The Penguins continue taking their show on the road tonight as they pay one final visit to The Joe in Detroit. It only makes sense that the Redwings are getting a new hockey arena, considering that the entire city is nothing but vacant buildings there is plenty of locations to choose from. It is also fitting that the Redwings will be ending their playoff streak in their final season at The Joe, taking away the cities last saving grace and respectable feature. To commemorate The Joe Detroit has posted a huge 7-10-3 mark at home, adding to the delicious decision of Detroit to build a new arena that the city can’t afford because there aren’t any taxpayers left for a team that will be rebuilding for the first 3 years of said buildings existence to play in.
The Redwings currently sit at the bottom of the Eastern Conference and are starting their back-up’s back-up’s equipment manager in goal tonight, so this one is probably a 7-1 blow out for Detroit. Rumors are Mike Sullivan is feeling a little sensitive and will be starting Marc-Andre Fleury in goal one last time at The Joe, because Fleury has some sort of memories there or something:
Every time I hear Athanasiou I hear “HAPPY TO SEE YOU,” and now you will too, you’re welcome. Am I the only person that forgot Vanek was still in the league? I’m not kidding this time, I truly thought he retired like 2 years ago or something. Sullivan has been sticking with Olesky despite the fact that he takes 1.5 penalties per game, so he will probably do that again. I absolutely refuse to put Rust and Sheary on the first line so I will not adjust that graphic and you can’t make me. Like I said above, Fleury is rumored to start but after a subpar performance by Murray against Ottawa I wouldn’t mind seeing him again. Who in the hell are these guys on Detroit’s defense? Mike fucking Green, who reportedly is upset about the new arena because he will now have to ride his vespa through a famously occupied bloods area, and Dickeyser are the only names I know. I thought I knew Ouellet, until I discovered it is Xavier Ouellet… Also what happened to Steve Ott?
The Penguins enter tonight following back to back regulation losses for the first time in over a season. They face a team that has struggled in every way this year except for one (Detroit is 5-0 in shootouts….woo). This game results in two things, a Detroit Pistol Whip as the Penguins decide now is a good time to reestablish their alpha dominance over the league, or a Pittsburgh Pussy Show and we all pretend that we didn’t care because we are more interested in the Steelers game tomorrow. Regardless of the result, just remember that you don’t live in fucking Detroit, so that makes you a winner.
The Washington Capitals have once again established dominance in the regular season. Congratulations, enjoy Miami in May.
The inevitable Alex Ovechkin point to reach 1000 for his career. 35 seconds into the game the Capitals get the puck in the Pens zone and go the other way. Ovechkin starts on the outside with the puck and almost effortlessly works his way in to a prime scoring area as Letang was most likely thinking about how he forgot to get his kid out of the car or something. A well deserved standing ovation was given to Ovechkin afterwards, one of the most prolific goal scorers to ever play the game, the talent we’ve been subjected to over the last decade is just unreal.
The following 19:25 of the period are up and down, but nothing else went in. Caps 1-0.
The second started the way the majority of the first went until the Capitals got a powerplay. After some smooth passing Ovechkin was found in literally the same spot he is always in, and Letang looked like he was trying to play “Where’s Waldo.” The shot Ovechkin released most likely ends Fleury’s life if it hits him in the head. A great Bonino pass sprung Kessel, but he wasn’t able to capitalize. Kessel with the “you’re dead to me” look at the 2:03 part of the highlight video is going to be a gif. Again only an Ovechkin goal so the period ends Caps 2-0.
Despite their uncanny ability to come back from 2 goal deficits, the Penguins historically have struggled in doing so against Washington. The next goal was obviously going to be huge and it came from the stick of Justin Williams after Olesky belly-flopped to the ice. Kuznetsov went around the net and then threw a sneaky pass the opposite direction to give Williams a tap in goal. Maatta was waiting for Kuznetsov at the opposite post, or something. 3-0 in the third, plan the parade.
