Gameday 29: Christmastime Is About Baby Stuff


It’s always a fun time when the New York Rangers come to Pittsburgh, but ever since last March and Henrik Lundqvist’s infamous “baby stuff” moment, it’s been apparent that the Penguins are in Lundqvist’s and the Rangers’ heads.  The Penguins have an 11-3 record against the Rangers and a 9-1 record against Lundqvist since March 3, 2016, including the 4-1 series win in the First Round in 2016 that launched started the first of two Cups in as many years.

There was a brief, four year window for the Rangers when they looked like Stanley Cup contenders.  They made the Finals in 2014, made two Conference Finals appearances in 2012 and 2015, and a Semifinals appearance in 2013.  Since then, they have returned to not getting past the second round, capped by last year’s loss to the Ottawa Senators.  They thought they were taking the easy route to the Conference Finals by dragging their feet and ending up in the Atlantic Division bracket, and they would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling Senators.

Alain Vigneault has helmed the Rangers since taking over in 2013 for current Columbus Blue Jackets head coach John Tortorella (himself no stranger to getting eliminated by the Penguins), and with the Rangers presently sixth in the Metropolitan Division – three points behind the Penguins, five points behind the division-leading Blue Jackets – it’s reasonable to suspect that he may be feeling increasing warmth under his ass.  In fairness, it’s not his fault the Rangers’ front office has done a terrible job of managing their roster.  Lundqvist is 35 and is raking in $8.5 million/year for this and the next three seasons, and his numbers are in clear decline from that four-year span from 2012 to 2015:

  • 2012-2015 regular season: .925 save%, 2.16 GAA, 20 SO, .629 quality start%
    2012-2015 postseason: .930 save%, 2.05 GAA, 6 SO, .661 quality start%
  • 2016-present regular season: .916 save%, 2.61 GAA, 8 SO, .585 quality start%
    2016-2017 postseason: .897 save%, 3.32 GAA, 1 SO, .633 quality start%

Along with Lundqvist, seven of the Rangers’ nine most expensive contracts have no-trade/no-movement clauses attached to them.  Rick Nash is in the last year of his $7.8 million/year contract and is looking just about done as he’s on pace to barely crack forty points; it’s his lowest points-per-game rate since his rookie season in Columbus.  But ultimately it’s Lundqvist who is the lynchpin for the Rangers’ current and near-term mediocrity.  They rolled the dice on extending him prior to their Cup run in 2014, and they haven’t gotten that close since.  Meanwhile, they’ve had to part ways with Cam Talbot and Antti Raanta because they were going to lose one or the other to the expansion draft, goaltenders who could be good if they didn’t play for defensively-inept Edmonton or Arizona.  At least Lundqvist has some help with his defensemen, but now he’s not living up to the big bucks he’s being paid.

So, as is typical of this and most head coaching gigs, when you have the job, it’s only yours so long as the team under your charge is and will remain competitive.  Maybe Vigneault won’t be fired in the next twelve months as I suspect he might be.  Maybe the Rangers will find their way through the melee that is the Metropolitan Division.  But right now they are at the bottom of the pack of six teams within five points of first, and the Hurricanes are breathing down their necks at just three points behind.  It cannot feel great to have been eclipsed by both the Devils and the Islanders, teams very recently given up for dead, and if the ‘Canes get in front of them too, heads will probably start rolling come mid-January.  (The only really decent trade bait they have is leading goal scorer Michael Grabner, a 30-year-old right winger making $1.65 million, who always shoots first and never asks questions.)

The Rangers’ window is likely already closed.  They may find out a couple years too late.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    @SouthSideGeno…gimme dat toy drop baby stuff gif as a Featured Comment please.

    • SouthSideGeno

      whoopsie….I just remembered that you wanted me to ‘feature’ it too ; )

  • Great writeup, as always

    Also that baby stuff dance.. Man, the split second(ish) face during that turn. Too perfect

    • SouthSideGeno

      fank you ; )

      • Ungaba

        Yes, definitely love the face on that turn.

        TOP NOTCH

  • SouthSideGeno
    • Rad88

      I think this is thefirst time I’ve noticed the crowned pile of shit on the top. The gif that keeps giving

      • Ungaba

        Holy cow, I never saw it either! Wowza.

  • Rad, if I paid you money like TPB does would you stop posting for them?

    I’m not saying this to compete, because there’s no competition. They’re already dead. I’m offering it for your mental health. Doing two of these a game while working a doctor’s schedule is unreasonable

    • PensPointsYourMom

      wait…tPB pays Rad?

      • They offered to pay us a while ago (before they found out I dont write anything) but it wasn’t much. IIRC like five bucks a post?

        • PensPointsYourMom

          Rich stuff.

          • Rad88

            yeah man, banking 10 a post is slowly building my 401K

          • Ungaba

            …slowly

        • SouthSideGeno

          Sooooo…can we have that watermellon rind and orange peel …if yer not gonna give it to the dogs, sir? Dopefishy, dopeguppy and I haven’t eaten in 87 days : /

          • yinz savin lives at the same time?

          • SouthSideGeno

            …your’s, so far ; )

          • randy

            Yap. Volunteer firefighter. They also give about $5 worth of Mac n cheese as a daily stipend, because erreyone needs to eat, right?

          • SouthSideGeno

            It’s the cheeze that binds

          • All your wishes are granted

          • SouthSideGeno

            YOU HAVE THE YOUGEST AMAZEBALZ <3

    • This isn’t a rhetorical question, I should have probably emailed or texted it but I’m dumb today I guess

      • Ungaba

        Must be the toof.

        • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

          the poison gas toof? the TOOOOOOFFFF!

          • SouthSideGeno

            #DAVIDLYNCHDUNEREFERENCE<3

    • Rad88

      I like how you had to say paid you money, like I would’ve thought you would pay me something else haha

  • randy

    Errey in the banner: I love that guy’s spunk!! 😀

    • So do the ladies

      • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

        #sessist #dudeslovespunktoo

        • randy

          Do dudes love the lady spunk?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            #cervicalmucus

          • randy

            A friend of mine had a different name for it. One which I shall not repeat.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            awe…you tease.

          • Ungaba

            DAMMIT NO

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            #luvallspunk

          • PensPointsYourMom

            #IfYouCanSprayYouCanPlay

      • randy

        Btw: I saw the dental comments in the previous post. A big ole Canadian “sorry” about that. I’m in the same boat, spent 5 months in Latin America and came back with two cracked teeth and have been putting off fixing them because anything to do with teeth is the worst.

