almost literally.

      • Ungaba

        RE: removing all security checkpoints, I’m all for it. I’m with George Carlin (RIP) on this one – you need a little danger in your life. Take a fucking chance.

      • Disagree 100%

        Parents/kids and relatives coming with the traveler to make them feel more comfortable will be very very popular.

        Especially, ESPECIALLY, spouses.

        • Door_Matt

          Long lines will cause them to prioritize fliers, but still a bad idea. Keep the terminals clear. I don’t need to be standing at the gate because your Aunt Linda and Cousin Donny and his 3 kids want to see you off.

        • Ungaba

          Yeah, I didn’t think about that angle because NOBODY EVER COMES TO MEET ME AT THE AIRPORT BECAUSE MY FAMILY HATES ME.

          Or it may be because I fly almost every damn week, one of the two.

          • Door_Matt

            It’s like when someone from around here days they’re going to Disneyland–that’s great, didn’t you just go last week?

          • SouthSideGeno

            First one?

            Naaaawww…yer fam loves their UNGPapa

  • Penguin in Houston
    • Ungaba

      Stay alive, please! Thank you for checking in!!!

      • UlfSammySon

        Although any leakage sucks, glad to hear you are safe!!

        • Penguin in Houston

          Thank you!

      • Penguin in Houston

        I will! Penguins survive and win!

    • SouthSideGeno

      Not too bad.. Good for you.

  • RadioBirdman79

    If anyone wants to help out….. my boss’s kid had a big day on
    Saturday, you can vote for player of the week for high school football
    here..

    Matt Gilmartin

    http://nepafootball.com/2017/articles/week-1/prime-time-player-1

    • UlfSammySon

      Donezo. I want half his rookie contract if he goes pro.

      • Ungaba

        Reasonable. Host a party with your take and invite us and it’s all square. As long as Ahrn is on tap.

        • UlfSammySon

          All the Ahrn yinz can handle.

    • Ungaba

      I dunno… Scranton Prep sounds all hoity-toity to me. Yinz guys drink any Ahrn out dere?

      Just joshin, I voted for ’em.

    • Done and done!

    • SouthSideGeno

      got him

  • lauriruu

    Same as Craig Anderson facial expression after Kuni’s gola.
    https://twitter.com/Provorov_/status/902197220497387520

  • Penguin in Houston
    • SouthSideGeno

      …now the Houston Lake Police.
      MEIN GOTT!

  • Penguin in Houston
    • SouthSideGeno

      Those signal lights are usually mounted up at around 15-17 feet, or higher…so that trucks can safely get under them..
      JEEBUS

      • Penguin in Houston

        Maybe 9 more inches tonight.

        • SouthSideGeno

          My chryst.

  • Penguin in Houston
    • SouthSideGeno

      HEY…who went and built a city in the river?

      • Penguin in Houston

        Infrastructure is bad due to over building, etc.

  • Penguin in Houston
    • lauriruu

      I hope you have a boat!

      • Penguin in Houston

        Nope

        • SouthSideGeno

          Forget the boat…get on a helicopter and fly to an operating airport. You can come and stay with us till everything dries out. You know…in a year or two. There are plenty of jobs up here in Philthy….or PGH.

    • SouthSideGeno

      HOLY MUTHER OF UNG!

  • Penguin in Houston
    • SouthSideGeno

      IDIOTS ARE EVERYWHERE

  • Penguin in Houston
    • SouthSideGeno

      INCONCEIVABLE

  • Penguin in Houston
    • randy

      Those boats doan look too affected by the storm. 😉 Looks fake af though.

      • Penguin in Houston

        What boats?

        • Door_Matt

          He’s bein’ a jagoff.

        • randy

          The planes look more like boats because they’re so deep in the water.

    • SouthSideGeno

      THAT. IS. SICK.

      Why TF didn’t they get those jets outta there before the shit hit the fan…they knew it was coming…stupid frken airline management.

      • Penguin in Houston

        My dad told me it’s fake.

        • SouthSideGeno

          WUT? Well I would hope so…I mean no responsible airline manager would have left those jets out like that.

  • Penguin in Houston
    • Midnight Rider

      Do you live on a mountain? Or you’re just really lucky?

      • Penguin in Houston

        Nope, highest spot in Houston though! It’s called the Heights.

  • RadioBirdman79
    • PensPointsYourMom

      That brings back good feels of epic Nashville butt hurtedness.

      • Ungaba

        ‘good feels’ of ‘butt hurtedness’, eh?

        Not that there’s anything WRONG with that…

    • SouthSideGeno

      Paybacks…a lil bit…felt real good from where I was sitting.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    The only two things on now are the Non-Damon Bourne movie and the Mummy. I’m in some kind of goddamn Rachel Weisz loop. If I start quoting Fred Claus, someone put me out of my misery.

    • Ungaba

      And on the 8th day, God created Netflix…

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Nah, I like to be spoon fed shit I don’t actually want to watch. Netflix is too much choice (#sickofwinning) I have 12,000 free movies on demand, I never watch them.

  • SouthSideGeno

    …is currently your friend’s really nice boat.

    What a shame.

  • SouthSideGeno

    PPYM…take my advice and watch Ozark on Netflix. Brendann recommended it and It’s really very good.
    It’s got almost the same feel of Breaking Bad…but with a backwoods flavor.

    • Penguin in Houston

      I’ll check it out.

      • SouthSideGeno

        Jason Bateman is really good.

        • lauriruu

          Damn right.

    • Glad you watched it and dig it, how far in are you?

      • SouthSideGeno

        Watched S1 E5 last night.

        I had it on my watch list and I’m glad you recommended it because I kept skipping over it.

        It really gives me that same feeling of dreaded anticipation that I cam to love while watching Breaking Bad. So deliciously evil and twisted. Especially coming from Bateman who is always playing nicy-schmisy characters. Great stuff!

        2 hour Season Finally of Twin Peaks next Sunday on Showtime! Wooowhooo!
        It only took Lynch 15 episodes to ‘wake-up’ the good Cooper from his semi-zombie state.

