Recap 1: Been there, done that


Man, is it good to be back. A summer of celebrating culminated in the raising of the 2016 Stanley Cup Champions Banner to a soundtrack that made it feel like it was after an epic battle in a  video game. There is something about seeing grown men look at a piece of fabric with such pride, as they recall the amount of sweat and blood that went in to its ascension into the rafters. To the surprise of nobody, NBCSports still sucks. Pierre was his typical asexual self, saying the last thing the Penguins want is to go back-and-forth high speed with Washington… Because Orlov and Orpik will be able to keep up with the Pens, eh Pierre?

Jeremy Roenick was all over Holtby’s sack in the post-game saying he is “picking up right where he left off,” with an overtime loss to Pittsburgh, right you are JR. The Capitals sat at home all summer, brewing up hate for the team that broke their Stanley Cup dreams, and any normal person would expect them to come out on a mission in this game. Instead they came out in this game like a teenager with his first Playboy, hard for 60 seconds followed by 40 minutes of crying. Alex Ovechkin, after watching his nemesis best him again during the summer, comes out for revenge with a solid -1 performance, including failing to convert on a shootout attempt to continue the game, great leadership.

1st Period: Shots 11 – 10 WSH, Goals 1-0 WSH

Andre Burakovsky assisted by Backstrom & Johansson @ 0:59

The start the Capitals wanted, get on the board early and suck the life out of the arena (good plan, poor execution). Newsflash for the new season, Olli Maatta is still slower than the speed of smell. I have no clue how this video is at full speed. Typical first goal of the year allowed by Fleury, doesn’t get much easier. Cue the Murray would’ve saved that chat.

2nd Period: Shots 10 – 9 PIT, Goals 2-0 PIT

Patric Hornqvist assisted by Letang & Malkin @ 8:47 PPG

It would be interesting to watch video of the progression of Letangs career on the power play, sooo many times in the past that shot would’ve been directly into a defender. Holtby got his panties in a bunch about a high stick, and then continued to bitch for the rest of the period. Look guy, you had a great season last year, get over yourself, you still play for Washington. Congrats to the majority of the blog readers that picked Horny to score first.

Evgeni Malkin assisted by Sheary @ 18:52

This play brought to you by PPG Paints new shade of Dimtry Orlov shitting his pants out of fear of the Horn train. Connor Sheary makes a smart play and gets the puck to Geno, who shakes, bakes, and breaks Holtby’s ankles. I. AM. SCORE.

3rd Period: Shots 15 – 8 WSH, Goals 1 -0 WSH

Andre Burakovsky (2) assisted by Backstrom & Shitskanen @ 6:13

Maatta with a big mistake after he feels pressure, instead of dumping it in deep he tries to lob a pass into the zone, and is then taken out of the play. Washington is one of the best transition teams in the league, and Trevor Daley is not the best option to have in that situation, though he somehow almost got the puck, but it wasn’t pretty.




3 on 3 is life. Really wish instead of a shootout they would just switch to 2 on 2 followed by 1 on 1 until someone wins, with 0 points going to the loser.



The best goaltender in the world Brayden Holtby against the goalie that shouldn’t be starting Marc-Andre Fleury.

Bonino (Miss) Malkin (Goal) Letang (Goal) Kessel (Goal)
Oshie (Goal) Kuznetsov (Save) Backstrom (Goal) Ovechkin (Sucks)

By the way, Kessels surgically repaired hand is fine… Jesus what a shot.



  • After a promising preseason, Scott Wilson decided he isn’t fit for Geno’s winger, at least not in this one
  • The Maatta – Daley pairing doesn’t excite me too much, and Maatta’s lack of speed is something to look out for as the season progresses, because it is obvious after the playoffs that every team knows about it
  • Fleury’s game was typical of his career, shaky start, decent in the middle, shut the door when the game is on the line.
  • The power play scored, with Geno and no Sid. Remember last season when the power play sucked when Geno was out for the last few weeks?? I’m jusss sayin’

Top 3 #hockeyporn comments from the broadcast (S/O to Midnightrider for this idea)

3rd: “Rocked to his knees, and still stick handling” – Mike “Doc” Emrick

2nd: “The whole Penguisn bench was yelling for Maatta to ‘get it deep’” – Pierre McQuire

1st: “They got on our D a little bit there” – Barry Trotz