Recap 7: Flame Out

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It was 90’s night in Pittsburgh. We don’t deserve Dan Potash.

Carter still on the shelf. Along with Sid and Geno and Letang, who apparently wasn’t returning Sully’s phone calls. No matter, dance with who brought you.

Ah the 90’s. Mullets were disappearing, being replaced by grunge and flannel. It was a Very Good Time to be a teenager, as there was a general lull in terribleness and social media had not yet been invented. The music of the decade EXPLODED, having suffered through disco and then techno-synth, teenybopping, jelly bracelet wearing ridiculousness.

Just look at those and tell me the 90’s wasn’t amazing

And of course, there was hockey…

Of course, the 2010’s were pretty good too…

But enough with the trip down memory lane – there’s hockey afoot!

So I tried this thing where I didn’t watch or listen to or follow the game on Twitter. At the suggestion of one of our regulars, I merely observed the motley bunch of whackadoos in our comment section. As usual, they did not disappoint.

In the first period, Marino remembered that he was playing the part of Letang, and behaved accordingly. Johnny Gaudreau said thank you very much and the peanut gallery would leap into action. 1-0 Bad Guys.

Zucker had a couple looks. And then ended up with a butt end in the teefs and head to head off for repairs. Ouchie.

Apparently, that would be it for the first. The Pens had some chances, but Markstrom whipped out his inner Halak and reminded the Penguins that they shouldn’t be allowed to have nice things. I mean, look at this BS:

And that was against co-leading goal scorer Drew O’Connor! If Drew can’t score with that look…

The second period happened. There were no comments to prove it. No highlights either.

Oh, there was a 5 on 3 powerplay for the home team. Why these Pens can’t make anything happen on those is one of life’s great mysteries.

The 3rd would begin with some confusion in the Pens zone. Coleman would take advantage with a seeing-eye shot from up high. 2-0 Jerkfaces.

There was some back and forth with the Pens getting some chances and Dorkstrom standing tall. Then, as often happens, the Pens would take chances. Too many chances, apparently. And a guy named Lube or something was left with too much time and space and OfSmith was helpless to stop him. 3-0 Scumbags.

Then Lolucic scored, which is just rude. 4-0

Game.

Thoughts:

  • Outscored 9-1 over the last two games. Woof.
  • The boys were shot out of a cannon the first 5 games, but lack of finishing is catching up to them these last two.
  • Does this game go differently with Sid/Geno/Carter down the middle? I dunno, but you have to think at least one of those 45 shots would maybe have gone somewhere other than the middle of Markstrom’s stomach.
  • Sid this weekend? Looking likely. And when are Carter’s 10 days up or whatever? WE need them back. ASAP