From the Archive: Ottawa’s ugly skyline.

Back in May, this post was too salty.

But it’s been several months, and now it’s just mildly funny. During a Pens loss to the Sens I wrote a recap where I said their City Center (or something) was depressing and ugly. A ton of Sens fans took offense to this, because ???? 

Things were looking a bit dire for the Penguins and as a fail-safe I started a snarky post about “sure we lost, but at least we don’t live in Ottawa”. Of course, the Penguins made my post a complete waste of time, that is, until now.

I present to you, from the archives, the “Ottawa is ugly” post that YOU WERENT ALLOWED TO SEE.

Losing to Ottawa is depressing.

Ottawans would know something about depression.

The National Gallery of Canada looks like something that a North Korean refugee would build in Minecraft.

 

If the National Gallery isn’t your thing and you still want to get some art in you, head to the “National Arts Centre”

No amount of HDR could make the National Arts Centre not look like a USSR army barracks.

 

After moping around these places, you’ll want to jump off a building

So let’s get crackin’. Here’s some of Ottawa’s tallest skyscrapers.

This is either a graphic from Sim City 2000 or the “Place Bell”, one of the tallest buildings in Ottawa. What a beaut.

 

Here we have the “Terrasses de la Chaudière”, the tallest building in Ottawa. Terrasses de la Chaudière is French for “Old Folks Home in Braddock, Except Tall”. A bit drab until you see those sick-ass flags hanging from the top.

 

Don’t break into these buildings just to commit suicide, though.

You might get caught for breaking and entering.

Then you’ll have to see,

with your actual eyes

in real life,

the fucking police department of Ottawa.

In Hindsight

Ottawa is actually beautiful. Though their fans over at SensChirp are incredibly sensitive to.. chirping.. they do live in an awfully pretty city.


Running list for those interested in 11/18 blog meet-up game:

@ungaba, @lauriruu, @ulfsammyson, @hawtdoge, @rad88, @southsidegeno, @jovi, @nolongermyrealname91, @excoachnowplayerorsomethingVlad, @brendannnnn, @el wray

  • Ungaba

    “Old Folks Home In Braddock, Except Tall”

    As a guy who’s taken 5 years of French classes 20 years ago, I’m 100% sure that this translation is correct.

  • Penguin in Houston

    The “Terrasses de la Chaudière pic isn’t visible.

    • Ungaba

      That may be a ‘not available in Houston’ problem, because I see it just fine.

    • SouthSideGeno

      Nope…it is visible…your eyes just decided they didn’t want to see that shiz mountain.

  • Ungaba

    https://www.nhl.com/news/oilers-connor-mcdavid-believes-penguins-sidney-crosby-is-top-nhl-player/c-290735756

    Looks like McDavid has learned a thing or two about interviewing from Sid at least. I like the humility.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    I said it then, I’ll say it again now. Ottawa looks like the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios.

  • SouthSideGeno

    If you stich-em-up half as good as you wurd…you’re gonna be a fine kuntry Dr someday.

    • JakeHK

      I hear braddock is making a comeback

      • Complete bullshit. There’s nowhere to eat (especially past six), the only thing it really has is a new bar.

        • (that white people feel safe drinking at)

          • Ungaba

            You and racism. It’s just a thing now.

          • uh how?

          • Thats literally what happened. Braddock sucks shit but there’s a fancy bar white people aren’t afraid to go to there now, so they go to this bar and leave and go “oH WOw BrAdDoCk Is MaKinG a CoMeBack”

            It has nothing to do with “racism”, it’s what’s literally happening.

          • Unless you’re implying white people *always* loved going to bars in Braddock, because if you are you’re out of your goddamn mind and playing Devils Advocate just to do it, which is what you always do anyway

          • Ungaba

            Wow. OK, so that’s going to the next level.

            You are always talking about Race. That’s the point I was making.

            Also, I will never go to Braddock. Not a place I want to hang out. 🙂

          • EXACTLY

          • Ungaba

            LOL, I was making your point for you, good sir. Doesn’t make me a racist, you see.

            Also, eff Braddock. In case that wasn’t clear.

            I love you.

          • I’m not calling you a racist (right here) and just because I (or anyone) brings up “black people” or “white people” doesn’t mean it deals with racism. I’m just saying white people are afraid of Braddock except for a fancy bar. I can’t imagine how anyone would disagree

            Love you too bb

          • Ungaba

            This is all entirely reasonable.

            I owned a house in Crafton Heights. Up until there was a drug deal on my street. So I moved. Most people in my district are white. Is that a coincidence? I wish that it were. I just know that I feel more comfortable there than elsewhere. Sucks, I know… but it’s the truth.

          • It’s cool, I feel more comfortable living around a bunch of Jews. They run a tight ship.

          • Ungaba

            Also, money. Money is good. 🙂

          • SouthSideGeno

            #doublerassis

          • SouthSideGeno

            #rassis

  • Door_Matt

    Jason Irving ghost wrote this post.

    • Ungaba

      When do you move to Da Burgh?

      • Door_Matt

        I’ll know in about 2 weeks if I get to move near yinz and cousin Donny.

  • Ungaba

    Please, people. November 18th, 2017. Come to Pittsburgh. Join us. BE US!!!!

    WE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • PensPointsYourMom

      at this point you might as well just tag me and MR with these. And I can’t speak for him, but I’m not coming. No offense.

      • Ungaba

        YOU MAKE ME SO SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Midnight Rider

        Yeah, I’m out as well. Enjoy the meat up.

        Yinz won’t miss me.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          Right?! Like if they only knew my capacity for ruining social events they would never even talk about here, there’d be a separate thread on some other website just so I didn’t find out.

          • Ungaba

            Ur so weird.

            We love you, PPYM. Regardless of any/everything else. And we will miss you. And we will think of you on that day when you don’t show up.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I’m touched.

          • Ungaba

            Good. You are a legend in here and we all want to meet you but if you choose to remain a Shadow Lurker that’s fine too.

          • UlfSammySon

            come and BE touched.

            You know… Just like high fives and stuff…

        • Ungaba

          meat up…. lol

          Hey look. You and I disagree on most everything. But we agree on our love for the Pens.

          THAT is what brings us together. THAT is why we keep talking in here. THAT is the great equalizer.

          I want nothing more than ALL OF US to show up for 11/18/17. If ANY of us cannot make it, I’m saddened by that much more.

          In summary, I will miss you, good sir. Regardless of anything else.

  • Jovi

    Wait, is this an Ottawa blow-job post?

    • PensPointsYourMom

      an Ottawa blow-job sounds like something I don’t want…I’m thinking it means cheese curds and extra teeth.

      • Midnight Rider

        Might be too polite as well. But I’m willing to find out. Ya know, for science.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          ooo…like a hummer where the giver just says “sorey” into the scrote over and over

          • Jovi

            What!?!

          • SouthSideGeno

            (Shhhh…this is just getting good)

  • Ungaba

    Here’s what you people don’t get. Whether or not you want to be ‘doxxed’ or ‘known’ or what the hell ever.

    We are all Pens fans. We love this team. We are going to the game on 11/18/17 because one of us, who is crazy, from Finland, is coming to town. He is a good guy who loves the Pens so I’m showing up to meet him. I do this because I love the Pens and love people who love the Pens. This night will be so fun because we all love the Pens and we will always remember it.

    So, whoever you are, if you can make it, please, PLEASE show up. If you are worried about money or a place to stay or anything else, please PLEASE speak up. I will GLADLY put you up at my house. I will GLADLY pay for another ticket. I will GLADLY enjoy the Pens with one such as you who shows the determination to make it to this game because you love your team and you love this blog.

    Right, left, center, whatever, we are all Pens fans. We all love these guys and we all enjoy watching this. I have never done anything like what we’re planning to do and I’m so excited about it I’m almost shitting myself (except not really, since I’m a grown man).

    LET’S GO PENS!!!!

  • Ungaba

    OK, so regardless of anything else, this is pretty fucking cool:

    https://twitter.com/theaceofspaeder/status/900539441122607105

    • PensPointsYourMom

      I cashed out on the Buccos early this year, sometimes I regret it, but not very often.