        • SPOILERS

          I only watched the first two episodes of the Twin Peaks remake until I said “I dont care at all about this, I get it, its a WeIrD show” it lost the campy-ness of the original and it’s just scare tactics right now imo

          • SouthSideGeno

            I’ve stuck with it…I’m a masochist, generally speaking. PArt of me want’s to quit watching but I have to see how the season ends. I’ll decide after next week if I stick around for S2.

            I do LOVE how he ends each episode…at the “Bang-Bang” bar with very unique and unusual musical guest performers. David Lynch is a great weirdo…I like weird.

            I’m moving to Portland, I hear there’s an opening for King.

          • He kept doing that EVERY episode? Huh, that’s cool. I liked the original (but not that much) show, I had no idea they’re doing ANOTHER season..

            I used to love Eraserhead and all that shit, but I was also way younger and anymore I don’t have any time for things that exist just to make me feel a little weird

          • SouthSideGeno

            You talking about UNG?

          • SouthSideGeno
  • SouthSideGeno

    I know…poor baby. Last I heard was not gonna let up till Friday.

    You stay strong…this will END…things will get better.

    • Penguin in Houston

      My head hurts.

      • SouthSideGeno

        I feel so bad for you. Hang in there kiddo.

        How’s the Leaf?

        • Penguin in Houston

          Haven’t been since the CUP party a week after WE won.

  • Penguin in Houston
    • SouthSideGeno

      Greta says to say…WRUFF

  • SouthSideGeno

    Wutdafuq kind of league do we have here ladies and gentlemen…I ask you.

    How in the name of Jeebus Henry Chryst is Matt Staffoed, QB of the De-friggin-troit-neva-won-anything Lions becoming the highest paid player in NFL history at $135 mill/year and we can’t even afford a FUCKING 3rd line Center.

    BUTTMAN MUST DIE

    • Door_Matt

      No Fun League doesn’t guarantee their contracts in full. I am fairly certain they’re the only league that has that caveat.

      • SouthSideGeno

        Correction …$27mil/year over 5 years…read the fuckin tweet wrong as I was raging.

        BUTT STILL…

        • Door_Matt

          From the looks of it, this appears to be a fairly player-friendly deal. Which makes sense because… it’s the Lions. Most teams wouldn’t be dumb to handcuff themselves that bad without some measure of playoff success.

          • SouthSideGeno

            But but but…It’s STILL Matt Stafford. We can’t even scrape enough nickles together to pay Bonino or Cullen to stick around…after we’ve just won 2 CUPS!!!

            I hate that Buttman CAP

          • randy

            Well, seems we’ve got less cap probs than the capitLOLs. And if errey team was given more cap room, errey team would just fill it up again faster than ur mom after a night of bingo and drinking cheap wine. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

    • Ungaba

      Your misdirected anger is confounding to me. THE OWNERS WANT THE CAP. Bettman is their mouthpiece (ew), that is all. The owners speaketh and the Bettman doeseth.

      Get iteth? So we need to start attacking idiot owners. Burkle would spend even more if he could, so he’s not the problem. And there are others that are good as well, I presume. But there are definitely some awful ones. Kamarouounos or wtf ever in Carolina has a ‘self imposed’ cap, and is also a douche. Melnyk is a douche. Hmmm… I just realized those are the only owners I know. Shadowy frks, they be. Also, I’m lazy and don’t care enough to google them all.

      Regardless, the owners are the issue here.

      • SouthSideGeno

        Fuck yinz…I’ll construct my RANT any way I see fit. Buttman just makes it easier to focus the point on and he is easily detestable,,,you gonna rant on Mario?

        (yer right of course butt I refuse to take that into consideration right now….maybe later)

        • Ungaba

          Frk yinz too, ya jag. Why donchu go dahn to Chaunceys and pahnd a few Ahrns and chill aut, n’at!

          I’ll be dahn with Donnie and Ronnie right after we go da Pants n’At – Donnie needs new dungarees cause he’s a jag and ripped his.

  • Door_Matt

    I just got the pun in the title… Fuck yinz.

  • Penguin in Houston

    Still raining and I can’t sleep.

  • randy

    Is fiddler grab a play on fiddler crab? Otherwise, I don’t get it.

    • Penguin in Houston

      That’s what I thought.

    • Ungaba

      It better be or I’m dumber than I thought.

      • randy

        Is there a lot of fiddler crabs on the banks of the Allegheny River or something? Yinz smash them with a hammer and boil them on a little rocket stove while drinking Buds?

        I thought so.

        • SouthSideGeno

          You’re not doing it right…drinking ‘ahrns.’

    • SouthSideGeno

      No…it’s a play on words referring to Claud Girwho’s brother who is the 2nd chair violinist in the Ozark Philharmonic Orchestra : /

      • Penguin in Houston

        Da Fuq?!

        • SouthSideGeno

          Fuppeduck?

          • Penguin in Houston

            Pouring again but ‘sposed to stop today, maybe.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Fingers, toes and swords crossed for yinz all.

  • randy

    Just over at uuuuu.habs.hockey and saw they were vying for fiddler as well. The article was titled “Fiddler Hab.”

    ha ha ha.

    • lauriruu

      On ewww.caps.nocups ‘Fiddler Crap’

      • randy

        Haha I’m sure there are a lot of websites that could start with ewww. ewww.russianmachinereallyborked.com for example.

  • SouthSideGeno

    That Ruth/Julia Garner is a real nasty lil devil-beotch too…she’s gonna end up teaming up with Marty/Bateman though…I can feels it.

  • Andy PepPep
    • Ungaba

      He’s a lefty! I’M a lefty!

      I mean, I’m mostly right-handed, but not for certain ‘special occasions’.

      • SouthSideGeno

        UNG…leading the league in Left Handed Home Runs…on Porn Hub.

  • SouthSideGeno

    FRK ERREYTHING…I NEED SOME PENGUIN HAWKEY NOW DAMMIT

  • Penguin in Houston

    My sister’s good friends’ house on the back side of one of the reservoirs where the Army Corps of Engineers told developers NOT to build.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fc4e5990be58df5df87e788067e3fa49402bb6424ab5ec5947c79f1873a2151a.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/957b3689c373a7673cf21d71805dc7657a31ae95793ed1fa1c4598f5008442af.jpg

    • Ungaba

      49 inches and counting. JEEZUS. Stay safe.

