The Case for Jaromir Jagr

But he’s old

Yes, he’s old as dirt. But he played 82 full games last season, which is more than 97% of Penguins players. His average time on ice was 17:00 which is higher than Bonino and Hornqvist’s. Speaking of Hornqvist, Jagr had more points than him last season. Playing in Florida. I’m not sure I can even name another Panther. Actually, if you were to ask me to name all 31 NHL teams I would most likely forget about the Panthers entirely.

“I feel like I’m dying alive. … I don’t feel comfortable here right now”

Pittsburgh is still divided on Jagr. I was one of the jabronies who booed him during his first game back in Pittsburgh, and I don’t regret it.

Why did you boo him, you idiot? Only dumb idiots boo him.

How quickly we all forget the summer of 2011 when Jagr was golfing with Lemieux and rumors started swirling. Everyone in Pittsburgh had their hearts in a tizzy about Jagr coming home to fulfill his legacy and win a cup (or two) with the Penguins. It was all over the papers, and TPB started JagrWatch.

Shero then made an offer and waited.. And waited.

Jagr then responds by signing with the worst team in the league, our most hated rivals.

Why would we not boo him?

It’s not like he just jumped ship from the Penguins. We’re not going to cheer him as a long-lost love. He hadn’t played for the Penguins for 11 years by that time.

Then to add insult to injury Jagr made some off-hand remark about how people who boo him are like a clingy ex girlfriendΒ (or something, I can’t find it online now, kudos to you if you can). And went on later to talk about how Crosby’s attitude was “only hurting himself.”

I don’t boo Jagr anymore. He plays for the Panthers.

 

Should we risk grabbing Jagr?

  • Yes (65%, 55 Votes)
  • No (35%, 29 Votes)

Total Voters: 84

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  • Happy Friday!

    • UlfSammySon

      I love it. I’m all for a Jagr reunion.

      • Ungaba

        Hear hear!

        Or is it ‘here, here’?

        Regardless, I concur. He’s still a point machine too!

        • UlfSammySon

          And that butt.

          I mean, try and knock him off the puck.

          • Ungaba

            DAT ASS, DOH

  • PensPointsYourMom

    At the right price, I’d be in on Jagr, esp. if he promised to retire after his stint with the pens (nostalgia is a hell of a drug). I worry about the “locker room personality” stuff as its been said he doesn’t get along with Sid and maybe Geno. Also the pens don’t really need another RW, but who cares about that (looking at you disco)

    • Ungaba

      I didn’t know that ‘its been said he doesn’t get along with Sid and maybe Geno.’ Where did you hear that? Just curious.

      • Penguin in Houston
        • Ungaba

          Love the translation. So terrible. Thanks for sharing!

          FWIW, I’m sure this is water under the bridge and wouldn’t mean a damn thing if Jags came back.

          • Door_Matt

            I agree. Sid and Geno are pros just like Jagr and I’m sure they can look past it if Jagr doesn’t actually feel that way

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Here.

        • Ungaba

          What’s great is that you could be being a smart ass or you literally could have heard that here, on this site. Either way is legit and both are in keeping with your personality.

          • Well, on the post you’re commenting on

          • Ungaba

            Yeah, and credit to PiH for finding the original support for that!

  • Penguin in Houston
  • Jovi

    I’m ready for a reunion just so I can stop hearing about ‘how we need a reunion’.
    I agree with PPYM, one year for cheap and retire.

    • HawtDoge

      Yay WAY up

    • Ungaba

      Only if it’s on your forehead

    • The66thDopefish

      …would he be backing up into bushes, or your skin?

      • skin

        • The66thDopefish

          approved

        • lauriruu

          Butt skin?

    • SouthSideGeno

      Have him backing up into yer crotch hairs…or NO

    • j-b0t

      Only if you get it tattood as him hiding away into your pubes.

      • SouthSideGeno

        I said that 45 minutes before you…are you “glitching” again?

        • j-b0t

          weird. That comment was NOT there when I commented.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Yup, glitching. Re-boot, then say three ‘Our Asimov’s’ prayers for robo-pennance.

  • HawtDoge

    Is this womens World Championship game live? Am I watching a replay? At some random BBQ place in Pennfield PA drinking a Busch Light cause it’s a dollar. Tastes like quarters. Waiting on my college buddies to bro down and then head to a cabin in a couple hours for a weekend of fuckery. So… that’s my Friday update… πŸ˜€

    • Ungaba

      Busch Light is a dollar because if they charged any more nobody would buy it.

      THAT sounds like an awesome weekend. ENJOY!!!

      • HawtDoge

        Good point! And thanks! Remember that inflatable island? It’s in the bed of my truck RIGHT… NOW…

        Didn’t get the bento boxes or rubix cubes tho…

        • Ungaba

          If it’s fuckery you’re after, you have no time for bento boxes and rubix…

          • HawtDoge

            I know RIGHT? Thank you for the needed affirmation πŸ˜€

    • HawtDoge

      It is a replay… duh…

    • UlfSammySon

      You going to Parker Dam? I’m originally from around that area.

  • lauriruu
    • SouthSideGeno

      Loved this movie
      HIGH FIN

      • lauriruu

        Nope. I’ve never seen this. Netflix has been suggesting it for months though. Maybe I should give it a go?

  • RadioBirdman79

    14 votes FOR Jagr…..

    http://i.imgur.com/0fEYRAz.jpg

  • lauriruu
  • SouthSideGeno

    18 votes for 68….bitches ; )

    • Jovi

      Is this like how Jake the Snake lost in votes?

      • PensPointsYourMom

        #fakenews

    • Door_Matt

      JAGR COME HOME! PITTSBURGH IS HOME!

  • PensPointsYourMom

    I bought and ate some Ruffles all dressed chips at lunch, I wanted to see what the fuss is about. Now it feels like a swallowed a hand full of thumb tacks, they were pretty good tho.

  • Jovi

    Evgeni Malkin’s twitter page is blowing up this summer. He must be paying someone to update it daily.

    https://twitter.com/malkin71_/status/888451813585727488

  • jagrmeister

    You gotta think the price is why jags isn’t signed. But he’d be a great addition to the 2nd PP unit if we could bring him in cheap

    • Door_Matt

      At 2m/1-yr and he retires after this season, if I’m GMJR I’d pull the trigger in a heartbeat.

  • j-b0t

    Just….stop.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Tatar 4 yrs at 5.3mil AAV
    Wangs now 3 mil over the cap, they’ll have to move at least one player before the season starts.

  • lauriruu

    I’m guessing it’s a “wearing the skin of my enemies” situation.
    https://twitter.com/malkin71_/status/888495070579744769

  • Penguin in Houston

    He’ll probably get signed to a tryout contract by somebody and if he doesn’t settle for that, he’ll retire.

  • Jovi

    Since it goes with today’s theme: its a podcast.
    Not sure if this was posted aleady

    http://www.thehockeynews.com/podcast/article/the-hockey-news-podcast-why-won-t-anyone-sign-jaromir-jagr

  • Penguin in Houston
  • UlfSammySon

    A band we played with had this as a patch.

    ‘Shop Phil’s head on it πŸ™‚ https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/393ed8a60da99673a7634b20ff1cf1da3ce7938862ebe39c7176860ca238f2b5.jpg

    • Jovi

      Does ‘it’ have a wiener hanging out its mouth?

      • UlfSammySon

        Huh. It definitely looks like it.

  • This is the most dead this blogs been all year!

    • This post is dying alive

      • Andy PepPep

        Rocky V is on. Sorry.

        • Midnight Rider

          Anything is more interesting than “the Pens should get Jagr back in 2017” topic.

          • Midnight Rider

            How is the poll 25-12? All voting is suspect these days. Probably 1 Brendino vote and 24 Russian bots.

      • Midnight Rider

        Needs hawter taeks. Eff to the no on Jags. Although he would fit with the 2018 Pens: “bigger, slower, grittier”

      • j-b0t

        This post deserves what it gets.

    • SouthSideGeno

      That’s cause. ..missing me.

      I’ll start posting TIDDY pics…k?

      • lauriruu

        Please & thank you.

  • Midnight Rider
  • SouthSideGeno

    4am and I just got back into my own bed after a week of fappen in Beaverville.

    Gotta get up in 5 hours and drive 4 hours to Penn State. Then drive back on Sunday to be at work on Monday.

    I’ma travelin fool!
    Faaaahk…

    HIGH FIN…I got the envelope…yer da best! I’ll share it later when I have some time.

    • lauriruu

      Drive safe!

  • lauriruu
    • MoonStanley

      That sounds fookin delish!

      • lauriruu

        It was pretty nice

        • MoonStanley

          I’m gonna have some Space Dust tonight

          • lauriruu

            Elysian?

          • MoonStanley

            Yep! So good and I love the moon on the label haha

  • PensPointsYourMom

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/727097f19c94962ae070b3d2b7f6c4c61907c30898dbb157bd443f5356b20b65.gif

    …that moment when you realize that you weren’t crazy about signing Jagr, but meh, and then remembered you’d have to spend 82 games hearing Bob talk about his ass, and so you’re decidedly out on Jagr.

    • Jovi

      I guess you’re not a butt-man

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Or maybe I am…but just don’t like hearing Bob talk about Jagr “protecting the puck with that big backside”

        • lauriruu

          Keep talking…

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Oh my gawd…how did this not make the rounds on the 4th…
    https://twitter.com/Benstonium/status/882282445755875328

  • CWB

    Dumo filed for $4.35M, Pens countered with $1.95M. Quite the gap there…

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Actually, I’m really happy about that. If I were Dumo I would have asked for at least 5.5.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Compare Dumo to Andy Greene (NJD) at 5 mil per, or Tobias Enstrom (WPG) at 5.75 – both 32 years old right now.

      • Midnight Rider

        Why are the Pens playing hardball with Dumo? Sheary I kinda, sorta understand, but Dumo I don’t get.

        • Midnight Rider

          His agent should roll with “look at what they pay Maatta,” mic drop, and out.

        • Rad88

          It could’ve beena sneaky play by GMJR to make sure he doesn’t overspend. Offer super low unrealistic offer, let the player counter offer, send to arbitration and get a contract done somewhere near players offer. I, like PPYM, thought Dumo wold want over 5 so I am pretty satisfied if GMJR gets him under contract for anywhere between 4-4.3

  • Penguin in Houston
    • MoonStanley

      Okay

    • lauriruu

      Those arms are more like my arms.

  • lauriruu

    How are yinz doing?

    I’m a little drunk. I had a gig tonight and all is well. I had a drink with a raw egg, cucumber and dill vodka. Weirdest thing I’ve ever had. Not bad though.

  • Jovi

    48 voters!
    Communist!!!!

    • j-b0t

      Almost a 2-1 ratio exactly. Cue x-files theme.

  • Jovi

    I’m not crying…I’m not crying

    https://twitter.com/walsha/status/888763978192752641

    • Midnight Rider

      Tears of happiness?

      • Midnight Rider
        • Midnight Rider

          This is not a good version of the song, but it’s the best youtube has to offer.

      • Jovi
        • Midnight Rider

          Expected Liam Neeson. Beers on me when you get here.

          • lauriruu

            Just wait by the phone. He will call first, erreytime.

          • Midnight Rider

            I’m on my phone. Inception?

          • Jovi
          • Midnight Rider

            Shop “I will find you” on that and we’re good.

          • Jovi

            she not homicidal enough.

          • Midnight Rider

            … enough? Beers still on me when you get here.

          • Jovi

            I will put it on my ‘To Do’ list.
            – Beer with MR
            – Hose off SSG
            – Help sloth free the tigers at the zoo

          • Midnight Rider

            Phew! I thought my name was going to be preceded by “torture and kill” on your list. I would recommend a firehose for SSG, don’t want to get too close.

          • Jovi

            ummmm, let me check my other list. Oh, yeeeeeah, about that beer.

          • Midnight Rider

            Frk! I knew it. Beers first though, deal?

          • lauriruu

            Why not have both? The obvious answer to all yinz beer and torturing needs is beerboarding.

          • Midnight Rider

            I could get on board with that idea.
            *insert David Caruso .gif*

          • Jovi

            BOOOOOOOOOOOO.

            Later, off to bed. Must be up for work tomorrow πŸ™

          • Midnight Rider

            I looked up the etymology of the word “enough” … English is a funny language.

          • Jovi

            Enough – “used for emphasis.”

            – I’ve never thought of it that way.
            MR turning this into an education blog.

          • Midnight Rider

            Inception style: look up the etymology of “etymology”

            And I’m not high, I swear

          • lauriruu

            I have learned plenty of anatomy here, also.

          • Jovi

            Oh, please. I’m sure you have plenty of ‘anatomy’ under your bed right now.

          • lauriruu

            Oh no. I go to the woods for ‘anatomy’

          • Jovi
          • Jovi

            is this code?