        • Rad88

          “sore-ee”

        • RIGHT?!

          If it was even just 30 minutes of excruciating pain I could take that. But TWO HOURS in this chair with a bunch of metal shit in my mouth? eeeeaugh. Getting the xanax ready.

          • Rad88

            you’re still in the chair while blogging? That’s how you get the blogczar title everyone

          • rhetorical “this”

          • Ungaba

            Sedation dentistry is pretty popular nowadays.

            Of course, so is ‘anal rape’.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Which of the two would you say YOU enjoy moar?

          • randy

            I’d take being raped anally if it meant my teeth would just get magically fixed. No question.

          • Ungaba

            WOW. That’s a ‘no’ from me, thanks!

          • j-b0t

            If you never knew it happened, did it really happen?

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            ABORT

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            That’s why you need Sean Connery’s patented “Anal Bum Cover”!

          • randy

            Knock me out Cole is what I’m telling these guys. It’s my front tooth and the grinding is the worst pain I’ve ever felt. Rather be burned alive then having my front tooth grinded down.

          • j-b0t

            I wrote a big conspiratorial comment about the dentistry thing in the last post before realizing a new post was up. I’m kind of glad it’s on the less visible page.

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            Lots of dentists are scam artists, but that’s basically all service professions so…

          • Just had to go back and re-read it. I don’t necessarily agree, since they do X-rays and you can see the decay/impacted nerves, and there’s substantial evidence of getting serious health problems if you let that shit go.

            Though I do agree with skin care. Went to a derma about my backne last month and he took maybe 10 seconds looking at it, if that, and prescribed me 3 months of accutane.

            Since that shit is terrifying (it actually shrinks your frontal lobe, says some Harvard study I read), I decided to just apply benzoyl on my back manually. And literally TWO WEEKS LATER my backne of like 10 years cleared up. It’s almost 100%. Accutane would have taken 3 months, maybe not even worked, and wrecked havoc on my body.

          • j-b0t

            a girl I dated once used prescription acne medication, and it literally tore apart her face.

          • randy

            Where’s PPYM with those beetle juice masks?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            your internet works perfectly fine, you do it.

          • randy

            actually it’s not so good here during peak blawging times

          • PensPointsYourMom

            *your imagination works perfectly fine, you do it.

          • Ungaba

            My daughter had serious acne issues. She was very meticulous about washing, using the right stuff, etc. Went to a very reputable dermo in Peters who’s known to treat pro athletes. Tried lots of stuff first. Acutane was a last resort and a MAJOR pain in the rear, but it worked wonders for her. Now she’s clear and back to regular stuff and still got into the Honors College so I don’t think her brain shrunk too much…

          • “RESULTS:
            Isotretinoin but not antibiotic treatment was associated with decreased brain metabolism in the orbitofrontal cortex (-21% change versus 2% change for antibiotic), a brain area known to mediate symptoms of depression.”

            Not about gettin’ dumb but gettin’ depression

          • I’m not gunna pretend I know how to read the study at all, just doesn’t sound good to me /shrug

          • Ungaba

            Fair. She’s done with it anyway, so I guess that’s good.

          • randy

            Have yinz looked into SLS (sodium laurel / laureth sulphate) that shit is pretty nasty for your skin. It’s totally unnecessary as a foaming agent, basically just makes things bubbly which gives the perception that it’s cleaning more, but really, it does a lot more damage than good. Getting my family to switch to SLS free toothpaste right now… my daughter is only getting acne on her chin, and she says the toothpaste is helping (for what that’s worth).

          • PensPointsYourMom

            We stopped using SLS products a couple years ago. Really frking tricky because shit like dish dishwashing and laundry detergent don’t label the ingredients. Yeah and the Tide “Clear” or whatever their “healthy” one is, totally has it.

          • randy

            Any particular reason? I’m very against that shit, seeing how oily my scalp was every day when I woke up (back to normal now).

          • PensPointsYourMom

            My gf reads stuff, and proclaims it. I don’t disagree. But if you asked me why I couldn’t point you to anything specific I know.

          • randy

            One thing to really watch out for is dihydrogen monoxide. That shit can rust pipes!

          • j-b0t

            I used to have incredibly unhealthy hair (super oily yet thin and whispy) with a scalp that went from one extreme to the other. I stopped washing it with shampoo, and it looks and feels better than it has since I can remember.

          • randy

            Yes! I’m trying to get my daughter to do it, but being a teen and being at school can make it virtually impossible to brek the addiction. Gotta take her on an extended camping trip…

          • j-b0t

            The trick is, you gotta stick it out. The first couple of weeks while it was rebalancing the oils on my scalp it looked and felt like shit, but after the third week or so, it was totally normal, looked great, felt great. Wasn’t gross. My problem had always been I was never patient enough for the natural hair process to get back on its feet.

          • Ungaba

            Do you EVER clean it? I don’t think that’s gross, per se, but I’m guessing there are times where it may be necessary. So if/when you do, what do you use?

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            #spunk

          • j-b0t

            I take showers almost daily and just rinse it thoroughly with water most of the time. If it ever gets particularly “icky” (like after being around a campfire all night) I’ll use a bit of non-lathering shampoo, but what I’ve been using irritates my skin, so I’m currently experimenting with alternatives. My friend says she gets good results just using baking soda. I’ve been trying a lemon juice & baking soda mix which has been adequate thus far, though not great. I’m bummed about my non-lathering shampoo, because it was great aside from irritating my skin, but that’s kind of a deal breaker.

          • j-b0t

            Right, but what I’m saying is, how easy is it for a dentist to have a patient they KNOW is consistent with paying their bills, and being proactive with care suggestions, to look at an x-ray and saying “hmmmmm…. you know this COULD be a cavity, maybe, you know what it is. Also that tooth has to come out”?

            I have no clue. I’m completely at this person’s mercy and judgment, and am operating on 100% trust. With a person who PROFITS off of me having issues that they fix.

          • Rad88

            Accutane was discontinued in the US haha. Regardless it’s family class (isoretinoin) is ridiculous, we learn more about the negative things it causes ( a lot) than the few things it helps (severe other medicine “resistant” acne)

          • Ungaba

            When was it discontinued? Like, yesterday?

          • I’m guessing “accutane” is the brand name or something and isoretinoin is the real thing?

          • Ungaba

            Indeed.

