LOI

Pittsburgh Media Idiots

It’s about time we made a list of our own. With the latest ‘revelations’ that Phil Kessel is ‘uncoachable’ and ‘likely to be traded’ by one of Pittsburgh’s media members, I think it’s time for us to wade into this mess.

Having said that, I think it’s important that we don’t use real names. Without further ado:

Grumpy Ugly Sweater Guy
Idiot With An iPhone Decibel Meter
Fat Disgusting Pigย (“Tendies” is also accepted)

This is meant to be a ‘live post’ of sorts, so please feel free to edit and add at your leisure. Mostly because I’m at work and don’t really have time to do this justice.

  • lauriruu

    Are you just listing people who are at the same meeting?

    • Ungaba

      If they are idiots, yes.

      Now accepting suggestions.

      • lauriruu

        Oh, I know! That band I dislike!

        • Ungaba

          I thought you liked everything. That’s what it seems like at least.

          • lauriruu

            Reasonable thinking, Ung. The truth is I don’t like everything. :/

  • SouthSideGeno
    • Ungaba

      That’s ‘Coach Ballz’ to you, bub.

  • Ungaba

    Shit. I used a GIF that didn’t have a watermark…

    Sorry, PPYM.

    • Ungaba

      In my defense it was in the media folder.

    • SouthSideGeno

      S’ok…we’ll just add you to the new list….muahahaha

      • Ungaba

        You and Finnish Larry are making a list of people to cook and eat? Lovely. I’ll get some fava beans.

        • SouthSideGeno

          Those go perfectly with UNG baby backs.

        • Penguin in Houston

          I’ll bring the Chianti.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Always wine-en ; )

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Im not the watermark enforcer, in fact, I don’t give a fuck. Also I didn’t make that GIF.

      • Ungaba

        Oh, whoops.

        Who did?

        • PensPointsYourMom

          J-B0t or Doge maybe?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            could have been Sloth

          • MoonStanley

            not I, sir

  • Penguin in Houston

    Gotta be Mark Madden, Pittsburgh’s Hippo Gordito!

    • Ungaba

      All in favor of renaming ‘Fat Disgusting Pig’ to ‘Hippo Gordito’, please vote.

      I’m agnostic. Both make the point.

      EDIT: though now that I think about it, we should work in ‘tendies’ somehow…

      Hippo Tendy Lover?

      • Penguin in Houston

        He’s not just a hippo. I’m thinking of a really cool hippo pig .gif that somebody could make. Lol

      • HawtDoge

        I love “Hippo Gordito”, but it might be too cool of a nickname, ala “Steigy” only deserved “Paul”. But I do want to say “Hippo Gordito” forever and always… I’M SO TORN!
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/71a8195146822b76a11cba525268d0f05c12077966dd525c29a3709a25c88792.gif

        • lauriruu

          Already? I’m a little late. Sry.

          • Ungaba

            Hey, this is how I feel

          • HawtDoge

            Damn… beat me to it! ๐Ÿ˜€

          • HawtDoge

            Hahahah… this is how I feel

          • HawtDoge

            Guess what I’m doing in the basement…

          • HawtDoge

            First off… it’s cold…

          • lauriruu

            No need to feel shamed, Doge!

          • lauriruu

            Put on some clothes if you are cold!

        • Man, she’s now 42. Not that that’s old, but that’s so weird to me. Getting OLDER IS WEIRD

          • j-b0t

            I don’t even know who that is.

            HAVING NO LIFE IS WEIRD.

        • Penguin in Houston

          TY!

      • Randy

        Wait, what’s a tendy? Thought it was short form of goal tender. Like ‘tender, but shorter. I dumb?

  • HawtDoge
  • Ungaba
    • HawtDoge

      LOVE IT

    • Penguin in Houston

      Happy Penguin dance!

    • The66thDopefish

      I don’t think the power-play will be a problem this year.

  • MoonStanley

    i miss the gif party

    • HawtDoge

      LETS GO BACK!!!

  • I’m just jumping in and catching up, did Tendies say this about Phil??

    • HawtDoge

      I just read headlines… can’t member. I feel like there were a handful of people claiming similar things… Anyone without short term memory loss?

      • Just looked it up, Ron Cook. What an idiot. Saying we need to trade him

        • HawtDoge

          Yeah, he needs to be sent off to ‘a farm’ to ‘peacefully live out the end of his years’

        • MoonStanley

          Did he say WE need to? or just that management was going to?

          That’s what Madden said. Only that they planned to if they didn’t win these cups

          • Ungaba

            MM has been involved as well saying that Kessel is a mega problem and requires special handling.

          • MoonStanley

            I’ve heard him say he loves him, but would understand if they wanted to move him based on production/salary. That’s mainly what I’ve heard from him about Kessel, and he repeated that multiple times

            Also, that he was unsure of the chemistry with Geno or Malkin

          • MM says anything for ratings, he saw that shit work in Toronto and Philly (w/ Bryz) and he’s doing what already worked

          • PensPointsYourMom

            #tradeMalkin2015

          • MoonStanley

            I heard MM say he likes working and has a high IQ

  • MoonStanley

    Time for a new post….

    • why?

      • MoonStanley

        personal reasons, aren’t we doing that now? ๐Ÿ˜‰

        • Ungaba gets off his butt to do something, I post a great Dirty Work clip and we ALL JUST MOVE BACK A POST? Nu uh, I dont think so.

          • MoonStanley

            WE?!

          • MoonStanley

            wheres dat comic? THAT deserves a fresh post

          • Ungaba

            I 100% agree. Feel free to edit THIS crappy post so that it’s the comic instead.

          • MoonStanley

            NEW POST! ๐Ÿ˜‰

          • Too much work to catch up on today ๐Ÿ™

          • MoonStanley

            No problem, WE’ll keep reminding you ๐Ÿ™‚

            don’t be sad!

          • SouthSideGeno

            sez Adolph Hitblawg

          • MoonStanley

            CENSORSHIP!

  • MoonStanley

    This one was all speculation, anyway

    Here you are: http://pens.hockey/the-pittsburgh-penguins/

    • Ungaba

      YOU can go backwards. But I will stay forwards. Even if my post is stupid.

      • MoonStanley

        WE live in America, right?

        • Ungaba

          Yup! Which is why you can do what you want.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Wut about FIN? Will that apply to him when he’s here?

          • MoonStanley

            I’mma go backwards so far that I’m in front of erreyone

  • Ungaba

    I divided the blog. I am shamed.

  • Ungaba
      • Ungaba

        Why would you be against his return? I don’t understand. He’s the best 3rd line center in hockey.

        • I don’t agree and I don’t think he’s worth the money for us right now.

          • WEVE GONE OVER THIS

          • Ungaba

            AND YOU’RE STILL WRONG

        • PensPointsYourMom

          I don’t have a problem with Staal per se. But he’s expensive for a defensive center. Top of the line price tag for an aging forward who doesn’t play a speed game. I’m also not smitten with the 3 center model. I also worry about what we’d have to give up to get him. There are some teams up against the cap now DET, TOR and WSH (the last being an unlikely trade partner) who are going to have to move players for cheap. Is Horny, a prospect and a pick worth Staal? Maybe, maybe not. But he won’t be free and CAR has no real incentive to move him unless its worth their while.

          • Ungaba

            Good points, all.

            Shame he makes $6M. That’s too many monies. Dammit, ex-CarGMJR!

          • MoonStanley

            MM said GMJR will get his old job back for 1 day so he could make the deal super cheap. He’ll then quit again and come back to the Pens.

            just joshin

          • PensPointsYourMom

            That’s bananas

          • MoonStanley
          • PensPointsYourMom

            To get a little more specific, Staal has 6 years left on his contract at 6 mil per. He’ll be 34 when the last year starts. He’s arguably past peak age now, and his value is maxed out. That 6 mil isnt going to seem well spent in another year, or two or three, and he’ll still have time left on his contract. In that time, the pens will have to resign Jake, and a bunch of other young guys.

          • Ungaba

            Then you ship him to the VGKinas. Problem solved!

            No, I get your points. It would be an ungainly contract and is likely inadvisable. Doesn’t stop us from dreaming.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            he’s got a NTC

          • Ungaba

            Dream crushing sunovabitch…

  • lauriruu
  • Ungaba

    Nice story on Rowney:

    http://www.wbspenguins.com/2017/07/12/year-life-carter-rowney/

    I believe GMJR when he says Rowney can be their starting 4th line Center. If Cullen would just decide to come back, we can put all of this to rest and have money to play with at the deadline, if necessary. THAT would be the best case scenario.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Wilson breaks down the 3C options, some interesting quotes from GMJR and TK in there too:
    http://www.hockeybuzz.com/blog/Ryan-Wilson/Rutherfords-list-of-third-line-center-options/177/86413

  • MoonStanley

    Guy I went to HS with was just cleaning the bathroom where I work(for less than 10 more hours). So random.

  • MoonStanley
  • PensPointsYourMom

    did you already post that? my bad.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Gonch hired as full-time assistant coach…also Sid did a presser today:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4PASeww_NU

    • MoonStanley

      He used to make salary at McDonald’s?

      ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • SouthSideGeno
    • MoonStanley

      hahahaha NICE!

  • lauriruu
  • SouthSideGeno

    @lauriruu:disqus @MoonStanley:disqus @SouthSideGeno:disqus

    ALL ON DOUBLE SEKRET PROBATION….CHARGE: MONKEYBIZ ON DA HAWKEY BLAWG

    • MoonStanley

      Do WE get cavity searches?!

      • SouthSideGeno

        …I’m holding out for nipple electrodes

        • MoonStanley

          Wise choice

    • lauriruu

      What’s the penalty? My body is ready…

      • SouthSideGeno

        UNG yelling at us, followed by a general shunning by the Blawgulation?

        You’ll crack…20 minutes …tops

        • lauriruu

          Oh noooo! It is FAR worse than I thought. I’ll plead guilty?

          • MoonStanley

            Quick! Everyone hop into my time machine!!

          • lauriruu

            I’m there… But when???

          • Ungaba

            November 5th, 1955!!!!

          • lauriruu

            Holey Olli! That’s frkn creepy, Ung.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Hu…wut iz?

          • lauriruu

            That’s my father’s date of birth.

          • SouthSideGeno

            HOW DO IT KNOW?

  • SouthSideGeno

    That Doucher

  • MoonStanley

    that fuckin basketball scene….

  • SouthSideGeno
    • lauriruu

      LOL. I knew it! Awesome job der, G

    • MoonStanley

      JOVI’S A GIRL?!

      • SouthSideGeno

        AND KATT WOMAN

    • Jovi

      Nice editing. Not sure how you made the mask but thanks; I have a Christmas card for this year.

  • lauriruu
    • HawtDoge

      *whispers*
      “w…w…w…”
      *runs away*

      • I wish I didnt need to make it so small, you cant even see who the players are

        • SouthSideGeno

          Put in into the POST…ya gotz 35 Megerbititos up der ???

        • MoonStanley

          It took me a second, but this is still AWESOME!

    • SouthSideGeno

      Classic stuff right there…TY : )

  • MoonStanley

    i actually watched that recently too haha. SO BAD

  • Updated the post with a couple old photoshops of mine

    • Ungaba

      Quality adds.

    • MoonStanley

      Great Stuff! ยฉ

    • SouthSideGeno

      hahaha Paulie Wallnutz…wish we could have kept that hero

  • SouthSideGeno

    Whew! I vas skert…

    • Ungaba

      Same. I was all like ‘whaaaaaaa’ and then I was all like, ‘you cray’ and THEN I was all like ‘That’s just not funny’.

      • SouthSideGeno

        I thought maybe you went all Dark CIA/NSA on us or sumpin.

        • Ungaba

          Nah, I’m actually working. At a client. Big conf room meeting stuffs. Learning new technology.

          KILLING ME

          • SouthSideGeno

            Still working as well…will be through the weekend.

            What’s even worse is I’m about to call the ‘Juror Hotline’ for my County to see if I was called to appear tomorrow.

  • SouthSideGeno

    What time do the Pens start tonight?

    Oh….frk : (

  • SouthSideGeno

    I have to report for Jury ‘Doody’ tomorrow morning at 8:15am.

    GUILTY…HANGIN AIN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR EM!

    fuk

    • j-b0t

      ehhhh welcome to the club.

      • j-b0t

        Just show the lawyers that you are an actual thinking reasonable human being (NOT a robot) that will consider the facts of the case and they’ll dismiss you.

        My lawyer friend told me that’s why most jurors get dismissed. The trick is for the lawyers to ask questions that can out a juror in a more clever way.

        • SouthSideGeno

          You know me. I can’t possibly fake that I’m an actual thinking, reasonable, human being.

          I’m doomed I tell ya!

        • Ungaba

          I have never been called. I think it’s because I registered to vote…

          • Ungaba

            …for the wrong party. ๐Ÿ™‚

          • FINALLY YOU ARE COMING AROUND

          • Ungaba

            Ha! Since you had a bad day yesterday, I’ll let you believe this to be true.

          • Treason not enough eh? Most republicans I know are now either dems or independents. Now you’re just playing sides to do it, no way you could seriously get behind this dunce and his goony associates.

          • Ungaba

            If they can prove anything against him, that would be fine – get him out. No issue.

            And you can bet your ass that an investigation will be continuous until it happens.

          • Penguin in Houston

            Fake news

          • SouthSideGeno
          • Ungaba

            When Bren gets sad he pokes the hive for jollies.

          • No, it’s just that you’re a smart person and this is an embarrassing organization to support just to avoid saying “shit I was wrong”

          • Ungaba

            I’m not supporting the organization.

            Also, exactly nothing has been proven yet. Whatever happened to ‘innocent until proven guilty’?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Right you are, but that being said…you must admit it looks pretty friggin bad, eh?

          • Ungaba

            The fact that, during the campaign, some lawyer called up and said, “I have dirt on your opponent” and it could potentially have been because said opponent had had inappropriate relationships with the Russian government when she was Sec. Of State.?

            No. That’s not a problem to me. If ANYONE running for office had gotten the same call they’d have done the same thing, I guarantee it. Also, replace ‘Russian’ with any other place on the planet and nobody gives one half of one shit.

            Remember, they’re leaving out the part that this woman had no official relationship with the gov’t. AND the fact that she didn’t even have anything to dish – she just wanted to complain about that adoption law thing. It was a bait and switch.

            Hilary (and Obama, by proxy) did more damage with Russian relations, OFFICIALLY, than Trump and his campaign could have ever done ‘unofficially’ when they created that freaking uranium deal.