      • Ungaba

        Fair point.

        I’m in a hotel. I have 2 ESPN channels. Because they are such fucking idiots, I did not see a play from that game. I have to wait through Kirk Herbstreet (or whatever) and whatever BS they have on main ESPN (LLWS, I think) to get to that play. Which is a play that has NEVER HAPPENED IN THE 120+ YEARS OF MLB UNTIL TONIGHT.

        Un fucking believeable.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          Yeah its cool thing to happen, but it only happened because the Bucs didn’t have a single hit through 8 innings, which is like saying the dumpster fire melted a piece of plastic so it looks like Jesus Christ. That’s awesome, but it was still a dumpster fire.

          • Ungaba

            OK, so maybe I DON’T want you at the game on the 18th…

            JK, I really do. Like, I REALLY do. Are you 100% sure you can’t/won’t be there? Even if I buy your ticket?

        • UlfSammySon

          It’s almost like they thought it was hockey related…

      • SouthSideGeno

        They define inconsistency…and suck.

        • Andy PepPep

          I disagree. They are very consistent at being terrible and making horrifically bad management decisions.

      • HawtDoge

        This comment sounds particularly like Zorak. Not the content necessarily, but the phrasing for sure 😀

  • HawtDoge
  • Andy PepPep

    Ung seems so nice, I almost feel bad for what I did to his mom.

    • Ungaba

      You shouldn’t – those sound like howls of ecstasy down here in the basement.

      • Andy PepPep

        Those heating vents really carry the sound.

    • SouthSideGeno

      He’s not really…you shouldn’t really.
      haha

  • Ungaba

    A couple of clarifications, now that the bourbon has mostly worn off:

    – I can’t afford ERREYBODY’S tickets, but I would be willing to pitch in to help

    – I was serious about the hotel rooms – I have gobs of Marriott points and can book things in other people’s names for them if they need one. Now, I’m not insane – you don’t get all my points. But I do mean it as a serious offer if a place to stay is the reason you think you can’t attend the game. I promise I won’t make them give me a second key…

    That’s it. I meant everything else, regardless of how yinz treat my mom.

    • Andy PepPep

      I really wish I could make the game. I usually see family around the holidays in Pittsburgh, if you’re all down for another one.

      • Ungaba

        Hells yeah! We’re working hard for this particular date on account of our Finnish Friend, but if you have at least a little advance notice of when you will be in town, we should give it a shot for another one.

        • Andy PepPep

          I was making plans to go in November until I got that damn RSVP.

        • SouthSideGeno

          This will be it for me for this year. I know that if I doan take Mrs SSG to the next Penguin ‘sleep-over’ party she’ll be jealous. Maybe again next season?

          • Ungaba

            Yes, this should be an Annual Event. The VVVVV.pens.hockey Night At The Paint Can (or whatever they change it to when PPG stops giving them money in a failed attempt to get people to realize that PPG (Pittsburgh Plate Glass, ffs) makes lots of paint and doesn’t even make glass any more).

            But I was thinking just more ‘ad-hoc’ games would be fine. “Yo dudes, I’ma be in town on the Eleventeenth and the Pens are playing the Blow Jobkets – wanna get tickets?”, that sort of thing.

          • Andy PepPep

            Actually they are playing the blow jackets at home twice around Christmas.

          • HawtDoge

            Totally forgot PPG sold all their glass stuff to Vita Coco or whatever… Wouldn’t that have been the best time to do a complete rebrand? Has that sale been fully finalized? I guess they don’t want to dump all the brand capital they have invested in PPG… ugh… BUSINESS!

          • Ungaba

            My mom has worked there for 20 years and she occasionally has to remind herself that the company existed before CARS. Since she’s a COBOL programmer, it makes sense, but still, it’s kind of crazy.

            Coatings and paint, that’s all they do now.

          • HawtDoge

            “Pittsburgh Paint Guys” FIXED IT

          • PensPointsYourMom

            #momjoke #NSFW #bukkake #jacksonpolluck

          • HawtDoge
          • Ungaba

            When I plug those hashtags into my PPYM translation device, the joke comes out the other end.

            And you’re right, #NSFW.

          • Andy PepPep

            My wife loves Pens games, too. Family outing?

          • Ungaba

            ABAM! As does Mrs. Ung! It’s a deal!

          • SouthSideGeno

            Wife Swap ‘meat’?

          • MoonStanley

            Film it and sell it

          • HawtDoge

            I’ll bring my dad, he’s gentle…
            (EDIT: meant to post this in reply to SSG’s “Wife Swap meat” dahn below 😛 )

          • Andy PepPep
          • HawtDoge

            Doo doo doo DOO!

          • Andy PepPep

            I still wanna meet that dad.

          • HawtDoge

            My dad is quite the character, having him around would probably greatly entertain all of yinz and maybe slightly embarrass me, but not to the point where I wouldn’t still be having a blast. He doan get out much anymore, so when he does, LOOK OUT! 😀

          • Andy PepPep

            I’ll take a loan out and buy his first Molson in the arena, if I’m there. My dad doesn’t do much either anymore.

          • Ungaba

            Well now I’m going to leave my wife home and bring my mom instead.

            Wouldn’t THAT be awkward!

          • HawtDoge

            She could introduce erreyone to each other… 😀

          • SouthSideGeno

            She’d only recognize us from the waist dahn though

          • Andy PepPep

            I wouldn’t be able to look her in the eye

          • HawtDoge

            cause she’d be wearing pants… presumably… wait, you weren’t talking about…?
            oh… nm 😀

          • Ungaba

            Have you ever from back there?

          • Andy PepPep
          • lauriruu
          • SouthSideGeno

            haha…IF I didn’t know what that really is…jussayin

          • Ungaba

            I’m pretty sure I’ll start seizing if I keep staring at it

          • lauriruu

            “Mom, put your pants back on.”

          • PensPointsYourMom

            …for you maybe…

          • lauriruu

            Yass please!

    • SouthSideGeno

      BOURBON…HAHA…I knew it!

      It was all really nice though UNG.
      You sure you can’t pay off my mortgage balance with yer Marriott Points?

    • Third Line Center Vlad

      I’ll be there with the wife. Ya Pheasants!

      • SouthSideGeno

        Is she gonna be ok around all the Chinese hookers?

      • Ungaba

        Brilliant! But bringing the wife is rather daring of you. I cannot promise you I won’t be ridiculous…

        • SouthSideGeno

          Guess I’m not gonna be able to wear my crotchless chaps then, hu?

          • Third Line Center Vlad

            oh no, she’ll be fine with that, she might make fun of you, just a warning.

          • Andy PepPep

            Tone it down. Assless only.

          • HawtDoge

            Aren’t all chaps assless? Isn’t that kinda like saying ATM machine? why do we do stuff like dis? WHAT’S HAPPENING TO US?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            WWW!!!!!

          • lauriruu

            PIN number?

          • SouthSideGeno

            6969

          • lauriruu

            Ty. I’ll just go and change it then.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I hate when my tongue gets stuck in the card slot.

          • lauriruu

            Ung’s mom said something about that once.

          • HawtDoge

            vagina withdrawta

          • Andy PepPep

            I prefer to leave a deposit.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            ABAM!

          • SouthSideGeno

            Can you imaging a jyna that pays off like an ATM…we need this!

          • SouthSideGeno

            Izat like the b0t jyna?

          • HawtDoge

            8008

          • Third Line Center Vlad

            NIC card….

          • Andy PepPep

            CNN News Network told me the ACT test was to blame for the confusion. I used my PC computer on my LAN network, but the RAM memory wasn’t working.

          • lauriruu

            The ankle slapper could be a bit much on the first date.

      • Jovi

        Shouldn’t it be, “3rd line center Coach Vlad”?

        • Third Line Center Vlad

          nope gave up the coaching duties… if this Center thing doesn’t work out though, my contract has the option to return to the bench…

  • Ungaba

    OK, some quick hawkey tawk now.

    This here guy used stats to re-prove that Sid is the best:

    https://twitter.com/PuckSniper_3/status/900554189754978305

  • UlfSammySon

    So I don’t have any PayPal or whatever online money transfer things. I’m weird with online credit card stuff. I don’t really want to get one only to pay for my Pens ticket either. Can I literally send someone a check when the time comes…?

