SID IS THE BEST ASSMAN EVER. That is all…
It’s The Hope That Kills Ya
Hey there sports fans… this is POJagoff coming to you with your Gameday post. Welcome back to NHL Hockey… sort of (belch).
The Pittsburgh Penguins are wrapping up an incredibly rough 2024 with a matchup against the Detroit Red Wings, and let’s be honest, this game feels about as predictable as New Year’s resolutions—full of hope until it all goes off the rails just like you knew it would.
The Red Wings are in the middle of a rebuild that’s somehow ahead of schedule while still being absolute trash sitting slightly above the Sabres for the bottom of the Atlantic (right where your hopes and dreams are), while the Penguins are clinging to their past glory still like a bronze medalist who insists they’re “third in the world” or whatever.
Strap in, folks; this one’s going to be interesting—or at least mildly entertaining, depending on how much I drink. It’s NYE so… likelihood is high. (slams shot)
Detroit’s young core has been lighting it up lately, with their power play clicking at a respectable 23%. If the Penguins’ penalty kill shows up it could be an interesting matchup. On the other side the Wangs PK% is an abysmal 69% good for almost last in the league. The Pens could capitalize and make them pay but… we all know that can go either way based on the game and how Geno and Sid connect.
As for the Penguins? Let’s just say they’ve been as consistent as Erie’s weather. The team’s been relying heavily on Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin to carry the load, while everyone else seems to be playing hot potato with any actual responsibility. (sound familiar)
“Rakell’s been the bright spot lately, folks. The guy’s been playing like he’s trying to earn himself a lifetime supply of IC Light.”
Recent matchups have been a carousel of blown leads, questionable goaltending, and power-play droughts that could make a cactus blush. Despite an atrocious -21 GD the Pens have clawed their way back to 4th in the Metro which is only 4pts off the bottom of the dumpster fire. Ricky Rakell has been quietly stepping up, showing flashes of the player Pittsburgh hoped they were getting. He’s finding ways to score and generate offense even when the rest of the team looks like they’re skating through mud. Sitting nicely tied with Malkin in the points category is a high note and breaching on levels of players in the past. If Rakell can keep the energy up tonight, maybe—just maybe—the Penguins can end the year on a high note.
“And there’s Dylan Larkin, skating circles around defenders like they’re waiting in line for Primanti Bros.”
On the Red Wings’ side, Dylan Larkin continues to lead by example, showing why he’s the face of Detroit’s rebuild. Larkin’s speed and playmaking ability have been giving defenders nightmares, and if the Penguins’ blue line decides to take the night off (as they often do), expect Larkin to make them pay.
“Either way, folks, it’s hockey, and it’s happening. What more could you ask for?”
The flightless Pens have a chance to end 2024 with something other than a whimper. Will they rise to the occasion or stumble into the new year like someone who started their champagne toast at 6pm? Only time will tell. Puck drops at 7 PM, so grab your favorite New Year’s bevvy and settle in for what could be an absolute thriller—or a comedy of calamity.
Go Pens. Or whatever. At this point, I’m just here for the Jack Daniels. Take over Marty. I’m… in the BAAAAG.