          • “someone who is irrelevant now is also bad, so I will go to the end of the Earth defending this man”

          • Ungaba

            That’s just lame, dude. Lame. I don’t go to ‘the end of the Earth’ defending these people. And that’s where I have such a big problem with all of this.

            If you agree with me, you’re OK. If you disagree with me, you’re a criminal.

            That’s just lame.

          • Midnight Rider

            Congrats on getting errey Fox News talking point into one comment. Truly commendable.

          • Ungaba

            A perfect representation of my point. Thanks, Salt Man!

          • Midnight Rider

            You’re welcome? I didn’t think you had a point other than trolling, but I guess I’m wrong?

          • Ungaba

            Yes, you are wrong. My point is that the left says ‘oh look, he’s an asshole’ when there is ZERO evidence.

          • Midnight Rider

            Wait, Trump isn’t an asshole? There is a tape of him joking about grabbing women by the pussy. If that’s not an asshole, then I was raised wrong.

          • Ungaba

            Subject change. Oh yeah, he’s 100% DEFINITELY an asshole. Totally. I’d want to smack him myself.

            So what? Obama wasn’t? Clinton wasn’t? Bush wasn’t?

            Come on.

          • Midnight Rider

            All this whataboutism has me thoroughly confused. I think I need to bow out of this convo; I don’t even know what we’re talking about.

          • Ungaba

            YOU started it. YOU wanted it to be this way/that way.

            Look, Trump is a fucking asshole. I get this. I don’t defend this. I wish someone else were POTUS. But that’s not where we are.

          • SouthSideGeno

            They all are…no one should argue that.

          • SouthSideGeno

            That wasn’t me.

          • SouthSideGeno

            But UNG…Don Jr. verified that that email was real and it clearly states that he was being offered information by a foreign country to aid in in their opponents take down. He accepted the offer and appeared at the meeting. (He also cc’s Kushner and Manafort.)
            That is the legal definition of conspiracy.

          • Ungaba

            Good lord, you snowflakes really defend your own, don’t you?

            Again, the Trump thing isn’t my thing. My thing is equanimity. I don’t give one half of one flying fuck about Fox or MSNBC or CNN or anything else. I don’t watch them. I HATE all of them. Literally all of them.

            But if you think for one second that if the situation were reversed and it was a Hilary shill in that position, would it be any different, you are truly retarded.

            THAT is the point. THAT is why I get upset.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Doan get upset…we’re just talking, right? Discourse. Diplomacy.

          • Ungaba

            I wish we were. I wish that was what was going on here.

            But what is actually going on here is that ‘if you defend something/someone other than what I/WE think is OK, then you are the enemy’ is what is happening.

            There is no discourse. There is only ‘you are wrong, I am right, that is all’. And that is the ruination of our democracy.

          • SouthSideGeno

            WUT? How do you get there? I simply stated some facts about the D Jr’s email.
            I wasn’t attacking you or your positions on policy or governance…this is something that actually happened. It’s true…no conjecture or assumption. It is something that someone did. I never said you were wrong or right. Only presenting facts and asking your view of them. I doan wanna argue about this.

          • Ungaba

            What he was being offered was information by an individual. That’s it, that’s the list. Everything else is conjecture and bullshit. I don’t care if it’s Russia or the Congo or Syria… it’s all the same.

            “Geno, I have information for you,” Ungaba – Congo.

            What do you do? Say ‘no’ because I’m Conganese? Bullshit. You meet and you see what you can get. Shoe. Other foot. Does it fit? That’s my point.

          • SouthSideGeno

            But UNG, that’s the point. The Legal point is that the words in the email exchange and the action taken constitute a felony crime according to Federal Election Law…Conspiracy.

            It dosn’t even matter if there was nothing gained, i.e. money, information…whatever. The law states that you can not conspire with a foreign actor for political gain in an American election.

          • Ungaba

            100% incorrect. The law states that nothing illegal took place during this exchange. If it did, charge DJ Jr. and be done with it – I’d support it 100%. But that’s not what happened here.

            Not illegal. Nothing to see here. But if something DID happen, Please, fuck them all.

          • SouthSideGeno

            No the exchange IS the conspiracy. You’re not interpreting the legal ramifications accurately.

            Example…I call you up and tell you I have a bag of Coke. You say great..I love it. You drive over and when you get here the Coke turns out to be powdered sugar. The Feds are in the other romm and come out and but you for CONSPIRACY to commit a felony. It doan matter that there wasn’t any Coke…you conspired with me to buy some and you can get sent to jial for that.

          • Ungaba

            Oh fuk auff. If that were that easy to prove, the Clinton’s would never have gotten re-elected. Seriously.

            And like I said – if it’s illegal, I really do want them gone. WHOMEVER they are. Trump, Clinton, Bush, Gore… I don’t care. GET OUT. But the fact that there is no smoking gun should be a pretty big indication that there really is nothing here to report. Yet. Honestly, please – kill them all. Shoot them. Toss them out. I don’t care, but end this.

            Yet they can’t. They don’t.

            WHY???

          • SouthSideGeno

            Awwww…doan be all nasty and angry about it.

            Fuk ON!

          • Ungaba

            Read what I wrote. Respond to what I wrote. Don’t be a wallflower about it. Pussy.

            EDIT: I am SOOOOOO excited to meet for our game. I really do love you guys/gals!!!!

          • SouthSideGeno

            No, I think we’ve both made our points and I’m done. We should just move on.
            We good?

          • Ungaba

            I 100% very much enjoy our debates. You and I both love the Penguins. Anything else is ancillary.

            We are good and I very much am looking forward to meeting and hanging out together!!!!

          • SouthSideGeno

            Same. Your ok …for a big bag-o-hammers : /

          • Ungaba

            When we meet, you will LOVE me, I”m sure of it. I can’t wait!!!!!!!

          • SouthSideGeno

            No doubt. I think we are all gonna have a great time and I hope we can get a good sampling of Penguidiots to show up.

            Looks like we’ll be staying in PGH for two nights. Drive in Friday…crawl out Sunday. I hope Finlandia is ok with that…guess I better ask him. Anyway, we should see if peeps are available for a Friday night pre-rev in the South Side?

          • j-b0t

            I mean, I would have thought him a psychopathic asshole who continues
            to actively work against the interests of the voting class that propped
            him up would have been reason enough, but, whatever.

            Now talkin’ to the gol’dang RUSSKIES!??!? GET HIM OUT.

          • I honestly thought and think the whole Russia stuff is too much like McCarthyism for me to care _that_ much about. It’s a drop in the pond for me.

          • SouthSideGeno

            It was only a lil fender bender…not like a serious collusion.

          • “the gol’dang ruskies” sounds kind of like Hank Hill.

            I just imagined how Hank Hill, a greatest hits of a Texan Republican, how he would react if his character heard about DONALD TRUMP being president. He’d want to kick everyone’s ass!

            It makes no sense any way you look at it.

          • SouthSideGeno
          • SouthSideGeno

            No. It’s cause of yer criminal record…those rubbers you stole from the drugstore in high school…remember?

          • Ungaba

            You mean the ones I WISH I stole…

            Long story.

          • SouthSideGeno

            …and wide

          • Randy

            IIRC, your story only lasted about 90 seconds.

          • Penguin in Houston

            Negative. You get called because you’re registered to vote. I get called every three to four years to both city and county courts. Fuckers!

    • Ungaba

      Reasonable. I’m already convinced of his/her guilt as well.

      • SouthSideGeno

        I could conceivably get round 2 of the Cosby case : O

        • Ungaba

          I thought they were talking about taking that out in to California or something? What a farce that all is.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Really? Crap…now I have nothing to look forward to.

          • Ungaba

            Maybe they found that robot destructor…

  • Penguin in Houston

    Archie and Pooh got re-signed.

  • Turned on the TV and random football player hosting some dumb award show, says “make the lights blue, now red, now blue, now cut to pk subban having fun” and pk subban starts freaking out, pretty funny

  • PensPointsYourMom

    This is floating around again…one of my fav tPB jobs of all time.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=54&v=JTOcBiKE12w

    • SouthSideGeno

      There has never been a bigger moron allowed to broadcast to the public.

      OK, wait…there might be one other even bigger moron…but I’m talking ‘sports related.’

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Ok here’s the straight dope, and I’m gonna tell ya. Would I trade Kessel for Landeskog and Duchene, or two other fantastic NHL talents? Yes. I’d do it, and I wouldn’t look back. I love me some Phil. I mean, he’s pretty much a folk hero. But whether or not trading him is a good idea is entirely dependent on the return. And frankly I don’t think there’s a team out there willing to give the return I’d want for him.

    • SouthSideGeno

      I’ma havt’a agree witcha. If we could get two, younger exceptional talented players for a 30 year old Phil…I’d roll the dice as well. I think most teams would only offer one player and draft picks.

      So, I guess we’re just ‘stuck’ with an ol’e folk hero, two time SC winning UniballHawtDawg…

      • PensPointsYourMom

        And I’m 100% ok with that. Personally I think the “Phil trade” talk is all just ginning up ratings for these schlubs in a summer where the Bucs are a living shit stain. Pirates go on a 5 game streak and all this stupid shit goes away real fast.

        • SouthSideGeno

          Agree again. I would HATE to see 81 go so soon…he is a great human and rare talent. Never get enough of that combination.

          I know they suck shit with a straw but actually, I haven’t been able to follow P baseball since the 90’s. Any team’s ownership who allows itself to go 21 straight seasons under 500% should have their franchise revoked. Fuk them and fuk MLB. Couldn’t care less.

          The Phil chatter is just that. Honestly, I’m surprised these so called experts aren’t trying to drum up clicks/listeners/readers by claiming that 87 & 71 are on the block as well.

          It would be another thing altogether if they hadn’t won…but with two in their pockets GMJR isn’t just gonna give away the Goose…not just yet. If nothing else they’re gonna give him one more year to see if they can score the Trifecta. Be kray not to.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Agree. Its all house money at this point.

          • Midnight Rider

            I’m about to add yinz both to dat list up der.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            what? You disapprove? Wanna talk about politics instead?

          • Midnight Rider

            Sub MacKinnon for Landeskog, and I probably think about it too. As for politics, no and no.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            That’s all I’m saying. There are situations in which a Kessel trade would be a good idea. Not gonna happen though.

          • SouthSideGeno

            WE cool.We both pledged our love to Philbert…but he’s 30…that a lot in Dawg years. If we could wrangle 2 20 something studs for him…I’d say (with a tear in my eye) DO IT!

  • SouthSideGeno
  • SouthSideGeno
    • Midnight Rider

      LOVE

    • j-b0t

      This is the best one yet. Far and away.

      • SouthSideGeno

        thanx b0t

  • Ungaba

    I really wish there were no such thing as left-wing vs. right-wing hockey.

    You people make me sad.

  • SouthSideGeno

    No splainen necessary…all vas jok.

    Maybe we can talk one or two of these Yinzers into hanging out with us Friday night in PGH???

  • lauriruu
  • Jovi

    not opposed as long as it’s the broadway version

  • Broken Coach Vlad

    Haven’t been around much, miss all ya whores. I am sure I’ll be drunk and bored in cancun next week and annoying all yinz.. in Vegas in 2 weeks, I might document getting paid at Bally’s when I turn in my ticket for the pens winning the cup. Then place a bet they three-peat.

    • Jovi

      Wow two trips, Cancun and Vegas! Which sugar daddy is putting you up?

      • Broken Coach Vlad

        Vegas is work, mostly

  • Broken Coach Vlad
    • Broken Coach Vlad

      I must say, as somebody who has designed and built 2 sets for this show, WTF is with that set…

    • lauriruu

      Woah. That’s impressive.

  • lauriruu
  • MoonStanley

    last day at work!

    • MoonStanley

      looks more like a drunken idiot rather than a professional hockey player

      • Lol

        • MoonStanley

          I couldn’t listen to the audio. does that help or hurt his cause?

          • I thought you were being sarcastic. They say “cut to pk subban having fun”

            What’s he supposed to do? Pull out a yoyo?

          • HawtDoge

            HOT TAKE ALERT!

            Other than his occasionally questionable on-ice antics…

            I like PK…

            *runs away*

          • Rad88

            I do too. And if he wore a Pens jersey the on-ice antics would suddenly take a back seat just like James Neals

          • Most of our fanbase (myself included at the time) adored Matt Cooke

          • Rad88

            precisely. In Major League II, “It’s amazing how a new uniform will change your feelings about a guy”

          • HawtDoge

            Yeah, hockey fans will forgive a lot if a player is wearing “their” colors…

          • lauriruu

            “I’m just here to have fun. Jeff, cut to PK Subban having fun. Cut back to the duck, also.”

            Missed a whole lot there.

          • MoonStanley

            WHAT?! I HATE FUN!! FEED HIM TO THE DOGS!

          • Rad88

            Henrik Lundqvist Fan as a screen name even during the offseason actually earns some respect from me

          • MoonStanley

            baby stuff!

          • MoonStanley

            what does this have to do with race?

          • I’ll always be convinced PK Subban hate, ESPECIALLY off the ice, is 100% racism. Dude is super cool and hilarious. There were people last year on here who hated on him for dressing well.

          • HawtDoge

            I don’t disagree with this.

          • MoonStanley

            100%? no… but definitely a percentage. I, honestly, don’t like him because he seems like an idiot and a distraction. He plays like a buffoon sometimes, and regularly acts like one. I’m not being “old and white” by thinking that. I think he’d rather fuck around than win Cups

          • That’s just wrong, though. He’s famously one of the best defenders in the league for a reason.

          • MoonStanley

            He has the skills and atheleticism, no doubt… but I don’t think he has enough discipline

          • Rad88

            I’m in the middle. I don’t think it’s 100% but it’s definitely over 70. I don’t think he would rather fuck around than win a cup, the best thing that happened to him was being traded. He matured a lot and was allowed to lead a team. The worst thing for him is it was to Nashville, a city that really ramps up is eccentric personality. Had he been traded to a team like Tampa or even Washington, where the team is good but the city isn’t known for partying, that would of been best in y opinion

          • MoonStanley

            Agreed. But, during the Finals, he was focused on Listerine and fucking with Crosby.

            He got beat a few times for big goals… He’s not focused on the right parts of the game.

          • Oh, you don’t like chirping in hockey? Ok, I didn’t know that, then

          • MoonStanley

            I like chirping when it works, not as a last resort

            Kevin Stevens. He chirped and played like a boss.

          • My point being that people find any reason to hate on him and I think that’s racism.

            Last year it was “look at how he dresses” when he’s wearing a snazzy purple suit. Then “Well he chirps players” as if all of our players don’t. You have the “well look what he did to a third line center 7 years ago” excuse, which is whatever in my opinion. The “he looks like a drunk guy” when he’s clearly (even with sound off) being a character for a show, and “look at how he celebrates goals” while we love Malkin’s silly pounding and Jagr’s salute shit.