          • lauriruu
          • j-b0t

            This got the best laugh out of me all day. Well done.

        • Penguin in Houston

          Doan be such a gurl.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            sessis

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Dear GMJR
    Quit frking around and sign Dumo for 4 yrs at 3.75. If he goes to arbitration and gets a one year deal, the pens are going to regret it.
    PPYM

    • UlfSammySon

      Agreed. I get it, but I hate all this posturing crap.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Dumo is a player that cannot be replaced for his potential salary. He’s the kind of player every GM in the league would want. Stop frking about with it.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    How does NSH have so much cap space?
    The lost Neal this off-season, and Mike Fisher may retire.
    But they signed Bones (4.1), Emelin (3) and Hartnell (1). Then resigned Arvidsson (4.25) and they still have 14.5 mil in cap space with really only Ryan Johanson and Austin Watson left to sign, and basically its the same team the played in the SCF last year but with better offensive and defensive depth.

  • lauriruu
    • PensPointsYourMom

      good “job” Nick Hand

      • lauriruu

        Which brings us (me) to dick cheese. Thanks braimb o mine.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          “Hand Made” dick cheese?

          • Randy

            Richard Fromage, 2nd leading goal scorer for Les Habs, 1971, 72, 73, and 75.

    • lauriruu
      • Jovi

        he deserves to be an alternate

  • UlfSammySon

    I’ll get a show set up πŸ˜‰

  • lauriruu

    Obligatory Geno social media update.
    https://twitter.com/malkin71_/status/889184420573458432

  • lauriruu
  • PensPointsYourMom

    So, I know I’m a broken record when it comes to this but:
    http://nhl.nbcsports.com/2017/07/23/habs-may-lean-more-on-montoya-to-keep-price-refreshed/
    http://nhl.nbcsports.com/2017/07/23/red-wings-would-like-jimmy-howard-to-play-50-55-games/
    tl;dr – 2 articles. 1 says the Habs want Price to play fewer regular season games. The second says the Wings want Howard to play 50-55 regular season games. Its a shame the rest of the league is catching on, but the value of putting in a “fresh” Murray in the playoffs the last two years has gone sneaky underrated.

    • Midnight Rider

      So the Habs paid Carey $10.5M/yr for 8 years and plan on playing him fewer games? Beautiful. What kind of backup goalie do they think they can afford?

      • PensPointsYourMom

        They signed Montoya to a 2 year extension…so…mmkay (If you were thinking of mentioning Niemi, don’t)

        • Midnight Rider

          Good catch. Price + Montoya = $11.56/yr (Montoya makes $1.06).

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Yeah, Price is just too expensive. I question whether any goalie is worth what they’re paying him, esp. on that term. But Habs gonna Hab I guess.

          • Midnight Rider

            That’s too much for a backup too when your #1 goalie is making more than Crosby or Malkin.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Montoya is cheaper than Ryan Reaves…too soon?

          • Midnight Rider

            Never. (In my book at least)

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Reaves says he’s gonna score 10 goals, and get in 10 fights this year. Still not worth the money or the roster spot, but if he did that, I’d back off ripping on him…. a little.

          • Midnight Rider

            I’ll take the under on both. I’ll also take the under on number of playoff games Reaves plays in (whatever number you want to set it at).

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Im pissed about the Dumo situation. Dude should’ve been signed a month ago. I don’t care about Sheary.

          • Midnight Rider

            Agree, Dumo is sneaky good, especially if he’s only asking for 4 and change. Sheary is good with Sid and that’s worth something. GMJR’s passivity this summer is puzzling. Outside of that Reaves trade.

          • Midnight Rider

            I feel like he’s slow-playing a trade for a 3C. No idea who he’s targeting though.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            which is the most troubling part, I’d understand if they said “we’re not paying a SC tax, see yinz UFA’s later” and didn’t do anything. But the moves they have made, have been bizarre.

            Re Sheary: Give me any winger in the league with speed and decent hands, put him on Sid’s line (with Jake) for a season and I’ll be he scores 20. I don’t think Sheary’s special.

      • Midnight Rider

        Next season, Murray + Neimi = $4.45M. (Fleury is making $5.75M next year)

  • SouthSideGeno
    • PensPointsYourMom

      that costs extra

      • SouthSideGeno

        Just got back a lil while ago…my entire body is vibrating from non-stop traveling for the past 72 hours.

        I took tomorrow off I think I’m just gonna sleep till Tuesday morning.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          night night…mmmmm vibrating body

          • SouthSideGeno

            hahaha, yuh…I’ll check back in when I’m me again.

          • Jovi

            Relax SSG. Get a mani-pedi tomorrow.

        • lauriruu

          Remove the plug to cease the vibrating!

  • Ungaba
    • lauriruu

      WOO-HOO!

  • RadioBirdman79

    Pens Agree to Terms with Defenseman Brian Dumoulin on a Six-Year Contract

    https://www.nhl.com/penguins/news/brian-dumoulin-resigns/c-290481986

    • Ungaba

      So I see that you are sticking around. That is good.

      Dumo is worth that and the 6 years of cost-certainty is good for a quality, 25yo defenseman. I approve.

      • RadioBirdman79

        Yeah, you guys are nice.

        • Ungaba

          Hey, frk you, buddy – don’t go spreading that BS around. We can be total pricks, I assure you.

          Also, your Mom thinks I’m nice. I tell her I don’t care as long as she keeps paying.

    • Andy PepPep
  • Ungaba

    This blueline seems pretty OK to me:

    https://twitter.com/JMackeyPG/status/889497867160887300

    • Andy PepPep

      There will be either a Letang or Schultz on the ice for roughly 50 minutes a game next season. Wow.

      • Ungaba

        See, it’s statements like this that frk us in the A. Jinxed!

        But yeah, if those guys can stay healthy, that’s pretty much awesome.

        • Andy PepPep

          If my words carry that much weight, I’m severely underemployed.

    • The66thDopefish

      I don’t know why “poor Chad Ruhwedel.” He’s better than Pouliot (at least, so far as what we’ve seen) and the odds we lose any of those defensemen for an extended period of time are incalculably high. So unless there on no injuries on the blue line this year I expect to see him with 30+ games again this year.

      • lauriruu

        Maybe he meant literally poor.

        • Ungaba

          This. He’s probably sad he doesn’t have more loot.

        • The66thDopefish

          Oh, well, play more hockey then

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Very nice.

      • Ungaba

        Right? That’s not bad at all, especially if LeHair can stay healthy. That’s a big if, of course, but if it happens, good things, man. Good things.

  • The66thDopefish

    No but Pouliot could play wing

    • Ungaba

      Likely just as bad as he plays D? I’ll pass on that.

  • Ungaba

    Meh, we’ll get one of those next. Not to worry!

  • Andy PepPep

    I feel like Rutherford just woke up from his celebration-induced hookers and blow coma. Now it’s time to make some moves.

    • Ungaba

      I’d argue that he finally has consumed enough Ensure to off-set the 2 days of drinking too much Coors Light and champagne. But I guess it could be hookers and blow. He had to meet his young Asian wife somehow…

      • PensPointsYourMom

        rassis

  • Ungaba

    $6M for Sheary and a 3C. That sounds do-able to me:

    https://twitter.com/CapFriendly/status/889497991228346368

    • PensPointsYourMom

      yeah, that’s pretty tight, but now that Dumo is signed, I could kinda care less what happens to Sheary. Need that center tho.

      • lauriruu

        I agree.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          I’d rather see the pens let Sheary walk and spend the 6 mil on a bitchin’ center than sign Sheary and get relegated to Dickface McGee. Having said that, there aren’t really any UFA centers left worth a shit, so, who knows.

          • Ungaba

            So you’re saying you DON’T want Dickface McGee? Even though the hilarity that would ensue here would be epic? Pssssh, OK, bub.

            – Sign Jagr for $1.5
            – Sheary for Bozak
            – Sign Bozak for $4.5

            Done and done!

          • Andy PepPep

            Yep

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Maatta for JVR and Bozak, TOR retains 1 mil, Sheary walks. See what happens and sign either JVR or Bozak long term.

          • Ungaba

            No Jags????????????????

            OK.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            nope I’ve been lukewarm on Jagr all along, then I posted this weekend that it occurred to me we’d have to listen to Bob’s “Ode to Jagr’s Ass” all season and I became decidedly out on him.

          • Ungaba

            Also reminds me that we are DONE WITH PAUL!!! I hope Steve Mears is good.

            Also, Root no longer exists. Quite the offseason of change!

          • PensPointsYourMom

            was it uprooted?…..here all week.

          • Jovi
          • Ungaba

            BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

            AT&T Sportsnet.

            Really rolls off the tongue…

          • PensPointsYourMom

            isn’t that the shit from Terminator that comes alive and wipes out the human race?

          • Ungaba

            Skynet, but Sportsnet is Phase I of Skynet, so… yeah.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            fuck it, its Skynet to me now.

          • Ungaba

            Jay got ‘upgrades’ during the off-season, too. This is all making sense now…

          • Jovi

            I like it.

          • Jovi

            AT&T sucks!
            i have them for cable; lame-nuts.

          • Jovi

            What is ‘Root’ called now?

      • Ungaba

        GMJR likes it tight…

      • Jovi

        6 million for Sheary sounds ridiculous. He can get 2.5-3.

        • Ungaba

          No one is suggesting that for Sheary. You’re right – 2.something is all he should get.

          • Jovi

            My bad, missed the “and” part

        • PensPointsYourMom

          6 million for Sheary is ridiculous. But if he gets 3.5 that leaves 2.5 for a center. I’d rather have a 4 million center and no Sheary.

          • Jovi

            I don’t mind keeping sheary, but i don’t want to over pay. We already have so much turn-over this year.

          • PenguinPelts

            If some stupid team comes knocking and offers a pick and nice prospect for Sheary I would definitely consider it.

          • Ungaba

            Yeah, I’m with you and PPYM on this. Sheary can make the next guy work just fine.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Meh, we lost Bones, MAF, Daley, Hainsey and Streit.

            The last two guys were rentals straight up, never going to keep them. Daley, meh. So we lost Bones and MAF, that ain’t bad for B2B Cups and an expansion draft.

          • Jovi

            kunitz (not that i’m crying about that one )

          • PensPointsYourMom

            oh yeah…good call, forgot about Kuni. That one hurts.

          • Penguin in Houston

            That looks so sad altogether.

          • Jovi

            see I told you! its going to be different. imagine all the new names you’re going to have to learn.

          • Ungaba

            Yeah, like 4.

            Chicks… so emotional.

          • Jovi

            “Siri, find me Ungab.”

          • Ungaba

            ‘Peters Township, PA’. The rest is up to you.

    • Broken Coach Vlad

      Sheary will get 3.25 for 4 and they will have 3 million for a 3C, they will pick somebody up around mid season and only have to pay out 1.5 – 2 million of that contract. they will probably pick up a solid D for around 1.5 million right now.

      • Ungaba

        Vladdy outta right field!

        I think they’re done collecting the D. Monies will be used on the 3C, as you say, and maybe not until into the season, and that’s fine by me.

        • Midnight Rider

          Unlike your mom, who never stops collecting D.

          • Ungaba

            πŸ™‚

        • Broken Coach Vlad

          Yea, just got back from Cancun last night… fly out to vegas for Defcon on wed.

  • Ungaba

    https://twitter.com/NHLhistorygirl/status/889504084256071680

    Man the Flyers are such dicks. But since this hosed the Preds, and now the Habs, I actually kind of love it.

    • Jovi

      14 years!
      LOL.

  • PenguinPelts

    Really like that Dumoulin deal. Looks like he was thinking ok, you gave Schultz the money, I’ll take the term. Can breath a little easier now.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Agree. Nice to have a solid D wrapped up long term, Olli Mulligan.

    • Penguin in Houston

      Plus PiH has a Dumo signed puck!

      • PensPointsYourMom

        PPYM also likes to refer to himself in the third person.

        • Ungaba

          Ungaba, not so much.

        • Penguin in Houston

          I knew I’d get shit for that. Lol

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            Just like how I will get shit for my playoff meltdown… forever…

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Caps in 7?

  • PenguinPelts

    And no thank you to Jagr. Live in the now, Penguins fans, don’t cling to the past. He was great when he was in Pittsburgh, he’s been really good since coming back, but those season numbers don’t show his drop off post-All Star break.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Jagr is the guy you get when you’re not a legitimate contender, but still want to put asses in the seats. I’m out on Jagr too.

      • lauriruu

        Come on! Jagr takes up two seats at the most!

      • Penguin in Houston

        I voted against as well. He broke my heart twice so Frk him. Never again!

  • lauriruu
    • Jovi

      I’m happy to keep Dumo in town. For me, defense is a major priority.

