Hey there puckheads… this is POJagoff back in action with your Gameday post. As always, I’ll do my best to sound like I know what’s happening on the ice—but let’s face it, you’re really here so you can diddle each other in the comments section. As for the Penguins’ current form, they’ve developed a real talent for turning two-point opportunities into single-point disappointments. In their last three games against the Panthers, Canes and most recently the BJ’s, they decided once again to lose in overtime because, apparently winning games in regulation is so last decade. Sidney Crosby is still doing his Yoda / Luke thing with Rakell and they are doing everything they can to drag this team along, but the rest of the roster looks like they’re already mentally on the driving range.

Tonight, the Penguins host the Edmonton Oilers at the Paint Can in what could generously be described as a clash of two teams trying to figure out how to claw out of the middle of their proverbial divisions.

Adding some spice to the matchup, rumors are swirling that the Oilers have their eyes on Penguins defenseman Marcus Pettersson. Maybe Edmonton’s scouts saw him and thought, “Hey, that guy looks great at blocking shots… off his own teammates.” Speaking of mediocrity, did you know that not one Penguin defenseman has a positive +/- this year? I’ll give you one guess as to who has the worst one and it’s not Marky Marcus and the Funky Bunch.

“Well, folks, let’s see if the Pens can go a whole game without sending McDavid to the power play. That’d be a New Year’s miracle right there.” Edmonton’s power play remains the NHL’s best weapon, clicking at a mind-boggling 30%. If Connor McDavid and Leon Draisaitl get rolling with the man advantage, the Penguins’ penalty kill might as well be replaced by traffic cones.

“Tristan Jarry, folks. The guy deserves hazard pay for the number of odd-man rushes he’s faced this season.” Let’s give a shoutout to JAR-E and NED, who’s been the only reason some of these games haven’t turned into total blowouts. Even so, their collective efforts put them smack dab in the middle of the stats side for netminders this year with the exact same save % of .888 and slightly similar GAA’s w/ Jars a little ahead with a 3.22 GAA, an entire goal more than the league leader Hellebuyck.

“And there’s McDavid, skating past defenders like they’re statues in a wax museum. Classic.” On Edmonton’s side, all eyes are, of course, on Connor McDavid. The guy skates like he’s got a turbo button on his taint and scores goals that make you question if he’s even human. If the Penguins’ defense doesn’t tighten up, McDavid’s highlight reel might end up featuring a whole section dedicated to tonight’s game.

“When it comes to Penguins hockey, there’s one thing you can always count on: it’ll make you feel something—even if it’s just mild regret.” So there you have it, folks. Another game, another chance for the Penguins to surprise us—or at least provide some entertainment for the opposing fans. Will it be a win, a loss, or some new creative way to make us cry? Only one way to find out. Grab your popcorn, strap in, and get ready for the madness.

Let’s Go Pens!