          • Rad88

            yes. Accutane was the brand name. According to the app we use it was discontinued in US market, but no date given. Please consider Claravis, Amnesteem or absorica as alternatives (all also isoretinoin)

          • Ungaba

            Daughter had absorica and isotrentinoin versions. Was cheap, even.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            #forbiddendaughterjoke

          • Ungaba

            Been awhile, at least…

          • randy

            Totally agree. I was talking to a chiropractor, and she said people in general should be going in every two weeks to get their backs checked out. Really? What about never? I’m a photographer, and people should be doing a portrait sess. every month, because people grow!

            Glad you got it sorted out tho.

          • Aren’t chiropractors bullshit?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            yes

          • randy

            But a portrait session every month, that would be important for a lot of things, like monitoring the appperance of skin, measuring height, weight, etc. A subscription model pricing coming soon to a town near you!

          • Rad88

            and for only an addition 12.99 per month we will send that portrait to the doctor so they can look for monthly inconsistencies so that you know you are 100% cared for!

          • randy

            $12.99 electronic dispersment fee! What takes a low paid intern 4 seconds to click ‘send’ and the doctor never actually looks at

          • j-b0t

            Right, but it’s even worse than that, because of the implied threat to your health that coincides with not heeding their advice. I could choose to not get a portrait and not feel like I was engaging in some sort of risk-taking behavior. But if my dentist routinely says “micro-cavities, best to take care of them now before they get worse!” And I have literally no clue if it’s bullshit or not, how am I supposed to feel like I have any agency in that decision process?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Its bullshit. I didn’t go to the dentist for 8 years. Not a single problem. Then I went, and he was like, yeah there’s a spot here I think we should take out and fill. I’ve had that same spot filled twice since. Cause dentistry is voodoo. I stay away if I can.

          • j-b0t

            Every single one of those “microcavities” that they found on me and “took care of” either a. had to be “taken care of” multiple times, or b. turned into “real” cavities, which then had to be taken care of the real cavity way. Which again, begs the question: what would ya say, ya DO here?

            I’m not saying that all dentists do this, or that all of their services are bullshit, I’m just saying, it’s a very lopsided power dynamic. Having a person who profits from you needing their services being the one to determine whether or not you need their services (and how much) is a bit silly.

          • randy

            I hear you loud and clear. It’s (sort of) like going to a mechanic and having one thing fixed and something else magically breaks right after. If there are so many repetitive problems, a pro will help sort that out instead of coming up with bandaid solutions like filling cavities. What about sort out WHY they are occurring so often?

          • SouthSideGeno

            THI IS WHY WE NEED A ‘ONE PAYER’ HEALTCARE SYSTEM …like errey other civilized country on the FRIGGEN globe!

          • randy

            Doesn’t include anything to do with teeth 🙁 which is weird because that can lead to serious health problems, and can be cost prohibitive. Like a $8000 dental bill?!

          • j-b0t
          • SouthSideGeno

            kommie

          • j-b0t

            (I totally agree by the way)

          • SouthSideGeno

            *wink

        • Finn Bonzalez

          I find it very uncomfortable when my mouth dries during the probing. Otherwise it’s pretty meh.

          • SouthSideGeno

            …at least it’s yer mouth getting the probing

          • Finn Bonzalez

            And I doan mind if it continues!

          • randy

            I go in for a weekly prostate exam. My doctor gives me some special medicine that makes me not remember being there. But my “area” always hurts after, so I gotta go back every week.

          • randy

            When your mouth is dry, and the probing continues, just get them to spray something in there to moisten your mouth.

          • Finn Bonzalez

            Yes. That truly brings the relief when they shoot that stuff into my mouth… but I soon find myself asking for more but I can’t express it because of all those instruments in my mouth.

          • Midnight Rider

            #dentalporn
            #actualporn

          • Finn Bonzalez

            I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding. #languagebarrier

          • randy

            Just take some paper and gleefully write “spray more stuff in my mouth” and hold it up every time you need your fill.

        • Penguin in Houston

          Nah, there are worse things like chemo and surgery. Dentist stuff is a cake walk.

  • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

    He’s a poorly written article from more than a year ago about DeSmith playing disc golf, enjoy!
    http://citizensvoice.com/sports/penguins-weekly-casey-desmith-finds-new-hobby-in-growing-sport-of-disc-golf-1.2107549

    • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

      It’s got some decent #HP…
      “As he releases the shot, I know I’m beat”
      “Even if I have a bad round, I’m always happy I came.”

      • randy

        Coz sex is like pizza, even when it’s bad, it’s good.

        On a related note: my gf always drives like a legally blind grandma, but last night when the pizza place was closing, she drove like god damn Ricky Bobby. Never seen that kind of motivation and perseverance before!

  • Ungaba
    • SouthSideGeno

      Great news, thanks…

  • Ungaba
    • SouthSideGeno

      YEAH JEEBUS…has to be ready for his burfday on da 25th, right?

  • Rad88

    Yo serious questions (and preferably serious replies too), if we were to do an interview with Bob Grove what are some questions yinz would want us to ask him?

    • Ungaba

      How do you work with… oh dammit, you said serious. Um…

      What is your earliest hockey memory?

    • PensPointsYourMom

      How many tendies is too many tendies.
      Can Mark Madden order so many tendies that even he can’t eat them.
      Where does he get is stats
      Is the NHL waging war on Pittsburgh with scheduling
      Boxers, briefs or boxer briefs
      How many licks does it take to get to the center of tootsie pop
      FMK: Micheal Landon, David Hasselhof, Tom Skerrit

      • This is right along the reasoning I’m thinking. Non hockey related stuff. Stuff no one ever asks him that he would have fun answering, that’s still immature but respectful enough to not waste his time. (well, some of the questions you proposed at least)

        • PensPointsYourMom

          The Seattle expansion draft would raise some interesting questions too.
          Favorite restaurants/beers/bars/shops in the burgh.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Has TK ever asked to crash at your house?
            What does Gary Bettman smell like.

          • Jovi

            Which play has a reputation of never paying back money?
            Best prank?

        • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

          Favorite Sesame Street character?

      • Jovi

        “How many licks does it take to get to the center of tootsie pop”
        – Yeees

        • Midnight Rider

          You know he’d be like: “In 1931, it took an average of 14.7 licks, until 1972 when Tootsie Roll Industries changed the candy formula, and now it’s 17.4 licks. It only ever took the owl 3 licks. And I like the red ones the best.”