      • Penguin in Houston

        Our annual rainfall total in only four days!

    • SouthSideGeno

      Up to the pool table in herbiez water…man-o-la does that ever suck.

    • God, what a nightmare

  • Ungaba
    • lauriruu
      • i don’t get it

        • lauriruu

          Habs have 24.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Oh…funny.

            And are those ALL the teams in the Chel that have never won a cup, I’m guessing?

          • lauriruu
          • Ungaba

            I at least got this one from the get go.

            Habs ’24’ is a silly number, agreed. If there are only 5 other teams, and you’re from the place that invented the sport and the league and had all of the resources it seems logical that they’d win the most.

            My favorite thing about the Habs is that they haven’t won one since 1993. So 24 in the first however many years, none in the last 24. Wheeeeeeeeeee!

            EDIT ADD: 12 in the modern era. That’s still pretty good.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Frk yinz, Fiddler grabbers.

          • Ungaba

            Make up your mind – are ya frkin’ us or are we grabbin’ our Fiddlers?

            Or both?

            Kinky…

          • lauriruu

            He must be happy to be named Vernon instead of Kit.

          • Ungaba

            Kit Fiddler…

            I guess that’s friggin’ HYSTERICAL in Finn-land, no?

          • lauriruu

            You gotta shoot to score.

          • Ungaba

            Nobody laughs at 100% of the jokes that you don’t make.

          • lauriruu

            Is Andrew any better then?

          • Ungaba

            Andy-fiddle-her? Ish, I guess, but only by a smidgen.

          • lauriruu

            Fiddler, Andrew (ontheroof)

          • Ungaba

            Oh, then no. Not funny.

          • lauriruu
          • They have 24?! I knew they had a lot but damn. I mean a lot of those don’t really count, or aren’t THAT impressive given the amount of teams in the league at the time

          • lauriruu

            I agree on that… but yeah that was le jóke here

      • SouthSideGeno

        I’m upvoting it cause…you…but WTF?
        hahaha

    • Penguin in Houston

      LMAO

  • Penguin in Houston

    That fucker, Harvey, finally figured out he isn’t wanted and is hauling ass at a whopping 5mph!

    • Ungaba

      Take what you can get. Send his dirty ass to Louisiana – they live in the swamps already.

  • Ungaba

    Illustration of Cup winners. I love that the Bruins are 6-13 in the Finals, lol:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/05bf8579897b8d062e452d6c528997473929095a7efe8510b0afaf9b11f03151.png

    • SouthSideGeno

      Philthy 2 – 6 hahaha

      • Ungaba

        Yeah, that ain’t good. Also enjoying the Wangs and Cocks being sub-500 when it counts.

    • Ungaba

      Oh, and the bottom of the list:

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b10b54ead98250ec4ee8f8f859c549b48e78b6290f4f43052390a3cbdc1d6801.png

      How glorious is it that the Pens are responsible for 2 of those?

      • Ungaba

        History is fun. The Isles only made it in 1980 – 1984, winning the first 4 years. Didn’t go before, haven’t been back. Crazy!

        • You should make a post about this fun history.

          • Ungaba

            You ruin everything by making it work. Damn management.

            But you’re right. I will commit to one of these. And it will be my first semi-serious post! But not today.

      • randy

        .833 win% cluuuuuutch af.

  • gutsgonebad

    Great write up PPYM.
    I got the itch and this time it’s not the crabs. It’s that feeling that September is upon us and hockey is in the air.

    • Ungaba

      GGB lives!!!!

      • gutsgonebad

        Oh yeah, I’ve been feeling great lately and have gotten alot more socially active (Bars and broads) so I’ve spent alot less time online.

        • Ungaba

          OK, that’s quite enough bragging, thanks! Ya bastard!!!

          Good on you. Variety is the spice of life. I’m so looking forward to freedom once we push the lil Ungs outta the nest. NEXT YEAR. I may never wear pants at home again.

          • gutsgonebad

            I was at a bar watching the Mayweather McGregor fight and some guy started telling me how I need to take advantage of being young and such. After listening I asked him how old he was and he said 34, I laughed and told him I was 39. He couldn’t believe it and so I explained it that not having kids is the fountain of youth. That’s probaly why I still have a full head of hair too.

          • Ungaba

            The hair thing is all genetics. 42 and rockin’ the flow, here, even if it’s mostly gray.

            But you’re right about the kids thing. My first gray hair showed up the SAME DAY that my first kid was born.

          • gutsgonebad

            Yeah, it’s definitely genetics. Both my grandfathers died with a full head of hair. Except for my younger brother, my mom must of had something going on the side

          • randy

            Fuck you guys and ur good hair! I started losing my hair way before my kid was born. Probably around age 15 or so. Far too much testosterone, I’d say. But still having more kids. Actually can’t wait (to get it over with heh).

          • SouthSideGeno
          • Ungaba

            It’s disturbing how closely I could resemble that picture.

          • gutsgonebad

            I thought the same thing a couple months ago so I went out and bought a Fitbit. Those things are assholes. It always makes me feel like a lazy piece of shit.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Those are ripoffs…I walk up my basement stairs like 3-4 times and it tells me I’ve circumnavigated the globe…#wasteof$

          • Ungaba
          • Ungaba

            I literally just ignored mine yelling at me 2 minutes ago. haha!

          • Photoshop some reeses in there

        • SouthSideGeno

          #outforarip

          atta guy!

        • Glad to see you around and glad-er to see you getting out and feeling great, keep it up, but hopefully you’re around more during the season!

          • gutsgonebad

            Oh shit, nothing could keep me away for too long.

  • For all of us who don’t live in TX and want to help, here’s a place you can easily donate:

    https://www.facebook.com/funds4disaster/

    • SouthSideGeno

      I just donated 1billion gallons of Flex Seal

      • Ungaba

        So you bought 1 billion and gave away the 1 billion that you got free?

        • SouthSideGeno

          Nope bought half a billion and donated it all!