            You take a white player and have him do anything Subban does and you’ll see it’s ignored or even celebrated, like BizNasty.

          • MoonStanley

            Bisnasty is a joke, as well, and he knows it. I know what you’re getting at with this, but you have to admit and see that the dislike for Subban is not 100% racism… like, at all

          • Ok ok, 80%

          • Rad88

            I will agree with this number

          • MoonStanley

            ditto

          • Rad88

            I agree. But when you’ve had Montreal to train you on how to focus on the right parts of the game…

          • MoonStanley

            Yeah, Montreal was definitely not a good atmosphere for him haha

          • Rad88

            It’s a lot like Schultz in a way. If you look at the careers of Schultz, Subban and Letang: only Letang had a true mentor for years as a teammate (Gonchar) that he later replaced. When you’re trying to learn everything off of people the same age as you and are put on the top line, it’s a bad recipe

          • MoonStanley

            Even Phil could be lumped into that. He was miserable until the Pens welcomed him in and gave him room to grow

          • Rad88

            I think the idea of professional level player development coaches is a big reason for the Penguins success. Especially on defense, but offensively too like with Phil and such. It wouldn’t surprise me to see a lot of teams start hiring ex players for developmental roles like the Pens have done

          • MoonStanley

            Definitely! Pens show a lot more familial traits than other teams. It’s obviously working

          • Schultz: drinks beer in the streets and is a huge meme re: alcohol, funny guy, hope we keep him forever

            Subban: exaggeratedly fakes drinking for a TV show and he’s a drunk joke

          • MoonStanley

            Win a Cup and you have some wiggle room. Why are you so defensive about all this? You’re trying to stir that pot up haha

          • HawtDoge

            While I agree that this is how it works, I think it’s bullshit. Double standards for behavior based on being a “winner” is why a friend of mine, who is definitely not me, spent a lot of time stuck in a locker with an atomic wedgie during high school. Everyone should be held to the same standard, or the standard should be moved… Or I’m full of shit… who knows anymore ๐Ÿ˜€

          • Rad88

            Thats why my highschool at 4 inch wide lockers

          • HawtDoge

            I… uh… my FRIEND wishes they would have made that upgrade at our school ๐Ÿ˜€
            (also, that never happened to me, but stuff like that did/does happen all the time and kids that are starters on their schools teams are given WAY more slack than the skate-punk goof-offs and other riffraff)

          • Cus it’s more fun than talking about nothing, more or less

          • MoonStanley

            touche! I don’t really read comments /r/hockey and the rest of the internet a lot, so I guess I’m not exposed to all those opinions as much. Glad you brought it up, tho. Good conversation

          • Rad88

            HIS NAME ISNT ETCHED FOR ETERNITY BRENDANNNN. That earns you everything! Gosh

          • HawtDoge

            Unless it worked and then erreyone would be talking about how he was able to get Crosby off his game.

          • MoonStanley

            buuuutttt. it didn’t work!

          • HawtDoge

            He’s a hockey player AND human being who also happens to have a personality he doesn’t hide from the media. He does A TON of charity work, and is widely know to be one of the hardest working guys in the league. In pretty much any other professional sport he would be considered “fun” and “an upstanding young man”. IMHO

          • MoonStanley

            We’re all fans and don’t actually know these guys… If I knew him personally, my opinion might change. From what I see out of him(NOT what people say about him), I think he’s kind of a joke with a great skillset

          • HawtDoge

            Agree to disagree ๐Ÿ˜€ I think this general sentiment has more to do with the atmosphere of the NHL in general than with PK specifically. The league is so antiseptic and devoid of personality and humor that it makes PK look like some wild, looney joke. He’s really not much a buffoon at all in the grand scheme of pro sports. Chad Johnson changed his last name to “Ochocino” for cripes sake, and he drove THIS to games… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/48ab8cbdedb9f6635ecf684bd07250669fe73538118dc3493151f0e3db2722d8.jpg

            Imagine if a hockey player did something like that. Seriously, imagine it. I don’t even think I can… ๐Ÿ˜€

          • Rad88

            Crosby: “from now on I want to be called OchoSiete”

          • MoonStanley

            I think the NFL is mostly full of joke players. But that’s just me. I probably wouldn’t enjoy seeing hockey turn into that garbage

          • Rad88

            I agree. I just think there is a borderline somewhere. The NHL lets you beat the shit out of someone, and then when you interview the players they say “we need to play the right way” a million times. It’s just odd that every player interviews the same to me

          • HawtDoge

            Totally agree, I guess I’m just trying to say if PK is one of the most flamboyant personalities in the league, we should all be thankful regardless of our personal opinions. I could stand to see a little more life out of these guys, but not NFL level hi-jinks. The day an NHL player shoots himself in the leg in a club and then goes to jail is the day I start to question what it is, exactly, that we’re doing here ๐Ÿ˜€

          • MoonStanley

            Agreed 100%! ๐Ÿ™‚

          • SouthSideGeno

            Plus…he’s the wrong color….Uniform!

          • Nolongermyrealname91

            I would consider this train of thought pretty racist/stereotypical itself

          • HawtDoge

            I couldn’t watch it at all… Is net neutrality over already? I thought I had a couple weeks at least…

          • HawtDoge

            It’s just Peyton singing the Nationwide song, so… neither? ๐Ÿ˜€

      • lauriruu

        That duk looked very much like a pro hawkey player.

        • MoonStanley

          Thank you. Someone gets me ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • MoonStanley

      Also, I wouldn’t expect much less from the guy who jumps on Crosby’s back like a child and yells “Hey, fuck you!”

  • lauriruu
  • MoonStanley

    why are all of Randy’s posts disappearing by the time I reply?

  • UlfSammySon
  • Rad88

    Since it is the middle of summer and not many are reading I’m letting yinz know… this season I am inventing a “source” that gives me inside details about Phil Kessel. I was going to write up a pot about it but with the family issues and all there wasn’t time.

    • Rad88

      My source has informed me that Phil is unhappy with the water in the players lounge because they only have Fiji and he prefers Dasani.

      • MoonStanley

        I heard he’s getting sponsored by Aquafina. I’ll let you know more as this develops

      • HawtDoge

        EW, Dasani!? Trade him… now.

        EDIT: Is it because it’s a coke product?

      • PensPointsYourMom

        That’s a lie. NOBODY prefers Dasani to Fiji

        • Rad88

          Don’t question my source, very, very good information from him

          • MoonStanley

            people are talking about this

      • SouthSideGeno

        Would have bet real muniez he’d have preferred Beaver Water.

  • Why does race have to be brought up in hockey? It makes me sad

    • MoonStanley

      Not enough diversity in the player pool yet? It will get better as more diverse people get into it

      Or maybe racists just suck dick cheese

    • HawtDoge
      • For real though I hope we ALWAYS talk about politics and race because if this blog didn’t go off topic we would be in the PensBlog land of 2-3 comments a post

        • MoonStanley

          **shudders**

    • Rad88

      Race will be brought up in everything for the rest of our lives unfortunately

      • I was parodying Ungaba because of the pattern of our/my comments

        • Rad88

          July 13th, 2017: Brendan awakes at the same time as he does every other day, but something feels different. Right before his left foot makes contact with the ground the thought screeches through his brain like lightning hitting a tree; “I’m going to stir the pot today” he thought, and as a wry smile crept across his face he planted both feet on the ground and proceeded to the bathroom where he would think about the ways he would achieve his goal.

          • Bam, 100 comments within a few hours.

            Lemme text Jason

          • Rad88

            You don’t even text me : (

          • MoonStanley

            WHO THE HELL IS JASON

          • MoonStanley

            “Phil Kessel is uncoachable”-who?

          • Ungaba

            How is this different from July 12th, exactly?

          • Rad88

            I wasn’t here

          • Ungaba

            Ok, great point.

    • Nolongermyrealname91

      There’s probably more important things in life to get sad about

    • SouthSideGeno

      Since your blawging about this shouldn’t it be E-race?

    • lauriruu
  • Rad88

    Man… IF i paid attention to the ESPYs and IF I cared to look into it, we could’ve done a spoof ESPYs awards for hockey only with fake categories. oh well too much work, I’m a bum

    • SouthSideGeno

      It’s the auff season. The frk-auff season.

  • Seeing the Gorillaz tonight. That’s all. That’s my comment

    • MoonStanley

      NEW POST, ABANDON SHIP!

      oh, wait

    • Rad88

      you bastard

      • I’m seeing them again a month later, lol

        • Rad88

          where?

          • Phi tonight and SF in a month for my “bachelor party”

          • Rad88

            Oh shit they are in NY on the 15th! Maybe I will go if that’s where I am moving to. Regardless, pretty jealous of you at the moment

          • I used to be obsessed with Damon Albarn growing up, had all of Blur’s CDs and his solo work, even dressed like him and stuff you do when you’re a teenager. Gunna be cool to see him in person for sure!

            The new Gorillaz album isn’t too bad, not a huge fan though

          • MoonStanley

            how do you feel about Song 2

          • Rad88

            WOO HOO

          • MoonStanley
          • Midnight Rider

            When I feel heavy metal

          • Ungaba

            Literally had no idea that they said that in that song. Wow. I need to get my hearing checked.

          • MoonStanley

            Blur, not the Gorillaz… to be clear

          • Ungaba

            I did know that much. Just never could understand the words.

          • MoonStanley

            i had no idea that it was a satire song, i’m with you on that

          • Ungaba

            …and now I just learned ANOTHER THING

          • lauriruu

            It’s hard to when you can’t work out the lyrics

          • It’s good for what it is, a parody of American 90s grunge, but I’m not some stadium rock lover pleb like jb0t who loves it

          • MoonStanley

            “igotcambochaaayyy”

            “igotmyheadshaved”

          • lauriruu

            What’s the definition of stadium rock?

          • lauriruu

            Never heard this at a stadium :/

          • Rad88

            BON JOVI

          • lauriruu

            That’s a band I think?

          • Rad88

            you asked for Stadium Rock Laรผrirรผรผ

          • Imagine Dragons

          • Ungaba

            Muse

          • Gary Glitter

          • MoonStanley

            LOL HEY!

          • HawtDoge

            TODAY, NO ONE IS SAFE FROM THE WRATH OF BLIMB!!!

    • lauriruu
    • Ungaba

      Awesome. I only know the standards – need to listen to more because I’ve enjoyed all that I’ve heard so far.

      • Check out Damon Albarn – Everyday Robots instead, Gorillaz are super hit/miss/hate, especially on first listen, but Everyday Robots is solid gold

        • Ungaba

          Will do!

  • HawtDoge

    Rock best best suited for massive stadium audiences, I guess?

    • Ungaba

      Metallica was great in giant stadiums. Guns n Roses too.

  • Rad88

    Arena rock (n): Songs that lack anything but really catchy sing-along parts that massive audiences (like those in a stadium) can sing along too. Example: Living on a prayer. Synonyms: Stadium Rock. Shit.

    • Ungaba

      Oh boo fucking hoo. It’s fun to sing along and rock out with 50,000 people, regardless of the ‘quality’ of the song.

      Buncha hipster dinguses in here…

      • HawtDoge

        Malcom Young is pretty much my hero. Getting 70,00 people to lose their minds with like 4 notes is a lot harder than you would think, I’ve tried…

        • Rad88

          Malcolm and Izzy Stradlin are the two reasons I started playing guitar and the two reasons I never wanted to learn lead

          • HawtDoge

            Same here! I also loved trying to figure out what the hell The Edge was doing on Achtung Baby. Why really learn how to play lead when you can have ALL THE PEDALS?!?!?

          • Rad88

            I haven’t seen the “It Might Get Loud” documentary with The Edge, Jack White and Jimmy Paige but I’ve seen clips and he explains his pedals and just fucking lost me.

          • Midnight Rider

            Good doc for Jack and Jimmy (I think it’s on the youtubes). Edge sucks though.

          • Ungaba

            He only needs one pedal – echo. And once he starts a song, he better not stop, because the guitar is going to do what it does. HATE his shit.

          • Midnight Rider

            We actually agree on something?!

          • Ungaba

            It happens more than you admit, ya know!

          • Rad88
          • Ungaba

            I can’t read all that stuff, but I’m pretty sure it means ‘lots of buttons to make up for little actual talent’.

          • HawtDoge

            Utilizing effects in a way that is compelling and creative IS a talent… so… ๐Ÿ˜€

          • Ungaba

            UGH, fine. But I appreciate guitar skillz more than pedal skillz. Deal?

          • HawtDoge

            That’s fine, erreybody’s gots preferences!

          • HawtDoge

            Also, I don’t have much actual raw guitar talent, so messing with pedals and creating “new”, “interesting” sounds kind of became my thing, thus also contributing to my defensiveness ๐Ÿ˜€

          • Ungaba

            I have just about zero talent. Yet I convinced my step-dad to buy me a Jackson Pro Soloist one year. I had a reverb pedal too. And a wah.

            And I pretty much gave it all away because I’m fucktarded.

          • HawtDoge

            At least you recognize it and are now able to work within those parameters ๐Ÿ˜€ (idk what the fug i’m saying, i’m real bored at work)

          • Ungaba

            I kept my Fender acoustic, but I never play it. So… I guess I’m actually just lazy.

          • HawtDoge

            I can’t make it to the game on the 18th anymore… BYYYYYYYEEEEEE

          • Ungaba

            YOU BASTARD. Dropping that down here like it’s nothing.

            I’ll remember this…

          • HawtDoge

            JK, JK… U2 is the reason I got into music in the first place, so I’m tender in my nostalgia bones in that region, be gentle ๐Ÿ˜€

          • Ungaba

            One of my favorite concerts EVER was Zoo TV back in… jeez, 92? In 3 Rivers Stadium. Achtung Baby is one of my favorite albums, too.

            Just not a fan of the …. Edge work…

          • HawtDoge

            Hehehe… edge work…

          • Ungaba

            And to be clear, I do like the sound. But I’m not that impressed by his skill, that’s all. I wouldn’t consider him an ‘all-time great’ guitarist, by any measure.

          • HawtDoge

            No, not at all, based on technical skill. One of the most influential guitarists? I would say that’s no question, but not because of his basic guitar playing skillz

          • HawtDoge

            It’s interesting to hear that… it’s not a position I would have thought possible. Funny how different braimbs work!