    I swear it won’t bounce…

    • SouthSideGeno

      BOING

    • Ungaba

      How’s about you just UPS me a box full of nickels?

      • SouthSideGeno

        HAHA…I wonder how much that would cost

      • UlfSammySon

        Dat shipping… woof.

    • Ungaba

      Ulf, I will accept the terms of your agreement. Email penshockeyblog@gmail.com and ask them to forward your email to me. Then we can exchange the deets.

      • UlfSammySon

        Will do buccaroo.

    • Having that stuff online is legit safer than using it at Target, you know?

      • SouthSideGeno

        Uh oh ….management just showed up…erreybody look busy

        • If I’m not here to say “hey i told u” then WHO WILL

          My father/mother-in-law have had their credit card info stolen twice from Target / Best Buy. I use my shit online almost constantly and have never had an issue

          • SouthSideGeno

            *furiously knocks his wood

          • HawtDoge

            Only problem I’ve ever had was a skimmer on an ATM MACHINE.
            Wiggle those slots people, really work em, make sure they’re not fake slots…

          • SouthSideGeno

            Good advice….I always try to wiggle the slot as much as possible.
            Oh…keep pressure on that lil button at the top too!
            It’s difficult to see sometimes…but trust me…it’s there.

      • UlfSammySon

        Oh I know, I’m cash whenever possible.

        C.R.E.A.M.

        • HawtDoge

          “Cash Rarely Exists Around Me” 😀

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Is this week the season finale of GoT?

    • SouthSideGeno

      Yerp

      • PensPointsYourMom

        FRK!!! No thrones, no hockey, September is gonna be tough.

        • Andy PepPep

          Roll Tide

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Eat Shit

          • SouthSideGeno

            (woah….uh oh)

          • Ungaba

            That escalated quickly…

          • Jovi

            LOL

          • SouthSideGeno

            WE ARE

          • MoonStanley

            BANANA STATE

          • SouthSideGeno

            No, No, No…yer still thinking of Sandusky

          • MoonStanley

            He haunts my dreams

          • SouthSideGeno
          • Ungaba

            It was a shower, not a tub

          • SouthSideGeno

            There’s still a rotten banana in there somewhere

          • Crossing my fingers for this movie.. The hype is real.. But Stephen King ruins every movie / TV show he touches.

          • SouthSideGeno

            This one looked much better in the trailer than the stoopit original.
            I just hope they changed the ending and made it not a friggen space spider

          • I used to love the original!

            Went back last Halloween and watched it. Meeeeeh

          • SouthSideGeno

            I liked erreything but the ending…book included.

          • I hadn’t read the book but it figures you’d like a bunch of kids running a train on a 12 year old girl

          • Also, Stephen King is notorious for not knowing how to end his books

          • SouthSideGeno

            WUT?

          • iirc in the book they have to confront their fears and the girls fear is sex, so all the boys run a train on her

          • SouthSideGeno

            Oh…I forgot about that…figures you would remember it…hahaha

          • UlfSammySon

            It has not aged well…

            King’s writing style is so hard to translate into TV/movie form. They keep trying though…

    • MoonStanley

      I’m so far behind haha

    • Ungaba

      Also will be the longest GoT ever, so that’s something at least.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        how long? (srsly…its not a dick joke set up)

        • SouthSideGeno

          Aaaaw….rats

        • Ungaba

          I think 84 minutes.

          Which, supposedly, is how long they will ALL be next year. More like mini movies, really.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            sweet – thanks.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Soooooo long, Soooooo sweet

          • Ungaba

            It’s always dicks with you. Dicks, dicks, dicks. Here a dick, there a dick, in Wexford a dick, erreywhere a dick dick.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Hickory DICKery dok…

  • Nolongermyrealname91

    Meetup for a Blackhawks game? I’m not sure any of us can handle the shear amount of leadership and heart that will be displayed on the ice that night (Toews)

    • SouthSideGeno

      DUDE! where ya been? I only have one question for you…

      ARE YOU READY FOR SOME HAWKEY PORN?

      • Nolongermyrealname91

        Been swamped lately, stressed with a big move. Had my gf move in with her TWO kids so that’s been interesting. Probably explains why I was a cranky ass a few posts ago so sorry everyone who was in my path

        • shut up

          • Nolongermyrealname91

            this guy remembers

          • <3

          • It’s cool, no one else does. Except definitely Jovi.

        • SouthSideGeno

          I doan really remember that but…you dik. hahaha

      • Nolongermyrealname91

        And to answer your question, yes I am ready. Built a brand new power house gaming PC and i bought a MIC!!!! Let’s cross our fingers that the discord doesn’t occur during working hours though

  • GoT is ending but also… Narcos is starting!

    https://twitter.com/NarcosNetflix/status/893090347097534465

    • SouthSideGeno

      On my watch list…is it really good?

      • I loved it. Especially season 1. I have a feeling Season 3 will fall off big time but the first season (and second, too) are top tier television

        • SouthSideGeno

          I’m moving it up on the list…Finnish-ing up Bordertown now and will be in a Show Hole after that.

          • I’d watch Ozark first.

          • SouthSideGeno

            That’s on my list too.

          • UlfSammySon

            VOLTRON Netflix series is pretty RAD.

          • Ungaba

            That’s what my 17 yo daughter says…

          • UlfSammySon

            Grown ass men can like cartoons too 🙂

          • Ungaba

            I used to RACE home after school to watch Voltron.

          • UlfSammySon

            Before my time…

            Wishbone was my after school jam.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAs7sH2d_6I

          • Wishbone and Dinosaurs.

          • HawtDoge

            oh HELL yeah!

          • SouthSideGeno

            I used to race home to watch Dark Shadows

        • Nolongermyrealname91

          Waiting for Stranger Things. I still wanna ride Winona Ryder

          • Andy PepPep

            She stole my heart

          • Rad88

            Would you whine about something while doing it? Whining while riding Winona Ryder would be a killer story

          • Nolongermyrealname91

            Oh I’d be whining for sure 😉

          • Ungaba

            Whining while riding Winona Ryder

            Say that 5 times fast.

          • SouthSideGeno

            ST trailer looked frken awesome…can’t wait

  • Rad88

    Speaking of the 11/18 game, Brendan hasn’t said he was going. What are you? Some kind of Wizard of Oz behind the curtain only type!!?!?!

    • UlfSammySon

      Pay no attention to the jag behind the blog.

      • Rad88

        He’s the Jag that signs my paychecks

        • SouthSideGeno

          WUT? THERE’S PAYCHECKS?

    • Ungaba

      Seriously, people, can we get a friggin’ list? A REAL LIST PLEASE?!?!?!??!

      • Rad88

        I just emailed you. But I can edit this post real quick and make a running list

        • SouthSideGeno

          DO. IT.

          • Rad88

            Okay I did it. Let me know if I forgot anyone

    • I said I was going AND I set up a magical poll that no one helped me out with sooo

      • SouthSideGeno

        Wyncha whip yer poll out again and let us ‘help’ you with it?

      • Rad88

        I keep getting emails about your magical poll. THey tell me you’re a poll ALLSTAR and someting about woohoo with wufu

  • Had a reservation for PGH Steak Company for a rehearsal dinner next month (for the wedding)

    GUESS WHO JUST CANCELLED ON ME.

    Even though I had a contract! I want to murder everything.

    • SouthSideGeno

      Your fiancee?
      (she IS a smart gurl : )

    • Ungaba

      That’s it, it’s over, wedding is off.

    • lauriruu

      Well, they must be frking old by now. Who books a big rock band for a rehearsal dinner anyway?

      • SouthSideGeno

        HIGH FIN

        No Sugar Tonight…for Bren ; )

    • Rad88

      how dey do dat? A rezzie is a rezzie

      • Ungaba

        That’s how a reservation works. I reserve the time/space and you keep it for me.

      • SouthSideGeno

        “They know how to make a rezzie…they just doan know how to HOLD a rezzie.”

      • They’re apparently shut down

        • Rad88

          ohh well yeah, that would do it.