          (haha, you ruin erreythng…where are our tickets Mr Buzz Buster)

          • Ungaba

            Great question – I’m asking ‘my guy’ now.

          • SouthSideGeno

            <3 …fingers, toes and swords crossed

          • gutsgonebad

            That be-otch up in Boston who just won $700 million dollars better kick in a couple rafts, canoes or anything.

          • Ungaba

            Hey GGB, are you in for our meat-up? 11/18/17?

          • gutsgonebad

            Yeah, is there a game that day in Pitt.?

          • Ungaba

            Dude, you really have been gone a whlie. Chicago is in town.

            @lauriruu:disqus is travelling in from Finland, shacking up with SSG, driving cross-state to the Paint Can, where myself and many, MANY other VVVVVV.pens.hockey dinguses will be as well.

            I have a buddy in ticket sales so we’re trying to get an accurate count and when we do, @brendannnn:disqus will use the magic of the interwebs to enable payment to go to one place. It shall be EPIC.

          • gutsgonebad

            That’s awesome. My brother is throwing a birthday party for my youngest brother in the Southside right around that week, so I’ll probaly be down there anyways.

          • Ungaba

            The more the merrier! hawtdoge is considering bringing his Dad.

            I was NOT considering bringing my mom. I think 15 dudes running a train would be a distraction.

          • gutsgonebad

            Definitely keep PPYM as far away as possible

    • gutsgonebad

      This is another great site for disaster relief.
      https://www.nvoad.org/

      • SouthSideGeno
        • Ungaba

          KILL IT WITH FIRE!

          Jeezus, that ‘man’ is scary looking. Who willingly does something like that to themselves?

          • lauriruu
          • SouthSideGeno

            That idiot could have played Pennywise in the new SK ‘IT’ film…and they’d have saved a fortune on makeup.

          • gutsgonebad

            He looks like he’s turning from Bruce to Caitlyn

          • Ungaba

            From Carrot to… shit, I dunno. Lettuce? Cabbage? Someone list a ‘feminine’ vegetable, dammit!

          • SouthSideGeno

            Mile Cyrus?

          • Ungaba

            I upvoted it… but I don’t understand it.

          • gutsgonebad

            Same here

          • SouthSideGeno

            : P

          • SouthSideGeno

            I’ma go hang out with FIn…he ‘get’s’ me

          • Ungaba

            You guys’ll have your opportunity soon enough…

            #crossstatehannies

          • SouthSideGeno

            Soooo…are you saying we have tickets? Glorious, Luxury Box Tix in Lemieux’s box…where I’m to be ceremoniously fed peeled grapes by Nathalie?

          • gutsgonebad

            I have no clue why Miles Billy Ray Cyrus is famous. I know that she sings but she just kind of appeared one day and never gave her a second thought.

          • Andy PepPep

            Disney

  • Ungaba
    • Ungaba
      • gutsgonebad

        I had sepsis (shock) and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy (Until NHL starts). It’s the most painful thing that you could ever imagine.

        • Ungaba

          UGH! That doesn’t sound appealing AT ALL.

          Hence the ‘gutsgonebad’, eh? Glad you pulled through!

          • gutsgonebad

            Yep. I was in perfect health until about 29. Then I got a ruptured abscess in my large intestine due to Crohns disease. Then I got MRSA that led to sepsis. The sepsis put me in renal failure, I got endocarditis in my mitral valve (required open heart surgery to trim tissue around the valve and insert a ring) and then the infection spread to my brain so they put me into a medically induced coma for 22 days because my brain kept seizing and wouldn’t stop. All together I was in AGH for 6 months.

          • Ungaba

            …and I thought my missing spleen and superventricular tachycardia were rough!

            DAMN, man. That was some serious shit. But if you’re talking about it now, I guess it turned out OK. Your survival reward is hangin’ with us jags! You win!!! 🙂

          • gutsgonebad

            Listen, anytime you go under the knife it’s serious because of risk of infection. It was a really long recovery process. The infection in my brain had the longest lasting side effects, mainly cause I also have PTSD and has gotten worse ever since. But I didn’t fight this battle to lose.

          • Ungaba

            Fuckin’ A!

            I hope you can make it on the 18th. Would be a pleasure to toss back a beer with you!

          • gutsgonebad

            Yeah, I really want to make this happen. I have to start conserving some extra money for it.

          • lauriruu
          • SouthSideGeno

            No running with scissors. I’m not playing if we’re running with sharps.

          • lauriruu

            Oh no it’s not sharp

          • SouthSideGeno

            Yahtzee is moar my speed : /

          • lauriruu

            I have always enjoyed Trivial Pursuit

          • SouthSideGeno

            I RULE AT TP…PIE ME!

          • lauriruu
          • SouthSideGeno

            lol…hit me again dealer

          • lauriruu
          • SouthSideGeno

            Hope you can…it’s gonna be good. You can still drink alcohol…right?
            ; )

          • gutsgonebad

            Of course I can still drink, the big guy upstairs spared my liver.

          • SouthSideGeno

            I have a couple of skin tags that are troublesome.

            Glad yer around to tell the story GGB…holy frk.

        • SouthSideGeno

          I always heard those Sepsis Tanks are more trouble than they’re worth…give me a connected sewer line any day.

        • Penguin in Houston

          Wading in Houston floodwaters?

      • SouthSideGeno

        *Tripple Play

    • SouthSideGeno

      I doan get it.

      hahaha

  • SouthSideGeno

    I’m heading to my supervisors office for a 2017 Golas conference.

    I daon have any golas : (

    I’m frked

    • gutsgonebad

      You’re only goal is to watch a certain team 3peat

      • SouthSideGeno

        I was gonna tell her my goal was to PH Blawg as much as possible with out getting canned.
        I decided it was prawlly better not to.