    • Penguin in Houston

      I’d be thrilled to be a multimillionaire too.

  • Jovi

    We still need a 4th line center too.
    #Cullenwatch

    • PensPointsYourMom

      ZAR or Rowney can fill that role if need be, not as well as Cullen, but they can.

      • Ungaba

        100% this. Rather have Cullen, but meh, we will survive.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          I’d MUCH rather have Cullen, but the 3C is the role to fill, we can figure 4C out. Besides, with Reaves on a 4th line wing, its not like that line is gonna do much anyway.

          • Ungaba

            Always bringing it back to your Reaves hatred, rassis.

            I don’t get why everyone wants to write-off Reaves before he’s played a game as a Pen. I guess I’m the only one who’s excited to see what he can do.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I have hope for Reaves. I just look at his stats and how long he’s been in the league, and have to conclude that he’s not an offensive juggernaut who’s been unfairly relegated to fighting. I think he will have a break out offensive season, which is 8 to 10 goals. Those are Scott Wilson numbers, no offense to him, but I don’t consider that high-volume offense.

          • Ungaba

            I don’t care about high-volume. Just some volume.

          • PenguinPelts

            In fairness, Reaves has only played for Ken Hitchcock, who is not a coach that screams up-tempo and heavy offense. He’s definitely a defense-first coach.

          • Penguin in Houston

            I’m excited cuz Sully gets the most out of players.

          • Jovi

            Agree, I think he will be more productive in Pitt.

          • Rad88

            I’m surprised GMJR hasn’t talked to Ryan White. Same price as Cullen last year, and grittier which is what JR wants for some reason

          • Rad88
          • Ungaba

            If those are the numbers, that’s a big ‘no thanks’ from me. Cullen was actually GOOD at age 28.

          • Rad88

            Cullen was also not really a fourth line center and we nee to remember that. 13 goals out of a fourth line center is not the norm and shouldn’t be what the replacement is held responsible for

          • Jovi

            Damn kid, what, did you already have this saved to your desktop!

          • Ungaba

            That’s ‘Dr. Kid’ to you, young lady!

          • Jovi

            who you calling LADY!

          • Penguin in Houston

            Do you know how to use the interwebs? Such a silly housewife. Lol

          • Rad88

            haha no, i just went through capfriendlys free agent list and looked at centers. White is the only one at Cullens cost that has scored. Outside of players like Laich, Umberger, Fischer who all want 4 mil +

          • PensPointsYourMom

            The UFA’s left are for shit. There are some teams that MUST move players for picks or prospects because of the cap. TOR and DET chiefly. That’s where the 3C will come from. not those teams necessarily, but via trade.

          • Jovi

            Younger, less productive Culllen. Mmmm, lets keep looking.

          • Ungaba

            ‘Cause reverse rassis?

      • Jovi

        Less than 2 months to Pre season. Gotta complete this lines soon-ish.

  • Jovi

    heheh. I thought about my audience.

  • Midnight Rider

    Great Dumo signing. 4.1 is going to look like a bargain in a few years.

    • Rad88

      Completely agree. Tough on Maatta now, sucks when you make the same as the guy next to you that wins employee of the month every month

  • PenguinPelts

    Why is everyone so down on Maatta exactly?

    • Jovi
    • Rad88

      Because Scuderi left midseason and Maatta was the easiest target for new whipping boy and he has held that role since then. Fortunately for him I have a feeling Reaves may challenge. I have no real Maatta hate

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Money and term vis a vis quality of play I think.

      • PenguinPelts

        Ya his foot speed is strangely slow. But the NHL games always have him ranked as a great blue liner. Doesn’t that count for anything?

        • PensPointsYourMom

          no.

          • Penguin in Houston

            Simple, but to the point.

    • Penguin in Houston

      Cuz he’s slooooower than a sloth and he can’t hold his alcohol.

      • Jovi

        I can forgive the drinking. But he is so slow. When he first started, he had Letang like wheels and moves. Then he came back from his first injury all wrong. The way he played in the WSH series was a glimpse of what he should be. But its too rare of an occurrence. I like Maatta, but I was also ride-or-die Scuds, sooooooo, yeah.

        • PenguinPelts

          2014-15, he has the shoulder surgery, has the thyroid cancer removed, re-injures the shoulder and has a second surgery, got the mumps, broke his hand last year… nothing really leg or foot related except for the shoulder stuff, which trust me, fucks with your balance and posture and all that jazz.

          • Jovi

            soooooo you’re saying he’s slow and injury prone. check.

          • PenguinPelts

            I wouldn’t call that injury prone. Beau Bennett is injury prone. Having a labral repair, coming back and re-injuring it is common, and very scary. And getting cancer doesn’t mean you can’t stay healthy, that’s just foolish thinking. And all he suffered last year was a broken hand, which is another common hockey injury.

          • Jovi

            Yeah, yeah, he’s young and has been through a lot. I’m not bashing him for his adversities. I was just so impressed by him when he first started. I also forget that he’s only like 22 or 23. Maybe this will be his breakout year.

          • Jovi

            Where is SSG to defend his man?

          • Ungaba

            Sleeping off his West Coast Bender.

        • jagrmeister

          Dumoulin = scuds 2.0?

          Scuds was great in his 20s and early 30s. A definite PK stud (I remember that year they had no 5-3 GA almost a whole season and he was a big part of that), that was prominent defensively and could move the puck up adequately. Just fell off a cliff when he was older. A thing to keep in mind 6 years from now when dumo is ready for his next contact

          • Ungaba

            At age 31, I feel pretty comfortable saying that Dumo still won’t be as slow as Scuderi was at 31.

      • Broken Coach Vlad

        I don’t think he is too slow.. he started to pick it up in the last round. He was pulling almost Letang minutes for some games. He got exposed at times but didn’t let it stop him. I thought he was pretty clutch at times in the finals. I think he has finally got past the injury bug and that his speed will increase this season. I think he grew as a player this playoffs because he had to. I think he has more upside than we think. He wasn’t a total S.S.Hal Gill

        • Penguin in Houston

          Someone needs to teach him how to handle the beer.

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            He might have been partying for like 2 days straight at that point.. they all kinda looked blew out at the end of the parade. When Geno passed us he was sitting down on the side of the truck with that look on his face that says “I am not sick, I am just blew out and done”.

        • PenguinPelts

          That’s what I’m saying, the potential is still there and much higher than anyone else in the system or out there as a FA.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I’d take Dumo at 4.1 vs Maatta at 4.1 any day of the week. I don’t think Maatta’s “bad” I think he’s replaceable for less than money he makes.

    • The66thDopefish

      I’ve been wondering that myself. He’s 22, he’s still got plenty of time to grow, and we all know he’s talented. I thought he looked better as the playoffs went on. He will get better, and I’d rather have him get better with Pittsburgh.

      • PenguinPelts

        I remember a lot of analysts during this last run saying they thought he was playing some of the best hockey not just for Pittsburgh but in the entire playoffs. Every defenseman is going to get burned at some point.

        • The66thDopefish

          For a 22 year old, he’s a solid defenseman. Looking at all of his 22yo peers isn’t completely fair because a lot of those guys are on weaker teams, playing as those teams’ #1 defenseman.

  • Andy PepPep

    Not sure why people are so down on Sheary, either. Dude sucked for 2.7 rounds of the playoffs, but was a stud in the regular season.

    Sheary had as many goals as Kessel (in 21 fewer games), had more goals and assists than Hornqvist, Letang, Bonino, Kunitz, AND Cullen. He also had more points than Hagelin and Rust COMBINED, who had 57 more games played. He also lead the Pens in GWG and did almost all of it at even strength.

    Yes, some stats might be inflated because he regularly played with generational talent, but half the team gets to play with generational talent. Sheary isn’t as replaceable as most people here think.

    • Jovi

      I like sheary, he’s a good player. He got hurt during the end of the season and was never back to 100%. I want to keep him, jI ust don’t want to over pay.

      • PenguinPelts

        Ya, let’s just not have a Tyler Kennedy situation here.

        • Andy PepPep

          TK never had a season close to CS’s this year. And this was only his second year.

          • PenguinPelts

            But was this a flash in the pan, or a really good player that 30 teams slept on and led him to being undrafted? Make a bridge deal, show everyone you can do it again, and then you can get a better deal.

          • Andy PepPep

            That’s exactly what I was thinking. He hasn’t earned huge money yet, but he’s good enough to warrant a large deal if he’s as good this season. He’s easily worth $3 mil based on last year’s production.

      • Andy PepPep

        Looking at his numbers, I was a bit surprised. He easily outperformed every single forward on the Pens not named Sid or Geno. And honestly, if you take away PP numbers, he’s not far behind them.

  • PenguinPelts

    Austin Watson re-signed by Nashville as well, $1.1 million a year for three years. Those players must love playing there because Poile is making some really good signings.

    • Andy PepPep

      Delusions of grandeur.

      • PenguinPelts

        They still have $13 million left in cap space, which they will use to re-sign Johansen, and they were able to keep their d-corps together. That’s pretty impressive.

        • Andy PepPep

          I agree, but no way in shit they outplay their ability like they did this spring. Plus, teams will be gunning for them in a very good division.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Unpopular opinion alert: Rinne is a beast, except when he’s not. Dude is streaky as hell, as we saw in SCF this year. He played lights out for 14 games and then

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Rinne is a beast, except when he’s not. Dude is streaky as hell, as we saw in SCF this year. He played lights out for 14 games and then completely shit the bed. Go look at his game by game splits, its pretty much who he is as a goalie, world class play punctuated by shit burgers. Hard to think they’ll win a cup with him in net.

          • Ungaba

            I seem to recall some folks thinking MAF was the same way…

          • PenguinPelts

            I wonder if they’ll try seeing what Buffalo would want for Lehner, who is a RFA.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I was going to make that point, but didn’t want to rub sand in the wound. He was/is that way, or at least he has been the last several years.

            FYI Rinne posted a .978 SV% vs the Blackhawks. His Save % was .838 against the pens with 2 sub .675 outings, and .714 on the road, frking woof!

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Let me put it differently….he allowed 11! goals on 45 shots in the city of Pittsburgh.

          • HawtDoge

            Because he’s not used to playing in a “real” hockey town. Only possible explanation… πŸ˜€

          • Ungaba

            Woof indeed.

          • j-b0t

            And the penguins only made it back and won when he became the backup, what point are you trying to make here?

          • Ungaba

            Don’t get all flippy wiggy. I am merely pointing out that people said the same thing about MAF. Sheesh meesh!

          • j-b0t

            Don’t get cute with me! Qualifying that statement with “i seem to recall” and ending it with an ellipsis implies that by pointing that fact out people would be mistaken to say rinne is too inconsistent to bank on for a cup.

          • Ungaba

            MAFs inconsistency was ‘good enough’ for them to win a Cup with him at the help, and win two more with him as a backup (thought 9/16ths of the wins is nothing to sneeze at, and he was pretty fucking good for most of those 9 wins). So yeah, I may have been being a little cheeky.

            Also, Rinne has zero Cups. MAF has 3 Cups.

            3 Cups > 0 Cups

            And he’s cuter than Rinne, too.

          • Door_Matt

            Let’s pump the brakes here. Rinne and MAF are streaky, but the key difference was that MAF’s partner is Jesus and Rinne’s partner is some guy I had never heard of until the Pens hung 3 more on him.

  • lauriruu

    I have a new favourite GoT character.

    • PenguinPelts

      Is it the writer who decides every time something good actually happens they end the episode?

      • PensPointsYourMom

        something good happened in last nights episode?

        • PenguinPelts

          Not really.

          • Jovi

            Greyworm thinks differently

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Excuse me waiter?! there’s a grey worm in my hair pie

          • Jovi

            Ayra must be making the pies again

          • Andy PepPep

            Blech

      • Ungaba

        That’s pretty standard since… pretty much ever. It’s called a hook, you see. πŸ˜‰

    • PensPointsYourMom

      it would have to be the Arch-Maester, there are no other new characters this season so far, ooooo….Ed Shearhan?

      • lauriruu

        I thought it was obvious. Guess not.

        • HawtDoge

          Grey Worm’s ghost dingus?

    • Jovi

      who is it?

      • lauriruu

        Let’s say the character really made me Sunday

        • Jovi

          I hope you remembered to clean off the remote. You know how crusted it will be the next day.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            1. Eew.
            2. are you flat in front like a ken doll Lauriruu?

          • lauriruu

            Are you asking Jovi, if she is flat in front like a ken doll Lauriruu? Weird stuff.

          • Jovi

            yeah, where are we going with this PPYM? if you want to know how big my boobs are, just ask your mom.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            good one.
            ” are you flat in front like a ken doll Lauriruu?” That last word would seem to indicate to whom the question was directed.

            boobs

          • Ungaba

            This is a potential COTD right here.