          • HawtDoge

            The specialize in industrial cereal varnish now. Sold their steak operations to Vitamin Agua or somesuch 😀

    • UlfSammySon

      Try Steak N’ Shake.

      • I’m afraid to use my credit card there.

        • UlfSammySon

          Whole dinner party would be like $50, you got that laying around somewhere.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            If you don’t, Ung will probably offer to pay for it.

        • SouthSideGeno

          Rudy’s Subs in Braddock Hills has lot’s of booths?

  • Ungaba

    Thanks, @notRad88:disqus, for the list. Of INTEREST.

    We need verification from your cretins that you will attend. Yes, there is still time, but tickets go on sale in about a week, so there isn’t THAT much time.

    • Rad88

      So far only Jovi and myself have given interest. The others have all said they will be there

      • Ungaba

        So that’s 8 confirmed. 9 if Vlad is getting 2. Dig it.

        • Rad88

          I like it. If we can get 15 we could probably swing a deal on shirts or somehting

          • HawtDoge

            If we’re saying bringing family members is cool, I might seriously get a hold of my dad and see if wants to come. He might make me seem more normal 😀

          • Ungaba

            I don’t think we could possibly apply any prohibitions as to who is/isn’t allowed to attend. He’ll just have to know that he won’t ‘get’ some of our inside jokes.

          • HawtDoge

            I’ll fill him in on the years of asinine stuff we’ve latched on to during the trip from B-more 😀

          • Ungaba

            You may want to go ahead and leave my mom out of it…

          • Rad88

            his dad most likely knows your mom

          • Ungaba

            I walked right into that one…

          • Rad88

            @el wray has contacted me and has been added to the list! He also brought up the idea of pregame meet-up. Any location ideas?

          • SouthSideGeno

            SOUTHSIDE…where else?

          • Ungaba

            My vote would be Smokin’ Joes.

          • Rad88

            I know nothing about cool places so I’ll let yinz handle it. I suggest not going to PGH Steak Company though

          • Ungaba

            Or Steak n Shake if paying with a CC

          • SouthSideGeno

            SouperBowl for Saturday pre-rev???

            http://www.souperbowlpgh.com/

          • el Wray

            I was looking at places close to the stadium, haven’t done SouperBowl. Cafe Fifth has a divey nature that betrays its more upscale name. I also think they have “full size” wings, which some people find to be a rare delicacy. Pizza Milano is just up the street and is similarly divey. Those would be my top two picks (that I’ve been to) if we want to be able to walk to the game after.

          • SouthSideGeno

            *stumble to the game after

          • HawtDoge

            *be carried by my dad after (which is the only reason i’m inviting him 😀 )

          • Ungaba

            The walking bit is the decider, here. Southside is definitely a drive/Uber/taxi situation. It’s a short one, but it would be required.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Souper Bowl is literally across the street from the Taint.

            I want to ask erreyone on here who, if anyone, is interested in hanging out with Fin & me on Friday night? We’ll be two lost & lonely sailors just into port with fistsfulls of Benjamins…any takers?

          • el Wray

            I want to be in the entourage when you go to Club Controversy to make it rain.

          • SouthSideGeno

            HA! I just drove past that place when we in PGH last week….it looked too scary…even for me : D

          • el Wray

            You just need some liquid courage. I don’t think that will be in short supply.

          • Ungaba

            I’ve got my hall pass for Saturday. Friday AND Saturday may push it. Of course, if Mrs. Ung and Jr. Ung were out of town…

          • SouthSideGeno

            Just tell em you have to go out of town (your home town, not lying : )

          • el Wray

            Yeah. If we’re planning on some kind of crawl on Friday night then SS would work well for that. Haven’t been to Smokin’ Joes (generally avoid the SS in the evenings TBH, love it for lunch though), but it seems like my kind of place.

          • HawtDoge

            Last time I was dahn dah SS, went to Jack’s (which is basically if Ollie’s was a bar, but the prices weren’t as cheap) and Urban Tap, which was a ghost town late night but can imagine is packed around dinner time. Anyway, I doan care where we go, as long as we can all comfortably fit in the same vacinity 😀

          • SouthSideGeno

            So, yer suggesting we all try to fit in the same “vicinity” …all at the same time, or are we gonna draw straws to select an order?

          • HawtDoge

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6ab21bde76c2791fbb2e07ded79eb53c80652bd03c5c2e660a1dd0e9a99cdc17.gif
            EDIT: posting this in this context caused me to laugh like that hoarse cartoon dog… muttly?

          • SouthSideGeno
          • The66thDopefish

            That gif is a pretty clear analogy for the Washington Capitals for the last few years. “Alright, let’s get going! Aha, we’re off and running full speed! We’re gonna make it this ti-*splat*”

          • HawtDoge

            YINZ INTO A PARTY BUS?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Oooooh…didn’t consider that. To get the most out of a rental like that we’d need to start early. Say….noon-ish?
            muahahahahaha

          • HawtDoge

            I used to know a guy who just had one… lemme see if he’s forgotten about that one time with the thing in the place… 😀

          • HawtDoge

            So, the guy I knew who had a “party bus” is no longer on facebook and his phone number is not right… BUT, I found a place literally called “Ron Partybus”, the “bus” seats 14, and one way trips start at $100, round trip $250, 6 hours for $550. WE CAN CALL THE DRIVER CAPTAIN RON! HOW CAN WE GO WRONG?
            https://www.yelp.com/biz/ron-partybus-pittsburgh?hrid=bZQfGZHmjIesJh-p2kE9rg

          • SouthSideGeno

            hahaha…only if Goldie comes along

          • el Wray

            There’s also the DD Limo. I haven’t gotten one since college but I remember it being pretty cheap. Plus we get to make DD jokes all night.

          • xpensfanSC

            i used to be at smokin joes like everyday circa 2009-11. I loved it. i miss that place. though last time i was there i was kinda disappointed seemed like it went downhill. they used to have 50 cent slider night and 55 cent wing night…holy fuck nuts. i once served beer there in my underwear….mostly blacked out of course. there used to be a server named melissa she was cool, always knew what i was there for.

          • Ungaba

            I think SSG and Fin will be driving that particular train.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Once we’re sure of the tickets…I will make Fin & my hotel rez…for Friday and Saturday nights. Soooo…once I have those details i figure we can make a ‘meat spot’ for both Friday night (for anyone interested) and then Saturday for pre-game revving!

          • Rad88

            totally didn’t realize the game was on a Saturday until 20 minutes ago. Now I’m super excited and almost positive I’ll be able to go

          • Ungaba

            *facepalm GIF that you can imagine that I don’t even need to bother searching for because you have seen so many*

          • SouthSideGeno

            (Doctor Braimb, teehee)

          • Ungaba

            I’ll mark that at 98.5%

          • HawtDoge

            SO DID SHE! (?)

          • SouthSideGeno

            Backward, on all 4’s

          • Rad88

            Ung, put me down for 95% sure I need two tickets, we just developed a travel plan that wouldn’t leave our dog alone. My Fiancée is DYING to meet all of you

          • Andy PepPep

            I don’t get half the jokes and I’ve been here for 6 months.

          • SouthSideGeno

            WUT? THERE ARE JOKS?

    • Door_Matt

      If I’m moving to the Burgh I’ll go.

      • lauriruu

        HIGH FIN

  • Rad88
    • lauriruu

      Frk that is nasty

      • SouthSideGeno

        HIGH FIN

        Do you live anywhere near the Finnish City of…Lappeenranta?

    • SouthSideGeno

      THAT’s our 2nd best Center…right der!

    • Ungaba

      I love ‘grey defender’ just raising his hand, palm up, like, ‘that is SO unfair’.

      • Rad88

        I know, but seriously it is.

  • Ungaba

    Since we’re in the wayback machine for this post, this article from Jon Bomboulie is worth a look:

    http://blog.triblive.com/chipped-ice/2017/08/24/taking-a-look-back-at-last-years-predictions/#axzz4qbqua3yE

    He reviews his predictions for the season and points out where he was right and wrong. Jon Bom writes gud wurds.

    • Door_Matt

      I remember when Rad trolled us all by creating fake sports news accounts.