          • Rad88

            I always thought he was an odd third person. But when Jimmy starts playing the riff to Whole Lotta Love and you can see the little boy admiration on both of their faces, pretty cool moment

          • Midnight Rider

            Jack teaching Jimmy Seven Nation Army was awesome for the same reason

          • Rad88

            and that story about Jacks friend saying the riff to Seven Nation was “meh and probably not worth exploring” haha

          • Ungaba

            Dammit, I need to watch this immediately.

          • HawtDoge

            Hahaha, yeah, I liked that documentary, but you can tell he’s in a whole different world than Jack and Jimmy, he was having problems playing some basic blues riffs and stuff. I personally LOVE pedals, and if i had my druthers would have a giant room full of them just like Edge

          • Rad88

            I used to have about 9 pedals. Now I’m just a wah user for the most part. I got a Spider III head unit though without the pedal board and playing with the FX on that is pretty fun I will admit

      • Rad88

        Just explaining the genre man, damn. People like it so let them have fun. I just hate that Bon Jovi gets into the same discussion as Guns N roses, Aerosmith, etc. thats all.

        • Ungaba

          If someone told me that I could have free drugs and booze and backstage access and maybe even some strange, I would STILL refuse to attend a Bon Jovi concert.

          For the record.

          • Rad88

            Then we are on the same page when it comes to him.

          • MoonStanley

            Amen

  • Randy

    Aww crap. Moonstanley alerted me to fact my frk’n posts are showing up again. To summarize: Doge’s dad knows “crop dusting” really means he is on the drugs; Jovi is slut shaming Vlad (and rightly so); the aforementioned slothy one set a fairly long winded that’s-what-she-said joke; and PPyM is back at it with his oddball genitalia prosthetics.

    Seems like a fairly typical day on VVVVV.pens.hockey.

    • HawtDoge

      CONSUMMATE V’s!!!

      • Randy

        The joogle has told me that is something to do with strongbad. Correct?

        • HawtDoge

          DING DING DING!!!

    • Ungaba

      Thanks for the recap! I don’t have time to scroll through everything.

      Tell me – have we discussed Trump yet today?

      • HawtDoge

        Who?

        • MoonStanley

          That guy who colluded with Russia to beat Crooked Hillary. He’s our “president”

          • Midnight Rider

            abort abort abort

          • Ungaba

            Too late! Also, Blawgczar is asking for it. Literally.

            I just enjoy the fact that the Dems just LOVED Russian intel when Trump was running for office, but now it’s treason.

          • MoonStanley

            A spade is a spade

          • Midnight Rider

            So rassis

          • MoonStanley

            lock me up! #madlads

          • HawtDoge

            Can we all agree that polly-ticks suck and the system is broken and welcome to Costco, I luv U?

          • MoonStanley

            SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!

            THE DEMS VS THE GOP

            PICK YOUR SIDE.

            CHOOSE YOUR WEAPONS.

            WE’RE GOING TO FUCK SHIT UP.

          • Randy

            Ron: Brick. Where did you get a hand grenade?
            Brick: I don’t know.

          • Ungaba

            No fair. It’d be me and maybe one other person against the rest of the damn blawg. I’d need a nuke for it to be fair.

          • MoonStanley

            Lol I’d feel better if you had those codes rather than a certain someone else.

            but seriously now, picking sides is bullshit. Call the bullshit on all sides. D VS R is stupid. It should be D & R.

            WORK TOGETHER!

          • Ungaba

            Hahahahahhahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahahhahahahahhahahha

            HAHAHAHHAhhahhahahahhahahhahahahhahahha

            Ha.

            Hee hee.

            This may be your funniest post ever. But yeah, it would be neat-o if they’d work together.

          • MoonStanley

            Calling out all the bullshit instead of picking sides is funny to you? Must be a republican ๐Ÿ˜‰

          • Ungaba

            Don’t get so defensive. The funny part is thinking it can/will happen.

          • MoonStanley

            I’m not defensive. I’m neutral. That is how a lot of republicans think.

          • Ungaba

            “insert eye roll gif here”

          • HawtDoge
          • MoonStanley

            you’re pretty defensive despite accusing me of it. do you consider yourself a republican or something?

          • Ungaba

            “re-insert eye roll gif”

          • MoonStanley

            I’ll take that as a yes.

          • Ungaba

            I’m a Libertarian. I want the gov’t to leave me the frk alone.

            I’m only annoyed because of your implication that it is only republicans that don’t want to work with the democrats.

          • MoonStanley

            what implication? you don’t read very well sometimes

            because i put the D before the R?

          • Ungaba

            Then what are you saying here ?https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/93caaff49a66596d82ec45d0e66057f6f62d8c25032d3e0d9872a15eaf3160c6.jpg

            I took that to mean that ‘lots of republicans don’t feel that the two sides can work together’?

          • MoonStanley

            because you routinely side with republican standards?

          • HawtDoge

            I think the real issue here is, why hasn’t NASA invented a blow-jay mashine yet? Tang and Velcro are pretty cool, but come on already…

          • Randy

            At least a Time Musheen. Come on!

          • Ungaba

            Look, you go from ‘fun poke about politics’ to being a dick in about 3 comments. I don’t understand where this is coming from.

            Your suggestion that the two sides should work together got a laugh from me because it’s obviously not something that can happen. And then YOU made it into some bullshit about me being a republican. I don’t know why you felt the need to do that.

          • Randy

            Paging Lauriruu. Paging Lauriruu. Need those Dr. Evil Gifs. Stat.

          • MoonStanley

            I went back in time to an old post and was reading comments from 2 year ago and responding to those…. just joshin

            I don’t fucking know man, you’re hard to talk to about this without getting annoyed… even when I was only joking, you get attitudey about the whole thing. I got no excuses.

            fuck the bullshit!

          • Ungaba

            Fuck the bullshit, sure.

            But no ill-will was meant with my ‘laughing’ comment. I’m jaded with politics, not annoyed with the Sloth Man. Well, I wasn’t annoyed at that point at least. ๐Ÿ™‚

            Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled silliness…

          • MoonStanley

            annoy this!

          • Ungaba

            Is that a challenge? Because I can win that challenge purt quick.

            <3 you man. Honest.

          • HawtDoge

            Sloths are… I can’t do it, i was gonna say something bad about sloths. They can be dicks, but that’s a universal condition not contained to any one species…

          • HawtDoge

            Ung, I also find that laughable for the record. If we weren’t on opposite sides of the spectrum as to our opinion of the role of government we would practically be TWINS. I lurv you.

            Moonie, I think what we have here is a failure to communicate. The lack of tone in text based conversation leads to all kinds of misunderstandings and whatnot. I lurv you too.

            Now both of you literally kiss and make up… lemme get my camera…

          • MoonStanley

            i try to find reasons to come together, and get laughed at. so why should i bother

          • HawtDoge

            I think we ALL would appreciate a govment that actually worked. Also that blowie machine I was talkin bout’…

          • Ungaba

            So… we’re BOTH pretty?

          • HawtDoge

            Combined, you both make a very solid 7 ;D

          • Ungaba

            Also proof that politics sucks to talk about.

            I used to actually be passionate about this stuff. Now I’m only mildly involved and it still raises my BP to dangerous levels.

          • HawtDoge

            Yeah, there’s a large portion of me that wants to become very politically active, but then I start to think about the toll it would take on me personally and emotionally and I just can’t do it. Call me it cop out or whatever, but I only get one life, and there are people all around me that I care about that I would rather spend my time and energy with. I don’t know how the real ideologues in politics do it. I guess that’s why it seems government of all levels is infested with people that seemingly have little to no values of their own. Maybe it’s just too hard. hehehehe… too hard…

            WHEW! I almost made myself depressed there…

          • Ungaba

            Very well said.

          • HawtDoge

            Thanks. AND I’M A SOCIALIST KIND OF! MOMENT RUINED! ๐Ÿ˜›

          • Ungaba

            It’s a great idea, just completely implausible. Too many humans suck.

            And now I’m running away from politics in here.

          • HawtDoge

            Hahaha, yeah, that’s why I said “kind of” ๐Ÿ˜€

            It’s like that blowie machine, sounds great in theory but it would probably rip my dik off and go on a murder spree.

            Someday we’ll live in Star Trek and it’ll be dope. And then we can be rassis against Klingons…

          • HawtDoge
          • MoonStanley

            talking to Ung about politics like…

          • Ungaba

            You do appreciate the irony of this statement, right?

          • MoonStanley

            your mother?

          • Randy

            Do you think Dwayne “teh rock” Johnson can get erreyone on the same page?

          • HawtDoge

            Dad, stop…

          • Ungaba

            I’d vote for him.

          • HawtDoge

            I can’t say I definitively wouldn’t?

          • lauriruu
          • HawtDoge

            ALERT! BEATLES TREND DETECTED! ENHANCE!
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCtzkaL2t_Y

          • lauriruu

            My fav Beatles song
            https://youtu.be/4Vm7lQ3EheY

          • Rad88

            Tomorrow Never Knows is probably my favorite.Don’t know why, but I love that song

          • HawtDoge

            I have a soft spot for dis, but not sure if i would call it my favorite, too hard to pick…
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usNsCeOV4GM

          • lauriruu

            That’s a great one ๐Ÿ™‚

          • lauriruu

            Pssst I’m on your side!

          • MoonStanley
          • Randy

            I knew he was actually Swiss.

          • lauriruu

            There’s a word for it: Finlandization

          • Randy

            I didn’t know such a word existed. Cool. Thank Murray for Wikipedia.

          • lauriruu

            I’m on your side!

          • I’m pretty sure pih and ggb are on “your side”

            It’s better to not take sides and make up your mind, and change your mind based on Intel though ๐Ÿ™‚

          • Ungaba

            Is this another related to the Trump Jr. meeting or me? I’m confused.

          • HawtDoge

            SPONSORED BY BRAWNDO, THE THIRST MUTILATOR!!!

          • Randy

            Home of the.. BIG ASS FRIES

          • Randy

            TRADE MALKIN!!!

          • MoonStanley

            Kessel isn’t happy

          • Randy

            I just find it odd that an American and Russian can work so well together to defeat Subban. Hmmm..

          • Ungaba

            Kanaduns, too!

          • Randy

            Subban is Kanadun, and our PM is a cuck (according to someone).

          • MoonStanley

            I’d cuck him

          • Randy

            Cuck him right in the canuck!

          • MoonStanley

            Who said that? Was that me?

            http://i.imgur.com/f5wINmh.gif

      • MoonStanley
        • Jovi

          LOL

      • Rad88

        We discussed your mom trumping deez nuts

      • lauriruu

        I can’t dish out these Dr. Evil hug gifs endlessly Ung!?

        • Randy

          Yes you can, and I think I speak for all of us.. please, dish them out endlessly.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      ….odd ball? Trade Kessel!

      • Randy

        You think that’ll get us back to even ball?

        • PensPointsYourMom

          I have no idea what the nut count in the room is. Though I suspect Sid and Geno each have 3.

          • Randy

            Ah yes the two headed monster with the half dozen cajones.

          • Jovi

            wait, what?
            where’s the 4th ball?

    • Broken Coach Vlad

      How am I being slut shamed?

      • Randy

        Jovi was asking about your sugar daddy.

  • Ungaba

    Oh boy… Geno, time to re-think the Fin visit. Again.

    Cannibalism I can understand. Hating GnR though???

  • Rad88

    Our first disagreement in music, Fin. Their breakdown and transition in a song like Rocket Queen is so underrated thanks to their other radio hits, but things like that separate them form Bon Jovi and the like. Unfortunately they became too popular for their other tunes

    • lauriruu

      I think it’s mostly Axl Rose who I have problem with.

      • Rad88

        That’s generally the case, he’s nuts.

        • MoonStanley

          gotta be the headbands

      • lauriruu

        …and crimes against Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door.

        • Ungaba

          OK, THIS is fair. Hate their version with a passion.

        • Rad88

          Agree. Horrible cover. Their Live and Let Die is a great cover. KOHD is awful

  • lauriruu
  • PenguinPelts

    Have you guys covered the Pens re-signing Archibald and Pouliot yet?

    Also, based on below: The Beatles suck.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      yeah, sort of. There’s not much to cover, except that they were re-signed.

      • Ungaba

        800k for Pooh. I was mildly surprised he didn’t get less.

        • PenguinPelts

          Based on what Rutherford said a few weeks ago about, I bet he had a nice talk with the kid about this being the last chance kind of thing.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          Meh. League minimum is 650. Its not a discernible difference (in hockey dollars)

          • HawtDoge

            cost of living increase ๐Ÿ˜€

          • Ungaba

            …I did say ‘mildly’…

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I didn’t say you were wrong to be surprised.

    • lauriruu
  • Ungaba

    Once again, politics breaks the damn blog.

    Great idea, brenblimb. We should stick to less controversial topics like dwarf tossing and Furries.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    GMJR coming up on the fan.

    • lauriruu

      Eww.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        On Staal “To my knowledge he’s not available”

        • PensPointsYourMom

          “There’s centers right now that I can make trades for if I wanted to do it today. There’s other guys that may become available that are higher up on our list.”

          • PensPointsYourMom

            In around the 2mil dollar area for a 3C

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Niemi capable of playing 30-40 good games. Recognizes going into playoffs with a fresh goalie is important.

          • HawtDoge

            Thank you for the live report

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Tocchet did a good job with Phil, and other players. Recchi has worked with Phil too. Phil is an important. Points goals etc. “The more impact players you have, the better your chance of winning.” “I don’t want to sit here and say some player’s not going to get traded at some point in his career…but that not something I forsee happening right now.”

            Wont get into Maatta

          • Randy

            Because Maatta was more of an impacted player.

          • HawtDoge

            like an impacted tooth?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            He was asked if Maatta was on the trade block, and he said he wouldn’t get into it. Said something like other GM’s ask me about all our players. That says to me Maatta is on the trade block, because if he wasn’t GMJR would say what he said about Kessel, i.e. “not impossible, but not likely either”

          • HawtDoge

            Yeah, makes sense

          • Ungaba

            Yeah, that comment is the most revealing by far. Interesting…

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Not really looking for more physical players (thank gawd). Didn’t get Reaves to come fight every game, but he will be there if the nonsense continues. Players are thankful that pens got Reaves.

          • Ungaba

            Is Ron Cook asking questions too?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I dont know who these turds are

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Cullen working out and says he feels good. Still taking time.
            Mike Fisher doesnt sound like an option.

          • Ungaba

            One is definitely Andrew Filiponi. He’s the younger one and sounds a little pompous but he’s generally good at his job on that show.