          • lol was just trying to make this same joke but my dad called me and i got distracted

          • SouthSideGeno

            Red #1 and chocolate 2nd…One Lick ; )

    • Jovi

      – what’s the most random/strangest hockey fact you know? (like number of times (person) pees before game)
      – have you ever used a hockey stat as a pick-up line and what was it?

      • Finn Bonzalez

        … and how did you come to know this?

    • Finn Bonzalez

      Is JCVD really Iceburgh?

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Are you Jason Irving?

        • Finn Bonzalez

          Bonzalez. Finn M. Bonzalez

          • Jovi

            M?

          • Finn Bonzalez

            Maverick.

          • Midnight Rider

            Murican

          • Jovi

            Murray’s-kin

          • SouthSideGeno

            Finn Z. Bonzalez…aka Finzy

    • j-b0t

      What’s your favorite part about being a pirate?

      • j-b0t

        Would you rather: have the Penguins threepeat, but then Philly wins it the next year, OR, the Penguins don’t threepeat, and Philly never wins it ever again.

        • j-b0t

          Are you more of a Beatles man, or an Elvis man?

          • j-b0t

            Who/what is your favorite fictional character?

          • Finn Bonzalez

            Are you more of an Elvis man or a Jewish Elvis man?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Are you more of an Elvish man, or a Dwarfish man?

          • Finn Bonzalez

            Join us at the next meatup to find out.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          that’s so easy.

          • Ungaba

            3-peat FTW. I love watching Philly suck but seeing a threepeat in my lifetime would be TITS.

    • Finn Bonzalez

      What is your favourite/most impressive/sexiest statistic you have unearthed?

    • SouthSideGeno

      Are you a Crosby Kid or moar of a Malkin Man?

    • Penguin in Houston

      What is the most important position?

      • “Grover, what is the meaning of life?”

        • Jovi

          Have you ever challenged Siri to a hockey contest?

      • Finn Bonzalez

        #hp

      • SouthSideGeno

        Missionary or reverse cowgirl?

        • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

          Missionary, because at least they do some humanitarian work. Reverse cowgirls represent some of the worst parts of radical leftist ideology, just running around causing stampedes and cutting fences to let cattle run out onto highways to disrupt the capital gains of Big Meat™.
          Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of problems with missionaries, but it’s hard to argue with their motivation 😀

          • SouthSideGeno

            Holy explanation Batsleve…

            REVERSE COWGURL ALLDAY ERREY DAY…YEEEEE HAAAAA RIDE ‘EM COWGURL

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            (if i was answering the actual question, yes you are correct :D)

  • PensPointsYourMom

    @ungabaintrepid:disqus and everyone else, the numbers behind Letang:
    http://www.hockeybuzz.com/blog/Ryan-Wilson/Whats-the-deal-with-Kris-Letang/177/89381

    • SouthSideGeno

      Good…I doan care wut anybody sez about LeBang…I like him, he’s good and that’s that.

      The Pens play him too many minutes…always have…they’re gonna break him again if they keep this up.

    • Ungaba

      “His numbers are trending badly and he needs to play fewer minutes.”

      Entirely reasonable and basically what us ‘Letang haters’ have been saying on here for a while now. I carried the torch for Letang for a LONG while, and am often pilloried for it in my circle of friends. I KNOW he’s a good player. I also know that he’s been camel dick for most of this season. The ‘why’ of it doesn’t affect the truth of it. He’s generating points (4th on the team) but he’s not playing quality defense. That much is irrefutable.

      It remains to be seen if Sully takes all of that into account and plays him less. Er, not really Sully, I guess, but J.Martin, right?

      Asides on that point: I know J.Martin ‘runs the defense’, but how much input, in game, do you think Sully has on that? I bet it’s fairly low since I think he is mostly calling out forward units. Thoughts?

      • The66thDopefish

        It’s bad news to hear Letang is regressing again because he’s playing too many minutes. He and Schultz both seem to have this problem!

      • randy

        I think most of us agree.

        What I don’t agree with is that he got Ung out to dry after just a handful of games when neck surgery (likely) takes a lot longer to get back to proper form. That and the whole team was playing like dog shit frozen to the ice.

        Criticism is fine, but when guys say he should be traded, has a cap hit of $8M (rounded up from 7.25?), or he should retire, that’s just wrong. At the very least give him a full season and see where he’s at.

        There’s only one guy on the ice that wants to win more than Letang and his injuries are a biproduct of that desire to win.

        Thanks Letang.

  • PensPointsYourMom
  • Finn Bonzalez
  • The66thDopefish

    I was looking for Bob Grove info and I found this article: https://www.nhl.com/penguins/news/crash-the-net-penguins-q-a-with-bob-grove/c-494682

    Besides being full of questions to avoid asking him (even though it’s been eleven years), the top one is most interesting. Grove thought the Pens should’ve drafted Kessel instead of Erik Johnson!

    • SouthSideGeno

      Good one Dopey…Bobby Clarke…my MOST HATED PHILTHer Of All Time

    • Penguin in Houston

      On point! Erik whoooo? Is he from Whoville?

    • Rad88

      “One thing to remember is Kessel is a center” whatttttt he played center in college?

  • The66thDopefish

    I forgot to mention that the Rangers have a player named Boo.

    • Ungaba

      Buchnevich? Is that his nickname?

      • The66thDopefish
        • Ungaba

          Ho Lee Fuhk.

          His parents should be shot.

          • Midnight Rider
          • Ungaba

            Which part? My response or his name being ‘Boo’?

          • Midnight Rider

            yes.

          • Ungaba

            Reasonable.

            I use the Fuhk because I periodically try to cut down on my swearing.

            It never fucking lasts long though.

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            The smartest fucking people swear more, so…

          • Midnight Rider

            Best fucking study ever.

        • Andy Pepperqvist

          Big guy, from NY, dumb face, looks like a rapist…. This guy was BORN to be a Ranger.

          • Midnight Rider

            Looks like a rapist?

            YOU PEOPLE

          • Ungaba

            YOU PEOPLE?!?!??!?!

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            nah, this guy looks like a rapist…
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5c08ec15fc0c1aab79b338a0295546f3e4d6e7fe16072719f904fa46d217d710.jpg
            Seriously, it’s like he carefully cultivated the image.

          • Ungaba

            He really does. He looks like the kind of guy that no female would willingly allow within 20 feet of her unless he had gobs and gobs of money.

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            Yeah, it’s like his repulsiveness was his way of sorting out which women would be easier to manipulate or something. Also, partly he’s just fugly, so can’t blame him for that, but come on, at least make an effort!