  • SouthSideGeno

    Went to this place last week…good foods too, yauh!

    https://www.hofbrauhauspittsburgh.com/

  • MoonStanley

    Simon Depres to the KHL, LOL

    • PensPointsYourMom

      poor bastard, his braimb is scrambles.

    • Andy PepPep

      That sucks. People were livid after the trade for Lovejoy.

      • SouthSideGeno

        I wanted to keep Simple Simon. Not livid…just Hatesad.

        • Andy PepPep

          Maybe not you, but lots of people were calling for GMJR’s head.

          • MoonStanley

            And instead, Simons head exploded

          • SouthSideGeno

            Does it take less braimb to play in the KHL?

          • HawtDoge

            Imagine if you will, a country where the continued mental health of their star athletes is even LESS valued than the United States. You’ve just crossed over to… THE… uh… RUSSIAN… zone?

          • lauriruu

            Slovakia – the Russian zone?

          • SouthSideGeno

            HEY

          • Penguin in Houston

            Too far south

          • Andy PepPep

            In all fairness, the European game has far less hitting.

          • SouthSideGeno

            …I like the larger ice surface as well..it favors skilled players…too bad the Chel can’t ‘increase their size’ …of the ice : D

          • Andy PepPep

            Won’t happen. Gotta pack those lemmings in. They has moniez.

          • HawtDoge

            I like when the Olympics use the larger ice, so smooth, much flow

          • lauriruu

            But the real ‘magic’ in KHL is that the bluelines are so much more closer to each other than in the Olympic rink.

          • HawtDoge

            Oh come on, can’t we all just make fun of Russia for ONCE?! 😀

          • Andy PepPep

            Adidas tracksuits.

          • MoonStanley

            FUCK Russia!

          • Penguin in Houston

            Ask Jagr

      • Rad88

        I certainly was, even GMJR said that was his biggest regret when it came to trades while managing the Pens. I can’t believe he is even allowed to play in the khl

    • SouthSideGeno

      That makes me feel Despres

    • Penguin in Houston

      Hope his Russian is good.

    • Ungaba

      Sad as well. His poor mush braimb.

  • Andy PepPep

    During the ’16 run, I remember the series prediction metrics had the Pens as the favorites from the very beginning. Did anyone see of those charts from this postseason?

  • SouthSideGeno
    • Andy PepPep

      I’m getting PTSD remembering how terrible those movies are.

      • Ungaba

        Easy there bucko, that’s from the first one. Which was good.

        • SouthSideGeno

          The best one…fo sho

          • Ungaba

            112 days to next one. But I swear, if they blow up another damn Death Star/planet I’m done.

          • SouthSideGeno

            And how the frk does THIS guy inspire Darth Vader fear in ANYBODY
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9f41e42883043230c7ec8e27c42d3fdee64deab555bb244cb5e4b597ff1a371a.jpg

            #NOTMYVADER

          • Andy PepPep

            I automatically give him my Starbucks order when I see him on the screen. He missed his real calling. #baristafuck

          • SouthSideGeno

            I doan mind him as a actor…Just not DARTH ‘Hipster’ VADER…

          • UlfSammySon

            I don’t care for him that much in the role, but I do like seeing a young somewhat “untrained” Sith who can’t control his temper.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Yoy talking bout Ung?

          • HawtDoge

            People seem to have a lot of hate for millennial types, maybe they were just trying to tap into the current mindset of the nation? 😀

          • SouthSideGeno

            Def a ticket sales ploy to get him for that part

          • Andy PepPep

            Where else can you go from there? They climaxed in the first one (ep. IV).

            Its like blowing your load while taking your pants off….wait a little bit and do it again.

          • UlfSammySon

            I saw Adam Driver mention that episode 8 is very similar to Empire Strikes Back. I mean I’ll see it, but come on.

          • SouthSideGeno

            ugh

        • Andy PepPep
          • SouthSideGeno

            MOMMY MAKE IT GO AWAY…IT BURNS

          • MoonStanley

            He’s a SITH!!!!!

        • MoonStanley

          I, too, enjoyed episode 1. I’m looking into Machete viewing order. Supposed to be a fun way to view them all, but it can neglect that episode depending who you talk to.

          I have time to kill.

      • SouthSideGeno

        hahaha…yuh, looking at them now…but then…cutting edge graphics.

    • Ungaba

      Love it. Nice work SSG!!

      • SouthSideGeno

        So bored at work…no hawkey for 40 moar days and 40 moar nights…whut’z a boy to do

  • SouthSideGeno
    • Ungaba

      Wow if you’re doing that work has to really suck bad.

      • apparently not bad enough

  • UlfSammySon

    There are some good spots within walking distance to the arena to get our drink on!

  • Penguin in Houston

    It’s things like this Harvey crap that I dislike about where
    I live. Fuq off Harvey!

    • Andy PepPep

      Hopefully it doesn’t strengthen as much as projected. Best wishes to you.

      • Penguin in Houston

        THanks!

    • UlfSammySon

      Hunker down and stay safe!

      • Penguin in Houston

        TY

    • SouthSideGeno

      We have extra rooms at our house…*75 Sunny and no humidity for the past 3 days and all next week!

      Batten dahn the hatches and be safe.

  • Door_Matt
    • Jovi

      Hahahaha. Someone was bored

      • Door_Matt

        I didn’t do this, but someone at Arby’s social media dept did!

    • Ungaba

      I don’t get it…

      • Door_Matt

        The little decorative thing is Professor Chaos’ mask. Professor Chaos is Butters’ supervillain character. Arby’s gives you diarrhea like those meal replacement drinks that SSG bought a case of.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    @lauriruu:disqus The World Air Guitar Championships are in Oulu tomorrow.

  • MoonStanley

    I’m in a hot tub and life is a-okay

  • RadioBirdman79

    Anyone here like The Pixies?

    • MoonStanley

      Yeah, but where is my mind? I can’t find it

      • RadioBirdman79

        They were kind of big when I was in high school, and I never heard ANY
        of their songs though. Until the last couple months. They have one song
        in regular rotation now on XM radio. Its decent. But I tried to
        listen to some of their other stuff on You Tube….. I can’t get through
        any of it

        • MoonStanley

          I don’t follow them at all, but “Where Is My Mind?” on the Fight Club soundtrack was perfect. That’s about as far as I’ve gone with them.

          They remind me of Built To Spill.. really good bands that I can’t get completely into, but have a lot of respect for.

          • RadioBirdman79

            It literally took me 27 years to hear ONE Pixies song..

          • RadioBirdman79

            Oh yeay! I now know TWO Pixies songs. I remember that one from Fight Club

          • MoonStanley

            Woohoo!! Haha

          • RadioBirdman79

            Good track. DEFINITELY fit into that spot in the movie.

          • MoonStanley

            I wore out the vhs haha

    • HawtDoge

      Debaser is one of my top… I doan know, maybe 20 songs ever?

      • MoonStanley

        MoonStanley has added this song to their list

        • UlfSammySon

          Good move.

  • Jovi

    Stay safe. A Cat #1 should be fine, unless your area floods fast

  • UlfSammySon

    So I’ve been trying to sleep on my back the past couple nights, because it’s supposedly the best way to sleep. I can’t do it; I feel like I’m in a coffin or something.

    Any of you heathens sleep that way and can attest to it’s restful glory?

    • MoonStanley

      I sometimes clasp my hands on my chest like I’m literally in a coffin haha. Try a pillow on your chest and rest your arms on it.

      • HawtDoge

        I have done this as well. Or make a pillow ramp and sleep with your torso slightly elevated. Is that considered cheating? 😀

        • UlfSammySon

          Wheee! Pillow ramp sounds fun!

        • MoonStanley

          Try that for ladies during sexy time hehe. Also, body pillows are good for snuggling if you sleep alone

      • UlfSammySon

        That’ll be my homework tonight.

        I sleep well on my side, but too often I wake up all sore in my shoulders from flopping around like a damn fish outta water and laying all twisted.

        • MoonStanley

          Ditto! More pillows may help. I build a little nook each night and sleep “behind the wall”

          • UlfSammySon

            Slothy’s night nook.