          • HawtDoge

            Yeah, the other one is Cook
            (EDIT: Unless someone is filling in)

          • HawtDoge

            he said goodbye to GMJR like I say goodbye to my 94 year old grandma…

          • Ungaba

            See above. He’s the ‘Grumpy Ugly Sweater Guy’…

          • HawtDoge

            Hahaha, yeah, I figured that out by process of elimination ๐Ÿ˜€

          • Ungaba

            Sometimes he takes the day off, so I wasn’t sure who was doing the interviewing. Also, I can’t listen, so I wasn’t sure.

          • HawtDoge

            Gotcha, yeah, he sounded older and grump, and I believe I heard a faint sweater rustle. Just caught the very end.

          • Ungaba

            …which explains why GMJR came on the show. To put a plug in Cook’s fucktarded suggestion that the Pens would be trading Kessel.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            he shut it down as much as he could I thought.

          • Ungaba

            Good. Fuck Cook for making GMJR have to do this.

            But ya know, we just got some more discussion fodder, so that’s fun…

          • HawtDoge

            Olli… Maa.. Maa… Maa-not-gonna-play-here-no-more….

          • PenguinPelts

            Filiponi thinks because he’s on the radio in Pittsburgh he’s heard around the world and acts like so as well. Fuck that guy too.

          • Ungaba

            We should talk about The Fan more on here – I like when Pelts gets revved up.

          • PenguinPelts

            Pompeani too. Fuck that guy. Guy probably does yoga just to try and suck his own dick. Plus now thanks to his nepotism we have to look at his parrot faced daughter and her tacky as fuck wardrobe on Pens TV.

          • HawtDoge

            Selena is like nails on a chalkboard to me. STOP TRYING SO HARD. #sessist

          • PenguinPelts

            Oh she’s fucking awful. But hey, she worked three months as an intern in middle of nowhere Ohio, so yes, she is super qualified for an NHL team gig.

          • PenguinPelts

            I only liked Mueller and Starkey. I hung out with Starkey quite a bit, and Mueller gave me the best compliment ever: that he could see me stabbing someone and laughing about it afterward.

          • Ungaba

            I definitely enjoy Starkey the most.

          • SouthSideGeno

            They want to see if Ollie can finally put together a full season while healthy.
            I’m really hoping that ma Butters can get hard again.

        • lauriruu

          Followed with a subtle wink

      • Randy

        So now it’s going to get all hot and the broken fan is gonna smell like burnt him paste.

  • HawtDoge

    I was all, “where is erreybody?” and then realizerd it’s lunchtime

  • HawtDoge
    • Ungaba

      I just don’t care about her. Or her dad. Neither of them effected my enjoyment of watching the Pens play.

      Paul, on the other hand…

      • lauriruu

        What about Paul?

        • Ungaba

          He directly impacted my enjoyment of watching the games. I continuously complained about listening to him. I’m SOOOOOOOOO happy he’s gone.

    • Broken Coach Vlad

      I kinda think she is kinda. hot..

  • Reaves is a corrupt shill

    • Ungaba

      Huh?

    • lauriruu

      Need a hug?

    • PenguinPelts

      No one knows what you’re talking about.

      • SouthSideGeno

        I got it

    • HawtDoge

      I think this is crossover political satire?

  • Dude payday bars are filling. 440 calories??

    • Ungaba

      Not enough chocolate involved. Snickers ftw.

      • I kind of agree, it’s really boring half way through

        • Ungaba

          Take 5 are great too.

          And I go off on a Twizzlers rampage once or twice a year.

          • Twizzlers are worse than Jordan staal

          • Ungaba

            YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH RIGHT NOW!!!!

          • SouthSideGeno

            They used to be really good, now they suck…I’d go as far to say the TK of candy.

        • lauriruu

          Can’t you agree on ANYTHING?

          • YOURE REPLYING TO SOMETHING IN WHICH I SAID I AGREE

          • lauriruu

            Kind of

  • Why do people line up to get on planes before the boarding numbers are called?

    • Ungaba

      For me, it’s to make sure I have overhead space for my carry-on. I travel every damn week (leaving for the Philly airport in 15 mins, actually) and I never check a bag. That’s critical to my ability to travel efficiently.

      • Maybe I’ll see you in the Philly airport

        • Ungaba

          I’m very likely getting on the plane that you are getting off of…

          • Are you leaving from Philly or to Philly?

          • Ungaba

            From Philly, back to da Burgh. Those planes usually just go back and forth all day long.

            I’m presuming you’re leaving from PIT?

          • Yeah, American airlines?

          • Ungaba

            Only game in town!

            When do you land? Wanna make this extra awkward and practice your social skills???

          • I think 2:30

          • Ungaba

            OK, so it’ll be a different plane. But I will be at the airport by then.

            You and the fiance coming in?

          • Yeah, I’ll stop by for an awkward photo

          • Ungaba

            BLOG FODDER!!!

            You have my email address I think. Send me an email and we can arrange it.

          • Ungaba

            So I’m just going to go wait at your gate and give you a BIGGGGGGGG hug.

          • How do you know it’s not the same gate?

          • SouthSideGeno

            The same gay-t …not that there’s anything wrong with that.

          • Jovi

            don’t be lame, grab dat ass.

          • Jovi

            Yes, awkward photos!!!!!

          • lauriruu

            I demand hover hands!

          • Jovi
    • HawtDoge

      One of my biggest pet peaves

    • Jovi

      Its the Rat race.
      Though honestly, I usually do it if I think they’re gonna run out of over-head spots.

    • SouthSideGeno

      I always wait to be the last person boarding. Never have a carry on so why sit on a crowded plane for 30 minutes before take off…YA DUMB MUTHAFAAHKAS

  • Ungaba

    Murray Christ, I need to lose weight. But to do that, I need to stop drinking so much, eat better, and exercise. I don’t like any of those things.

    Suggestions?

    • My fiance lost like 20 lbs on no carb diet for two months.

      I lost like 15 lbs with depression

      • Ungaba

        OK, so I think if I get back into politics, that may do it.

        Or maybe I’ll die.

        • HawtDoge

          You only lose 21 grams with that second plan :/

      • PenguinPelts

        Another fella broke your heart huh?

    • Jovi

      Pay someone to kidnap you for a week and lock you in a port-o-potty. Not only will you eat less but the sweating will help you shed more weight. You can get 2 bottles of water and 1 meal of oats per day. What da ya say?

    • lauriruu

      Get an exercise bike –> watch your favourite tv shows/porn while cycling. 30-60 minutes for a few times a week.

      • HawtDoge

        Ride and exercise bike with a RHD? no thanks…

        • lauriruu

          In that case you should watch a movie erreytime you exercise.

          • HawtDoge

            I need to watch Ben Hur like 40x in a row ๐Ÿ˜€ … I should lose like 50, i’d be happy with 25

    • SouthSideGeno

      Line up a hooker or two for errey night of the week. Sex burns calories and gets rid of ESB…which can really weigh on ya.

      • Jovi

        Tuberculosis burns calories too. 2 for 1.

        • SouthSideGeno

          Right…oh, and UNG get yerself plenty of nose candy…that REALLY is the best diet in the universe.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Cocaine is a hell of a drug

      • SouthSideGeno

        Great minds…best appetite suppresser in the verse

  • MoonStanley

    ~2 hours remaining

    • Jovi

      Till what?

      • MoonStanley

        it’s my last day at work

        • Jovi

          Oh, nice. Congrats.
          Don’t forget your stapler.

        • SouthSideGeno

          How much time off before you start duct taping wombats in the Smokies?

        • Broken Coach Vlad

          are you retiring or just moving on?

          • MoonStanley

            kinda both

          • HawtDoge

            you are my hero, keep being you! (unless you can be batman, cause, ya know… come on)

          • MoonStanley

            Will Arnett version is praccccctically me already ๐Ÿ˜‰

            thanks man

        • Ungaba

          Congrats, Moonman, and good luck out west!

          I hope there are no hard feelings.

          • MoonStanley

            thank you… i hate that i like you sometimes ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • SouthSideGeno

    Hipster looking black dude on trial for Heroine possession….they cut this old white guy loose…SHOCKER!

    They picked 14 jurors and all but two were women and only one black person.
    Still trying to figure that ‘jury of yer peers’ shiz???

    • Jovi

      what are you watching? what case is this?

    • j-b0t

      Guess how many persons of color were in the selection POOL at my jury duty.

      I’ll give you a hint, it’s not a non-zero number.

      • SouthSideGeno

        negative 7?

  • PensPointsYourMom
    • PenguinPelts

      You love that Ryan Wilson. Too bad he wasn’t paying attention three days ago when the Stars gave Faksa a new contract.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        His article about Faksa pre-dated the contract. And I don’t think Faksa is off the table. DAL is deep at center, and in cap trouble. I like Wilson, he breaks shit down in a reasonable way. Your mom likes him too.

    • SouthSideGeno

      I read that yesterday and wanted to post it but after I closed the friggin link I couldn’t recall where it was…TY

      This is what we were so astutely discussing last night…we are gene-u-sez

      • PenguinPelts

        The only real argument for trading Kessel is that he barely broke 20 goals this season, and Cook was right that you can’t be a sniper and only score 20 goals playing with two of the best in the league. Of course, all of these ideas of trading him are based on Kessel not talking to them during a media scrum.

        • SouthSideGeno

          It would be stoopid to trade him after winning two ‘chalices’ B2B.
          Plus he’s a folk hero…roun these here parts!

          (next year maybe if he punks out)

  • Ungaba

    Update: sitting across from Blawgczar’s arrival gate eating a chicken cheesesteak from Chickie and Petes. I even have a present for him!

  • Ungaba

    Plane in. He’s gonna hate this!

    • SouthSideGeno

      Oh man…you should get video and post it later.

      • Jovi

        I love it when Tinder brings people together

        • SouthSideGeno

          You didn’t spell Grinder right

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Reason #236 why you don’t tell your internet friends anything personal.

          • lauriruu

            You might meet them? (Stalked by Ung)

          • PensPointsYourMom

            The might stalk you at an airport gate with a “gift”

          • Jovi

            I wish you were more like your mom, she never complains about my ‘gifts’

          • lauriruu

            Gift means poison in Swedish FYI FWIW.

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            German too, that is why the cyclon B containers said “Gift Gas”, so they gave their victims Das Gift.

          • lauriruu

            And interestingly ‘marriage’ too… (In Swedish)

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            oh god.. I am of German decent and I married a Jew of Polish and Russian decent.. so.. that brings a different meaning to it..

          • PensPointsYourMom
          • HawtDoge

            You know the U.S. used zyklon B to “delouse” migrant day laborers along the Mexican border in the 20s and that it was widely praised in Germany where eugenics (also a U.S. export) was beginning to become very popular? I just learned about that this morning D:

          • SouthSideGeno

            In yer Hitler Youth class?

          • HawtDoge

            A podcast called The Dollop

          • SouthSideGeno

            you spelled MEAT wrong

          • Jovi

            True.
            Airport quickie.

  • lauriruu
  • Ungaba

    Delightfully awkward! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dc60f242fbb5a0b2adf1959c0618f0ecefa71ba1c3ac91142a9118f0c0093bb0.jpg

    And I’m not going to reveal any details, but he’s punching above his weight class with that future wife of his. Pretty AND nice! I know, I know… I didn’t expect it either!

    Also, he’s holding the Snickers I gave him.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      abort. abort. abort.

      • Ungaba

        Scaredy nerd.

    • Jovi

      By far the best episode of CatFish ever

      • Ungaba

        Nicely done!

    • SouthSideGeno

      Want some candy lil boy?

    • j-b0t

      This is terrifying.

      • Jovi

        advert thy eyes, Bot

      • Ungaba

        My smile is creepy, I know.

      • Ungaba

        Also, we’ve seen you too, ya know.

      • SouthSideGeno

        This proves it…we’re in the “End of Days” … POTUS, Global Warming…now this

    • I agree, I’m definitely punching above my weight class. Thanks for the Snickers, just finished them, will be plotting for a better gift for you in November since I’m a better person than you because I’m a democrat

      • Broken Coach Vlad

        wait wait wait.. there is a Republican in philly? I didn’t know they existed.. I just assumed that side of the state was all Pinko…

        • Ungaba

          (I was just visiting)

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            ahhhh ships passing at the airport.

          • Ungaba

            Yeah, I really do try NOT to stalk. Honest.

          • lauriruu

            Quick in and out?

          • Ungaba

            Took me about a week. Been working on my stamina with your mom.

          • lauriruu

            She’s been exhausted, she told me.

        • Yes and his hair is beautiful

          • MoonStanley

            that middle part…

          • Ungaba

            You should see it when I part it on the other side. Comes with a cardigan.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Perry ComUNG?

          • MoonStanley

            lol nice

    • Broken Coach Vlad
    • SouthSideGeno

      OH MAN AM I EVER GONNA FUK WITH YOU TWO IN PHOTOSHOP

    • MoonStanley

      Great stuff!

  • The66thDopefish

    While I’m thrilled that I see an NHL ’94 gif up there, this blog has been turned upside down since the last time I was here. Ungaba and Brendan, getting along? Derrick Pouliot re-signed? Politics are no longer verboten? WHAT IS GOING ON

  • The66thDopefish

    THEY FINALLY CRACKED FIFA 17 yesssssssss

    • lauriruu

      U play FIFA?!

      • The66thDopefish

        I was a longtime WE/PES player until Konami stopped using the latest engine around PES 2015, at which point I switched to FIFA, but I’ve been stuck on FIFA 15 since they haven’t been able to crack the DRM on it.

        (Long story short: I’m a cheap fuck who doesn’t want to pay $60 for a slightly updated game every year)

        • Ungaba

          NERD!!!!!!!

          • The66thDopefish

            There was never any dispute

          • Ungaba

            Play your games while you still can, new Dad. Your days of ‘fun by yourself’ are numbered.

  • SouthSideGeno
  • lauriruu
    • Jovi

      looks like horny from this angle

      • lauriruu

        How can you tell that from this?

        • Jovi

          the hair and calves.

        • SouthSideGeno

          Ummm, the numbers and the name on the sherzey???

          • Jovi

            i’m just talking about looks. first glance and all.

          • SouthSideGeno

            So you’re thinking he looks horny?

            (how was that Lauriruu?)

          • lauriruu

            The hair on calves is a dead giveaway?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Some people are Mooooooved that way

          • Jovi

            more the size

          • lauriruu

            Mmmm dem big hairs…

          • Jovi

            big legs. why are we talking about hairs?

          • SouthSideGeno

            WARNING: Step away from the FIN…he may go off at any moment

          • lauriruu
          • SouthSideGeno

            That is a frk-ton of bull milk

          • lauriruu

            Took it by the horn… Suddenly frk-ton of milk.

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            himpaste

          • lauriruu

            Language barrier. Braimb damage.

      • SouthSideGeno

        At first I thought it was Olli…hahaha

      • Penguin in Houston

        I thought that too.