          • Ungaba

            “If you’re that ugly, maybe try to be healthy?” – something along those lines?

            Dammit, I need to eat less donuts.

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            I hear ya, oil and vinegar salads forever from now on… 😀

          • PensPointsYourMom

            he doesn’t look Mexican at all.

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            ABORT!!! 😀

    • Sleve_The_HawtDoge
  • Ungaba

    https://twitter.com/NHLonNBCSports/status/938075875903492098

    Ladies and gentlemen, the Internet has spoken.

    • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

      Seattle Underscores IS pretty good…

      • Ungaba

        No, Sleve. No it is not.

        We need to get ahead of this right away or we’re going to have another ‘Thrashers’ on our hands.

        • Andy Pepperqvist

          Let them burn

        • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

          sorry, guess I can’t make GAWDAM JOKES NO MORE!
          JEBUS!!!
          😀

          • Ungaba

            My seriousness UNDERSCORED the jokiness of your joke, silly man! I’m trying to help, dammit!!! 🙂

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge
          • Ungaba

            His face right before he punches it just kills me.

            Also, who in the hell decided ‘we should have Conan punch a camel – it’ll be great!’ because whoever it was, I’d like to shake his hand.

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            Total adlib on Arnold’s part, they just happened to be rolling from both angles 😀

          • Ungaba

            Are you being serious? Do you know this thing for true?

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            No, not serious… man this internet comment tone thing is hard to master XD

          • Ungaba

            I was just excited because if it had been YOUR idea I would have already have shaken your hand and wouldn’t have to make a special trip to (likely) Hollywood to do it.

            But now that I think on it more, you were probably just a bit too young for that to have been the case…

            Oh well. We may never know the Truth, but I’m sure it’s Out There.

          • Finn Bonzalez
          • SouthSideGeno

            I’m calling the ASPCA…Hollyweird branch

      • Finn Bonzalez

        Seamen?

        • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

          Ding ding ding, contest over. Alliteration wins erreytime!

          • Ungaba

            Shhhhheattle’s Shhhhhhlippery Shhhhhheamen.

            Shhhhhhhhhufferin’ shhhhhhhuctoash!

    • Andy Pepperqvist

      Seattle Grunge (wnba team?)
      Seattle Space Needle Dicks
      Seattle Seasonal Depression
      Seattle Peacocks
      Seattle Super-chronics

      • Andy Pepperqvist

        I vote Peacocks, but weed its legal there.

        • Finn Bonzalez

          Seattle Flannel Shirts

          • Andy Pepperqvist

            Seattle Subarus

          • Midnight Rider

            hahaha, you have presented some solid choices.

          • Andy Pepperqvist

            I want to open a marijuana dispensary called “Seattle Superchronics”. Please tell me someone has done this.

          • PensPointsYourMom
          • Andy Pepperqvist

            Awesome.

          • Midnight Rider

            10/10, would patronize

          • Ungaba

            Would patronize AND provide a helpful Yelp review!

    • Andy Pepperqvist

      They should play 50 miles south in Olympia and call themselves the “Washington’s Capital”

      • SouthSideGeno

        PERFECT!

    • NOT ENOUGH RANDOM GRADIENTS ON HERE!!!

      • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

        THEY SHOULD HAVE PUT A GRADIENT ON THE STROKE AROUND THE LETTERS!

    • Sleve_The_HawtDoge
      • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

        The Seattle Clippys (brought to you by Microsoft)
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dd0af1e5687d0932a9f1bd44bed4e9ab9776d75eeb2f5362c2b6f13dcf10eb20.jpg
        Just drag this thing out the closet up in Redmond and you’re good to go!

        • PensPointsYourMom

          So it just runs out on the ice during play and asks if you need to be more excited hockey?

          • Andy Pepperqvist

            “Do you have any questions about the rules?”

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            This is too crazy not to share… you’ve been warned. NSFH (not safe for humans)
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e47efa197b4e45b357717f170dd18e273e3c24083572f583b18b99f29a6ad0b8.jpg

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Doan get.

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            Clippy is getting double teamed and then is preggers… what’s not to get?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            why is the paper all shredded in the first one, and how can “he” get “pregnant” from being “finger blasted?”

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            Just play along would ya? Sheesh… someone needs to take an improv class, amirite? 😀

          • Midnight Rider

            When the fingers apparently are covered in … I think we’re giving this more attention than it merits.

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            100% this… hahahahahaha

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Its not MY fault the image doesn’t make sense.

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            It’s an emotive piece, not a diagram of how to impregnate Microsoft Office Assistant 😀

          • PensPointsYourMom

            well duh, I already know how to do that.

          • Finn Bonzalez

            Wash your fingers before blasting, people!

          • Midnight Rider

            Also: wash your fingers before blasting people.

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            This is good advice… doan wanna be causing people to go to Universal Technical Institute.

          • SouthSideGeno

            The Rape of Clippy…bout time

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            WHOA, DOUBLE MEGA TRIPLE ABORT

          • SouthSideGeno

            I’d never condone that…unless it was Clippy.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Holy Frking Shit. Matt Moulson cleared waivers. I figured someone would bite just based on name recognition alone.

    • Ungaba

      He really dropped off the face of the earth after he left NYI. He had a couple very good seasons, regardless of his eyebrows, and seemed like a quality bottom-6 winger. Alas, Buffalo has ruined better a man than him, so this should come as no surprise.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        I posted about it last night. 3 30 goal seasons in a row with the Isles. 0G/0A in 14 GP for the Sabres this year. He’s 34 and makes 5 mil per, but still – his lack of offensive production has to be at least partly the Sabres, he’s not so old he can’t score a little. I’m just shocked a team like ARZ didn’t take him, they need all the help they can get.

        • Midnight Rider

          If ya can’t score for BUF, ya probably will have similar results in ARZ.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Yeah, I know, but what does ARZ have to lose?

          • Ungaba

            MM has a 12-team no trade clause… LMAO.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            oops

          • Midnight Rider

            Too bad he didn’t get a NMC too. Welcome to Rochester, kid.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Claiming him off waivers overrides his NTC I think – does it? Anyway ARZ’s top 2 LW are Jordan Martinook and Anthony Duclair, so its gonna be hard to convince me that Moulson without any points is a downgrade.

          • Ungaba

            I dunno about the NTC. I would think it would, actually, since it’s not a trade by any definition.

            Also, he’d be in Phoenix instead of Buffalo for the winter. That’s just a win under any circumstances.

