Gameday 48: Just Do The Thing

3rd time this week. Last time this season. Sweet baby jeezus, the end is nigh! The Penguins tacked another loss on Jersey’s current streak bringing that number to 9 in a row. And while Tuesday night was a lesson in ‘hey idiots, they’re still an NHL team, so when you’re up by 6 you should probably still consider being cautious’, Thursday night was a clear and confident response that the Boys were hearin’ what Sully was sayin’.

While we’re talking about it, it’s a crime that no Penguins coach is ever really considered for the Jack Adams. This year may not be Sully’s best, but considering the change in GM, the continued ridiculous amount of injuries, and the ability to DEAL with superstars who have been known to be coach killers in the past, I think he deserves at least some moderate consideration. Maybe this is the NHL’s payback for 5 Stanley Cups in 26 years? OK, so if that’s the price, fine. But still – if you’re going to have awards like ‘best coach’ you should probably, I dunno, pick the best coach. Whatever, stupid soapbox for now, I know.

If you missed last game, the big news was the return of Kaspari Kapanen who wasted very little time making his presence felt. The guy has an arrogance about him, as evidenced by his demeanor during interview and the Betty Boop tattoo on his right bicep (don’t ask me why I think that’s arrogant – it probably isn’t, and if you like tattoos it’s pretty funny really), but that particular brand of arrogance seems to be working out OK. I mean, it helps when he can “set both Pratt & Whitney’s in his ass to full throttle” (what a gem from Zook) and make defenses and goalies alike look like a bunch of scared chickens running away from a fox.

In other injury news, Geno is back in the locker room and taking regular practices with his boys, and even if he’s not particularly close to a return, his mojo in the room can do nothing but help. And vice versa, I’m sure. Geno always seems to do his best when his team needs him and wants him around. Which makes sense. What’s not to love?

On the other bench… well, nobody cares. No really, I mean it. Nobody cares. I think probably 100,000 people in New Jersey care about hockey in general, but part of that was because an Italian guy was on the team for the last 14 decades, and since they traded Palmieri what is there to care about? You telling me that Joey Donuts down at Jimmy’s Pizza gives two shits about *checks notes* some dude named Kuokkanen? Or Boqvist? Or Sharangovich?

Granted, there is some talent there. And they’ll be more fun to watch in the future, for sure. Hughes and Hischier could be a solid 1-2 punch at center for that team for many years. They could also collectively shit the bed, but the point is youth is ascendant in Newark and that can only be a good thing for their future.

Unfortunately for them, their future is also happening now. And they’re about to get their third in a row against a team that outscored them 11-1 in the last 5 periods in which they were actually trying. ‘But Ung,’ you whine, ‘what about the 3rd period on Tuesday??? Why are you skipping that???’ Because, dear reader, the entire Penguins team, with the limited exception of Sidney Crosby, skipped that. So WE apparently don’t care too much about it. Judging by their response on Thursday, the rest of the boys agree with me.

From a standings perspective, it could hardly be any tighter (heheheh).

The Pens did their part and won to move into second. The idiot Crapitals waited until the shootout (of a zero zero game, OMG ARE YOU KIDDING ME) to get their two points, which means the Isles and Pens are in a virtual tie. For this to go the way we’d like… you know what, nvm. I don’t do predictions. Suffice it to say, the situation is TIGHT.

It’s Saturday afternoon. The lawn can wait. The chores can wait. And besides, who are you kidding? Your hangover from last night is just starting to wear off anyway. So grab a little hair of the dog, park your ass in front of the TV, and…