I’m not sure what these guys are thinking, but they went from 4-0-1 to 4-3-1 faster than I can refill my bourbon glass. Unreal. And who the hell is Pooling, anyway? Nobody asked me if they could sign a dude that sounded like literal shit. JHC, I hand the keys over for a couple of weeks and looks what’s happened to this team! But don’t worry – Ung is back and… well, pissed off is a little too strong. Tired, really. Lazy, too, but that’s always the case.
The Pens limp into Seattle to play at the *checks notes* Climate Pledge Arena, which sounds all nice and altruistic until you realize it’s actually named after a poorly known SC Johnson product used by the Chinese to wipe down all of the smog off their buildings to make them look clean. Yes I’m sure. Look it up.
I have to be honest – I haven’t seen a damn minute of a damn game so far, and that won’t be changing any time soon. I may not be a doctor like my predecessor, and I may not be as talented a writer as him or Dope or Jovi or Zook or TimQ or even, *gulps*, Hutz, but I am, uh…. shoot, lost my train of thought. See above, I guess.
So, the boys are in trouble. No Snek, no Zuck and still no Blue (WTF), and Tanger and Dumo are doing their best impression of a 3rd pairing AHL duo. Thankfully Jarry is still sane and even DeSmith doesn’t TOTALLY suck yet but give him a minute. There are some good things happening, I just literally haven’t seen them. I can only tell you that scoring 6 goals per game was untenable, unrealistic and I definitely miss seeing it. I mean on the phone updates I get.
On the Seattle side, look at all those ex-Penguins! And McCann is already a third liner, good lord. That said, their record isn’t ENTIRELY horrible, and the Pens just lost to the Vansucks, so anything is possible. Anything but me being able to stay up to watch this game, that is.
Thanks for sticking with us, peeps, and thanks to the boys and girls here who are doing the work whilst I’m fucking about. I do miss you all. OK, not Hutz. And I only sort of miss SSG, if we’re being honest…