          • lauriruu

            I think I need to take my remote to the Citadel.

        • Randy

          I doan know what Sunday means but who is it??? PICS DAMN YOU!

          • lauriruu

            Me Sunday

    • MoonStanley

      Ho-lee-cow! Hottest/most beautiful woman on that show.

  • HawtDoge
    • lauriruu

      This episode was also a reminder to wipe off himpaste before it becomes crusty.

  • Laffinj23

    how do yinz feel about the Domoulin signing over here?

    • Broken Coach Vlad

      Solid, a little high now, but in 2 years. 4.1 will be a steal, so got it for 6, that works… Not sure if a D-man with 2 cups is worth it, lol

    • Jovi

      happy.

  • lauriruu
    • The66thDopefish

      As long as he’s healthy!

    • Midnight Rider

      Coming to a press box near you!

      • PensPointsYourMom

        thavage and thalty

      • Jovi

        ouch. Pelts will be coming for you

  • Ungaba
    • Jovi

      I hope someone replied, Duh!

    • PensPointsYourMom

      well you’re behind the iron paywall, what does the article say?

      • Andy PepPep

        I’ll read it and write a summary. Brb.

        • Andy PepPep

          1. Rutherford said talks had gone quiet but now he has spoken with many GMs over last few days. A trade could have already been made as players are available.

          2. Sheary situation will likely play a role.

          3. GMJR doesn’t want to send an impact player from Cup runs.

          4. Cullen has a contact waiting for him if he wants to play.

          I tend to think the Sheary and Cullen situations will have to play out before a decision is made. Probably a different player gets traded if Sheary’s number is different than expected. Probably a different player/s is/are received if Cullen doesn’t come back.

      • The66thDopefish

        Pay the iron price to get through that paywall

    • PenguinPelts

      That’s the problem with those subscription sites, they are under so much pressure to always put something out that they just copy and paste an old story, change a date or two, and post it again. It’s the summer, things are quiet, it’s ok if you don’t post something, especially if nothing is happening and if it makes you look stupid.

      • Ungaba

        Respectfully, I disagree with you on this. There was very little Pens news of late, precisely because they didn’t have anything to report on. I’m thinking that they got some time with the GM and are merely passing that along.

        • PenguinPelts

          I guess we’ll have to wait until Andy summarizes, unless you already read it.

          • Ungaba

            I have, but I wasn’t going to jump the gun. It isn’t much. Basically that trade talk was dead shortly after July 1 but that it’s heated up a bit. Also, “I could get a guy today if I wanted to.”

          • PenguinPelts

            So basically what we already knew. Did they say anyone specific or a team that’s been calling more than others?

          • Andy PepPep

            Nope

          • Ungaba

            Nope.

            But also keep in mind, he just signed a contract, so the press had a reason to talk to him today. And they reported what they heard without revving up the ol rumor mill.

            You’re salty if you get something while simultaneously salty if you don’t get enough. Sheesh!

          • PenguinPelts

            “No other major news aside from new Dumoulin contract.” And that was a simple 53 characters.

          • Ungaba

            Right, so as a reporter you’re just going to get his quotes about the contract and not ask anything else? Come on, you were in sports radio, surely you aren’t buying what you’re selling here.

            “Hey Jim, any news on the trade front?” “I could have a guy today if I wanted – I’ve been in more convos lately. We’ll see”. That’s something worth writing down, no?

          • PenguinPelts

            He said the same thing at the the start of Free Agency though.

          • Ungaba

            Agreed, so you needle him for a little more and that’s when he said, ‘more talks lately’ or whatever, so you pass that along. Is it ground-breaking stuff? Well, no. But it’s something. I mean shit, the article isn’t more than 500 damn words anyway. And that’s even when they throw in speculation about Cole’s next contract.

            The cupboards are bare, admittedly, but at least they’re trying.

          • PenguinPelts

            Oh boy, Cole’s next contract. I smell Kris Russell all over that one, especially at the rate he’s going.

          • Ungaba

            You mean he’ll get over-paid? He damn well might. And if the Pens are finishing the 3-peat with him, I’d say he’ll go the way of Daley and get his loot elsewhere.

            It will be interesting to see how it works out, though. But based on all of the other contracts, I doubt they work a deal before he becomes a UFA.

          • PenguinPelts

            And they’ll base that deal on his defensive play, particularly his shot blocking prowess, which has become his most talked about feature it seems.

          • Ungaba

            Yup, and we’ll be sad to see him go. Hopefully Corrado delivers on his promise and can replace him if that happens.

          • Penguin in Houston

            I used to tell my Assignment Editor that I wasn’t going to fill 2-3 minutes with made up
            news.

          • MoonStanley

            FAKE NEWS!

  • PensPointsYourMom

    I call bullshit on the poll, there are NOT 60 people who read this blog.

    • Ungaba

      I call bullshit on your bullshit. There may well be that many. We have some fairly infrequent commentors plus Bren posted us up over at jobberdy the other day. Just cause whatshisface79 is the only one talking doesn’t mean more didn’t drop in. Perhaps they saw our shenanigans and decided to run away. Or maybe they’re all just voyeurs (fine by me, I do full frontal).

      • Andy PepPep

        I do full rear.

        • Andy PepPep

          Mike Hancho

      • Jovi

        easy way to fix this: everyone post their social security #, first/last name, addy and we can fact check the votes… or and blood type

        • MoonStanley

          420-66-8771, Joey Bagodonuts, 69 Meow Circle, Gatlinburg, TN

          O+

    • There are usually over two hundred or so unique visitors a day, when we have a new post

  • Jovi

    Captain Czar, what about that comic? See what happens when you get a little money.

    • Ungaba

      Amen! And he even tweeted one that was, *GASP*, not hockey related the other day!

      Bring on the comics!!!!

      • Jovi

        He’s too busy traveling around the states, beating up ppl at concerts.

  • j-b0t

    I just wanted you all to know, that my breath was RANK waking up today.

  • Ungaba

    Here’s probably the best chart that shows what Letang’s absence means to the Pens:

    https://twitter.com/ChartingHockey/status/889564292122644480

    • Jovi

      I don’t see anything. is that your point?

      • PenguinPelts

        Page doesn’t exist, just like Letang’s durability.

        Zing!

      • Ungaba

        Huh. He deleted the Tweet. Whoops.

        It had to do with controled zone entries and exits. Pens were in a bad place.

        Or maybe not and it was bad data, hence the deletion? I dunno.

        • Jovi

          Ok. I thought I was gonna have to open a can or something.

        • j-b0t

          The chart made no sense.

    • Penguin in Houston

      Bloop!

  • PensPointsYourMom

    I liked Sloth’s old job better, he was here more.

    • Ungaba

      But outdoorsy sloth is probably happier sloth at least.

      • MoonStanley

        This is 10000 times less stressful, for sure. I miss you guys, and gals. I should have my government ID soon and then I can get on the computers during the work day.

  • lauriruu
    • lauriruu
      • Penguin in Houston

        WHO is that?

        • MoonStanley

          Who?

          • PenguinPelts

            Whom.

          • MoonStanley

            Whom?

          • lauriruu

            Who?

    • Penguin in Houston

      They were all busted up but WE won the Cup!

    • Broken Coach Vlad

      Oh.. No Big Deal.. my hand keeps breaking.. can’t miss a shit ya pheasants!

    • Andy PepPep

      He scores more goals with a broken hand.

      • lauriruu

        That can’t be allowed?

  • MoonStanley
  • MoonStanley
    • lauriruu

      Frk yeah! That’s nice! I wouldn’t mind one right now

      • MoonStanley

        Check your email… just joshin that’s not possible yet

        • lauriruu

          For a minute there I lost myself. You josher!

          • MoonStanley

            πŸ˜‰ someday! Some people are literally working on technology that lets you gifts others drinks. You put a sensor in yours and on the other end, another person gets a drink that is “the same”

    • Ungaba

      I had that. Pretty yummy!

      • MoonStanley

        My GOT beer now!

        • Ungaba

          Game Of Thrones beer?

          I had Eilliot Ness Amber Lager last night with Mrs. Ung. Also nice. Great Lakes Brewing – best stuff to ever come out of Cleveland!

          • MoonStanley

            Yeah haha. I do like Great Lakes stuff! Gotta start trying some stuff down here. My supervisor has given me lots of ideas

          • Andy PepPep

            That’s a great brew

  • Penguin in Houston
    • Ungaba

      Nice – will watch tomorrow, but if TK is NOT dressed up as an Oompa-loompa, they missed a very big opportunity.

    • Jovi

      please say stripper, please say stripper

      • PensPointsYourMom

        his nose is custom designed for pulling his shirt off over his head…so sure…stripper.

  • Ungaba

    65 votes on the poll.

    OK, fess up – who’s voting twice? I know sometimes it counts them from browser and also from phone. If everyone doubles up (and I doubt that they are) then that’s 33 people voting.

    I did NOT double vote. Who’s with me???

    • MoonStanley

      It still holds my Yes vote from a few days ago hehe

      • Penguin in Houston

        66 now

      • Ungaba

        Aha! Multi-puter voter!!!!

        • MoonStanley

          Lol its my original vote!

    • Jovi

      I never double up.

      • MoonStanley

        Classy.

        • Jovi

          I try.

          • MoonStanley

            **finger guns**

    • PensPointsYourMom

      oh you mother frker! I call bullshit on the poll six hours ago and its all “you don’t know! there are people who come here but don’t comment”….fast forward three hours…”people are double voting” …. bush league…

      • Ungaba

        Just seeing if you’re paying attention…

        Also, I’m now agreeing with you. That’s too many votes.

    • Andy PepPep

      Brb about to double up

  • lauriruu
  • lauriruu

    Plz people. We need just one moar vote!

    • Jovi

      Do you want PPYM to jump off a bridge?

      • lauriruu

        Maybe. Into chorus, right?

        • Midnight Rider

          More likely: into your mom.

          • lauriruu

            Talking about Bridge over Troubled Water

          • Midnight Rider

            Talking about your mom.

  • Door_Matt

    So besides signing Jagr being imminent did anyone go to the DVD release thing?

  • One more vote

    • Ungaba

      Nice

  • Penguin in Houston
    • PensPointsYourMom

      Yeah but ghostwipe don’t D, so that guy can kick rocks.

      • Penguin in Houston

        Just another fucktard!

    • RadioBirdman79

      From the clown who’s name is V_Riem. How’d that trade work out….

  • RadioBirdman79

    I voted twice…. cause fuck you

  • Randy
  • RadioBirdman79
    • Midnight Rider

      All aboard the Cole Train!

  • JakeHK

    please stop this

  • I was about to close the poll but ONE OF YOU had to ruin it

    • Ungaba

      Nice

    • lauriruu

      It was beautiful while it lasted.

  • Ungaba

    OK, we need a new post.

    • get on that

      • Ungaba

        Nah, bro. I’m leaving now. I actually need to work or be fired.

        Sayonara! Saybanana! Something like that!

  • Ungaba
  • PensPointsYourMom

    BUF re-signed Lehner for 4 mil, 1 yr. That’s more than Murray.

  • The66thDopefish

    Before I send myself down a rabbit hole, does anyone else remember Mutant League Hockey?

    • HawtDoge

      Yes, but pretty much only that it was a thing

      • The66thDopefish

        I wanted to update the Pucksucker Pukes to reflect the current Penguins roster but I’m not clever enough to rename everyone myself.

        To give you an idea:
        #66 Lepuke
        #10 Fran Cyst
        #25 Heavings
        #68 Jamina Dagr
        #12 Scary (Errey)
        #24 Looney (Loney)
        #92 Sprocket (Tocchet)
        #07 Gullet (Mullen)
        #05 Oof (Ulf)
        #02 Half Baked (Jim Paek)
        #55 Scurvy (Murphy)
        #14 Chak (Jock Callander)
        #35 Ima Spazzo (Barrasso)
        #31 Wriggler (Wregget)

        • Andy PepPep

          Half baked? Not even close.

          I had Roger Clemens Baseball on NES and they flubbed the names to avoid issues with mlbpa. My favorites were Barry Banks (Bonds), David Judge (Justice), and Darryl Raspberry.

        • lauriruu

          Why not Bo Berry?

    • Yeah, I loved the Mutant League series when I was a kid

  • PensPointsYourMom
    • Andy PepPep

      If Sheary gets more than 3.7…. Someone’s getting traded.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        If Sheary gets more than 3.7 …Sheary should get traded.

        • Broken Coach Vlad

          I am a fan of Sheary, no doubt, but homie after the year he had is worth about 3 million.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            disagree. But think that’s a likely outcome.

          • PenguinPelts

            If Sheary gets more than $2.5 I’ll be upset, and most likely it will be Hagelin getting traded, which I’m not sure how I feel about that yet. Does Sheary play the PK?

