Recap 32: Ugh

Let’s get this over with…

Not a lot happened. At all. For the entire game. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Just over three and a half minutes in, Sid created a Sid play…

Crosby (12) from Guentzel (17), Rust (12) – 3:37 – EV

A nifty passing play finished off from the goal line (practically). A little luck was required, but it did the thing and suddenly there were thoughts of ‘hey maybe scoring first would be a good thing’. Narrator: it was not a good thing.

I warned yinz. I said I had things to do. First road trip for work in over a year and I had to get ready. Believe me when I tell you I understand why nobody else spoke up, but still…

I did watch some of this game. I’m sad that I did. It was so bad even Grover was feeling it.

Yes, it was that bad. JFC there weren’t even any penalties to spice things up.

Good lord, is this game still going on? Why didn’t they just agree to stop after 20 minutes and save us all? Brunch would have been so much better. Sami Vatanen, who used to live in sunny California and love his life, took out some of his getting traded to New Jersey anger.

Gotta clear the zone when you can. Maybe they were thinking about crepes…

The entire rest of the period happened. And this was the EXCITING period! There were four penalties. Then Pens showed they prefer not trying new things but attempting the same zone entry literally every time. The Devils were able to get in the zone, they just are the Devils and sucked about it and still managed to make it look boring and stupid.

20 more minutes in the books.

FINALLY it was the 3rd period. Surely this will be the best part of the game – the ending is near. 20 minutes is more than enough time to finish this right? Surely life isn’t so cruel as to demand more of our time and energy and lifeforce to commit to watching two teams both at the end of their ropes looking like they’d be happier watching paint dry than subjecting the 1800+ poor souls who braved a gawddammed pandemic to come watch this travesty in person, right??



I mean really, how did you think this would end? With us happy? Oh you sweet summer child…

I couldn’t turn the TV off fast enough. I did just find this, though, and while I normally don’t toot the horn of any other team for any reason ever because this is HOCKEY, DAMMIT, this made me laugh.

Come on, that’s funny.

Thank goodness for two days off. They really need the rest. So does my liver.

Thanks to you all for sticking around with us, by the way. I moan and complain sometimes but this is a labor of love and having even a couple of people to share it with makes it worth it. See yinz again soon.