        • Ungaba

          Very true, but I guess that 5M pricetag is just too hefty for some budgets.

          And your point about AZ is a perfect illustration of how un-serious those shit-fucks are about icing a decent team. $17M UNDER the cap and not at all interested in spending money. Sad.

    • Andy Pepperqvist

      Most teams prefer Labatt?

      • Ungaba

        booooooooooooooooooooooooooo

        • Andy Pepperqvist

          You’re right, both suck

          • SouthSideGeno

            Aaaaaaaw…I used to like Moleskin Beer…haven’t had one for at least 25 years though.

      • Penguin in Houston

        Hahaha!

  • Finn Bonzalez
  • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

    I can dust it off whenever you want ;D I have a USB mic that I’d use if I was just doing regular talking stuff

  • Ungaba
    • SouthSideGeno

      Like I said last night, The Steelers should also …pay his fine, take him out for an expensive dinner…get him an 8 ball…take him dancing…get him laid…then buy him a new Corvette!

      • Ungaba

        Yes, aside from the 8-ball.

        • SouthSideGeno

          Can I have that then? …I mean, we doan wanna let it go to waste, right?

          • Ungaba

            Reasonable. I will oversee this transaction. In person. ALL NIGHT LONG.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Dealziez! Hope I doan stroke : O
            It’s been a while, eh.

      • Penguin in Houston

        Fuq Barfdik. He had it coming for years.

        • SouthSideGeno

          I never like to see athletes get hurt…but in his case I gladly make an exception.
          He’s a dirty piece of filth, who’s hurt many of our players badly, in some cases.
          Bell last year for example…in the playoff game.

          • Ungaba

            Brown in that playoff game. Bell was the year before in the regular season, I believe.

            It’s hard to keep up on all the injuries he’s caused…

          • Penguin in Houston

            He faked that injury last night too. Unstrapped himself and jumped up once they got him into the locker room.

    • Andy Pepperqvist

      Appeal that shit. The hit was legal.

  • Finn Bonzalez

    Lol… I guess I’m not watching the Olympics if KHL is not participating

    • Ungaba

      Yeah, how’s about that? I’m sure Putin is PISSED. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

      • Finn Bonzalez

        Sad time for hawkey if KHL ban their players from joining their respective national teams.

        • SouthSideGeno

          Just leave politics outta sports fer chrissake…like we do on here : /

          • Finn Bonzalez

            Plz NHL.

    • SouthSideGeno

      Finnzy

    • SouthSideGeno

      Wut other Olimpdik Winter sports, in particular, do FINs excel in?
      Who are some of yer national hero’s?

      • Ungaba

        I think they’re good at skiing and shooting. And also skiing in general.

        • SouthSideGeno

          Yuh, I just was interested in who he might suggest were FIN Heros of Olympic Glory

        • Finn Bonzalez

          Skiing went downhill after 2001 when our top skiers were caught using doping.

          • Ungaba

            It, uh…. went downhill, did you say?

          • SouthSideGeno

            UNGbelievable!

          • Finn Bonzalez
          • SouthSideGeno

            Do we think any specific NHL players are doping…aside from the true Dopes on the Phlyurs of course.
            Does the Chell test for that?

          • Andy Pepperqvist

            Sestito

          • SouthSideGeno

            I doan mean, do they test to see if yer a dope : D

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            Does the NHL even have a testing protocol? I’m betting its like, all of them. In some way or another. Because-> professional sport :/

      • Finn Bonzalez

        Cross-country skiing, skijump. Those used to be the big ones. Nawt so much anymore.

        Legendary Finnish skijumper Matti Nykänen has done all sorts of weird stuff after retiring from the sport. He is basically considered as a joke here. He used to be the absolute best.
        https://youtu.be/ylpDOCjD-PA

        • SouthSideGeno

          Hahaha…Finland’s Bruce Kaitlin Jenner?

        • Ungaba

          I doan unnerstand what he’s saying, but I know it’s bad.

          • Finn Bonzalez

            I wish I didn’t understand.

  • Rad88

    Almost 30 games into the season and it is safe to say that only one of the defensive pairings is set in Jacques mind https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a5771537432d514b17fdddbd2c8b5e9f02febf43e122eb198e51c9800a6d375d.png

    • SouthSideGeno

      “The Matrix” …swallow the D….pill

    • Rad88
      • SouthSideGeno

        ARRRRGGGH…you’d havt’a be a Dr or something to unnerstan these…wait

        • Rad88

          the thicker the lines connected the players the more time they spend on the ice together. In terms of the powerplay, considering their percentage is really good it is good to see them together so much. If their percentage was 10% or something, then this time together would be of concern. There you go Unkle

          • SouthSideGeno

            ; )

            Thanks for RAD Splainin

          • Ungaba

            Mmmmm…. thicker.

          • SouthSideGeno

            “Choadlines”

          • PensPointsYourMom

            also the size of the hexagon indicates the player’s total time in that situation, so of those players, Rust Maatta and Sheary have the least amount of PP time, Sid and Phil have the most.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Soooo…a thick chaodline with a couple of youge hex’s danglin = Good
            got it!

      • Rad88

        Last one for now, interesting to see how Sully has given guys more (Rust, Kessel) or less (Sheary, Hagelin) TOI based on how they are playing
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6c4591db9a66d60fb25898b7ffa5389a45b00c3ec913ba9fe25b2de4179c915b.png

        • PensPointsYourMom

          Oh hai Greg.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            also, that’s very sperm-y

          • Rad88

            Sid’s sperm = consistent swimmer, Kessel’s = decent start with a huge push late, McKegg’s= premature ejaculation

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Look, I don’t want to sound like a dick, but if I were gonna pregnant, please gawd don’t let it be McKegg’s.

          • Rad88

            Greg McKegg fertilized the egg

          • PensPointsYourMom

            LOL!

          • SouthSideGeno

            Greg McKegg…dribbled dahn his leg?

    • Finn Bonzalez

      Basically youre saying Määttä wins the Vezina trophy?

      • Andy Pepperqvist

        He’s the village door knob

  • SouthSideGeno

    Just got this on ma phony…

    “Tomlin: Update on Shazier could come as soon as Tuesday evening.”
    or…
    “Tomlin: Update on Shazier, ‘could come as soon as Tuesday evening’.”

    Too soon?

  • Ungaba
    • SouthSideGeno

      Hahaha…SuckMeter

      • Andy Pepperqvist

        Off the charts

  • I feel like it’s been 2 o’clock for three hours

  • OHH MY GODDD ITS STILL 2:00

  • FINALLY… 3:01

    • SouthSideGeno

      Wut time do you end yer wurk daze?

