Note to self: Discuss SUNDAY’s Game and how horrible everything is cause everything is awful when you can’t win a game.

<ok so I was just going to have a blurb but I took too many notes to not include something that resembles a recap so away we go>

ARIZONA RECAP
Period 1

Wait what, are you telling me we CAN win games, alright lets see how we can do this with at least a little positivity then.

Ultimately I started this game with the idea that we would lose to the Arizona Pup-yotes and as the first started out I felt very vindicated at that. Opening face-off the Coyotes looked like they were about to go all VGK on us. They win it and immediately take a super dangerous attack. Second face-off and we are looking like we have no idea what we are doing on the ice, AGAIN.

Aaaand now we’re on the PK like we’re really trying to just throw this game right the hell out the window in the first (checks clock) 2 minutes.

Finally a shot on goal, aaaand poof, down 1-0 to the doggos. I have noticed that Rakkel is still on the second line instead of with production magnate Sidney Crosby.

Fast forward some time after that goal and we’re still limping in this game and never shooting the puck. Seriously there was a break on goal and if a shot was taken maybe it stays in the zone or gasp goes in the net. But instead another atrocious pass and a fast break on net by Arizona. A few minutes later (seconds? I really should keep track of times instead of just short hand notes but whatever.) Crosby with what looks like a sure goal and somewhere a brick wall glitches into the net and we are still down 1.

Another coyotes dangerous as hell attack, a Penguins PP that goes no where, and now there’s a exceptionally poor decision leading to a Shorty Attempt. Thank god that DeSmith is awake for this one. Another awful pass this time by rust springs a little something and eventually we get a 5-3, which again is killed. The only ghost right now seems to be our PP. End of 1.

Period 2

Onto the second still another minute plus of 2 man advantage, and we got nothin for Vagmilka, double kill by the ‘yoders. Shortly after this we see a rush with Rakkel at one end and then a chance back in the Pens zone which sees Desmith flopping like magikarp.

Then something amazing happens, something that felt like it wasn’t gonna happen for another 20 minutes, Roto-ruuta pushes the puck from behind the net, Crosby good-touches it across and bing bang boom Guentzel scores. The tie looked like it was about to evaporate after a pass from behind the net went to no-one in front and Arizona was on the way back a shot over the net sprung Guentzel and onther quick series of pass pass shoot and he picks up the brace off Rusty-balls and the wizard of cros makes the pass back to Jake and suddenly we had something that felt like we would never have again. The LEAD (gasparino).

Jake’s brace was just the beginning however, as it looked like that goal awakened the beast and also evolved DeKarp into DeGyrados, a hot glove save and it seemed the oil was getting into the machine parts finally.

There was a little pressure building from Arizona but that was squandered and a racing Zucker makes his way up ice and… somehow HE managed in the vajmiracle’s glove. Another couple seires and a McGuinn mitsake slowly but Senor DeSave keeps the lead.

Nemeth trips up Big Jeff Carter, to set up the Penguins 4th PP of the night which let Rakkel show off his cannon and another high stick gave the pens a yuuge 5 on 3. Which of course they allowed a big shorty chance on but DeSave continued to look like he really had evolved into someone you might be able to trust as a short term starter. Horn for period 2. Good Guys 1-2

Period 3

A massive hit on Pettersson a storm of coyotes start to make their way down the ice and then we see the MVP of early period 3 show up as a stick trips the Gostisbeher (if I remember correctly) fizzling out that attack, a bit of fire wagon goes up and down the ice and then for a minute plus red alert started going on as the Coyotes showed they still had some bite left if not for long.

I realized that I hadn’t even noticed if the third and fourth line were on the ice during the first two periods and suddenly I am seeing Zucker put the puck in the net and realize that they are still playing. A sixth ultimately unsuccessful powerplay leave the Penguins with a very flacid 0-6 pp on the night. With a minute and a half left and an empty net at the doge’s end the Penguins ice the puck. A huge face off goes neutral, a pass finds the puck on the stick of the Biggest, Carterest, Stick and it ends up bullseyed into the net. Elvis grabs the big W and runs out of the building and here we are, the entire tenor of today’s gameday has changed.

GAME 1-4 ‘Guins

Officially Gameday 40

So up tonight it looks like we have the Vangoober Huckyuks a team outside the playoffs by a couple extra points more than your 2023 Pittsburgh Penguins currently are. On paper this should be a win, but knowing that we are looking at either a callup golaie or DeSmith-ers I personally do not have a whole lot of excitement even for this game. As we can see I wasn’t feeling this game as our favorite team to hate to love this season seems to have finally reached the top of the next drop hill on this rollercoaster of a season. The ball has been re-inflated and I am feeling like this should be that win that looked like it may be on paper.

After last night it is basically guaranteed that Sully isn’t making any changes to the lineup so here you go on that front:

We’ve got a Vancouver team who just took a MASSIVE shellacking (7-4) at the hands of the Winnipeg Jets last night. Which does put this in a bit of a terrifying spot on the schedule, they SHOULD be looking to bounce back but at the same time after the past couple weeks the Penguins have to be looking to continue what they started Sunday night.

After watching the Penguins Power Play fail to light the lamp Sunday maybe it is a good thing that the Canucks didn’t take a single penalty in their game against Winnipeg. But the only way to get the PP working again is to give it some gentle squeezing and stretching or so the bent carrot commercials tell me.

I have to assume that the ‘adult-mart light’ Spencer’s Martin will be starting for Vancouver but he was run outta the net against Winnipeg so who knows, it could be just the kryptonite needed to beat the Penguins to put in a relatively cold keeper in Delia.

No news on the IR front as far as I can tell as of time of publishing Letang still mourning the passing of his father, Archibald, Petry and Letang are slated as at the earliest Returning for tonight’s game. Pohling and Jarry are Day to Day with lower bodies, so I assume groinos or kneecaps. Poulin is currently Long-Termed and assumed to be an April return date.

So with all that said I am hoping that this team manages to hold the stitching together and take out a team that they SHOULD to end this road trip with a bang rather than a whimper.

Go PENS!!