https://sports.yahoo.com/another-one-pittsburgh-penguins-trade-050255667.html

After leaving a thick brown streak across the West, the Penguins have gimped their way back to the Eastern time zone. God bless, because those late games were painful.

On deck we have the Nashville Predators, currently staring Steven Stamkos, Jonathan Marchessault, Ryan O’Reilly, Roman Josi and Brady Skjei, to name a few. Yep, Nashville and Barry Trotz went all in and shelled out ~ $108.5 million in contracts. What can this type of money buy you?

A bottom three spot in the conference and a 30th rank in goals. Oh, and no shot in hell of making the playoffs. Stamkos and Marchessault had trouble scoring early in the season, due to the fact that the rest of the lines are filled with cardboard cut-outs. However, their play has picked up, and one of them will likely score or get an assist.

This weeks case study: You have 23 men, between the ages of 20 – 37, who all come down with the same illness. Their torsos are hyper-flexed and their craniums have migrated into their rectums. How would you work this up?

Well, I would like to CT their brains to see why they cannot hold onto a 2-goal lead or beat an AHL team. I would also like to check their urine for any substance that could cause stupidity. Also, check for carbon monoxide poising, leading to poor decision making.

How would you treat these patients?

A) Fire the coach

B) Fire the General Manager

C) Sell team to Kansas

D) Trade for a winger for Crosby

E) A and B

F) Watch the Pirates

LGP