          • Jovi

            I’m sure he could play PK.

          • Penguin in Houston

            Not big enough

          • PenguinPelts

            Hagelin is 5’11” though, compared to Sheary’s 5’8″. Not that big of a difference.

          • lauriruu

            Sheary doesn’t have the flow.

          • Penguin in Houston

            It’s enough. You leave my hawt Carl out of it.

    • Ungaba

      Also, the Blackcocks are over the cap and only have 5 NHL defenseman signed.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        yeah but they cant put Hossa on LTIR yet, so they’re actually gonna be about 5 under the cap.

        • Ungaba

          But don’t they have to be cap compliant for Day 1? And they can’t put him on until after Day 1? Or some shiznit like that?

  • Jovi

    Anyone watched the championship dvd yet?
    good, meh, OMG?

  • Ungaba
  • lauriruu
    • PensPointsYourMom

      I asked the Sens Chirp people what the feeling was about Oduya, good? bad? Dion Insurance? And some dude said “for 1 mil he’s whatever we want him to be.” That’s a good take on the signing. It may be a disaster, Oduya is getting old, but if it is, so what?

      • MoonStanley

        Sentaurs still ain’t winnin no cup

        • PensPointsYourMom

          yeah, I look at their roster and think…”ok who’s gonna score goals” I guess they figure Eric Karlsson will do everything.

          • Jovi

            So Oduya was just on the Blackhawks, correct?. And they offered him a new deal, which he declined because they’re not a playoff team?
            Can we talk about that!

          • Ungaba

            Great point. Hawks are Hossa’d this season. Yay!

          • MoonStanley

            Toes can lead them through ANYTHING!

          • Ungaba

            Lol, agreed. They’ll win the Cup for sure!

          • Penguin in Houston

            Blackcocks out in the 1st round again!

          • Penguin in Houston

            That’s why he had to play so broken in the ECF.

      • lauriruu

        I don’t have any problem with the deal.

        Moonie put it nicely.

    • Jovi

      LOL. Ok, How many renewals does this contract have, because its not happening next year.

  • Jovi

    A sloth wonderland.

  • PenguinPelts

    I completely missed that the Pens signed Greg McKegg earlier this summer too. Or maybe I didn’t, who knows, but it surprised me again last night. It’s a small sample size, but he is a 50% faceoff guy.

    • lauriruu

      I’m pretty sure he was signed solely based on his name.

    • Ungaba

      The NHL piece on the Pens this off-season has him in there as the #4 Center. Woof. He may be a 50% guy, but I don’t think I want him penciled in for full-time work in the NHL just yet.

    • with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg

  • lauriruu

    That’s an OK view…

  • Jovi

    Rangers over paying as usual: signed centre Mika Zibanejad to a five-year, $26.75 million contract

    http://www.tsn.ca/rangers-reach-five-year-26-75m-deal-with-zibanejad-1.813094

    • PenguinPelts

      It’s the Rangers, they’re a mess all around.

    • Penguin in Houston

      #babystuff

  • Penguin in Houston
    • HawtDoge

      Isat like Mayonnaise with Bourbon in it? πŸ˜€

      • Penguin in Houston

        Uhhhhhh, nooooooo

  • lauriruu

    They don’t make Presidents like they used to.
    https://twitter.com/RottenTomatoes/status/889896278775152640

  • Ungaba

    Ryan Wilson breaks down the Sheary case:

    http://www.hockeybuzz.com/blog.php?post_id=86612

    These Arvidsson and Zibinajag deals are really frking up the market. Too many monies.

    • Randy

      Am I the only one getting sick of the overuse of the word tremendous?

      It’s nowhere near the overuse of the word absolutely though.

      • HawtDoge

        literally sick?

        • Randy

          Yes. The cancer cells grow errey time.

      • SouthSideGeno

        positively

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Mark Streit to MTL for 700k

    • lauriruu

      Close to Markov.

      Streit, Mark of Englisberg, Switzerland

    • Ungaba

      Meant to link that earlier… good for him? I dunno, I think the Habs are going to disappoint once again.

      • Andy PepPep

        They got Drouin and a 100,000,000,000 dollar goaltender. Plan the parade.

    • Penguin in Houston

      I think that was his original team.

      • lauriruu

        Correct!

        • Penguin in Houston

          He’ll probably retire soon.

          • lauriruu

            Kinda weird he didn’t.

  • MoonStanley

    I gave my social and address to Jovi yesterday. Hook it up! πŸ˜‰

  • PenguinPelts

    Lehner signs for one year, $4 mill in Buffalo.

  • lauriruu
    • Jovi

      LOL. Kris never had a chance.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        whatever, see who wins a “skate backwards” contest

        • Jovi

          did owens do the celebrate skating show?

          • Jovi

            nope, he did dancing with stars.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I would expect an NFL (former) WR to out-deke about anyone who was not also an NFLer, including other professional athletes. I would expect Kris Letang to out-skate anyone who was not also an NHLer, including professional athletes.

          • lauriruu

            What about speed skaters or figure skaters?

          • Jovi

            What about rowers? How has better lower body strength?
            Mmmm, actually, cyclist I guess.

          • lauriruu

            Cyclists? Sprinters? Strongmen? Footballers? Am. Footballers? Rugby-ers?

      • Jovi

        Kris was flat footed; gotta play on your toes, on land.

      • Randy

        I doan like it when someone says Kris Letang broke his ankles. He may have literally done that. πŸ™

        • Ungaba

          He’s not quite in BB territory, but he’s not that far removed either…

          • Randy

            That’s true and it’s a scary thought.

  • PenguinPelts

    Does anyone else work with a political slut, one of those people that is suddenly all about politics and comments on it constantly during the day, but of course sucks at their job and are kind of a loser?

  • Randy

    Willie Desjardins named HC of Team Canada in 2018. That’s good because he has a lot of experience coaching non-NHLers over the last few seasons.

    I fully expect Max Talbot to score the gold medal GWG. Then he’ll be like, suck it Crosby.

  • lauriruu
    • PensPointsYourMom

      That is interesting, although OTT is T1st for number of overall NTC/NMC (10). I recognize that having an 8 team no-trade list is not the same as having only 8 teams to which a player could be traded. At the same time though, its a restriction on the team’s freedom in either case. I’d rather have 5 players couldn’t trade under any circumstance, and 5 completely open than 10 players with limited NMCs.

      • Midnight Rider

        …5 completely open…
        That number seems low for you.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    I’d like one of this year’s UFA’s to demand to be paid in bitcoin.

  • lauriruu
  • PensPointsYourMom
    • Ungaba

      “#ButCorsi”

      I love this guy.

    • Jovi

      His never been the same since his bongo incident with Marc Staal

  • Randy
    • Ungaba

      First and foremost, that is NOT racist. I love all of those flavors of ice cream equally.

      • Randy

        You are a true gent. If I like strawb. ice cream the most, does that make me one of those… you know.. types?

        • lauriruu

          Sad types?

        • HawtDoge
          • Ungaba

            I’m logical. I’m not introverted. I like strawberry.

            I’m exceptional!!!

          • PensPointsYourMom

            1. Dreyer’s/Edy’s are the Geo/Saturn of ice cream makers, I wouldn’t trust their “science” if it cured world hunger.
            2. I am severely introverted and I frking hate Strawberry Ice Cream, worst flavor by far. Sweet vomit. Of course I’m not tolerant or devoted.
            3. That tiny cup of bullshit isn’t even enough for an ice cream suppository, get real Dreyers…go big or GTFO!

          • SouthSideGeno

            We’ll buy you all the ice cream in the world you can eat…IF, you come to the game on 11/18 with all of us.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            All they have at the paint can is dippin dots, and that’s not even ice cream. Nice try tho. #SpicerForLife!

          • Ungaba

            1. Great parallel. I almost forgot about Geos
            2. That essplains why you aren’t meeting us, eh? That sucks, but I get it. However, you’re so frking wrong that it’s the worst flavor.
            3. I bet an ice cream suppository feels really, really weird.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            only one way to know for sure πŸ˜‰

      • Jovi

        Even strawberry!

      • HawtDoge

        I also love them all equally, BUT vanilla should be taxed at a higher rate due to it’s long history of popularity and it’s obvious socio-ice-o-nomic advantage πŸ˜€ #jusplayin

        • Jovi

          Only in this context do chocolate lives matter (runs away).

          • Ungaba

            This is acceptable discussion.

            I feel bad for strawberry, frankly.

          • Jovi

            I always gave the stawberry to my cats. Or eventually my parents would eat it.

          • lauriruu

            First feed the cats, then parents.

          • Jovi

            Haha.
            Wait, what’s your point?

          • lauriruu

            *runs away

          • Jovi

            The really should but the strawberry at the end for convenience.

          • Ungaba

            OK, so I like all of them. And all in the same bowl.

            But I LOVE to cover them all in chocolate sauce.

            Analysis?

          • HawtDoge
          • Ungaba

            Reasonable.

          • HawtDoge

            At least you’re keeping that a latent fetish expressed only through your dessert choices… right? please agree, for the love of Murray…

    • Jovi

      LOL.

    • HawtDoge

      Everyone in the photo is a joke, equally. While i’m not inherently against combat sports (or at least haven’t made up my mind yet), both boxing and UFC, as they exist now, can go die in a fire as far as I’m concerned. WELCOME TO THE SALT ZONE.
      Sorry, the opioid epidemic has me all pissed off this morning. Listened to a couple podcasts about it over that last few days and it’s way more fugged than I thought. D:
      On the plus side, if you like ice cream tomorrow is Miracle Treat Day at DQ, so if you want some ice cream get it there and help out CMNH. PSA over πŸ˜€

      • Jovi

        You’re very random today. Why does the opioid crisis make you mad?

        • Ungaba

          Because it’s killing, oh, just about everybody.

          • HawtDoge

            yeah, that!
            and because I’m in the tiniest way complicit, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I technically work in the pharmacy industry. So I guess career change is the only option since I’m so far down the totem pole. I can’t get into it, but I was working on a project yesterday, while listening to a podcast about how Purdue Pharma was basically teaching doctors to be pushers, and the project I was working on involves the drug that they give to people who they think might overdose. And while it’s good that there’s something to keep people from dying, if they wouldn’t have made opioids so readily available and ignored the fact that they were creating MILLIONS of addicts, we wouldn’t need to be making a huge deal out of this drug that keeps people from dying when they OD. It’s just all a shit-show for money and it makes me sick, and I’m right in the middle of it πŸ™

          • HawtDoge

            I guess I kinda got into it… πŸ˜€

          • Ungaba

            I used to work for Mylan. I’m sure they make opiod painkillers of some sort.

            The problem is that they make money. And everyone loves them. And doctors don’t want complaining patients coming back to them over and over. “Here’s 30 of these, leave me alone” largely because the insurance companies don’t want patients coming back time and time and time again. And that’s because they don’t want to pay. So really it’s big insurance that’s the issue.

          • HawtDoge

            Yeah, pretty much everything (pharma/insurance/govment/etc) is the issue, but still, if I was in the woods making youtube videos I wouldn’t be having this morality crisis… Side note, I’ve always been a fan of Mylan’s logo for some reason…

          • Jovi

            Woods? Videos?

          • HawtDoge

            I’ve made a couple fishing videos and would like to push that into at least a side-hustle of some sort. There are a surprising amount of people in niche industries that have created whole careers based off of their initial success on YouTube.

          • Ungaba

            My daughter is big into youtubers who do makeup stuff. And some of those people make mega bucks.

          • HawtDoge

            Yeah, I’ve been my trying to get my sister to do that for years, she’d be great at it. At this point, I’m just doing stuff for fun and if something happens great, but really I’m too old already to be focusing on that. THANKS COLLEGE DEBT AND SPONSIBILITIES!

          • Ungaba

            Milan Puskar, who founded Mylan (weird, right?), was a helluva guy. The original Mission Statement for Mylan included the phrase “To provide jobs for the people of Morgantown”. WVU’s stadium is ‘Milan Puskar Stadium’ because he gave them $300MM. He challenged the FDA to stop them from keeping Big Pharma as the only ones that could sell drugs. Basically, they were making back deals to stop patent challenges. He successfully uncovered that and got lots of people fired and the process changed so that people could get cheaper drugs. He was a great dude.

            But then, as he was getting older, he hired a whack-job consultant to figure out how to keep the company from getting bought. They had mad loot and almost no debt. So they bought a huge competitor and became the 3rd largest generics in the world. And then Milan died. And now Mylan is part of the problem.

            TL;DR – drugs are bad.

          • HawtDoge

            Yeah, just smoke some jazz lettuce and check out this logo…
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0e4d5158559285744b294ac11d93796671d5f0ebc8279ce67ad6557ccac6d100.png
            That’s three dong bags right? πŸ˜€

          • Ungaba

            …or maybe 3 test tubes, really, it’s up to you!