  • SouthSideGeno
    • Penguin in Houston

      Now I see!

      • MoonStanley

        This is great haha

  • SouthSideGeno
    • SouthSideGeno

      WTF…yinz doan like the Queen????

      : (

      • lauriruu

        Sry… I was punning so intensively that I overlooked this marvel of art.

        • SouthSideGeno

          Maybe I should have had him banging her?

          • lauriruu

            Probably. That was my first thought.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Mmmmmm….royal tiddys

    • Penguin in Houston

      Awesome!

  • lauriruu
    • SouthSideGeno

      WOW…retired..Now I really feel old.

      I was always on the ‘Ference’ about his talent level : /

      • lauriruu

        I used to watch that sitcom called Fโ€ขEโ€ขRโ€ขEโ€ขNโ€ขCโ€ขE

        • SouthSideGeno

          I had a zit on my chin the other day…but I didn’t wanna picket

    • Penguin in Houston

      Somebody vomited jello shots.

  • SouthSideGeno

    OH FRK ME…hahaha, sorry..my braimb is slow as molasses today..working on 3.5 hrs sleep

  • Jovi

    Is this new or old? Where was Geno’s wife to do his hair?

    https://twitter.com/penguins/status/885590808644268032

    • SouthSideGeno

      That’s hair? I always thought that was some sort of small, matted woodland creature.

      • lauriruu

        Such a hannysome quartet!

    • lauriruu

      Seriously… That’s a legendarily good pic.

  • SouthSideGeno
    • lauriruu

      Thank you, Unkle. This is the bestest.

    • lauriruu

      Cullen retirement confirmed?

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Far from it.

        • lauriruu

          Czar is just wearing Cully’s jersey then. Cool.

    • MoonStanley

      Thank you for being you

    • Penguin in Houston

      Schultzy needs to be shopped in (behind the Cup).

      • SouthSideGeno

        Sush…where’s that updated pick of you full frontal?

        I’ll wait right here….

        • MoonStanley

          Updated? Wheres the original in the meantime!

          • SouthSideGeno

            Well she posted one a few days ago and her face was half cut off

          • MoonStanley

            Oh mama!

  • SouthSideGeno
    • lauriruu

      #Blawglitics

      • SouthSideGeno

        I think they might be ‘cupping’ each other…

        • lauriruu

          Where is Trungmp’s right hand?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Cupping Stanley?

    • This is actually perfect

      • SouthSideGeno

        like even down to the hand gestures, right? I couldn’t have scripted it better…HAHA!

    • Ungaba

      Perfect!!!

    • Jovi

      you fixed the ‘four’

      • SouthSideGeno

        All 4 U…All 4 U…All 4 U…braimbs need braimbs

  • For real though it was a pleasure meeting @ungabaintrepid:disqus , he was way too nice to wait for me and buy me Snickers (lol), and man that is a bad photo of me

    • Penguin in Houston

      What are you talking about?

      • MoonStanley

        The picture down below. They were both at an airport in Philly, and Ung waited a bit so they could meet and feed the ducks.

        Heartwarming!

        • SouthSideGeno

          They were distributing literature, in the most manly way, at the PHL

          • MoonStanley

            Chanting HIMPASTE! HIMPASTE!

        • Penguin in Houston

          Awwwww
          (Violins playing)

          • SouthSideGeno

            hahaha

    • SouthSideGeno

      It was just so badly backlit…I couldn’t get it much better in PS

    • Ungaba

      The pleasure was mine. It’s a good reminder that we really are real people and, no matter how different we are, we are bonded by the Penguins.

      I mean, a crazy dude from Finland is road tripping with Unkel Geno, whom he’s never met, just to go watch a sporting event in Pittsburgh! And it’s awesome!

      Enjoy Gorillaz. I will go find that other dudes music you posted tomorrow.

  • MoonStanley

    I have to start my training ASAP. Good thing I got these awesome exercise videos

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYRDY0xuruY

    • SouthSideGeno

      hahaha…that music fitz purfect

    • Broken Coach Vlad

      didn’t think you where that old.. figured you where like 30s..

      • MoonStanley

        I am joking haha. I am 30s. I didn’t mean to agree to the “retiring” part so much earlier.

        But I am changing careers basically. Sorry for the confusion

        • Broken Coach Vlad

          no problem, may I ask what is your new career? if its SSG’s assist, I would rethink that position or positions.

          • MoonStanley

            Lol a 4 month internship with the National Park Service! I’m not qualified enough to be his assistant yet

          • SouthSideGeno

            10-20 taped wombats…you’ll be right there…we’re counting on you

  • Broken Coach Vlad

    It funny how we are what… a month after winning the cup and still pulling a 1000 comments on a post..

    • Penguin in Houston

      Cuz we get about a post a week. Lol

      • Broken Coach Vlad

        yea, but the past 2 days, when I go to read back after even a few hours, its just a few hundred posts

    • Randy

      Anytime you sign a guy like Poo for 8 hundge, you’re gonna get comments. Lots of them.

    • Ungaba

      And it’s probably the worst post ever on this blog, too.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Nonsense. #JasonIrvingExperience

        • lauriruu

          Yes. This.

        • Jovi

          where is that guy?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I thought it was Rad or Brendan trolling us.

          • Jovi

            don’t know but that makes sense

          • Midnight Rider

            Can confirm it was Brendino — he pretty much admitted it

          • Jovi

            Brendan sits on a throne of lies

          • I definitely never said it was me specifically

          • Midnight Rider

            Exactly.

  • gutsgonebad
  • Ungaba
    • PensPointsYourMom

      Not to mention a career high 70 reg season pts last year. Yeah he didn’t score 30 goals like he did for the Leafs several seasons, but that’s cause he’s not “the guy” on the Pens like he was on the Leafs.

      • Ungaba

        I didn’t realize that was his career high. Wow.

        Yeah, just shoot Ugly Sweater Guy now and have done.

    • j-b0t

      I love Phil. You hear me Phil? I LOVE YOU.

      • SouthSideGeno

        b0ts Love?

    • Randy

      He’s a beast in the playoffs and Toronna is retaining $1.2M in salary. He’s kind of a bargain. Doesn’t seem to do much 5 on 5 tho.

      • SouthSideGeno

        Hen never checks…HIT SOMEBODY

    • Penguin in Houston

      Some dood is getting his bawls busted by moi on Facebook, says Phil doesn’t do enough and we should trade his ass. Fuckwad!

      • PensPointsYourMom

        dumbass

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Kind of got buried in all the other talk about GMJR’s interview this morning, but saying he’s looking at 3C’s in the 2mil range, really, really narrows the options. There are only about 30 veteran players that meet that criteria.

    • Randy

      How many 3C only earn $2? Even frk’n Sutter gets $4.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        There 26 active players who play center and made between 1 mil and 2.5 last year (including Bonino). One mil floor because below that its rookies, AHLer’s and people you mostly wouldn’t want as a 3C.

        • Randy

          Da bois will get ‘er done. That or we sign Lemieux to an ELC, reunite Jagr for the geriatric line, and inject a little youth with Cullen.

  • Penguin in Houston
    • SouthSideGeno

      Yeah, we should definitely trade him. Is Girwho available?
      HA!

    • j-b0t

      O shit. Fucking owned.

      • j-b0t

        Also where do people get the narrative that he doesn’t hustle or play well defensively, or care? Did they not watch a single game this last playoff?

        • PensPointsYourMom

          Phil isn’t gonna win puck battles in the corner, or separate the puck with a hit. That’s not his game. I understand why people think he’s not defensively stout. But honestly, that’s not what the pens pay him to do.

    • Ungaba

      Well done. You even stayed nice and civil about it.

  • PensPointsYourMom
    • SouthSideGeno

      ….Ahhhhhhhh….sooo good

    • Ungaba

      That’s awesome. Thank you for sharing. I’m almost starting to feel bad for that fan base.

      Almost.

      • SouthSideGeno

        N. E. V. E. R.

        muahahahaha

    • Jovi

      are they really getting mad about a video game?

      • PensPointsYourMom

        yuh huh.

  • SouthSideGeno

    Little preview of the after ‘party’ in the SouthSide on 11/18

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOuSxal8pf4

  • Midnight Rider

    Correct answer

  • lauriruu
    • PensPointsYourMom

      My brother in law and kids, who are huge pens fans, went. Said it was awesome.

      • lauriruu

        I wish I’ll get to see Olli!

        • Jovi

          you should go see Butters

          • SouthSideGeno

            I would…I’d give him a youge man-bear hug

        • SouthSideGeno

          Doan yinz all sleep in the same Val Hala longhut or sumthing over there?

          Just walk over to his bunk. You’ll have to step over the Elk bones and blond goddess she-warriors I guess, but he’ll be under there somewhere.

    • lauriruu
    • Jovi

      Oh that hair.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        I looks like soft serve ice cream

        • SouthSideGeno

          “The Ice Cream with the curl on top!”

  • lauriruu
    • PensPointsYourMom

      is it weird that I have a boner now?

      • Jovi

        yes its weird

        • PensPointsYourMom

          did you watch the video? it didn’t give you a Sid boner?

          • Jovi

            i watched and no boner. my only thought was, ‘I hope he doesn’t fall down the hill’ and ‘Oooo, a dog’.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            def. “ooo a dog”

      • lauriruu

        I was just thinking the same ‘on my part’.

        • SouthSideGeno

          Yuh, but when doan you have a boner?…yer like 23 or sumthin right?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            #truth

  • SouthSideGeno

    Dylan? Fuk man that my shiz.

    I’m Beavis and Butthed banging to this one.

    I’ll get some Julie Andrews Show tunes for our road trip to PGH for you…LAVERNE

  • SouthSideGeno

    hahaha…ok Mr. Agreeable…you funny

    • lauriruu

      Can we listen to Sailing to Philadelphia, though?

  • HawtDoge

    Erreybody, I have a cake day at work tomorrow and therefore am at the bar with my buddy right now. I’m itchin to play some tunes. Suggestions? What’s new Pussycat 20 times?

    • SouthSideGeno

      Why Why Why Delilah?

    • PensPointsYourMom

      La Grange

      • SouthSideGeno

        Hossa Hossa?

      • HawtDoge

        I was at a wedding band practice earlier and we were talking about covering this. COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT!

        • PensPointsYourMom

          Everybody loves that song.

          • Ungaba

            A how how how how!

    • lauriruu

      Uptown Funk

      • SouthSideGeno

        The Loney Goatherd…by the Family Von Trappe?

        • HawtDoge

          BAHAHAHAHAHA

          • SouthSideGeno

            Yodeladi Yodeladi Yodeladi Whoooooooooooooooooo

      • HawtDoge

        Im over that song, but it would please the 7 people here ๐Ÿ˜€

        • Jovi

          electric feel popped into my head

    • Jovi

      is this a party vibe or mellow time?

      • lauriruu

        Depends on the tune Doge selects!

    • Randy

      Pass the Dutchie feat. our very own, albeit much, much younger Lee Stempniak.

    • Broken Coach Vlad

      is it a more conservative or liberal bar? conservative, play Rage Against the Machine.. Liberal, play Kid Rock

      • Broken Coach Vlad

        or in remembrance of Fresh Kid Ice, play Me So Horny

        • Randy

          I loved them when I was a kid. I think 12 years old or something. My older brother traded me all their (probably stolen) tapes for a bunch of hockey cards. I later noticed my Mike Modano rookie card was missing and found it in his book. I then took my sister’s nail polish and painted the corner red to ‘prove’ that it was mine. He was pissed at me but gave it back. Banned in the USA is how I got into Springsteen.

    • Ungaba

      Mmmmmmmm…… cake

  • Cross nearly getting arrested at a Gorillaz concert off my bucket list

    • lauriruu

      Plz moar info!

      • Stood in line for 1.5 hours, rain delay, came back to a two hour line. People who camped out for it were them in the back of the line. Tickets said rain or shine

        Their venue is backwards so when you enter you’re in the front, meaning you have to fight past people moshing to get to the front row. Venue overbooked, easily over 7k people, people getting mushed and crushed against fences and each other, no way to push through them but people behind you shoving your back into them (after standing in the rain for four hours)

        After a while we said fuck it, climbed around a fence and then kicked down a smaller fence and maybe fifty of us watched behind the side of the venue. Security comes over and yells at us, more security comes, more come, etc. A couple fist fights break out, lots of death threats, we would up just walking away to a part of the venue with less troublemaking going on because cops were called

        • Ungaba

          But the show… was the show worth the effort?

          • Nope! But we’re seeing them in SF in a month and that’s bound to be much more chill. I’ve only been to Philly twice now, the last time was to see a show at the Troc, and I remember the place being awful there, too. Bad experience with shows in Philly lol

          • Ungaba

            So we have further empirical evidence that Philly sucks.

            I’ll add my story. Wife and I saw Muse at Wells Fargo about 4 years ago. Sat in the last row and thought we were going to tumble to our deaths it was so steep up there. The show was fine but we were pretty sure we were going to be killed on the train on the way back to the hotel.

            My story sucks, but it’s the only show I’ve seen in Philly so there ya go.

          • What was wrong with the train?

          • Ungaba

            Ruffians. There were many ruffians that weren’t particularly excited that my wee wife and I were on that train.

          • lauriruu
          • Who woulda thunk! But for real so far the city itself, at least what I’m seeing, is really cool. I’m indifferent to a lot of the people though

          • MoonStanley

            In COLOR?!

          • lauriruu

            Philadelphians hate the fans of Muse?

        • lauriruu

          That’s awful. Queuing should be properly organized, like it is at Springsteen concerts.

          • There was lightning far off in the distance, and that was supposedly the cause. I’d be furious if I were one of the people camped out since the afternoon, who were let into the venue and then kicked out and had to go to the back of the line. Seems like an easy fix, just stamp peoples hands and make them form a new line

    • j-b0t

      Nearly?

      This bot is disappoint.

  • j-b0t

    Centers that are making between 1-2.75 million AAV:

    https://www.capfriendly.com/browse/active/2017/games-played/all/center

    The names that stand out to me: Brock Nelson, Riley Sheahan, Testtube, Zack Smith, Ryan Strome, Nemestnikov.

    For some reason I feel like Brian Boyle is a potential. I can’t explain why. It looks like Paul Byron is the best value as far as production for his cap number goes.

    • lauriruu

      I wouldn’t mind Erik Haula.

      • Randy

        Is he C? The joogle says LW. Seems like LVK thinned out the talent pool pretty bad. I think they have 7 C. In terms of talent and cap hit, Marchessault looks good, scoring 30 goals in a bottom six role in FLA, but he’s only signed for one more year, so essentially a rental that would probably cost Kessel’s last nut. That being said, how is LVK gonna deal with all the extra personnel?

