RECAP 52: Pens Disappoint LGTB

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I’m going to cut right to the chase here, this game was boring. The Penguins held their Pride Night to show they are cool with the LGTB community, and it is safe to say that any LGTB people checking out hockey for the first time last night won’t be coming back. The Penguins fell victim to their injury bug for most of the game, as new line combinations failed to produce much of anything. To make things even worse I just remembered this was only the first game between the two, so they have to play again…. in Calgary…. I’m predicting 5 viewers for that game.

If you had dinner with your wife, chores around the house, errands to run, or anything else that didn’t allow you to show up for this period don’t worry about it, neither team showed up either. The period ended with 12 shots, total. Social Media was the highlight of the first period for me, these are literal quotes I saw after the 1st (not embedding because I don’t feel like dealing with people this stupid):

“Easily the worst period of hockey this season” – in reference to the Pens

“Murray looks shaky, MAF was hot last game” – there were 7 shots against, an alcoholic in remission wouldn’t have had a problem blocking those

“Breaking in new shoes is the worst” – some people have real problems, here you all are watching a hockey game and this poor man has blisters

 

SO many good lines in such a short clip.

The second period started the exact same way the first period went. To give you some perspective, 10 minutes into this period our blogczar was looking into buying www.philadelphia.lol because there was nothing else to do, and because Philadelphia, LOL.

At 16:19 Sidney Crosby decided to pull his best Agent 101 imitation from 2012, and Michael Ferland said thanks:

 

Love the snark in that tweet. “Heading to town.”

2 minutes later the Flames put on a passing clinic that left Matt Murray daed and confused for so long it’s not true, and Michael Frolik finished the play.

 

First thing that came up when I searched Frolik on twitter, second thing that popped up was personal.

 

Footage looks like it is from the 90’s, but whatever. Great passing play by the Flames, awesome defense by the Pens. The period would finally end 2-0 Flames.

Well the Penguins couldn’t do us all a favor and forfeit the third, so at least they decided to make things interesting. 5 minutes in we see the two best friends that ever was connect, and then there was hope:

CHRIS KUNITZ (7) Assisted by CROSBY (30) & LETANG (22) @5:51

 

Man how hard did Ocho Cinco try to sell that head shot? Good hands by Kunitz to see that opening in the net and go for it. Kunitz was also the teams Gay Pride Ambassador so this made the PR team very happy.

The game carried on and the Penguins decided they wouldn’t mind having an extra point in the standings. Shift after shift they brought their hodgepodge mixture of lines down the ice time and time again, and as momma always says. if it keep’s on rainin’ the levee’s goin’ to break. No, Robert Plant wasn’t your mom, but he was most likely inside her at some point.

LICK MY GUENTZEL (5) Assisted by COLE (15) @ 15:06

 

What can you say about Jake-n-bake, the dude knows how to score. (insert sexual innuendo here)

People took to Twitter claiming their love for Guentzel, and saying they think he should be a permanent NHLer… no shit, that’s why he’s been on the roster for 10 straight games.

The Pens tried and tried to win before overtime, and Justin Schultz nearly brought the house down with a play that looked like something Edmonton general managers once circle jerked to. Unfortunately the puck hit the post and the period would end.

 

#signSchultzplease #we’llstartagofundme #tits

3 on 3 overtime was fun for the first 2 minutes, and Calgary scored at some point in this overtime but Murray’s mask was knocked off so the play was automatically dead. Errey and Steigerwald want you to think that if Calgary had clean possession after his mask came off it would’ve counted… once the goalies mask is off the play is dead. Then Trevor Daley took the laziest penalty we’ve seen recently resulting in 4 on 3 OT which is generally a killer, and Calgary brought their A game. The Penguins penalty killers put on an absolute clinic. Nick Bonino, Ian Cole, Matt Cullen and Tom Kuhnhackl stood out the most, each of them registering multiple blocked shots and clears. Bonino and Cole may have played the full 2 minutes to be honest. The Pens couldn’t build momentum in the final 50 some seconds after the kill to put the game away so we would go to a shootout. Just want to mention one more time, phenomenal penalty killing, highlight of the game by far for the Pens.

Love him or hate him, Fleury is the teams best option in net for shootouts. Sullivan could’ve switched Murray for Fleury with 10 seconds left in overtime and nobody would’ve questioned it.

The Pens rolled with Kessel first and no goal. The Flames first shooter, Player X (I don’t feel like looking it up) deked Murray into next week and slid the puck in.

Chad Johnson closed his legs on Crosby inconsiderately fast considering it was Gay Pride night, and Murray stoned the Flames next shooter. The game came down to Kris Letang, who beat Johnson cold put rang it off the pipe. No dice, no extra point, goodnight.

THOUGHTS:

  • Scott Wilson left the bench at some point during the game, if he is injured that will be yet another left winger out.
  • Tom Kuhnhackl looked the same as he always does, solid. From my perspective he fits Sullivan’s mold perfectly, so there must be factors that we as fans can’t see to explain why he doesn’t get into more games
  • Obligatory Justin Schultz comment
  • Sullivan mixed up the lines all night, it is understandable with 3 of your top 9 out. Getting a point out of this game after trailing by 2 is an accomplishment.
  • On that note, we got to see some Crosby and Guentzel action, and since Hagelin is out I will settle for the as my Hagelin-Guentzel-Kessel wish obviously won’t happen
  • 52 games down already, only 30 to go. Man the season flies while doing this blogging stuff.

Enjoy yer HARD fought LGBTQUOT Stanley Cup wet dream win tonight Flamers… Cause you’ll be waking up tomorrow in a puddle of
“out of the playoffs” sorrow.

Flame On Seaaaan…Pik-a-Porn

  • 10) "Squeeze those legs, squeeze them a little tighter." -- Errey (29%, 8 Votes)
  • 7) “More magic? Oh yeah. Come on back for that.” -- Errey (14%, 4 Votes)
  • 11) "Hornqvist got his nose in there but not his stick." -- Steigy (14%, 4 Votes)
  • 2) “The bingo balls are out.” -- Steigy (11%, 3 Votes)
  • 3) “Wilson came in the back door.” -- Steigy (11%, 3 Votes)
  • 8) “Just came ever so slowly.” -- Errey (11%, 3 Votes)
  • 9) "Tight triangle for the Penguins." -- Errey (7%, 2 Votes)
  • 1) "Kunitz sneaking it in on him nicely." -- Steigy (4%, 1 Votes)
  • 6) “He can make things happen from the back end.” -- Steigy (0%, 0 Votes)
  • 5) “Rowney works it toward the slot.” -- Steigy (0%, 0 Votes)
  • 4) “Who’s got the big one in this game?” -- Errey (0%, 0 Votes)
  • 12) "I'm not sure what happen but he was down on all fours." -- Steigy (0%, 0 Votes)

Total Voters: 28

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