          • MoonStanley

            I like it! Put on some Tycho, Emancipator, or Boards of Canada and fuuurrrrgetttaaaboutit

          • UlfSammySon

            Dude, Tycho is great music to fall asleep to. I think we kinda talked about this. You missed their most recent show here in Pittsburgh, right?

          • MoonStanley

            Yeah! Was so bummed that I had no friends who wanted to/could go. AND then the Pens lost! I’m going next tour fo sho

          • UlfSammySon

            Do it, bud. Great show. Perfect for a nice night outdoors just chillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllin’

          • MoonStanley

            I’m glad you had fun. I should have gone anyway and met the Ulfmeister!

          • UlfSammySon

            Next time. Unless…you ain’t coming back…?

          • MoonStanley

            Time will tell. I’m blowin in the wind like Bob Dylan right now. Will have to come back sooner or later after my family goes home. What better time than to see Tycho? 🙂

          • UlfSammySon

            Amen, brother.

            Keep enjoyin’ that freedom 🙂

          • MoonStanley

            Amen. Will do! 🙂

        • HawtDoge

          That’s sounds like a mattress issue. If you have the cash to blast invest in something that seems ludicrous. My next move is trying a “Purple”. I have a handful of friends that say it’s out of this world for side sleepers, which I mainly am. Sometimes my lower back bothers me and the pillow ramp is my only savior.

          • UlfSammySon

            Is the purple one of those super magic foam mattresses they send you in the mail? I’ve had a few friends try those things and have given me excellent reviews.

          • Door_Matt

            Not gonna lie, adding sleeping on my back greatly increased my ability to sleep in any situation.

          • Andy PepPep

            I bought a Bear mattress and its great. I’m a side sleeper, too.

    • Door_Matt

      I sleep on my back every night. The hardest part is getting the right support for your neck. Try to make sure you have a good pillow for back-sleeping.

      • HawtDoge

        Yeah, great point. As “bougie” as this may sound, I found some latex based Ralph Lauren pillows at Macy’s for super cheap that have awesome neck support and made a huge difference.

        • UlfSammySon

          I love me some Macy’s bargains.

          • HawtDoge

            My grandma has some weird ex-employee Macy’s charge card discount that even works with sale items, so if you’re ever in the Harrisburg areas lemme know and we’ll go deal hunting and squeal together like lil school girls! 😀

          • UlfSammySon

            Bring that shit Nov. 18th. Macy’s hereeee weeeee comeeee!!

      • UlfSammySon

        Some articles even said to not use a pillow at all. But it makes my neck all stretchy.

        • Door_Matt

          That’s dumb. Those articles are probably Lifehackers that want to survive on that diarrhea juice SSG bought and a sleeping bag in a Public Storage unit.

          • UlfSammySon

            Agreed. I do hate that about the internet. Any jag can write an article and claim it’s the ONLY WAY TO DO THINGS OR YOU’LL DIE.

    • Andy PepPep

      Dude….Ikea has some cheap 13 dollar memory foam contour pillow. Pretty firm. I have used this pillow since I got married in 2012. Now I only get a stiff neck on vacation. I can’t recommend it enough. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cbfdf557f181f3071bff987627763714e833b879c392f7fc6b5365dce772c09f.png

      • MoonStanley

        I love the curvy ones!

        …that’s what she said

  • randy

    Did I miss anything? JR make any trades? Any new signings? Jagr bang your moms yet?

    • randy

      Oh I want to go to the game in Nov. but I’m already a little starstruck. If Toews is in the building, I could go in shock. Also, what if Kane bends some of us over a barrel? We got a contingency plan?

      Edit: Toews Leadership, Esq.

      • lauriruu

        I doubt you’ll even notice Toes.

        • randy

          You will address him properly. By his proper name.

          • lauriruu

            Jonathan Toes?

          • randy

            Toes, esquire.

          • lauriruu

            What is he? A guitar?

          • randy

            Nope. A nobleman. Soon to be Sir Jonathan A. Toes.

      • UlfSammySon

        We take bets on who cries first!

    • Door_Matt

      Ur mom called Jagr’s old pager number and got a call back from a phone sex operator in Uzbekistan.

      • MoonStanley

        And now she’s on a list

      • randy

        In my best Borat voice.. NIIIIICE!

      • HawtDoge

        I TOLD GRANDMA TO LET IT GO!

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Old Eddie Vedder looks like Benjamin Bratt

    • HawtDoge

      Mind… blown… 😀

  • UlfSammySon

    Aliens making out?

    • HawtDoge

      “Aliens softly porking, for sleepy time”

      • MoonStanley

        That would either be really jarring or relaxing as F haha

  • Door_Matt

    Sorry if I seem salty tonight, my boss has me on call to finish up some work tonight so I have to keep checking my email to know when I need to start working.

    • UlfSammySon

      IT?

      • PensPointsYourMom

        THE!

        • MoonStanley

          THEEEEE!!!

      • Door_Matt

        Supply Chain

        • UlfSammySon

          Don’t let the salt rule you.

          • MoonStanley

            WE > SALT

    • randy

      Funny. I’ve got your mom on call too.

    • MoonStanley

      It happens! Hang in there

  • HawtDoge

    My mom and dad and step dad worked at Wannamakers too… it’s a weird cult thing I think…

    • UlfSammySon

      Is your last name Wannamaker??

      • MoonStanley

        DOX HIM! 😀

        • HawtDoge

          You want my social? 😀

      • HawtDoge

        Hahahaha, I wish, I’d go play that organ in Philthy whenerrey I want! Wait… that sounds bad…

  • randy

    A long time ago I was hanging out with my girlfriend’s cousin. This was around the time my kid was born in 2000-ish, and we were talking about scoring a good email address, and he said he really wanted devilscannabisboy_69@hotmail.com but it was taken. I shit you not. Anyways, someone, I think Ung, mentioned the “Cool Guy Zone” and that reminded me of that. Hence the name change. I wanted to be cool again. But for yinz, I will always just be randy.. especially for ur moms.

  • RadioBirdman79

    So have you guys ever done a meetup before??

  • HawtDoge

    Anyone use Steam and have problems getting games to update? Tips? Just the tips? 😀

    • UlfSammySon

      Just PS4, i don’t mess with that PC stuff.

    • Door_Matt

      Haven’t used Steam on a Windows machine in ages. Maybe try reinstalling the game?

      That was the fix last time I had the issue.

    • SouthSideGeno

      The last time I used Steam was when the 2nd Half Life game released…I think that was like 1823 ; )

    • The66thDopefish

      Uninstall them first?

      • HawtDoge

        I tried, I think the people saying that the update for the game I’m playing is available for mac are liars, I tried everything and fell asleep on the couch 😀
        Only thing I miss about my PC daze is that most of the games I wanted worked, and the updates came out when they were supposed to… generally…

        • SouthSideGeno

          PC GAMIMG RULZ…frk all else : D

  • Penguin in Houston

    Alcohol is helping!

    • MoonStanley

      YessSsSs!

  • lauriruu
  • SouthSideGeno

    Gamornin yinz frkers

  • SouthSideGeno

    #hamanegger

  • SouthSideGeno
  • SouthSideGeno
    • MoonStanley

      Hahahaha

    • randy

      Are you the boner or the bonee?

  • MoonStanley

    I talked with a congressman. The senators handshake was limp. Zinke is one cocky dude.

    I may be in a press photo or two. That was an anxiety haven

    • SouthSideGeno

      No pic…never happened…bawhahahaha

      • MoonStanley

        I’ll post it if they do haha

    • Andy PepPep

      I know how you feel. Presidents, VPs, secretaries of blah, and Air Force higher-ups would always come to our squadron for tours and its so stressful and awkward. Such is the life of a gubment employee.

      I’d always request off those days. 😉

      • MoonStanley

        I was put on the spot as my supervisors supervisor used me as a talking point haha

        • Andy PepPep

          Horrifying. Were you warned?

          • MoonStanley

            Nope. Cake and fork in hand, “hey, this is one of our bright interns… blah blah”

          • Andy PepPep

            I’m sure you looked pretty. Do they give coins out, or is that only a military thing? My buddy got one from Biden.