      • More or less whenever. I’m WFH today and it’s dragginggggg

        • SouthSideGeno

          Sameziez…butt taday is my 1st day back to the office since November 13th…AND IT SUUUUUUUCKS

          • Rad88

            been here since 5:45, still have 3 hours to go 😀

          • SouthSideGeno

            YIKES! Doan feel so bad now…I’m gettin out at 3:30 or so today.
            How long is yer commute?

          • Rad88

            22 minutes on the way in. A little under 40 on the way home

          • Andy Pepperqvist

            Not bad at all.

          • Rad88

            yeah I have no complaints. Right by a train station so my fiancee gets to her hospital in Brooklyn also in 45 minutes, I’ll take it

          • Andy Pepperqvist

            I have a 27 mile drive with my daughter each way. All country roads. I missed clipping a suicidal deer this morning and destroying my car by about 5 feet.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            The deer wasn’t suicidal, it was trying to kill you. #perspective

          • SouthSideGeno

            Murdeer

          • Jovi
          • SouthSideGeno
          • Andy Pepperqvist
          • SouthSideGeno

            Izat really you?

          • Andy Pepperqvist

            Was. This stupid photo is the only one I have with last year’s Christmas present of death.

          • Jovi

            were you trying to murder the neighbors cat?
            Assumption: either black cat or black bag

          • Andy Pepperqvist

            Actually, I’m leaning how to shoot from this really incredible Filipino archer with a Southern accent (he was adopted). Great instructor. Practicing safe shooting, only pumping shots into the bag. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b9333f5382bcc2550a0f58fc0d3be19cf5c05af711d3b0cd6b79618fc7430976.jpg Also, what neighbors? This town is so country, you can shoot weapons in your front yard.

          • SouthSideGeno

            I used to be a purdy good archer …my college coach tried to entice me to try out for the team. Darts and rifle too…my hanny to eye (and crotch) coordination has always been FORCE guided.

          • Andy Pepperqvist

            Sounds rapey.

          • SouthSideGeno

            With a razor tip?

          • Andy Pepperqvist

            I prefer “broadhead”

          • SouthSideGeno

            Broad head in Nam….she love you long time

            HEY!

          • Andy Pepperqvist

            No promises on the “long time”

          • Jovi

            #HP?

          • Jovi
          • Andy Pepperqvist

            Good eye, sniper. We never did find that cat. (jk, she’s fine)

          • Jovi

            I am a ninja.

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            He’s a sentient vapor now…

          • Jovi

            scary. glad no mishap at hand.

          • Andy Pepperqvist

            It definitely was. Thank you.

          • Andy Pepperqvist

            probably the other 11 hours of the day, considering he is in NY.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Yep. Its the same time it was yesterday.

    • Finn Bonzalez

      Did you change the clock battery?

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Calling it: Sheahan gets one tonight

  • Door_Matt

    Holy crap babies take forever. 24 hours of labor for this second one.

    • SouthSideGeno

      Wow…good great luck…hang in there MUM

    • Jovi

      crap, she’s still in labor!!!!
      ugh, you better get her something shiny for this one.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Like pots and pans?

        • Andy Pepperqvist

          A stove?

          • Jovi

            (long sigh)

          • Andy Pepperqvist

            I wouldn’t mind a new one, tbh. I cook way more than my wife.

          • Jovi

            meth and food are two different things

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            I know this SOUNDS like common sense, but it’s a very important distinction! 😀
            Also my personal vote for COTD 😀

          • Andy Pepperqvist

            I second that

        • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

          RUN PPYM, RUN!!!

          • Jovi

            Finally, we have a smart one. This man values his life.

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            oh hell yes, I even LIKE like her! 😀

        • Jovi

          PPYM is trying to get you ‘cut’, don’t listen to him.

    • Andy Pepperqvist

      Only took about 2 minutes to make mine, and it wasn’t a labor at all.

      • Andy Pepperqvist

        In all seriousness, best wishes and congratulations.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Squeeze her belly, its just like toothpaste.

      • Door_Matt

        That’s for after. They literally started pushing on her stomach after she delivered to get the afterbirth and placenta out.

    • randy

      The little shit is already rebelling. Congrats in advance!

    • The66thDopefish

      Congrats in advance!

  • Jovi

    Did anyone mention the Return of Carey Price tonight (supposedly)?

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Frk that guy, lord knows his wife isn’t gonna do it.

      • Jovi

        What if the Canadians make a commmLOL. Forget it.

  • SouthSideGeno

    HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS begins tonight…with a BIG W

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f9d3af64773d6de35201ed9ea1c4232d831d441494b94ecbc6e4e444d801c882.gif

    Anybody know when the 2017 PENS Christmas Video drops?

  • gutsgonebad

    I feel like the Pens haven’t played in a week, NHL scheduling SUX. On a brighter note, I started watching Dunkirk and it’s pretty fantastic on a small screen too.

    • SouthSideGeno

      Vas great movie…Da

      • gutsgonebad

        Da

  • Jovi

    Just realized Die Hard is the original “Home Alone”.

    • SouthSideGeno

      hahaha…YippieKiayMacaulayfooker

      • j-b0t

        Die Hard movie is best Christmas movie.

    • gutsgonebad

      That’s hilarious. Great analogy

      • Jovi

        Just thought of it at the end, when Al and Jon meet and the music starts. Reminded me of Kevin’s mom coming home. There’s a literature paper here, but I am too lazy to write it.

  • The ‘Ole 29’er

    Howdy sports fans. The Hall Of Famer and I can’t wait to call the game tonight. See you at Buford’s after, ladies.

    • SouthSideGeno

      FIGHT ME!

  • SouthSideGeno

    NO BABY STUFF TONIGHT….out with the flu…wadda friggen baby

    • Jovi

      Booooooo. Coward.

  • SouthSideGeno
    • Jovi

      we get 2 for today? was there a special?

      • SouthSideGeno

        I just REALLY think Marc Staal needs to get his clock cleaned tonight …for past transgressions…I kind-a hope he tries sumpin stoopit when REAVER is on the ice.

        • Andy Pepperqvist

          Call up JuJu.