        • Ungaba

          Errey once in a while you do get one right 😉

          • SouthSideGeno

            Blind squirrel…n’at

  • Ungaba

    Well, Pelts, Florida was listening to you:

    https://twitter.com/theScoreNHL/status/902594850263928832

  • Penguin in Houston

    Gordito spotted in my parents part of town. Who let Mark Madden out of Pittsburgh?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8f1b29b642897d34c0dc21e941a776f68f23a4c37a661364fdfa78347f18d5cd.png

    • SouthSideGeno

      mmmmm…pork ribs…get that six shooter dahn from the shelf PiH

      holy crap

      This makes me think about how it would affect pets. I know my lil prima-donna princess Greta won’t even go outside if there is a threat of rain. I have to friggin carry her and bring an umbrella and the grass has to be 1″ or lower (short lil legs, rubs belly on wet grass, can’t have it)…so how & where do dogs go when there’s 8-10 feet of water? Hast’a suck for them…and then you add wild boar attack into the equation…cripes!

      • Penguin in Houston

        Geno usually won’t go out in the rain but he got used to it. Choppers overhead. Are we at war?

        • SouthSideGeno

          Only with erreybody…including the planet.

  • Penguin in Houston
    • SouthSideGeno

      Thank gawd. Hang in there Sunshine ; )

      • Ungaba

        And end in sight is a big step forward. Keep on keepin’ on!

  • SouthSideGeno

    Goin out to pre-order a Galaxy Note 8 tonight.

    Hope they doan blow up anymoar!?

    (if they do I know wut I’m getting UNG for Xmas ; )

    • Ungaba

      You are SOOOOO thoughtful!

      You’re getting a whole bunch of Spotted Dick under YOUR Xmas tree!

      • SouthSideGeno

        mmmm…figures, I know how much you luv some ‘Toad in the Hole’ : O

  • Ungaba

    Lookee what I found in my email box today:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7c054bea10ec4784f7308b1cb49f396b6ad0f5e510b71ebca5db1648a3b53dde.png

    Talking to my buddy tomorrow AM. Will know more then.

    • Only things I need r/n:

      1) A shared paypal. I can use mine but then I’d have to buy the tickets too
      2) A ticket price

      and we’re set.

      • Ungaba

        So you’re saying to set up a new Paypal account with some shared stuff so that…. what, everyone can go put $49.95 on it or whatever?

        • SouthSideGeno

          I am now officially cornfuzed : (

          • Ungaba

            Bren likes to keep things ‘fuzing.

            I will volunteer to have all PayPalians thru me.

          • UlfSammySon

            Glad I saw this before your mom took off this morning so I could tell her what a good boy her son is!

          • Ungaba

            Lemme guess… ‘the check is in the mail’, right? 🙂

          • UlfSammySon

            That’s one way to say it 😉

        • In order for people to pay for a ticket they need to pay someone. We need the someone. And that someone needs a paypal.

          • And we need the exact amount of a ticket (tax incl.) or else the “someone” who owns the paypal will wind up being fucked

          • randy

            Yeah that would suck.

          • Door_Matt

            “Someone” should talk to “someone else” and make an agreement to cover any shorted costs.

  • lauriruu
  • randy
    • SouthSideGeno

      Good friend of your’s?

      • randy

        my only frends are on pen’s.hockey

        • UlfSammySon

          xoxo

        • SouthSideGeno

          Ok bud…PENS 4 EVA

    • Ungaba

      Why for are you doxxing this individual? I mean, he does have kind of a high/douchy look to him, but he may be OK, right? Benefit of the doubt and all of that?

      • Even if he’s not “OK” I know plenty of douchebags IRL I’m not going to post their pictures/full names just to do it

        • randy

          Hadn’t really thought of that. Since only four people read the blog 😉 but yeah, I’ll remove it…

          • What if he starts reading?

            Then it’ll be five and I CANT RISK LOSING THAT READER.

          • lauriruu

            *Learns to read

          • SouthSideGeno

            WHORE

            *filling in for PPYM

      • randy

        If only you read what he wrote. He just went off about how Floyd Mayweather kicked CM’s arse. Like he was getting really spazzy. Anyway, pic removed. Thanks for the suggestion!

        • Ungaba

          It’s all good. We know no harm is meant.

          BTW, did you say whether or not you can make the ‘meat’ on 11/18?

          • randy

            It’s now a ‘meat’? Where’s sloth with his “oh boy” pic? Defs. put us down for two spots (me and m’lady). Thanks!

          • Ungaba

            Seriously? That’s great!

            @brendannnn:disqus Hey, write this one down, dammit! We got 2 more!

          • I thought Rad was taking the tally? I dont want responsibility!

          • SouthSideGeno

            Once again…micro-(penis)-management takes the backdoor

          • Ungaba

            You’re right, but I’m guessing he’s busy with the move and all.

          • SouthSideGeno

            How much time does it take to box up 3 beer mugs, 4 dildos, a box of happy tissues and a tube of KY?

          • Ungaba

            None at all. But there’s his fiance to consider as well…

          • SouthSideGeno

            That’s who’s stuff I was talking about?

          • randy

            Glass dildos are fragile. They need to be wrapped in tape that says fragile, then thrown down the stairs. That’s how you tell if they are safe for internal use.

          • SouthSideGeno

            “Doan forget the threaded butt plugs this time hunny! They’re in that drawer where we keep the Anusol” : O

          • randy

            Threaded? Is that like screw in type? The Anusol is for afterwards. Yup. Doan get drunk and pass out on hockey night in November!

          • SouthSideGeno

            (shhhh, Fin thinks he’s getting his own hotel room)

          • lauriruu
          • randy

            It’s ok Fin. It’s a pens.hockey certified safe space. What could go wrong?

          • lauriruu
          • randy

            Just be sure to lube up the joints. Wouldn’t want you to be too stiff

          • lauriruu

            And let’s stay away from fermented crabs, mmmkay.

          • lauriruu
          • randy

            Is fermented fiddler crabs a delicacy in Pittsburgh? Otherwise, I doan get it

          • SouthSideGeno

            hahaha…plains, trains and screw in butt plugs

          • randy

            Yup. The way I see it is you guys are pretty rad, and there may not be a team this good in a long time. So totes worth it, even tho it costs double to bring my gf.