        • lauriruu

          C as far as I know. C on capfriendly.

          • Randy

            Hmm. C on Wikipedia, but my joogler says LW, as does NHL.com. Get ur shit straightened out betteman! If he is indeed C or a combination of LW/C that would suggest LVK have 8 centers. Are they gonna roll 8 lines?

        • lauriruu

          I’m sure VGkinas are going to roll 8 lines of future draft picks (plus Fleury). They’ll have an equally good chance at making the playoffs that way.

    • You just made my day by even mentioning test tube. I hope beyond hope that he comes back

      • Ungaba

        SCIENCE!!!

    • PensPointsYourMom

      I kinda feel like if the pens wanted Boyle they would have signed him in FA. Why would they pay him 2mil AND give up something in a trade when they can just pay him 2mil. I’m guessing Boyle is not a fit. On that list, I’d be looking at Paul Byron or Melker Karlsson. Faksa is out there too.
      Sheahan’s stats from last year are frking awful, maybe it because the wings suck, maybe its because he sucks.
      I don’t think we’d get Namestnikov away from the lightning, and he’s an RFA after this year. (after Kuznetsov reportedly leveraging a 10 mil KHL offer into his enormous contract with the Caps, I’d be very hesitant to sign Russian RFAs).
      Strome would be ok, but he’ll be an RFA after this season too.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Zack Smith resigned with Ottawa for 3.25 for 4 years, so he’s probably out.
        Brock Nelson is a good possibility, he’ll be an RFA, but the Islander are short on D and have some flexibility at center.
        Letestu is pretty exependable now that the Oilers have McDavid, Drysidehole, Juice and RNH down the middle. He’s a good option, but a UFA after this year.

        • Ungaba

          “…short on D…” Hehehehehheheheh

          I’m with you on Nelson. It always seemed like he was noticable in a good why when we played the Isles.

          No chance on Namestnikov, I concur. Test tube really is intriguing… it would be neat for him to ‘come home’ and show that he really does know how to hockey now.

      • Penguin in Houston

        Faksa would be fun to yell. Fahk…Sa!

        • SouthSideGeno

          TOTALLY NEED TO GET HIM FOR THAT

          • Penguin in Houston

            Since we missed out on Frk.

  • lauriruu
    • Randy

      Pays extra for personalized plates dissing Sid; drives a Kia.

      Crosby could literally buy that guy.

      • Ungaba

        You could add ‘Eats paste’ as well.

        Those personalized plates kill me. Imagine having that level of angst as a fan that you drive around in something that illustrates your hatred for a specific fellow human being because he plays a sport for a different organization than the one you support.

        Mind-boggling.

        • bart2puck

          I tried for “5 cups”, “pensin6” and a bunch of others. all gone.
          lots of pens love in the underbelly of DC

          • Randy

            That’s because Ted Leonsis lobbied the DMV and put those all on the black list (no rassiss).

        • Randy

          Yup. Oh and I edited my comment. Thanks!

      • SouthSideGeno

        He drives a car from IKEA….we know just from that he’s stoopit.

    • PenguinPelts

      Dumb fuck can’t even spell Crosby right.

    • Penguin in Houston

      He should’ve spray painted over the plate.

      • Randy

        In Penguins gold. Genius.

  • Ungaba
  • j-b0t

    This bot never sleeps.

    What am I doing with my life?

    (hint: making awesome MUSAK…. for myself)

    • j-b0t

      don’t LOOK AT ME

      • lauriruu

        I SEE UUU

    • Ungaba

      Yeah, you’re up early. Making music? That’s better than what I did this AM. Drive kid to work and feed dogs and eat bagel before work.

      • j-b0t

        yes…up early…that’s it.

  • bart2puck
    • Ungaba

      11/18/17 – Pens host Blackhawks at PPG in da Burgh.

      VVVV.Pens.hockey appreciation night.

      Can we count you in????

      • bart2puck

        maybe…

        • Ungaba

          That’ll do for now. As long as you’re aware and considering it, I’ll call it progress.

          Fin, Geno, Ulfie, me are IN.
          Bren, Doge are ‘likely’.
          We have a few ‘definitely maybes’ including you now.
          A few ‘trying real hard to make it work’.

          And one flat ‘nope’ – PPYM, because he’s a dik.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            …never said I wasn’t

          • Ungaba

            This is true. But we definitely need a dik or two around here.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            We always need good D.

          • Ungaba

            …I never said good.

          • bart2puck

            Is there such a thing as bad D?

            //Orpik scrambles into corner and hides behind a bookshelf.

          • Ungaba

            Orpik always seems to be scrambling, albeit slowly.

          • PensPointsYourMom
          • bart2puck

            you forget the return value…

          • lauriruu
          • bart2puck
          • SouthSideGeno

            “WE” always need good D in our “AREA”

          • Penguin in Houston

            Yeah, so WE can dikripit.

          • bart2puck

            its a 4.5 hour drive from here in Ovenchikin D.C. would probably have to be a up and back…coordinating babysitting and such, being 4 months away. its a maybe definitely flirting with most likely.

          • Ungaba

            The tickets aren’t even on sale yet, so we have time.

          • UlfSammySon

            Maybe definitely flirting with most likely… I like that.

          • bart2puck

            I try to be clear in my statements.

          • UlfSammySon

            Crystal clear, bud.

          • SouthSideGeno

            You could drive to my house in Philthy and we (me and you and Lauriruu) could all rent an SUV for the weekend and drive together???

            That offer is open to anyone else in my ‘AREA’ as well.
            Speak up if yer interested.

          • UlfSammySon
          • SouthSideGeno

            hahaha….yuh…the Himpaste/Free Butter/Rape Mobile

          • UlfSammySon

            If you could convert it to run on himpaste, you’d be all set.

          • bart2puck

            unless you give great roadies, swinging thru Philly adds 2.5 hours to my ride

          • SouthSideGeno

            I heard that PPYM couldn’t go cause yer mum won’t untie him.

          • Ungaba

            I think he’s just afraid to show his face because then he knows we’ll have to actually call the FBI or else be tried for aiding and abetting.

          • SouthSideGeno

            That, or he’s chained to the bull milking machine…and likes it.

          • The66thDopefish

            Make that two nopes, but I will leave it to you to decide whether it’s because I’m a dik

          • SouthSideGeno

            We’ll miss you. You have time, if you change you’re mind.

          • Ungaba

            You’re not a dik. You’re a nerd. And a new dad. This is definitely an ‘excused absence’. ๐Ÿ™‚

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Frk you…maybe Im all of things. Maybe I have dik cancer. How come I get no benefit of the doubt.

          • SouthSideGeno

            OH kamon, we doubt you alla time

          • PensPointsYourMom

            not gonna bite on dik cancer huh? that’s unexpected.

          • SouthSideGeno

            I C wut U did there ; )

          • Ungaba

            First of all, you’re changing your answer. You already said you were a dik, so that’s that.

            And if you cannot be there, I reserve the right to bust your balls. Merely because… well, because that’s what big brothers do.

            Also, I’m sad, so I’m going to be shitty about it.

          • Penguin in Houston

            He needs to quit being a dik.

          • Door_Matt

            I will not be there.

          • SouthSideGeno

            *Air rushing out of buildings all over PensNation : (

          • Ungaba

            Well that’s shit, Matt. Just shit.

            Sorry that we’ll be missing you.

    • UlfSammySon

      Good read. I was very excited about the Aston-Reese signing in March. While he’s certainly not ready to be our 3C yet, it makes me feel better about just plugging that hole for a year with whoever GMJR ends up acquiring.

      • PenguinPelts

        Gotta give Sprong and ZAR the eight game look next year. And I think he could slot in to be the 3C. A great college career, and when he joined the AHL he wasn’t a slouch- granted it was for only 10 games.

  • Ungaba

    This is my only political point of the day.

    https://twitter.com/jsterling86/status/885279489193906176

  • SouthSideGeno

    YEAH BABY!

    You gonna go hang out with Butters?

    • lauriruu

      I wish! Last year he was here in August!

    • Ungaba

      I can no see picture… ๐Ÿ™

      • SouthSideGeno
        • Ungaba

          Yes. That one I see.

          Also, lol

          • SouthSideGeno

            Maybe turn off yer FIN filter?

          • Ungaba

            Nah, I see all his other crazy shit, so it ain’t that.

            Just weird. This has happened to a couple of pics on here for me. Seemingly random.

          • lauriruu
          • SouthSideGeno

            HA! Bucket-O-Blood?

          • lauriruu

            ‘Hallo Ich Bin Berliner Weisse Raspberry’ is the name of the drink.

          • Ungaba

            Ich Bin Yuck

          • lauriruu

            If you haven’t tasted it…

          • Ungaba

            Yeah, but raspberry weissssssssse beer just ain’t my thang.

          • lauriruu

            Butt.. though.

          • SouthSideGeno

            big ol’e BUTT

          • SouthSideGeno

            DOAN FRUIT THE BEER!

          • Ungaba

            Zakly

          • Randy

            I got no probs with the raspberry beer. But I doan drink much beer in general.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            beaver anal glands brah

          • SouthSideGeno

            …with just a smidge of juiced wombat balls

          • PenguinPelts

            Hello I am a Berliner White Raspberry?

          • SouthSideGeno

            rassis raspberry

          • lauriruu

            Si, Seรฑor!

          • PenguinPelts

            Das ist komisch.

          • lauriruu

            Vad sรคger du?

  • PenguinPelts

    I miss Hofbrauhaus. I know it’s random, I just needed to say it.

    • Ungaba

      See? I told you California wasn’t all that!

      • SouthSideGeno

        SNAP-ity-do daaa

      • PenguinPelts

        I miss one restaurant, let’s calm down.

        Plus, I can go get a Hofbrauhaus Lager at a little establishment called the Red Lion, so I’m not stressing that much.

        • PenguinPelts

          But I can’t find good Spรคtzle out here.

          • Ungaba

            Did you ever go to the amazing German restaurant in Springdale run by the 2 gay French dudes? It’s an old Victorian house painted bright pink and you eat in the old rooms.

            AMAZING German food.

          • Ungaba
          • SouthSideGeno

            Prawlly found too much himpaste in the Spรคtzle

          • PenguinPelts

            I don’t think I ever went to Springdale for anything.

          • Ungaba

            Fair enough. I lived out there for a time. It’s… out there.

          • PenguinPelts

            I used to play hockey out in New-Ken though, so strictly drive through.

          • Ungaba

            That’s bananas – surely there are some places. After all, California is totally, 100% completely awesome!

          • PenguinPelts

            I’ve had it, but out here they usually only have it as a side or as a lunch special or something, not one of the standard dishes.

  • SouthSideGeno

    Man-o-La…its a slow day in here compared to yesterday.

    Is erreybody Friday-fappen?

    • Ungaba

      Twice so far…

      • The66thDopefish

        Too much time on your hands

        • lauriruu

          time

          • The66thDopefish

            too

          • The66thDopefish
          • lauriruu

            Ahhhhj. Suddenly bull’s milk

          • The66thDopefish

            himpaste?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Bull Burritos?

          • Penguin in Houston

            Caca del toro!

          • SouthSideGeno

            ยฟDรณnde estรก esa foto tuya?

          • SouthSideGeno

            He should have sung in Spanish.

          • The66thDopefish

            Y corre y corre para ponerse al dรญa con el sol, pero se estรก hundiendo
            Volviendo a correr detrรกs de ti otra vez

          • SouthSideGeno

            Nadie me dijo cuรกndo correr

          • lauriruu

            No llores, mi querida
            Dios nos vigila
            Soon the horse will take us to Durango
            Agarrame, mi vida
            Soon the desert will be gone
            Soon you will be dancing the fandango

          • SouthSideGeno

            hahaha…go home lil vaquero…yer borracho : )

        • SouthSideGeno

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XcKBmdfpWs

          nice powder blue onezie …lol

          • Randy

            I can see why those guys made it big.

          • SouthSideGeno

            They were YOUGE in PGH…I was always kinda on the Ference with them

          • Randy

            You gotta get off the ference. There are so many classics that came out in the 80’s, but these guys? Lol!

          • SouthSideGeno

            I hate them…Better?

          • Randy

            Better. I kind of dig their sound tho. Could imagine seeing them perform in Las Vegas Wendover (NV’s wexford).

          • SouthSideGeno

            I’m so confused…Now I’ll never know if Styx are for kids

          • Randy

            Styx are for kids only on #FapFriday

      • SouthSideGeno

        Left & Right hannny? Or Hands & Feet?

  • The66thDopefish

    Leave it to Jeremy Jacobs to try and ignore compulsory charity work for 24 years: http://deadspin.com/teens-discover-the-boston-garden-has-ignored-law-for-de-1796921301

    • PenguinPelts

      Charity? What’s that like chairs shaped like E’s or something?

      • SouthSideGeno

        : /

        haha

        • PenguinPelts

          It was a stretch I know.

          • UlfSammySon

            As long as you know ๐Ÿ™‚

          • PenguinPelts

            I’ll do better next time.

          • UlfSammySon

            I know you will.

  • SouthSideGeno

    Muggy today here in the Philthy.

    68* is my favorite ambient temperature…but I do love 69

    • Jovi

      its Hades-hot in Memphis; its says 92 but I wouldn’t take that to the bank.

    • Broken Coach Vlad

      i’ll give your mom a 68.. i’ll go down on her and she can owe me one..

      • SouthSideGeno

        You rapthcallion thavage….FYI…UNG is now covering all my mum’s debts

        • Jovi

          Personally or you mean his Mom?
          Can we bang Ung now? Have his fiances declined that much?
          Sad.
          …Does he do weekends?

          • Ungaba

            Hold on…

            Why are we banging me?

            And where are these ‘declining fiances’ you speak of? I could use a new fiance or two…

          • lauriruu

            Oh I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize it was you…

          • Jovi

            damn the phone! finances. auto-ccorrect is useless.
            USELESS I TELL YOU.

          • Jovi

            SSG is pimiping you out.
            Do you do holidays?
            Are there any specials?

          • lauriruu

            Yinz phone has an auto-stutter too?

          • Jovi

            I give up on speech.
            I will only use pictures.

          • Randy

            Or, highly useful 97% of the time.

          • Randy

            Coz yer mouth looks all purdy.

          • lauriruu

            You have your mom’s mouth.

          • Randy

            Pucker up!

      • PensPointsYourMom

        ummm…not sure how thats how 68 goes

    • Ever been to the festival pier? I’ve been scorching them on twitter

      • SouthSideGeno

        Nope…my daughter has though. I doan dig the club scene, never did…I was always more of the small local bar drunk…but it’s a cool spot if yer visiting.