The Penguins got the ball rolling on a powerplay later on, when the non-All Star Justin Shultz picked up his 19th assist of the season by feeding a one-timer to Evgeni Malkin (17), who buried it. Kessel with the other assist (27).
5 or so minutes later the Caps were on the powerplay and for some fucking reason Ian Cole was on the ice. Capitals powerplay + Ian Cole = Goal. Captain America TJ Oshie basically fell asleep with the puck waiting for Backstrom to get in place, and it was a simple tap in behind Fleury.
A few minutes later the Penguins were on the powerplay again, and again they cashed in as Sidney Crosby picked up his 19th assist feeding a pass to the crease for Hornqvist’s 10th of the season. NBCSN looovvvveeedddd Crosby’s pass, but watch the video, get out the lube and enjoy Kessel’s 28th assist of the season to Crosby. What a great pass.
Lars Eller would then shoot a puck that bounced off Letang’s head and into the empty net, perfectly summing up the night for the Pens.
GAME
Thoughts:
4 of the 6 goals (not counting the EN) were scored on the powerplay by these two powerhouse teams
The Penguins looked like a team that had played 1 game in 10 days
Once the Pens get back into motion there isn’t a team in the East (and most likely the league) that can hang with either of these two
4 goals given up by Fleury, but you would be stretching it to say Murray does much better in this one. Honestly when both teams are healthy I don’t think these two goalies should look at their GAAs for the game
Losing to the caps sucks, but losing in the regular season is just that, 2 points.
ANDDDDD NOW WE TRAVEL NORTH OF THE BORDER…
Gameday forty-fucking-one. Halfway done already, damn how it flies. And tonight we get to meet some old friends over at SensChirp, you can visit their blog at
The last time these two teams met there were 13 goals scored, and tonight I feel the same thing happening and here is why: it is the second game of a back-to-back on the road following a loss to a rival and I really think Sullivan tells the offense to go wide open tonight. Letting the team loosen up and just play tonight would be a great tactic in my opinion, and I truly think we see it tonight.
The condom in the crease, an instant Disney Classic. Matt Murray was cleared for yesterday’s game while Fleury got the nod so that means tonight:
The Penguins don’t have any spare forwards right now since Kuhnhackl is still mysteriously injured **coughconspiracy keeping Kuhnhackl from being expansion eligible coughhh**so the forwards will most likely be the same. Sullivan went with Olesky last night so Ruhwedel may get a crack at it tonight, and should in my opinion after a shaky game from the oilsky last night. Also, since when is Hoffman on the Sens third line? I always forget Phaneuf is still alive, I tend to lump him in with Pronger in my head, and to be fair they are both equally effective at this stage for their respective teams.
Will never get old.
Unfortunately for Ottawa, the site of Phaneuf will get old since they are paying him SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS THROUGH 2021. To wrap your head around that, the Senators will be paying Phaneuf during the next presidential election.
The Penguins played a relatively good game last night, it was just obvious that they were rusty and the Capitals weren’t. Tonight fatigue shouldn’t be much of a factor since the Pens have played 2 games in January, and as mentioned above I look for them to loosen up defensively a bit in an attempt to open the gates offensively. These two teams do put on a good show when they square off, so we should be in for some good hockey tonight.
“Shake with your right hand, but hold a rock in the left.” — Frank Underwood
we lost…butt paybacks are cumin
'Capital City Shitty' ...Pick a cherry from our Porn-u-copia!
1) "Good scissors with the legs by Fleury." -- Eddie O (32%, 8 Votes)
6) “He wants it. He takes it.” -- PeeAir (20%, 5 Votes)
5) “Malkin works it back in deep.” -- Doc (16%, 4 Votes)
4) "See you in Hollowood" -- Geno Malkin (12%, 3 Votes)
3) "Just amazing how quick Holtby is ...down low." -- Eddie O (12%, 3 Votes)
2) "Horny was deep in the zone." -- Doc (8%, 2 Votes)