          • lauriruu

            Who do we have so far? @somebody

          • SouthSideGeno

            We’re gonna havt’a cordon off a wives/asian hookers section…I’ll of course be sitting with the…wives ; )

          • randy

            You taking the 16 passenger pens.hockey branded windowless sprinter van to Wexford to pick up our escorts for the night?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Plenty of free, warm, melted butters for erreybody!

          • randy

            Got any margarine? That stuff is so good for you!

          • SouthSideGeno

            I can’t believe it’s not himpaste!

          • lauriruu

            HIGH FIN!
            HAUT NAGEOIRE! ❎

          • SouthSideGeno

            What’s yer Corsi Thrust Factor rating on that thing?

          • lauriruu

            12 pounds per square foot.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Soooo, – 3 ?

          • lauriruu

            Or 37,♍%

          • Ungaba

            I was told there would be no math

          • SouthSideGeno

            *MAF …sniff, dusty in here

          • Ungaba

            WHY DID YOU MAKE IT SAD I’M TOO HYPER TO BE SAD DAMMIT

          • randy

            *triggered

  • randy

    Plans for the afternoon: clean up after a tenant. He left a tube of Anusol behind. Dibs! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/23b84e001b4398ba59f7fb82453cbde86a494f1f5c1ddb2f4ced53dc3640d273.jpg

    • randy

      My gf was like, there’s some good stuff in here. I’m like, wearing rubber gloves and dumping it all into an incinerator.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      meh, its not the kind specifically branded “rectal” so you should feel free to lick the nozzle.

      • randy

        That’s fucking disgusting. I’m not gonna lick the nozzle. Just going to applicate a little for soothing relief. Mmm.

        • Ungaba

          “Applicate”

          • randy

            Applicate: To apply (a material to a surface). Ie, to apply Anusol to the butthole.

          • Ungaba
          • randy

            Indeed. That happens when the people that learn English as a second language are taught by people that also learned English as a second language. I find it kind of funny.

            Also, if I were trying to learn another language, im sure I’d botch it pretty bad, so I don’t mean to poke too much fun.

          • Ungaba

            Oh, I was just joshin’ for fun. You can say what you want when you want and how you want, at least in here.

            If you’re on a college campus in the US, however, you’ll have to first locate a proper Free Speech Zone before uttering such ridiculousness. 🙂

          • SouthSideGeno

            SETTLE DA FRK DAHN..it’s only 9:10 in the AM…doan make me go all Duawnauld on ya!

          • Ungaba

            I’ve been up since 6 AM. I’m already rollin’, dawg!

          • SouthSideGeno

            OK Zippy! ; )

          • Ungaba

            hamana hamana hamana hamana hamana hamana hamana hamana hamana hamana hamana hamana hamana hamana hamana hamana ZING!!!!!

          • SouthSideGeno

            PLEASE PUT YER CUP DAHN AND STEP AWAY FROM THE COFFEE MACHINE….YOU WILL NOT BE HARMED IF YOU COMPLY.

          • Ungaba

            Literally about to brew my second pot. Mrs. Ung got a little, but only because I wasn’t looking.

          • randy

            Damn two pots?

          • SouthSideGeno

            One for each kidney?

          • randy

            All good brutha. Wait, is pen’s.hockey a certifiable safe space?

          • SouthSideGeno

            HAHAHAHAHAHA…fuk no

          • Ungaba

            Yeah, you’ve seen my fateful forays into politics… they generally don’t turn out very well.

            Best we stick to hockey, porn and beer.

          • Our politic talk is probably the only reason we’re all still here

          • SouthSideGeno

            I’m almost at the end of my HAWKEY OFF-SEASON PATIENCE…I feel like I really need to hip-Czech someone

          • randy

            Can yinz do winez?

          • Ungaba

            Depends… is Mad Dog considered wine?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Biers too?

          • randy

            oh fuck. Well, about to get triggered again….

    • Penguin in Houston

      Fuq!?

      • randy

        That’s almost exactly my thoughts when I saw it. They did a good job cleaning out the entire place but forgot about the one drawer.

    • Ungaba

      Oh good, you reminded me to put this on my list

      • randy

        Get some vagisil while ur at it

  • randy

    dont get a sunburn 😉

  • Penguin in Houston
    • SouthSideGeno

      YEAH!

  • Ungaba
  • Ungaba
  • SouthSideGeno
    • Ungaba

      Meh, it may be funny. Why not try?

      • SouthSideGeno

        Cause …$400+ for tickets, when there are REAL BW shows that are waaaay better.

        • Ungaba

          OK, so now THAT is a compelling reason. I didn’t read about prices.

  • SouthSideGeno

    I just wrapped up the first season of OZARK on Netflix last night.

    They killed erreybody! HAHAHA

    That show is 98% as good as Breaking Bad was.

    • randy

      Umm ur spoiler tag didn’t work.

      • SouthSideGeno

        hahaha…fuckin thang doan wurk sew gewd the furst tyme

    • AS LONG AS THE PITTSBURGH BABY ELEPHANT IS ALIVE ILL BE HAPPY

    • lauriruu

      FRKEN REDNECKS.
      RIP in peace Jon Snow

    • Ungaba

      Just watched the first one last night. FIRST EPISODE. So stop frking it up, ya jag.

      • randy

        Any good?

        • lauriruu

          Very.

      • He’s lying anyway

        • Ungaba

          Still a jag, so my comment stands!

  • Ungaba
  • “The Allegheny County Health Department has issued a consumer alert for Thai Hana & Sushi Bar, located on 5th Avenue in Pittsburgh’s Central Oakland neighborhood.

    The health department said the presence of roaches and flies, cold foods being kept at unsafe temperatures and other issues were among the reasons for the consumer alert.

    They also noted that the dishwasher wasn’t sanitizing, there was an unknown liquid leaking from the ceiling and bags of rice were found infested with moths.”

    I eat from there like once a month.

    • SouthSideGeno

      How’s the hooker soup?

      • Ungaba

        Fishy?

        • SouthSideGeno

          Tomato base?

          • Ungaba

            With you there truly is no bottom. You can always take it lower.

          • SouthSideGeno

            It’s in my ‘Genes’…just lucky I guess

            HEY…you scrape septic tank bottom pretty good yerselfe…I must say!