          • MoonStanley

            That would have been sweet. No coins that I saw. It’s also the park services 101st birthday

          • Andy PepPep

            101?! Geno should have given a speech.

            “like, parks good. Little bit, like, beautiful, like, celebrate nature, you know, like, make 101- not matter”

          • SouthSideGeno

            #russianhack

          • Andy PepPep

            You know you read that shit in his voice.

          • SouthSideGeno
  • PenguinPelts

    So what have I missed the last two days?

    • RadioBirdman79

      Hhhwwhat have you missed?

    • Penguin in Houston

      A hurricane is bearing down on south Texas.

    • Andy PepPep

      LOST of super exciting Penguins hockey news. We learned that 87 is a really good hockey player from his practice with Marchand. SSGeno has an affinity for Asian prostitutes. Also, Ung is very generous when he’s drinking bourbon.

  • Jovi

    This is making the rounds;
    I instantly knew it would have a special place here
    https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2925279300828443&id=146505212039213

    • Andy PepPep

      One scratch is okay
      Two scratches are okay
      Three scratches is borderline
      Four is playing with yourself
      This is masturbation

      • SouthSideGeno

        #skratchin

    • SouthSideGeno

      Kanga…oooooooo

    • MoonStanley

      Hahahaha thank you, Jovi

  • PenguinPelts

    I recently read that NHL 18 will feature the expansion draft, so you can build the Knights. Might be worth buying just for that.

    • Andy PepPep

      I would never want to pretend to be George McPhee. Actually, I did DL the trial and it was a blast.

      • UlfSammySon

        I just want it to be super arcadey. I know people hate the puck “sucking” to players, but holy crap every game I played turned into trying to pick up the puck!!

        • Andy PepPep

          Even online against the better players, people are always overskating the puck.

          • UlfSammySon

            Skating near anyone makes them lose the puck. It’s just a losing-the-puck-fest. I only got through like 3 online games. Honestly, gimme a new Mutant League Hockey and Football and I’ll be set. Good graphics and tons of gore would be so much fun.

          • Rad88

            NHL Hitz was the best drinking hockey game ever. I would love for a New on what if those to drop

          • UlfSammySon

            Yesssssss! You get me, man.

          • Rad88

            Dude I kept my original Xbox for 3 years just to play that game, I get it

          • UlfSammySon

            Damn, you’re so…. Rad.

          • MoonStanley

            Used to have Hitz tournaments haha. That was so fun

          • Rad88

            Man I loved the challenges. “Check opponent through glass 5 times” I might buy an Xbox again just for that game again

          • MoonStanley

            They need to make a new one REAL bad

  • SouthSideGeno
  • RadioBirdman79

    So…. is Ung a guy or a girl?

  • randy

    Our weekend plans are literally up in smoke, so instead we’re gonna stay one more night in Washington. Any recommendations? We’re sleeping in the back of the truck, so no need for a campsite, and we have 4×4 capabilities.

    • SouthSideGeno

      Just anywhere but near Yakima/Hanford Nuclear Waste Site…you think the smoke is bad.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      where in WA?

      • randy

        Right now, just camped out in a Walmart parking lot in Tacoma. Good timez.

  • MoonStanley

    Holy shit. Check Secretary Zinkes twitter to find me

    • MoonStanley
      • UlfSammySon

        Where’s that Sloth? Bottom left? Middle left?

        • MoonStanley

          Geno nailed it!

          • UlfSammySon
          • MoonStanley

            Hiding a boner under that folder, probably

          • UlfSammySon

            Your presence does that to older men.

          • MoonStanley

            Hehehe

          • SouthSideGeno

            Izat you coming dahn the steps too?

          • MoonStanley

            Lol what steps?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Oh…in that lower pic that Ulf just posted of Lehey?
            Ya Trailer Park Ranger

          • MoonStanley

            Ohhh haha, you mean Sexian? He’s so fine with that drink in hand

          • Door_Matt

            Fuckin Lahey! Get off the stage you drunk asshole!

          • UlfSammySon
          • Door_Matt

            Oh shit, Julian! There’s Lahey, we gotta create a distraction.

          • dude some of the people in that audience were fucking unbearable. Glad they got yelled at

          • UlfSammySon

            I’m assuming you had to have been there?

            like ships passing in the night, we were…

          • SouthSideGeno

            You putting the crimp in the hat of that Park Rangerette to your left there?
            She’s looking at you like the future Mrs Moon Stosh…jussayin

          • MoonStanley

            Lol another friend said to get on that. I’d crimp it

          • Andy PepPep

            You’re a government employee and this is considered sexual assault now. Tread lightly.

          • MoonStanley

            Our president has said way worse, and people still voted for him. I’m in the clear haha

          • SouthSideGeno

            Rangerette Grabber?

          • MoonStanley

            Grab em by the Ranger hat

          • SouthSideGeno

            You need to get yerselfe a bear rug and a fireplace and yer all set to hammer some tent pegs

          • Andy PepPep

            Being voted for and having some bullshit policy ruin your life are different, unfortunately. I saw one of my airmen get threatened with dishonorable discharge for saying how “hot” the new girl is. Pretty absurd.

          • MoonStanley

            Very absurd and I would never talk like this in front of people. Tis a joke for you internetters

          • Andy PepPep

            I understand. I’m just an old guy giving you a heads up. You should totally pork her, though.

          • MoonStanley

            😉

          • Door_Matt

            Hormel or Hillshire Farm?

          • Andy PepPep

            Free range porking

          • SouthSideGeno

            Agreed…(almost) none of wut I say on here is true ME…all in fun?
            Except for the stuff about UNG, of course.

          • Jovi

            In the front like a prim-a-donna

          • UlfSammySon

            If you got it, flaunt it!

          • MoonStanley

            I thought about busting into jazz hands

          • SouthSideGeno

            Yuh, but he get’s all da hawt camping spots

      • SouthSideGeno
      • MoonStanley

        They had 3 cameras going and must have picked the worst-timed shot possible

        • SouthSideGeno

          Nonsense…#handsomesloth

      • SouthSideGeno

        I made another shop out of this…but it’s soooo naughty…I can’t post it.

        • MoonStanley

          Lol easy there

          • SouthSideGeno

            I know…I know…I’ll send it to you as a Christmas card.

  • Rad88

    Finally got an apartment, only had 10 days left so not bad timing

    • SouthSideGeno

      Congrats! Let me know when my room is ready ; )

      Where is it? What Boro?

    • UlfSammySon

      Nice! Where on the Island yinz gonna be?

      • Rad88

        Closer to Queens in Great Neck. It was tough finding a dog friendly place. We are a block from the train station so only 30 minutes to The city

        • UlfSammySon

          All you jags and your cities with proper public transportation.

          • Rad88

            I’ve been in Savannah for the last decade.. we have buses or something here but it ain’t proper

        • SouthSideGeno

          Great Neck…that’s just dahn from Great Head, right?

          • HawtDoge

            Jus above Great Mounds? 😀

          • SouthSideGeno

            A hop, skip and jump from Great Valley?
            Excellent bean picking kuntry.

          • Andy PepPep

            No, Hidden Valley. By Beaver’s Trench.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Ahhhh yes…Hidden Valley…where the brown bears go.

          • Door_Matt

            Be careful around Great Mounds, I hear they’ve artificially enhanced the area recently.

    • Door_Matt

      How many dead hookers including your ex-GF?

    • MoonStanley

      Congrats, Rad! Movin on up!
      I’m twitter famous, and you still got way more likes than me 😀

  • HawtDoge

    Hey erreybody… find a new job for me that pays good and is easy and is outside and is like 3 days on 4 days off.

    What?

    Why are you all looking at me like that?

    • SouthSideGeno

      Dead hooker removal service technician….On Sat/Sun/Monday mornings…sit in tub of antibacterial/antiherbiez solution for 4 days…repeat.

    • Andy PepPep

      ssgeno, are there any mob positions opening up?

      • SouthSideGeno

        *see below…

    • MoonStanley

      Join the NPS! Start as a seasonal

      • SouthSideGeno

        …and BANG HATS with THE Slothie!

        • MoonStanley

          And trap bears!