          • HawtDoge

            I’ve never seen test tubes with those proportions… they knew what they were doing!

          • PensPointsYourMom

            nope. its your mom giving me a three fingered hanny.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Ahhhhh…the infamous ‘MYLAN HANNYSHAKE”

            I’ve heard rumor about that for years…I always thought it was just an old Tibetan folk story.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            yeah its expensive, but it is eligible for payment via HSA (Hanny Savings Account)

          • SouthSideGeno

            I’m ‘holding’ out for the day we all have single ‘palmer’ coverage

          • PensPointsYourMom

            gonna have to wait a couple years. POTUS’s “hands” are too small to cover everyone.

          • Jovi

            Never heard of this guy. He sounds great.

          • MoonStanley

            Hey, I did a lot of work on their Headquarters at Southpointe hehe.

          • Jovi

            Well I think doctors are making changes, unfortunately I feel it’s people who need change the way they understand ‘pain’. You may have to live with a certain amount of pain; you have to take care of yourself. The people who are already addicted is a different matter.

            People expect to be completely pain free and most times, that will never happen. People in their 70s don’t complain about much but people in this 20s act like they’re dying. A lot of it is psych/depression but it’s had to convince someone that nothing physically is wrong with them.

          • HawtDoge

            Yeah, a lot of that mentality comes from the way doctors have treated pain for the last few decades, like it shouldn’t exist. You are right about that changing though, which is a good sign, and I think/hope the next class of family and primary care physicians will be better educated on the subject of addiction as a whole. That would make a huge difference. I think. but maybe not. Ung is right when he says people love them.

          • Ungaba

            I had a minor surgery this spring for a hernia. Outpatient. They gave me 30… somethings. Not super strong, mind you, but something. I took maybe 5 of them. Really didn’t need 25 more, but I have them. If I were a pill popper, this could have been the start of something bad.

          • HawtDoge

            yeah, i feel ya. I’ve turned down prescriptions because I’m not 100% certain I’d stop at five and don’t care to find out.

          • Ungaba

            The girl is PREACHING! AMEN!

            Frankly, I chalk it all up to the ‘I’m special and I matter’ culture. Because I’m special and I matter I should NOT feel pain because pain is bad!!!

          • SouthSideGeno

            Pain can be good. No pain no release…or is that relief?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            BURN THE WITCH!

          • Andy PepPep

            Last I checked, nobody was being forced to put anything in their body….. Aside from your mom and Ung.

          • Ungaba

            Fair point, Andy, but you know this is FAR too pervasive of an issue for the answer to be ‘just don’t take them’. People trust their doctors and if their doctors give them a bottle of 30 things and it says, ‘take every 4 hours’, that’s what some people will do. And then physiology takes over, at least for some.

            I had a morphine drip after a surgery. I had to stay in the hospital an extra day to ween me off the drugs. When I got home, though, I had different pills. I took some – I even experimented with some (mixing when I shouldn’t have, etc.) because I was 20-something and fearless. Thankfully, I didn’t over-react or become addicted.

            A guy I went to HS with never did drugs in HS. Good kid, played football, whatever. Became a doctor. Whatever happened and he lost his license for stealing pills. Writing fake scripts. Then he starts burglarizing a pharmacy. 3 times, once with a gun. Once he tunneled through the fucking wall. He was major-league addicted and couldn’t stop, even though he was smart enough to know better. Ruined his life.

            Your point isn’t wrong, but it’s not always just ‘personal choice’ that dictates what happens.

          • Andy PepPep

            I was given bottle after bottle when I had 4 surgeries in 16 months last couple years. I love those pills, our brains are designed to. I get the addiction to them. I draw the line when people move to injecting themselves with heroin instead of using common sense.

          • Andy PepPep

            Btw: I saw cirque du soleil in Vegas on them…. Wow.

          • Ungaba

            YOU draw that line. I draw that line, too. But not everyone can draw that line. I’d argue that most of them KNOW exactly what they are doing, and that they shouldn’t, but they just don’t know how to stop themselves.

            Opiods are the devils candy and need to be withheld from EVERYONE except under the most extreme circumstances. I’m all for personal choice in most things (Libertarian, here!) but this one is pretty clear to me.

          • Andy PepPep

            I think we have a culture that needs to be more productive, personally. Hard to take (hard) drugs when you’re raising a family with a career and a mortgage. Just not worth it.

          • Ungaba

            Amen! Unfortunately, fucking ROBOTS, bro! ROBOTS. We’re all doomed.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Its hard for me to lay it all on the addicts. For SOME people it was never a choice. They went to the Dr., and the doctor prescribed medicine, which was addictive. How is that the patient’s fault? We all know cigarettes are addictive now, but for years that wasnt really part of the conversation about cigarettes.

          • Andy PepPep

            Again, addicted to pills, I totally see your point. Addicted to cooking it in a spoon and shooting intravenously into your arm…..eh. Different story.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            The current heroin epidemic is a direct result of people getting addicted to legally prescribed opioid pain medications, and then becoming unable to obtain/afford those medications, thus turning to heroin for the same high. That’s not to say there wouldn’t be heroin without opioid pills, but the prescriptions are exacerbating the problem, badly.

            Imagine someone going to the Dr. and Dr. says smoke 3 cigarettes an hour for 2 months. At the end of that two months, some people will be hopelessly addicted to nicotine. You can’t draw the line and say, “well when that guy starts dipping because he can’t get cigarettes anymore, its a ‘personal choice.'” He’s addicted. This notion that people choose to be addicted belies the whole nature of addiction.

          • HawtDoge

            When you can’t get a prescription anymore you buy the pills from some guy… when you can’t afford those black-market priced pills anymore, that same guy says, “hey, this is basically the same thing, only stronger, and is WAY cheaper..” it’s not as big of a jump as I think many people assume.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            There’s an excellent 60 mintues story about kids in affluent suburbs of Columbus getting addicted to heroin because opioids were over prescribed by doctors. Many of the people who are addicted to heroin now, were not “drug users” pot smokers, or crack heads.

      • Ungaba

        CMNH?

        • HawtDoge

          Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals, sorry, I do a lot of work involving that charity so I kinda assumed erreyone knows what that means. You know what assuming does!

      • The original post is gone so I’m coming in blind, but can you refer the podcasts? My best friend’s friend, also a Pittsburgh graffiti legend, died recently from said epidemic and I’d like to learn more

        • HawtDoge

          It’s a two episode stint on “The Dollop”. It’s a US History comedy podcast, if you haven’t heard of it. They deal with a lot of serious topics and try to focus on telling the untold parts of various historical evens etc. It’s often simultaneously hilarious and disturbing.

          Those two episodes about opiods only touch on highlights starting way back in the 1800s, but it’s interesting to see how long this has been a problem, and how unwilling we as a society have been to see it as such. Anyway, check it out!

        • Ungaba

          Why did I leave and come back and see a message that said that ‘This comment is awaiting moderation’ about the ‘racist’ ice cream picture? That seems REALLY odd to me.

          Is Disqus monitoring our stuffs??????????? BIG BROTHER?!?!?!??!?!?!

  • Jovi

    When does camp start? Their first preseason game is Sept 27.
    Need hockey soon.

  • HawtDoge

    Thanks for putting up with my randomness erreybody. I’m gonna do some work today maybe… Hugs and kisses and PLEASE don’t do drugs. Or at the very least, just not the mega addictive ones. I lub yinz

    • Jovi

      Yes Dad.

      • Ungaba

        More like ‘enlightened middle brother who just finished a philosophy course and now has to ‘fix’ his family’, amirite???

        • HawtDoge

          Have you ever heard of this dude Socrates…

    • RadioBirdman79
  • Ungaba
    • Andy PepPep

      Teen angst!

  • Ungaba
    • Jovi

      Why are they getting rid of ‘Paint’! I still use that thing.

      • SouthSideGeno

        Cause it’s free and easy and too many people use it and Billy G can’t have that

        • Ungaba

          In fairness to Billy G, one of the most giving philanthropists of all time, he ain’t calling the shots any more.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Stop sticking up for rich pricks…we need you to be on our side.

  • Ungaba
  • SouthSideGeno

    High erreybody. Finally back in the basement lair-office-penscave after a long road stint. Feels are beginning to return to SSG home mode. No need to ask what I missed…I’ve been lurking.

    LOOKIE what I found in my ‘mail-mountain’ when I got back.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1e177f910919d32ae13c9a87f1a44634a1fc1f3f2687b41545c213d6fe7337a3.jpg

    THANKS FINSTER

    • Jovi

      Nice. Good pic too.

    • SouthSideGeno

      …now if I could only read the friggin thing I know it’s a waaaay better mag that our stoopit SI coverage of the Stanley. The FIN’s have a GIANT PENS BONER…who knew?

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/20c9f693f49aa5a043dbe754f28777ac85c5a8b996464c7f1b32b4ef397962b8.jpg

      They even managed to find an old pic of me when I was playing goal for the Pirates : /

      • lauriruu

        I was going to translate it for you until I realized how many frkn pages it was πŸ˜€

      • HawtDoge

        PENGUINS IN EXCESSIVE EXTENSION
        When the background was good, Pittsburgh was an undercover
        Place in the NHL’s major expansion in the year
        In 1967, the teammate doubled to Haiku sixth
        L a ~. On the Iberian coast of the USA I clashed two Ullna towns,
        Who Oliva! Both Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. In the middle wlival
        Minnesota (or Minneapolis / Sc. Paul) and 51st Louis Sec
        Launch to the coast of Los Angeles and Oakland.
        The Mellon Arena, which was completed under Piusburgi, is made of igloo
        Form the team was named Penguins. Indeed
        Geography would go a bit confused. Son of penguins and
        Iglujcn has an entire globe.
        Although the team played a few good times,
        Easy eUm did not come. As a canyon you could just look
        Next to how Philadelphia got a collection of tahles for which
        What he won the Stanley Cup twice in the past years
        1974 and 1975. It could only be said that Penguins
        Later the league will be the New York Islanders wax cup
        Nclja ken aa, and from WHA I’m Edmonton Oilers
        The alo can u glitter.
        The bankruptcy was already a test, and the auditorium was in the auditorium.
        The value is as high as 7000 when a good deal had worn
        Two-handed. Pittsburgh was on his way out of the league.
        MARIO LEMIUEX MARKING
        Penguins were in the season 1983-84 league’s worst team will vie Β·
        Shoulder with sclupa with a point difference. That’s the sign. That she knew the first
        reservation shift. It was used in Montreal
        He was in the big centerpiece of k: the ayah who had done all right
        Wild figures in the QMJHL Canadian Army League.
        In the previous season, Mario Lemieux was played by Laval
        In Voisins, 70 goals scored 133 goals and scored 282 points
        – four points per trip!
        Of course, the same average can not continue in NHL,
        After the career was 22 years old! A later, the value was
        1.88 pennies per game. Only Wayne Gretzky (I, 92) is
        Still far from better.
        It is a good idea to wait for the money to be booked
        3,000 viewers – side! olleluidcn
        Of general interest. Eika Lemieux
        They slept with expectations. Only four necklaces
        Later he won the first
        Once pislcporssin.
        Han got Art Ross Trophy together
        Six keras. And that was the spring of 1988
        Received the first time the most valuable
        Winning Harl Trophy, who won the match
        Three keras. Other awards are
        countless amount.
        Myos the national team fluttered
        Hi all of their ivory skills. in

        • PensPointsYourMom

          Your mom sleeps with expectations and four necklaces.

          • SouthSideGeno

            …and ‘Six keras’ in her lady gap.

    • Jovi

      Does it say,Penguin party?

      • lauriruu

        Parade

    • The66thDopefish

      Someone forgot to tell them that the Penguins dropped Vegas gold.

  • SouthSideGeno

    That Finster is really something. He also sent me a Blue-Ray/DVD copy of the 2016 Pens Championship. His player couldn’t run it cause…too much himpaste stuck in the gears.

    Turns out I already have a copy and I’m pretty sure nobody I know around here wants a copy…so if somebody hasn’t seen it yet and would like to have it, send an email with ‘SSG PENS BLUERAY/DVD’ as the subject along with yer name and mailing address to:

    penshockeyblog@gmail

    I’ll mail it to you.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      “Hello Friend, I am a Nigerian Blueray Disc…”

    • Ungaba
      • Andy PepPep

        Please click on that link and tell me.

        • SouthSideGeno
          • Andy PepPep

            Oh oh, good. Now let’s figure out how to shoot lasers out of our 3rd legs.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            you mean…you don’t know?

          • Andy PepPep

            Shoots something. Wouldn’t call it a “laser”, per se.

          • Ungaba

            “It’s a nice day for a … white laser!”

          • HawtDoge

            Oh man, I have to sing that at a wedding coming up and now I’ll be thinking of this. Thank you?