    • Ungaba

      Remind me never to take any restaurant recommendations from you. Between this place and Pgh Steak Co., you’re batting .000

      • George Carlin, risks, yadda tadadda tabla.

        • Ungaba

          “Take a fucking chance. What are you going to do, drive a Toyota Corolla and eat at Wendy’s until the end of TIME????”

          • SouthSideGeno

            We own a Corrola and I luv a double with cheese : P

          • Ungaba

            Single with cheese is my jam, but you’re missing the point, you Croatian bastage!

          • SouthSideGeno

            That’s.. Mr. Hrvatski kopile ,,.to you lil mister!

    • lauriruu
      • SouthSideGeno

        Can’t wait to take you there…

        • lauriruu

          Sounds lovely! Please do.

    • lauriruu
  • Ungaba

    Wilson’s story has the deets on the Malk-o-mania fashion line:

    http://www.hockeybuzz.com/blog/Ryan-Wilson/Evgeni-Malkin–fashion-designer/177/87130

    • SouthSideGeno

      G71….OH YEAH

  • Ungaba

    OK, WHAT’S THE COUNT??? I’M ON THE PHONE NOW!!!

    @rad88, where are you when I need you? Great Neck??????

    • SouthSideGeno

      Tweet him…he’s always on his phone twatting

      • Ungaba

        Min is $102, kids. JEEZUS

        Thoughts?

        • Ungaba

          102 – Upper Bowl

          132 – Lower Bowl

          • SouthSideGeno

            My preference is lower bowl…(obvi : )

            butt I’ll go with the ‘flow’

          • Rad88

            Want me to make a new post to get thoughts?

          • Ungaba

            I just had him hold 16 in LB for $132

          • SouthSideGeno

            WOW 16 seats for a total of $132, nice work….hahaha

          • Ungaba

            That would have been nice.

            Apparently a Saturday night in November against Chicago is a desirable ticket. Who knew? 🙂

          • SouthSideGeno

            hahaha…yuh. They play like 3 Saturday night games at home all season.
            WE ARE GOLD

          • Ungaba

            That’s one of the reasons they got so many B2B’s this year – they requested more home weekend games.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Bout friggen time. Can’t do the Friday night games or Sunday night games cause …work and the long drive.

          • Rad88

            Okay, how long are they on hold?

          • Ungaba

            Week or so if I need. He’s a good dude.

          • Ungaba

            ADD: longer than a week. We have plenty of time. We can even wait to pay until 30 days out at this point.

            That said, I’d like to get it settled sooner if we can.

          • Rad88

            Okay, I’m moving tomorrow and Friday so I will throw together a post now. Has Brendan been on today? He can activate is form page so peeps can pay

          • Ungaba

            He is around, assuming he’s not still horking from eating that questionable sushi…

          • SouthSideGeno

            WAIT…we have to pay? I thought this was on PENS.HOCKEY???

            I can write it off as a business expense right?

          • Ungaba

            Yes. New post.

            Upper Bowl actually goes a lot quicker than the lower bowl, so we just have to see if everyone is OK with the $30 difference.

        • SouthSideGeno

          I’m in! Where are those seats located Section 100 I hope?

        • lauriruu

          How much for grown-ups?

        • Jovi

          i’m good with that

          • SouthSideGeno

            YEAH! : )

        • lauriruu

          Let’s frken goooo

    • lauriruu

      @ungaba, @lauriruu, @ulfsammyson, @hawtdoge, @rad88, @southsidegeno, @jovi, @nolongermyrealname91, @excoachnowplayerorsomethingVlad, @brendannnnn, @el wray @Door_Matt @randall

      • Wait shit we get +1s?

        • Ungaba

          Yeah, sure. We figured you’d be bringing the fiance.

          Well, at least I did as she said, ‘We should go to that’ when we talked. 🙂

          • After we talked she evolved it to “you should go to that”, you can puzzle over that one

          • Ungaba

            You cut me, Bren. You cut me deep.

          • I’m bringing KK just for the drama @SouthSideGeno:disqus

          • SouthSideGeno

            Hahaha…that TRAITOR! He’s missing a K?
            Would be nice if WhoReallyCares could make it.

            She’s disappeared as well. #sad

          • Ungaba

            bren, you’re an artsy fartsy sort… do you know anything about ‘Aladdin – the musical’? It’s at the Benedum. I wonder if it’s worth seeing?

          • Just cus I draw stupid shit doesn’t mean I know a thing about plays/musicals

            Little Shop of Horrors is where my knowledge of musicals starts and ends

          • Ungaba

            Fair enuf. 🙂

          • VERY BIZARRE, no fucking lie, I’m working from my moms office and she and a co-worker are talking about seeing musicals, this instant

          • Ungaba

            Perfect – ask them how Aladdin is. I need reviews!

          • Can’t you just stay home and play it on Sega Genesis? I can confirm it’s a GREAT game

          • SouthSideGeno

            How do concentrate on work at a brothel?

          • You just made it but this is already an underrated comment

          • SouthSideGeno
          • Ungaba

            Makes me miss my bong…

      • Ungaba

        Vladdy’s a +1 as well.

        Shit, that’s 18 by my reckoning.

        Confirmations need to happen quick so I can call back…

        • lauriruu

          T-SHIRTS!

          • SouthSideGeno

            HALTER TOPS and HOT PANTS with HOOKER HEELS!

    • Jovi

      no clue what Rad has but this was posted in the last link:

      “Running list for those interested in 11/18 blog meet-up game:

      @ungaba, @lauriruu:disqus , @ulfsammyson, @hawtdoge, @rad88, @southsidegeno,
      @jovi, @nolongermyrealname91, @excoachnowplayerorsomethingVlad,
      @brendannnnn, @el wray”

  • Penguin in Houston
    • I-Sea.

    • Ungaba

      Saw this earlier. Whitecaps on the highway. JEEZUS.

    • SouthSideGeno

      Nope…that’s definitely the open ocean…JEEBUS CHRYST!

    • Nolongermyrealname91

      That’s insane.

  • Nolongermyrealname91

    Did I miss the comment where SSG praised Doan retiring?

