We decided to wake you up this Tuesday with an early April Fools Day joke. Now you don’t have to suffer through it on Saturday, you’re welcome and I’m sorry if you hate us now. But we also did it to bring some attention to a little some something we have been diligently working on and are finally proud to release to you!

What’s in store for you? A store!

We’re premiering our online store today, where Moonie can find such luxurious hand-crafted items as:

And:

Currently in production: “Fleury Saves too, just somewhere else” I kid I kid, we love them both.

Will it be continually updated with all of our hilarious jokes?

Yes! We’ll put so many unfunny jokes on shirts that you’ll go the rest of your days naked in protest.

Where will the money go to?

As you may or may not know, the main contributors to this blog do it completely for free. We put an ad up a few months ago and can nearly retire off of the $9 it has made. We love what we’ve created and want to keep it going for a long time so 100% of the funds will go towards hosting this website, more failed attempts at contests, and maybe someone will win the MegaMattaMillions while he is playing in Las Vegas. Our goal is to provide Pens fans with unique shirts that don’t look like some 45 year old that gets paid to slap the word “Penguins” sideways on a shirt design. Of course we will update you every time a new shirt is released, and we promise not to always pull a practical joke on you first, but it was pretty funny, no?

Will you make enough money to spend on other things?

No, it’s a shirt and we have like 6 viewers. If we do make enough we would love to actually have contests that don’t fail, or something else, I don’t fucking know, man.

How do I get to the store?

Look both ways and click here.