          • Andy PepPep

            Want me to send a photo?

          • HawtDoge

            hahahaha, i’m good!

          • Andy PepPep

            I could send a shot of my performance to help you with yours. No face though.

          • HawtDoge

            Oh man, this is the best and worst possible response at the same time… hahahaha

          • SouthSideGeno

            paster?

  • Andy PepPep

    I was trying to alleviate you of some of that unnecessary guilt.

    • HawtDoge

      This I wholeheartedly appreciate, glad I held my typing tongue. I know erreybody on here means well. Glad you didn’t get sucked in.

      • Andy PepPep

        I live in Western Ohio, the heart of the problem. I’ve seen what it does firsthand. Personally, I don’t feel blaming drug companies for providing drugs is as constructive as tough love and personal responsibility. Nobody quits their vices because they believe it’s someone else’s fault they’re addicted. They quit because they know they’re better than what they have become. It’s why I have a hard time calling it an “addiction”.

        We just got pretty deep for a blog that makes hockey-related porn photoshops. Haha.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          There are two different issues there: 1. HOW the person became addicted and 2. What to do about it now that they are. I agree that 1 is moot once 2 is in effect, but treating addicted people is not the cause of the problem.

          • Andy PepPep

            I’m not arguing that attempting to treat it is causing more addicts. I’m arguing that we’re not effectively treating it.

        • HawtDoge

          Yeah, pretty deep indeed!
          I would just say to look into the issue of addiction in general. I personally believe there are many people who literally cannot help themselves, that’s true addiction. I’m sure there are plenty of people who are just “weak”, and/or don’t care about themselves and their families etc., but addiction is a real thing that we’re only beginning to try to understand. Also, I almost typed “addition is a real thing we’re only just beginning to understand” which is pretty hilarious.

  • Ungaba
    • lauriruu

      Conceived by finger blasting?

      • HawtDoge

        “white finger laser”

  • Can someone make a new post???

  • PenguinPelts

    So you guys talkin heroin? Black tar or China white?

    • HawtDoge

      At least we’re talking about it right? Instead of ignoring it. This place is GREAT!

      • PenguinPelts

        True. Very similar to what Joe Rogan said about one of the last of many shootings. This country doesn’t have a gun problem it has a mental health problem.

        I just remember being blown away that I blocked a shot one night, couldn’t walk for two days and thought I broke my fibula, went to get it checked out, and they gave me an opioid for what turned out just to be a really deep bone bruise. A narcotic for a bruise. What a time to be alive.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          Man, when Joe Rogan is a voice of sanity and cultural reflection, I think I’m done……Imma go draw the bath and get the razors.

          • PenguinPelts

            What’s wrong with Joe Rogan? Guy is smart and open, and that’s half the battle. I’ve just recently started listening to his podcast.

          • HawtDoge

            I think the point is that when a guy who made his career feeding worms to morons for money is one of the more quotable public figures on the issue of guns and mental health, THAT’S the problem. Maybe?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Doge completes me.

          • PenguinPelts

            I got ya. Don’t forget he’s a comedian first, so looking at society and the world around him and having a better way of saying things and not giving a shit about how they’re taken is his job.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      rassis

    • Andy PepPep

      Sounds like tea varieties.

      • HawtDoge

        Don’t get me started about the East India Trading Company… πŸ˜€

        • Andy PepPep

          I wanna throw that shit right in the harbor.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            HipsterBlawg says “that’s derivative.”

          • Andy PepPep

            They say everything is derivative.

          • HawtDoge

            Doesn’t mean it’s not true? It’s all in HOW you say it… πŸ˜€

  • Ungaba

    74 votes, people. Even if EVERYONE voted twice, that’s… hold on… maths…. that’s 37 voters, minimum! That’s pretty cool!

    • SouthSideGeno

      This comment is awaiting moderation

      • MoonStanley

        Your votes are awaiting moderation

        • SouthSideGeno

          …by ‘officials’ from Kaspersky?

          • MoonStanley

            We have a BIGLY voter fraud problem. All these ILLEGALS taking over the system. ..

          • MoonStanley

            Sad!

          • Jovi

            Do we build a wall or just move to Canada?

          • MoonStanley

            Both!

          • HawtDoge

            Move Canada here?

          • Jovi

            Someone call Randy and let him know we’re coming.

          • SouthSideGeno

            “OUI”
            fap, fap…almost there

          • Jovi

            What, you gonna be another winger for the Caps?

  • PenguinPelts
    • Ungaba

      If you count signing a bunch of scrubs to two-way or low-impact deals, yeah.

      • PenguinPelts

        And they still have over $18 million in cap space left but couldn’t land any of those Free Agents.

        • Ungaba

          I just don’t understand the Devils. They’ve been doing this for years. Are they a ‘budget’ team or something?

          • HawtDoge

            I think there’s just something fundamentally wrong with New Jersey. This is not a dis, I’m legit concerned…

          • SouthSideGeno

            Well…it is New Jersey…that whole place is is a stack of frk stained pancakes

  • SouthSideGeno
    • MoonStanley

      YOU GOT MODERATED!

      • SouthSideGeno

        I got moderated sooooo hard

        • MoonStanley

          πŸ˜€

          • SouthSideGeno

            Say hi to yer Moon Dad for me ; )

          • MoonStanley

            I told him I caught greyscale down here, he disowned me until i find a cure!

          • SouthSideGeno

            Sally Scale?

            We’ll ‘trim you up’ on 11/18

          • MoonStanley

            I’m gonna need a Maester, Sally!

          • Jovi

            F U Sally (Oblivion)

        • Ungaba

          I think we’re ALL getting moderated…

          @brendannnn:disqus WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS????

          • Penguin in Houston

            Frk

          • MoonStanley

            NO SWEARING

          • Ungaba

            Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk Frk

          • SouthSideGeno

            “He’s a Frk, Frk, Frk, Frk…Frkenmachine!
            Da-da da-da…Da-da da-da”

          • MoonStanley

            YOU’VE BEEN BANNED

          • Penguin in Houston

            Since when?

          • MoonStanley

            YOU GOT MODERATED! OOOHHHH

    • Ungaba

      Happened to me on the ‘rassis’ ice cream pic below. Me no likey.

    • HawtDoge
      • SouthSideGeno

        hahaha…Hi dragon lips, new in town?

        chryst that’s giving me a seizure

      • Ungaba

        I’ll comment, but I won’t see it again because I have to hide this or I’ll start seizing.

        LOL.

        There, that’s my comment.

  • SouthSideGeno

    I hate entropy.
    It’s wearing me dahn.

    • Jovi

      Energy? Or the physics of energy? Or is this chemistry?

      • SouthSideGeno

        Why does shit have to wear out, break?….Thermodynamics can suck a fat one.

        • HawtDoge

          Thanks a lot Rudolf Clausius!

          • SouthSideGeno

            I Carnot for Nicolas LΓ©onard Sadi

          • Jovi

            OMG you guys are nerds.

          • MoonStanley

            Motherfuckin magnets… HOW DO THEY WORK? It’s a miracle!

          • Ungaba

            Mega. Nerds.

          • SouthSideGeno

            BUTT …we have YOUGE hawkey sticks

    • Ungaba
      • PensPointsYourMom

        helicockter?

      • SouthSideGeno

        That guy want’s to touch IT

  • Ungaba

    OK, hockey time. Zone entries!

    https://twitter.com/ChartingHockey/status/890248150107258882

    In the comments, people were surprised that Hagelin had poor numbers. I think his speed is without the puck, or in breakaway situations. I don’t think anyone would call him a great puck handler. So I’m not surprised.

    Kessel is quietly good at yet another thing, though. Dude is a superstar.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      yay! hawkeytalk

      • SouthSideGeno

        meh…hahaha

      • Ungaba

        Didn’t last very long…

    • lauriruu

      Nice pic. Great way to honor MS Paint.

      • MoonStanley

        Lol RIP In Peace, MSPaint

        • Jovi

          Booooooo. We should fight

          • MoonStanley

            I didn’t kill it! But I will put up my dukes if I gotta

  • The66thDopefish

    I’m showing up late to the conversation, so I wanted to chip in and suggest that addiction is a wide-ranging condition of humanity that affects everyone differently with every substance or chemical. My wife quit smoking cigarettes cold turkey in 2008 but has been told that quitting can be like quitting heroin.

    I worked in a retail pharmacy for nine years, particularly during what I would consider to be the beginning of the worst of the unregulated opioid crisis, and having seen every angle of the problem — the pharmacy’s side, the insurance’s side, the doctor’s side, and the patient’s side — it was clear to me that the order of “who cares most about the problem” from “cares most” to “cares least” went:

    1.) the pharmacy
    2.) the patient
    3.) the insurance
    4.) the doctor

    In Massachusetts, the government has taken a lot of steps (such as limiting the number of days’ worth of an opioid can be prescribed) to mitigate what has been disastrous for so many people, and I’ve seen a few pill mill doctors get sent to prison for their involvement. I hope that these moves will help to stem the tide of opioid addiction, at least here in MA, but more has to be done.

    • Andy PepPep

      My inlaws are both physicians and they run the risk of going to jail with every pain pill prescription they write. So they don’t write any. I think we rub the risk of throwing the proverbial baby out with the bathwater.

      • SouthSideGeno

        *rub the risk …teeheee

        • Ungaba

          Me thinks thou doth misseth the point.

  • Andy PepPep

    We all know Michael Jordan played baseball for 2 years because his father was killed due to his gambling debts and he was facing a suspension, right?

    Also…….MJ is a huge douchebag.

    • SouthSideGeno

      Nice shoes though…amirite?

    • Ungaba

      1) I didn’t realize his father was killed because of MJ’s gambling debts. I never paid enough attention to care, but that’s crazy. You don’t mess with the Mob, amirite?

      2) Yup, had heard what a douchebag he was/is. Unsurprising.

      I never liked the shoes.

      • SouthSideGeno

        Well, yer just jelly cause they’re nicer than the Air UNG’s

        • Ungaba

          Actually, that’s not possible because Air Ung’s only exist in my head and I literally just made them cooler since you wrote that.

          And you know that other shoe you’re thinking of? Yeah, that one. AU’s are cooler than THAT one, too.

  • lauriruu

    Does your guy get the tickets before that? @Ungaba
    https://twitter.com/penguins/status/890279507122409472

    • SouthSideGeno

      Are you trying to FINagle 2 games? hahaha

      • Jovi

        You’re gonna have to put out for 2 games. Don’t ask what it will take to get ticket to Fleury’s return (shudders)

        • lauriruu

          I could fit in another game for my visit but that wasn’t my aim here

          • SouthSideGeno

            If you can figure out how to stay in PGH and get back to NYC after the 2nd one it’s o-key-do-key by me…your call. I just have to go back for work so I can only do 1 game.

    • Ungaba

      Nope – that’s when we’ll have our shot.

  • SouthSideGeno

    DISGUS IS ALL FRKED UP TODAY
    I’m only seeing comments from 6 hours ago…everything else isn’t populating…frken Brendan didn’t pay the bill again

    • gutsgonebad

      Lol, thought it was just me

      • SouthSideGeno

        Wait, who are you again? hahaha
        HIGH GUTZ

        #wutdidudoonyersummervacation

        • gutsgonebad

          Family reunion, Chicago, and Vegas. Good times but realizing how old I’m getting

          • SouthSideGeno

            Spent my weekend sitting in my father-in-law’s hospice room…tell me about it.
            I HATE ENTROPY

          • Ungaba

            Ah…. now it’s all making sense.

            You could be like the Orphan Black people instead. Look how well that’s working out for them!

          • SouthSideGeno

            Last season…sad

            Do you watch the new Twin Peaks at all on HBO?

          • Ungaba

            I do not. Never watched the original. That show is straight up bonkers.

          • SouthSideGeno

            You got that right…hahaha…David Lynch is waaaay out there

          • Ungaba

            I’d seen a few bits and pieces but wasn’t willing to invest the required attention to really try to figure out what the hell they were up to in that show.

          • SouthSideGeno

            It’s moar like an art film…they really haven’t moved the plot line since episode 3..they’re on e-12 now and I’m getting fed up with it.

          • Ungaba

            ‘Art film’ is code for ‘fucking awful’.

            Thanks but no thanks!

          • SouthSideGeno

            filmsis

          • Ungaba

            Fine by me.

            I’m about to sit down and watch John Wick 1 & 2 with the family. The only thing ‘artsy’ about those is the pattern of the blood spatters and I’m 100% fine with that.

          • SouthSideGeno

            1 was tits…2 sucked a lil bit.

          • Ungaba

            Hmmm… not surprising. We’re only watching them both because we just got 2 from the library and it picks up, what, 2 hours after the first one ends? That’s a fun idea all by itself.