        • Im so mad w/ them that im about to make a video about it and send it to any/all Philadelphia government/311 stuff

          • SouthSideGeno

            Bad service? Or just Philthy addy-toood?

          • My review on yelp:

            Deathtrap.

            Attended the Gorillaz, the entrance is about 20 feet wide and against the stage, instead of having the stage at the END. Meaning you have to mosh/push/fight past a wall of people in the front.

            Not for the faint of heart, or even people who just slightly dislike crowds. I go to a lot of festivals and I had to turn around. It’s unacceptable and it absolutely breaks a LOT of safety codes. This venue should not be allowed to run in this city in this condition.

            Once in, we did find some solace in an area behind the fence, which we weren’t allowed to be in, but peacefully watched the show from there. People were being mushed against the fence, some climbing and getting out because they were undoubtably being injured by the oversold crowd and horrible layout.

            Soon enough security came out to a screaming match, I saw a 7 year old girl break down crying and then a few actual fist-fights break out.

            I would never. Ever. Ever. Go to this venue again. Even if a band I love comes here, it’s unacceptable and they should be shut down or forced to change their entire layout.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Haha..wow…yuh, I’m pretty sure that the same place that fell into the water a few years ago and some peeps actually got killed.

            You should try not to die there.

  • Jovi

    try to pace yourself or your liver won’t make it to November

    • lauriruu

      Trying to get myself up to speed.

      • Jovi

        oh, please, this crew will be ready for bed after the 2nd period; you’ll be fine.

        • Ungaba

          Hey! Speak for yourself, lady!

        • SouthSideGeno

          doan count on that…WOOOOOWHOOOOO

  • SouthSideGeno

    OH BOI…have fun Fin…be careful

  • PensPointsYourMom

    I wonder what its like to be a professional troll:
    https://twitter.com/MarkMaddenX/status/678975793884622848

    • Ungaba

      At least that was in 2015. For a minute I thought it was a current tweet.

      Either way, fuck that guy.

    • PenguinPelts

      Yet one helped ya win two Stanley Cups, the other didn’t.

      • Ungaba

        Well, it could be argued that the other one technically did, at least somewhat…

        • Randy

          Horny + Kessel over Neal and Kapanen (and what’s his face?) any day of the week.

    • MoonStanley
      • PensPointsYourMom

        sup vacation between jobs sloth?

        • MoonStanley

          Takin a break from waxin the whip for the journey to wax my peeps up with some fly-ass gifs.

          Howyoudoin?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            grindin’ out this bitch-ass werkweek…countin’ em down the band Europe.

          • MoonStanley
          • Jovi

            Since someone mentioned the 80s.

            https://youtu.be/rOXaPE6gklI

            Great song but this video is just hilarious.

          • SouthSideGeno

            O GAWD NOOOOOOOOOO

            those clothes…that hair…*vomits

          • Jovi

            so 80s good

          • SouthSideGeno

            80’s …WORST music decade EVA

            Shane Doan and Disco Still Suck

          • Jovi

            Waaaaaa…but ‘Dancing Queen’ and ‘Play that funky music’!

          • SouthSideGeno

            Well, there’s always a few signature songs here and there…butt DISCO ruined the world

          • MoonStanley

            Wasn’t disco fueled by nose candy?

          • Jovi

            nothing can go wrong with a little powder on the nose

          • MoonStanley

            – SSG

          • SouthSideGeno

            HEY…I didn’t say that everything in the 80’s was bad ; )

            #stillsniffling30yearslater

          • Randy

            I’m on the ference with that one. Oh who am I kidding. When he started dancing, I started fapping.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Ference jumper!

          • SouthSideGeno

            He gotz da dik kancer on top of his herbiez

          • MoonStanley

            I wanna lil hulu chick to shake her hips while I’m hugging the curves.

          • MoonStanley

            Dead bugs = dick cheese

      • SouthSideGeno

        I’m gonna watch that again this weekend…TY again MoonHoTep

    • Penguin in Houston

      Hippo Gordito

  • lauriruu

    On the train now… My snacks are cola and rum. Hmmm what if I brought their powers together to make a pocket warm drink…

    • Ungaba

      If I had to pick any two snacks, those would be pretty high on my list.

    • Randy

      Cuba libres?

      • Broken Coach Vlad

        hipster

        • Randy

          slut

          • MoonStanley

            Cucks

          • Randy

            hangs head in shame. The shame!!!

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            I am not a slut, I get paid, even if I enjoy it.

          • Jovi

            ???
            How does that NOT make you s slut?

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            sluts don’t get paid, whores do.. so I am a whore that just enjoys their work..

          • Randy

            #whoreempowering

          • MoonStanley
          • SouthSideGeno

            New Ancient Alien episode on tonight…can’t wait!

          • MoonStanley

            Yes!

          • Randy

            “Still just a lot of probing.” – Doc

          • Jovi

            reasonable.
            hahah.

          • Randy

            Just curious, what’s your hourly rate? I’m kinda short on cash right now myself..

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            depends on the client… 20 an hour up to 120 an hour is my consulting rate.. really infect your system or network, then I’ll work with the client.. oh oh oh.. you mean being a whore, not an IT whore.. about the same, depends on the menu..

          • Randy

            No real difference is there? But that’s quite the sliding scale.

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            I actually have a few clients that need simple shit. They are older and just need basic computer stuff. I don’t like screwing old people and such, but I have to make enough to make it worth my time, so 20 bucks an hour, but usually I’ll discount that even if it is just scanning a machine and such.

          • Randy

            You do that remotely? Coz $20 would be tough to cover travel.

          • Jovi

            talk to SSG about protection fees

          • SouthSideGeno

            I could send Vinny over to …hehe, rearrange da furniture a lil bit, bada-boom

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            realest guys in the room? how you doin?

        • lauriruu

          Revolutionary

    • SouthSideGeno

      Remember to stay hydrated…lot’s of Beaver water this weekend ma Boi…how’s the Maid of ‘Dis’honor looking?

  • MoonStanley
  • MoonStanley
    • SouthSideGeno

      Bren? Lookin gooooood Dude

      • Ungaba

        He did NOT look like that yesterday. That concert must have been ROUGH.

  • lauriruu
  • Randy

    Anyone like the wheel?

    Person who annoys you:
    _ _ _ _ E N

    Letters:
    R S T N L E

    Choose 3 letters and a vowel.

  • PenguinPelts
    • Ungaba

      Fucking Ron Fucking Cook making it so that he has to answer stupid shit like that. Pisses me off.

      • Penguin in Houston

        And fuck that fucktarded idiot on Facebook last night too.
        #iwannadikripit

        • Ungaba

          But you did the right thing. You beat him down, nicely, with unassailable facts.

          You facted him, right up the arse!

  • Penguin in Houston

    The world’s finest clean tech city!

    • SouthSideGeno

      HEY! You know stuff ; )

      • Penguin in Houston

        So do the interwebs.

    • lauriruu

      I told my friend earlier that I wasn’t drunk enough to walk these streets

  • lauriruu
    • SouthSideGeno

      Are they all at yer buddy’s bachelor party?

      • lauriruu

        I’m the fifth on the left of Geno.

      • Midnight Rider

        They were all at a June 9, 2016 meeting

        • SouthSideGeno

          #FINdreamkiller

  • PensPointsYourMom

    TBL signed Palat for 5.3 mil per for 5 years. Thats a big contract. Other than adding Kunitz, Im not sure the Lightning have gotten any better this year.

    • SouthSideGeno

      I doan know if I’d go as far as to say adding Kunitz made TB any better. (I’m guessing that’s not EXACTLY what you meant by what you wrote.)

      In any case, it’s 8:20pm on Friday night and we’re the only ones on here and not at the party! Why do we have no life? HAHAHA

      • Randy

        It’s 6:45 here and I’m about to leave to a party. Beep
        Going home to drink with the guys. Beep
        Going home to watch the game. Beep
        Going home look at the ladies in a victoria secrets catalog. Beep
        Sigh.
        Sears catalog.

        • Randy

          Jk heading to the beach woo!

    • Midnight Rider

      I’m not sure they needed to do much, assuming Stammer can stay healthy next season.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Kunitz for Drouin is a downgrade. Agree they’re built pretty well tho.

        • Midnight Rider

          Drewanne wasn’t one of their core guys. I think TBL will be one of the top teams in the Eastern Conf next season.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Stamkos? Stamkos? Stamkos?

            Can he make it through a season playing more than 20 games?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            If Stamkos can stay healthy, yes. Devils got better too. I expect they’ll make the playoffs.

          • SouthSideGeno

            I hope you’re wrong about the Devils…it’s so easy for me to get tickets for Pens games there now since they suk…and it’s only a 45 minute drive for me.

          • Midnight Rider

            Bold prediction on NJD — whose place do they take? CBJ?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Bolder prediction: capitals

          • Midnight Rider

            Haha sheiiiiiit I hope you’re right

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Yeah I don’t know. It just feels like panic mode in WSH.

          • Midnight Rider

            Oh it is, no doubt, they’re melting down over a video game teaser. So great.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Best bet for who doesn’t make the playoffs may be the Rags. They’re all frked up, and the answer to their problem is not Shattenkirk. Plus I expect Queen Henny’s regression to continue.

          • Midnight Rider

            Good call, I forgot they even made the playoffs this year

          • PensPointsYourMom

            The Bruins squeaked in too.

          • SouthSideGeno

            I really wish the NHL would implement seeding the playoffs by points total rather than divisional placement. I realize that is too logical and therefore …no chance.

          • Midnight Rider

            I wish the Pens could play the Caps in the second round every year. Worked the last 2 years.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            …and every time they’ve won the cup.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            (round 1 in 92 tho)

          • Midnight Rider

            And Ottawa sucks.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            But what about the system?

          • Midnight Rider

            “Erik Karlsson, you’re our only hope”
            Not a terrible system tbh

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I was thinking yesterday that that was the closest series of the playoffs for the pens this year. Ottawa is dangerous. But give me a Letang, a Crosby and a Murray, and I like our chances.

          • Midnight Rider

            My opinion that Ottawa sucks is unwavering. Smoke, mirrors, Boston, and Rangers to get to the ECF.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I give them a ton of credit for not having much high end talent and still being competitive. Having said that, what they’re doing with that trap ruins hockey.

          • j-b0t

            If I were a betting man, I would absolutely bet on Ottawa not making the playoffs next year. They’re garbage. Anderson standing on his head and Karlsson being ridiculous and still barely beating teams in overtime and in low chance slog fests is not a sustainable model.

          • SouthSideGeno

            I could see that happening…OVI’s head would splode

  • SouthSideGeno

    Anybody wanna go? YOU WANNA GO?

    *crickets

    I’ll turn the lights off on my way out…sniff

    • PensPointsYourMom

      go where?

      • SouthSideGeno

        Anywhere but where I am…I’m still working…fortunately, in my basement office butt still
        : (

        • Broken Coach Vlad

          can we play one of my favorite games?

          • SouthSideGeno

            As long as it doan involve hiding a salami…

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            well… one of them is “hide and go fuck yourself”

          • PensPointsYourMom

            so. slutty.

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            what is it with me and slutty?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Gotta go with yer strength brutha

            I miss hawkey porn….why doan the NHL have a Summer league?
            The stoopid NBA does.

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            because basketball is not so physically demanding

          • PensPointsYourMom

            yeah, bunch of pussies

          • SouthSideGeno

            They should make the NBA players play hockey during the summer…that would be funny

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            lebron on ice…..

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            bunch of pheasants!

          • PensPointsYourMom

            you watch season 3 yet?

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            saw some highlights…

          • PensPointsYourMom

            great coach rant in Ep1

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            i saw shorzy in the shower chirping scene

          • Penguin in Houston

            That’s good eating.

          • Randy

            So SSG is Vlad’s sugar daddy. It all makes sens now.

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            what?

          • Randy

            This has nothing to do with me. I just prefer whore empowering over slut shaming.

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            how was I being slut shamed… i am still wondering

          • Randy

            Good! That’s good. Keep being strong. We’re here for you.

  • Broken Coach Vlad

    Taxation is theft…

    • PensPointsYourMom

      become a sovereign citizen

      • Broken Coach Vlad

        I am just poking the bear, lol

        • PensPointsYourMom

          yeah, I wasnt serious, those people are fucking crazy

        • Randy

          “Poking the bear”

          slutty.

  • SouthSideGeno
    • I think this is the best one youve done

      • Jovi

        long live the king of the north

      • SouthSideGeno

        TY B

        Better than the Darth Vader?

  • SouthSideGeno
    • lauriruu

      Morning!

      • SouthSideGeno

        Morning brutha….3:15am here…time for lil Geno’s to go to dreamland.

        Dargons are coming….

        • lauriruu

          ‘We’ have just cracked opened our first cold ones. Weather is absolutely fantastic. It’s going to be a lovely day.

        • HawtDoge

          DAGGON DARGONS!!!

  • MoonStanley
    • MoonStanley

      Sorry if this didn’t imbed, but it’s a must-watch haha

  • lauriruu
    • PensPointsYourMom

      shatty?

    • MoonStanley

      WOW

      • lauriruu

        He doan give a fduk

        • MoonStanley

          doan really have a choice hehe

  • Penguin in Houston

    I am another year older today. Beats the alternative.

    • Midnight Rider
    • Jovi

      are you celebrating at your favorite bar?

      • Penguin in Houston

        Not right now

    • PensPointsYourMom

      nah, you’re another day older today…unless you live in a universe where a day is actually a year. Happy Birthday in any case. #dikripit

    • lauriruu

      Congrats! One year more beautiful! Are you celebrating tonight?

      • Penguin in Houston

        Yes, boyfriend is taking me out.

    • MoonStanley

      happy birthday!!

      • Penguin in Houston

        Thank you Slothie!

    • SouthSideGeno

      I’M REALLY GONNA NEED A NEW BIRTHDAY PIC FROM YOU TODAY GURL!!!

      Full face frontal no movie star glasses please…I have plans, muahahaha

      HAPPY BURFDAY YOU TEXAS HAWTDAWG

      • Penguin in Houston

        Thank you!

  • Penguin in Houston

    Needs a hair piece

  • Jovi
    • Penguin in Houston

      Cosmonauts?

  • Jovi
    • PensPointsYourMom

      He stole that move from me. That’s how I ride your mom on the downhill too.

    • lauriruu

      That hurt my testies.

  • MoonStanley

    guys, i made my first post! does someone wanna okay it before i publish??

  • MoonStanley
  • Penguin in Houston

    Watching Lion, good movie!