    • Ungaba

      I doan give a frk

  • lauriruu
    • SouthSideGeno

      He’s 36 years old fer cryin aut lauwd!?!?

  • Very highly upvoted comment on reddit from a Flyers fan:

    21 years, 1 team, 0 controversy, high caliber play every year, beloved by the fan base and never did anything to endanger that… what a career, hope he gets a nice front office job if he wants it.

    • SouthSideGeno

      Just proves that sewer scum floats together.

      • Ungaba

        For clarification purposes, he’s scum because of the Letang hit, I get that. But is there anything else that he’s done?

        • SouthSideGeno

          He stood yer mum up on a date once.

          • Ungaba

            If she had a dollar…

  • Max Domi just went into how “Being a Captain is overrated” (because everyone is a leader.) in an article about how great Doan is…

    Idea for comic..?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4ae79f98508c65b24e16644f0a1d41442c1c5ad251edae21ff76c596d145aa6f.png

  • SouthSideGeno

    I’ma just say this…If @PureHockeyFan is out there listening…TODAY would be the perfect time to return to PENS.HOCKEY…with a very simple 4 word comment…you know what it is! …ya big pussy!!

    • lauriruu

      I bend the knee?

      • SouthSideGeno

        You damn right you do ; )
        Butt, no…that’s not wut I’m looking for here.

        • Ungaba

          It’s been so long I forget it too.

          • SouthSideGeno

            *Hockey Jeopardy Question of the Day…”Someone who retired from the NHL today, still does this?”

          • Ungaba

            What is: Shane Doan still sucks?

          • SouthSideGeno

            DING DING DING…yes UNG you’re the board leader at $1000…select please.

            UNG: “I’ll take X-PENS.HOCKEY Blawgers who are Pussies for $500 please.”

          • Andy PepPep

            What is “all of them”, Alex?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Judges? …Not the answer we were looking for (@PureHockeyFan) …but we can accept tit ; )

          • Ungaba

            How was the wedding? Open bar?

          • SouthSideGeno

            HEY…are you convo-blocking here?

          • Ungaba

            I guess?

            I just remembered him heading to a wedding the other night, so wanted to ask.

            Jealous, much?

    • I sorry for overreacting?

      • SouthSideGeno

        Ohhhhh, nice try…(You should have that sewn on the back of yer hawkey sherzey)…butt NO, incorrect!

    • lauriruu
  • Rad88

    Hey Ung what am I asking in my new post? If $132 is okay with everyone? What is the alternative

    • SouthSideGeno

      Need the total, with tax and all charges/per ticket included please.

      • Rad88

        I thought it was $132?

        • SouthSideGeno

          Dunno…UNG can confirm…I thought that was just the ticket price.

          HI Dr. RADenstein ; ) How goes the moving?

          • Rad88

            annoying. I’ve been packing for 3 days and still not finished. Loading up tomorrow morning and heading out.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Yuh….moving has to be one of the most fuppeduck jawbs there is. It does enable you to get rid of a ton of shiz you doan need though. My next move…I’m renting a dumpster and unloading a ton-o-shiz. Good luck and have fun restartin yer lives in NYC.

            P.S. I’ll be knocking on yer door as the last item from the last box is placed in it’s place.

          • Rad88

            my parents are helping me unloading the truck then they are leaving, and my fiancee isn’t moving up until October, so that last box getting unpacked might take awhile. But you can show up anyways and I’ll buy you beer and you can help!

          • SouthSideGeno

            hahaha…yer Fiancee is a smart cookie! Parents..not so much ; )

            One of these days when I come into the City to visit my daughter…I’ll let you know.

          • Ungaba

            Maybe if you drank less beer and packed more shit, it’d go faster… ;-P

          • SouthSideGeno

            *UNG…’Killing Buzz Since 1966′

          • Ungaba

            *1974, Mr. CroatianGooberPants.

            Don’t make me any older than I already am, as tempting as it may be to have someone closer to YOUR decade of birth… 🙂

          • SouthSideGeno

            hahaha…My senior year in High School….soooo it WAS yer mum : )

        • Ungaba

          $132 is the price I was quoted, fully loaded, for the Lower Bowl.

          $102 for the Upper Bowl, but we’d have to act super fast on that.

          On instinct I had him hold 16 at the $132 rate.

          • Rad88

            can you go into the posts and just view what I have written and make sure it’s right, and add stuff to it if you wish when you get a chance

          • Ungaba

            That thing looks good to me. Let’s start from the assumption that $132 is APPROVED, and work backwards from there.

            WORK BACKWARDS, SSGeno… smart ass.

          • Ungaba

            Made a couple minor updates.

            Looks like 19 seats now.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Jussayin…maybe you should tell him 20 just to be safe?

            Can we go under the ‘guesstimate’ without having to pay for all of them?

    • Jovi

      5 handies in wexford for $50 and beer/wings at Acacia for $25 dollars

      • SouthSideGeno

        Ummmm..door #2 please Monty

  • SouthSideGeno

    NSFW ALERT
    I’m trying out a new segment on here…it’s the Afternoon Hawkey Porn pick-me-up…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7eda70638e599e7d36f829fab35d8da234dd02b01e85f91c73869203554f77b7.gif

    • Ungaba

      100% approved, fwiw

      • SouthSideGeno

        I picked the Blackcock Ice Gurl on porpoise

        • Ungaba

          Too bad they don’t travel with the team

          • SouthSideGeno

            Our PENS gurls seem kinda…hokey.
            Or is that just me?

          • Ungaba

            I dunno, I don’t really notice them – been married too long? Bad eyes? Too many dudes on the ice at the same time?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Oh…those are dudes…no wonder those gurls look so ugly.

  • PenguinPelts

    The Golden Knights assigned their jersey numbers, with no major surprises. But I don’t know, some days I look at that team and think ya, they could bother some of the old fail safes in the West, and other days I look at them and think what the hell was McPhee thinking?

    • SouthSideGeno

      When ever I get the urge to ‘look at’ the Golden Knights…I punch myself in the dik.
      Doan do it.

  • Rad88
    • Ungaba

      ABANDON POST!!!!