            But yeah, hard to expect a lot from a sequel to that one.

          • Jovi

            Did they ever figure out who killed whomever from the first running or did the show get cancelled before they could finish?

            I also never watched.

          • SouthSideGeno

            hahaha, nope…r u kidding?

            David isn’t into plot and closure. He’s into mescaline, I think.

          • gutsgonebad

            Ouch, that’s a rough ride. Sorry to here it. Hope their in peace

          • SouthSideGeno

            93 & 91 …they both had a great run…As my FiL puts it he’s… “ready to get on the bus”

          • Ungaba

            That’s old enough to have said you lived a good life, I think. Good for them.

          • gutsgonebad

            Definitely, My Grandmother is 97 and still going strong, but starting to lose it. Always asks me where my kids are. I just play along, no reason to confuse her.

          • SouthSideGeno

            That’s how it’s done, good boy.
            My MiL is healthy enough but she can’t remember what happened 30 seconds ago. She used to be sharp as a scalpel…difficult to see em like this.

            I’m gonna move to Washington State…#i’llpickmyowntime

          • Ungaba

            By the time you’re ready to kick it, it will be allowed even in PA.

            #dontfallforthegranolayoudummy

          • SouthSideGeno

            I like granola…and even if it’s legal in PA at some point they’ll find a way to make it frked up. Like you have to be run over by a parade of Amish buggy’s or someshiz.

          • gutsgonebad

            You’re moving to Washington? That’s fucked up. I’d quit

          • SouthSideGeno

            Quit wut? Hu?

      • Jovi

        Same.

    • Ungaba

      It’s a ‘you old guys’ thing, apparently. I’m not having any issues…

      • SouthSideGeno

        This comments section isn’t long enough for me to list half of yer ‘issues’

        • Ungaba

          I have so many issues I have Issue Tissues…

      • Jovi

        Not having issues? So you’re back on your meds, good.

  • gutsgonebad

    WTF, I go on vacation for a couple weeks and all of a sudden I can’t log in. Disqus has quite the short memory

  • SouthSideGeno
    • Ungaba

      Nice!

      • SouthSideGeno

        yer whale cum ; )

      • Ungaba

        Favorite detail is Schultz in the back…

        • Jovi

          Hahaha. Missed it.

          • Jovi

            Missed the cups too.

    • Ungaba

      Is this from the Batman cartoons? That looks like a Joker kind of thing…

      • SouthSideGeno

        dunno…stole it from dahn below in the post

        • Ungaba

          I’d scroll to look but my finger will get tired and I need it for later…

          • PensPointsYourMom

            #littleDutchBoy

          • Ungaba

            …because he sticks his finger in the dyke?

            Sometimes I don’t get your humor. I’d blame myself, but you’ve already admitted you’re crazy.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            On the contrary, I admitted I was a dick, Im the sanest motherfucker up in here.

            And yes, because he sticks his finger in the “dike” the way you said it its #transphobic. Also… butthole.

  • Ungaba

    OK, seriously – who’s making the next post? Mine was crap, but at least I made one. I think we need another ‘first timer’ to put one up.

    Draw straws? Pick a number between 1 and 69?

    • SouthSideGeno

      FIN picks…his nose

      DO IT FIN

      • Ungaba

        Seconded. All in favor of a FinPost?

        • SouthSideGeno

          FIN POST FIN POST FIN POST

          *crowd goes wild

          • Ungaba

            This may well be a case of ‘be careful what you wish for’, but that’s OK – I like to live dangerously.

          • SouthSideGeno

            FIN can do it. He’s our man.
            If Fin can’t do it…

      • lauriruu

        Woah. Are yinz sure?

        • SouthSideGeno

          All you have to do is request Admin privileges from Blawgczar.

          Start out by working in a word document for now and then once he set’s you up in the Word Press dashboard you can just copy and himpaste your wurds right into it.

  • SouthSideGeno

    BREN

    How does HIGH FIN request Admin Privileges? Isn’t there an ‘official’ way he has to to do that?

    AND WHERE THE ACTUAL FUCK IS RAD AGAIN?

    • Rad88

      Rads been sleeping. A lot.

      • SouthSideGeno

        hahaha

        HIGH DOC

        • Rad88

          hey buddy. No joke though, just woke up from a nap and looked on my phone and saw you type that. With my fiancee being on 7 pm- 7 am night shift 3 nights a week my schedule is all frked up

          • SouthSideGeno

            I miss you.

            Hey, can you take a second and explain her how FIN can request Admin privliges so he can create a “Finnish is my second language” post, please?

          • Rad88

            I’m not sure that the sign up button works yet, so he basically needs to email either Brendan or the blog and Brendan will have to set it up manually being blogczar and all

          • SouthSideGeno

            penshockeyblog@gmail.com

            (right?)

            Put something like… ATTENTION BLAWGCZAR YOU SLACKMEAT…in the subject heading Fin.

          • Rad88

            precisely

          • Penguin in Houston

            Is she a nurse?

          • Rad88

            yes haha

          • SouthSideGeno

            We’re gonna need them ‘naughty nurse costume’ pix if she is : )

    • lauriruu

      Sooo… where do I put ‘this’?

      • Ungaba

        Did you get permissions for the site? If so, log in, make a thing, press ‘publish’.

        EZ PZ

        • lauriruu

          Oh, I haven’t done any of those things πŸ˜€

          • SouthSideGeno

            SEND AN EMAIL TO BREN…you have to grovel before him to get his Blawgczarian permission. Oncce you do so, I will assist you in anyway possible.
            Unless it involves work of any kind ; )

          • lauriruu
          • Ungaba

            Yes.

          • lauriruu

            How does fin put pictures in the post?

          • Ungaba

            What you did in college – ‘experimentation’.

          • SouthSideGeno

            FIN get permission first…then I shows FIN how to rub the lotion on it’s skin…other wise..you get the hose!

          • Ungaba

            Figure it out.

          • lauriruu

            I rubbed the lotion but it burns very much :/ maybe I rubbed it the wrong way

          • Ungaba

            UP AND DOWN, NOT IN AND OUT!!!!

          • lauriruu

            Dammit!

          • lauriruu

            Someone will surely read this before it’s posted??

          • Ungaba

            No. You will have carte blanche to post away. Here, I’ll demonstrate…

          • SouthSideGeno

            ‘WE’ always proof read before posting. Butt, like in Jovi’s case…we let a lot of the typos slide cause…hysterical : D

          • lauriruu

            I just doan want this to look like it was written by a foreign person.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Yer 4 in? : O

          • Ungaba
          • Ungaba

            Please follow instructions.

            1) Email blawgczar to get provisioned for blawgging
            2) Wait patiently
            3) Probably sleep a little (I think you need it)
            4) Log in
            5) Write blog
            6) Click ‘publish’
            7) Prepare for ridicule

            That’s about it!

  • Rad88

    Not sure if discussed below but I saw Ungaba talking about it on the Tweetsville, SinBins Back to back shirt is sweet, but man do they have balls using the city of champions patch. We wanted to make a shirt using that and asked the team and they told us they don’t even own the rights to that design, hence why they never put it on anything else

    • SouthSideGeno

      Who’s knob r they gobblin to get away with that?

      • The66thDopefish

        Grey Worm’s

        • Ungaba

          Too soon?

          • The66thDopefish

            I could also have said Varys’ but I felt that being topical would work best

        • Ungaba

          Now they said that the castrated them… not lopped off their dinguses. So I don’t get why he wouldn’t have been able to ‘get down’ with Mel, but WTF do I know?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Eunuch…was the most searched word on Google on Sunday night last week.

            How does one (male) pee with out a pecker?

          • Ungaba

            Varys is a eunuch. No meat, no veg. But the Unsullied were supposedly only castrated – no veg, but they have the sausage.

            Also, is it more than a little weird that this show is all kinds of involved in lopping of private bits? GRRM is a crazy bastard.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Right, but you still didn’t answer my question…I’m thinking it gets very messy.
            At least if you’re a gurl you can aim it or just sit…but if that wanker is down to the root…It’s spraying erreywhere.

          • Ungaba

            #notstandinganymore

          • The66thDopefish

            Apparently in Grey Worm’s case, you’re right: just his testicles have been removed (so far as what I’m reading). Varys has had everything cut off, however.

          • The66thDopefish

            READING FURTHER (too much reading about this) the Unsullied do have their penii removed.

          • Ungaba

            Too… many… penii… must… escape…

      • Rad88

        I’m hoping for them it’s far enough away from the original. Would hate to see them get stung

    • Ungaba

      I still want them to use the triangle.

      And yeah, that’s kind of ballsy, but now that I look at it, there is NOTHING proprietary in there. Skyline, keystone, stars, dates… it’s all non-Pens stuff. Not even Cups are there.

      • Rad88

        I think the stars were on the original, that’s what got my interest because we were going to make one with 5 stars because we’re cocky little shits

        • Rad88

          Then we switched toa triangle because brendan didn’t wanna get sued (pussy). Then as usual we didn’t proceed https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/39af8c47869b7763ecd99df1d0512a0a7834d813f93cb6c812e675c7496ff9c8.png

          • PensPointsYourMom

            the fourth star is closer to the fifth star than the third star, also the print is too small.

          • Rad88

            thanks, I’ll fix it and refile it under “still never going to release” haha

          • Ungaba

            “Everybody’s a critic especially the crazy frker in the basement who won’t come to our hockey meetup”

          • PensPointsYourMom

            1. Why is that in quotes?
            2. It goes back to when I posted some shop months ago, and all yinz jags were like “the print is too small” “I can’t read it” etc etc…Its not because there is anything wrong with Rad’s design, its because jobbing people’s creativity is a state of being on this blog.

          • Ungaba

            1) “I don’t know”
            2) If you left the house more you’d forget to be annoyed with stuff like this. I had completely forgotten. And ripping on ERREYTHING is a state of being on this here blog, so why get upset? Of course, I’m also just a douche commentor and don’t produce anything of value.
            3) Why isn’t ‘commentor’ an acceptable word? What am I if not a commentor? I’m not a commentator, for example.

    • j-b0t
  • Door_Matt

    Can we get back to the real news? When is GMJR going to sign Jagr?

    • SouthSideGeno

      Never?

      • Door_Matt

        Butters to UFA for Jagr.

        • Penguin in Houston

          No way!

        • PensPointsYourMom

          wat?!

          • Door_Matt

            That’s my Chel insider trade of the day

          • PensPointsYourMom

            trade Maatta to free agency?

          • Door_Matt

            Yes.

        • SouthSideGeno

          NOW YER PISSEN ME AUFF

          • Door_Matt

            ?:)

  • SouthSideGeno

    No…I’ll share em…hahaha

  • Door_Matt
    • Door_Matt

      I just thought of something morbid and thought you guys would enjoy it. It’s like terminator, but Marty McSorley bot goes to the past to eliminate Jagr to stop him from playing forever and becoming the sole ruler of the NHL.

      • Ungaba

        Does not compute. McSorley Bot once played with Jagr, ergo time rift, ergo end of universe.

        • Door_Matt

          Perfect cover. McSorley bot makes a return masquerading as the real McSorley to make it seem plausible to rewrite history.

          • Ungaba

            Dammit. This checks out.

            Now I’m gonna have to build a Delorean and go find Donald Brashear…

      • SouthSideGeno

        Yer a sick lil Canuck…it’s why we luv you ; )

        • Ungaba

          Wait a minute… Matt is a canuck too? So Matt, Randy and WRC? Do we have any more canucks running around here? I need an accurate count, dammit!

          • Door_Matt

            Haha no, I’m from California.

          • Ungaba

            Aha! So you’re still nuts… just a different kind of nuts. Thought so!

          • Door_Matt

            Yes. Nuts in the way that creates political rifts nuts. πŸ˜‰

          • Ungaba

            Meh. No real rifts allowed in here. I mean, you guys know I’m a complete asshole compared to most of you, politically speaking, yet we interact just fine.

            The only one we truly lost was PHF and phuck him if he can’t take the heat.

          • Ungaba

            Oh, and Komrade Kookiez, and phuk him for the same reasons.

          • Door_Matt

            Yup. Now who is up for some Jagr peanut butter cookies?

          • Ungaba

            I’ll give you my RL addy if you send them.

          • Door_Matt

            I wonder if Jagr peanut butter has expired yet…

          • SouthSideGeno

            OH…well then…we still luv you, but we luv just about anybody so doan get cocky.

          • Randy

            No no, he just mispelled cuck. Damn autocorrect!

  • Ungaba

    78 votes. We’ve jumped the damn shark or something.

    • SouthSideGeno

      Erreytime Bren and RAD wake up they must forget that they voted and vote again.

  • Ungaba

    Until Fin blesses us with something better…

    http://pens.hockey/how-to-be-a-blogger/

    • MoonStanley

      Lolol