      • HawtDoge

        I said one that paid good… 😀

        • MoonStanley

          Ranger positions can pay around 75k/year on average

          • HawtDoge

            Isn’t competition for those jobs like super… competitive? 😀

          • MoonStanley

            Depends if our President keeps slashing our budget

            You would probably have to be a seasonal for a few years, but I don’t see any people struggling

    • randy

      How much cocaine can you fit in ur bunghole? I know a guy… the job is totes outdoors

  • Thoughts to PiH, hope youre doing OK

    • Jovi

      Yeah. Hope you got your bread and milk

  • SouthSideGeno

    I didn’t know they liked that?

  • SouthSideGeno

    DOAN SEND THAT SHIZ UP HERE…I just waxed my car : /

    • Penguin in Houston

      Well, I doan want it!

  • SouthSideGeno

    HEY UNG…u mad bro? : (

    • Penguin in Houston

      At you?

      • SouthSideGeno

        We publicly cross-gendered him earlier while his back was turned…scroll dahn.

        • MoonStanley

          So salty 🙂

          • SouthSideGeno

            Yuh….I think we really might have hurt her, him…both of em.

          • MoonStanley

            He’s a big boy/girl. Didn’t even comment on my picture tho

          • SouthSideGeno

            He might be traveling…flying the friendly skies of All Ways airlines?

          • MoonStanley

            We <3 you, Uncle Ung!

          • SouthSideGeno

            All Ways : /

          • Ungaba

            I am most assuredly, 100%, not mad at anything. If I don’t stay mad at Capt. Salty, MR, there’s now way I can stay mad at any of yinz.

            Dickhead.

            😉

          • MoonStanley

            Awwww!! 🙂

          • SouthSideGeno

            …shucks

  • SouthSideGeno

    YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO GET HERE FOR THE 11/18 GAME!

  • SouthSideGeno

    HEY @lauriruu:disqus

    My ears are burning…are you over there talking about us at yer cannibal festival?
    Maybe I’m just too close to the grille

    • MoonStanley

      I feel the weird vibes

    • lauriruu

      You are not wrong!

  • Door_Matt

    I think Moonie tricked us. That’s not him in the picture. I found a real picture of him… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f17478842f3e1827a303c9a9f6054e7cecdfd13daf47f820f39f52508924231e.jpg

  • Ungaba

    Amen, you RUN AWAY from that ocean, lady!

    • Penguin in Houston

      It’s a gulf, not an ocean.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Pens invite Jay McClement to camp on a PTO, 34 yr. old C, last 3 seasons with the Canes. 5G 3A in 65 GP last year. Basically next year’s Cullen we hope, and not a Klinkhammer reboot.

    https://www.hockey-reference.com/players/m/mccleja01.html

    • Midnight Rider

      This is not the dad you’re looking for.

      • UlfSammySon

        He’s out there somewhere…
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXOlaxxKJIs

      • PensPointsYourMom

        so true

        • PensPointsYourMom

          Wilson says he’s the second coming of Craig Adams.
          http://www.hockeybuzz.com/blog.php?post_id=87079

          • Midnight Rider

            The first coming of Craig Adams was plenty.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Meh, Adams was pretty terrible his last two years as a pen, but he had some better moments earlier. Not saying the criticism is undeserved, just that he wasn’t the worst 4th line center ever.

          • Midnight Rider

            Adams was fine in the role of “we don’t expect anything except PK ability from our 4C.” But Cullen was a huge part of the Pens winning back-to-back Cups. Cullen’s 2 seasons for the Pens: 32 pts, 31 pts. Adams never put up 20 points in a season with the Pens (he posted 21 pts with the Canes, one season).

            Adams was awful, despite earning cult legend “CFA” status somehow.

          • Midnight Rider

            Playoffs (for Pens)–
            Cullen: 49 GP, 6G-9A-15P (2 seasons)
            Adams: 77 GP, 7G-5A-12P (6 seasons)

          • PensPointsYourMom

            you’ll get no argument from me that Cullen was a huge upgrade at 4C. In fact I think it would be hard to point to a 4C on any team that did more than Cullen. But comparing Adams to Cullen is like comparing Sid to Ryan O’Reily. One is one of the best players in the world at what he does, the other plays the same position. I’m not an Adams fanboy by any means, but he was an average 4C, Cullen was an exceptional one.

          • Midnight Rider

            Not that it’s easy to find, but the key difference between Adams and Cullen was that Adams was a career plug while Cullen was a career top-6 player on the downswing. Don’t know if GMJR can strike gold again, but NcClement is definitely not a Cullen replacement.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            My thought exactly, find the 38 year old former star who still has some legs left. I thought Wilson’s take on the McClement PTO as an opportunity for McClement to showcase for other teams was pretty interesting. Esp. given GMJR’s Carolina connection. I also don’t put it past GMJR to be hunting another player, and using a McClement PTO to soften a trade partner as to the pens “need.” But realistically I think if McClement makes a decent impression, he’s a penguin on opening night.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Why are we not talking about Vernon Fiddler for a 4th line role?

    • Door_Matt

      Yeah, good thing this is a try-out. He’s not going to stick. Just sign Jagr already and let him carry a Baby Pen on the 3rd line.

      • Midnight Rider

        And who are the Pens’ better 3C and 4C options right now? I’ll hang up and listen.

        • Door_Matt

          Okay, you have a good point in the lack of C depth, but I’d rather not waste it on a player who was obviously unproductive. Does he even have a hero chart to show if he’s worth 3 or 4 C time?

          • Midnight Rider

            Yeah, I’d rather not have him as the 3C either. But it seems there are currently no better options, so the chances of him making the roster are high at this point.

            Not at panic-level yet, but the Pens seriously don’t have a better 3C option than him outside of Guentzel, but (1) not sure Guentzel can carry a line; and (2) wingarzzzz for Sid.

          • UlfSammySon

            Screw it, give the keys to Aston-Reese.

  • lauriruu

    Ha ha ha stayin’ alive

  • PensPointsYourMom

    A Wilson-McClement-Reaves fourth line does not excite me.

    • Midnight Rider

      I suppose this is the cost of back-to-back Cups.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        worth it! still not cool.

        • Third Line Center Vlad

          It’s. The. Forth. Line. relax.:)

  • Jovi

    Keep safe PiH. Just heard the hurricane is now a cat 4.

    • Midnight Rider

      Co-sign this. Hope you are somewhere safe, PiH!

  • lauriruu

    Morning sauna✔️

  • Rad88

    In response to PPYMs Wilson-McClement-Reaves fourth line thoughts below… if you’re going to ice that fourth line and it’s no secret that winning a 3rd championship in a row is damn near impossible, why not develop ZAR on wing with Rowney at center and let them slowly learn the game at the NHL level? Wilson/Kuhnhackl-Rowney-ZAR, take a hit this season but the benefits from growth are worth it. That’s why I feel the McClement thing is to make the Pens look a little less desperate to other GMs

    • PensPointsYourMom

      I don’t think the pens are folding on a 3peat. I do think the moves this summer, or lack thereof, indicate a team that is acutely aware of the long term impacts of overpaying players. I agree there are 2 or 3 players that could use a development year in the NHL, or as call-ups. But there is not a player in the Pens system right now that will replace Bones or Dad in the next few years. I think a trade/signing is coming, maybe not until the trade deadline, but its coming.

      • Rad88

        I agree, and it’s good to see them not diving in and falling into a Chicago like situation. I doubt we will have to wait until the deadline for a trade going off of his track record when looking for key pieces: Perron from Oilers January 2, Hagelin January 18th, Daley (FOR SCUDERI LOLOLOLOLOL) December 14th

  • SouthSideGeno

    When I first saw the estimated rainfall totals for ‘Cane Harv’ I though…that must be a misprint on the graphic and they meant 4″ (RAD) or 14″ (PPYM) ….but WTF NO!

    40 FRIGGIN INCHES OF RAINFALL ON TEXAS???

    I seriously hope PiH has a boat…(and a ‘lil man’ in it to row ; )

    GOOD LUCK PiH…stay safe and dry kiddo! Let us know yer ok when the power comes back on.

  • PensPointsYourMom
    • SouthSideGeno

      How High Sir?!