          • Jovi

            not a bad plan. we can keep reaves well rested for the next game

  • Finn Bonzalez
  • SouthSideGeno

    LET’S

  • Finn Bonzalez
  • Jovi

    OMG stop talking and START THE GAME

  • randy

    I missed the bob grove question meating, so I hope you guys will consider the following 6 questions:

    1. Girwho?
    2. Girwhat?
    3. Girwhen?
    4. Girwhere?
    5. Girwhy?
    and
    6. Girhow?

    • Ungaba

      All entirely reasonable.

      • randy

        But will he know the answer to any of them?

  • Ungaba

    https://twitter.com/sethrorabaugh/status/938185377138999296

    Suddenly he has ‘the flu’. What a pussy.

    • Ungaba

      The Native Flu, more like.

  • Finn Bonzalez
  • gutsgonebad

    Ohh no he didn’t

    • Rad88

      so calm and patient

  • Finn Bonzalez

    WOOOOO JARRY

  • Jovi

    great effort Malk

  • Jovi

    heinz is a “trainer”? not equipment manager

  • SouthSideGeno

    Doan know how many #HP I’ll get tonight…NBCShizNet has their ice mics turned up so high ya can’t hear the announcers…douchers.

  • SouthSideGeno

    JARRY HAS YOUGE GOALIE HEXAGONS

    • j-b0t

      I don’t understand this, but I’m upvoting it anyway.

      • SouthSideGeno

        From earlier today…RADs charts

  • Rad88

    “letang said he could feel it come, and it started coming” #hp Sam Rosen

    • j-b0t

      Now THAT, is grade A, top choice HP.

      • randy

        Real primo shit.

  • Jovi

    Jarr-E came to goalie tonight

  • Rad88

    So they just showed Mike Sullivans coaching record with the Penguins (98-47-19), that 98 is 4th most in team history, which is crazy since last game was his 164th regular season game = 2 full regular seasons.

    • SouthSideGeno

      SULLY = ENORMOUS HEXAGONS

  • Jovi

    Ugh, its been too long since I’ve seen a Malkamania take over game

    • SouthSideGeno

      U & me both…Dad

  • SouthSideGeno

    Reaver…DOINK

    • Jovi

      If he scored. OMG that would be amazeballs.
      He tried to do ‘the Kessel’

      • randy

        In my mind, that post counts as a goal

  • SouthSideGeno

    Phil taught Reaves the wrister with the leg kick

  • SouthSideGeno

    Jarry is lightening quick from post to post…while staying in perfect position…it’s quite amazing.

  • SouthSideGeno

    OMG the NBCShizNet audio is HORRIBLE

  • SouthSideGeno

    Sharrie Baaaaaaybeeee

  • Finn Bonzalez
  • SouthSideGeno

    BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  • gutsgonebad

    sigh

  • Ungaba

    Boo. Fucking boo.

    • Rad88

      called that shit

      • SouthSideGeno

        Cristoval shit

  • PensPointsYourMom

    So Lunny is sick…of getting his dick punched in?

    • Rad88

      I’m thinking it’s similar to Rinne not playing in Pittsburgh, but sure, we can go with the flu

      • SouthSideGeno

        NO…he literally has the flu.

  • Jovi

    Question for Grove: What is the rate of 1st-NHL goals scored against the Pens?
    You can pretty much guess that if it’s someone’s first game, they’re scoring.

    • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

      Paging Dr. Grover…

  • Rad88

    Elliott Friedman announced on Hockey Central that he thinks the Penguins might be interested in……..

    …Letestu

    • SouthSideGeno

      ….for Science?

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Whoa whoa…you can’t just give Bren uninvited boners like that. Now we have to hear about his LeTes”tube” for the next 3 days.

      • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

        Pretty sure this is harassment of some kind. Unwanted attempt at arousal…

        • SouthSideGeno

          HI sleve-er-ino!

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            Suh-brah

  • Jovi

    crap! Shultz

  • Rad88

    Did you know that Mike Johnston was fired following a game that took the Penguins record to 15-10-3? Their record at this moment… 15-10-3. Numbers man, numbers

    • SouthSideGeno

      ……for Science?

    • Jovi

      crap! and it’s December

      • Jovi

        Thankfully Sidney is no longer sucking,
        However Kris is still frustrating people, so can Sully be 1/2 fired?

    • j-b0t

      This is why you look at the WAY a team is playing by actually watching the games vs. just records and stats. That Johnston team was deader than dead. Totally flat. Never felt like they were going to win even when leading in the third.

      Kind of similar to, oh, say, Ottawa, last year. Who somehow got a record good enough to make the playoffs despite having a terrible goal differential, terrible metrics, and looking generally not good, found themselves on the right side of fortune in 7 overtime games en route to an ECF bid despite the fact that they played like garbage, and had everyone saying “golly gee these guys are really great! a powerhouse for years to come, surely!”

      No. They didn’t look great. They looked awful and got great results in spite of it.

      Yes, I’m going to continue beating this horse into a fine paste.

      • SouthSideGeno

        #horsepaste

  • PensPointsYourMom

    He was able to get his legs up and out, before Nash could really go down on him – Bob #HP

  • jagrmeister

    Listening to the radio today. Lange’s been much pornier than the ol 29er. He needs to step it way up if he wants to challenge sultry bob…

    • SouthSideGeno

      J-Meister in da hizzy!

      • jagrmeister

        Wife’s out shopping. Figured I’d make the most of the opportunity

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Kessel, nice dangling – Mears #HP

  • SouthSideGeno

    SKOAR MOAR GOLAS PENS

  • Rad88

    Jarry is so calm on the goalline

    • Jovi

      who’s calmer? Jarry, Murray, or the dead girl in PPYM’s trunk?

      • randy

        Holy shit. Abort. Seriously. PPYM’s got a warrant

        • Jovi

          and this affects me how?

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Boy Malkin, could have ripped that, you would have thought the he was going to there. He is coming back from the upper body injury, I dont know if there was any hesitation or not, we did see him rip one late in the third period of the last game, where he really attacked it. Bob #HP

    • SouthSideGeno

      tldr

      • randy

        #toomuchHP

    • yeah this doesnt fit

  • SouthSideGeno

    Who did REAVER just murdeer in the corner?

  • Jovi

    good game so far

  • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

    NOOOOO SHULTZY NOOOOO!

  • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

    YAAAAAAS PHILSY YAAAAAAS!

  • SouthSideGeno

    KESSELMANIA

  • Jovi

    “Kessel just jumps in and rips it” – Peeair
    #HP

    • Andy Pepperqvist

      Would have never caught that. Sniper strikes again.

  • gutsgonebad
  • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

    So, if a player has the puck you can push them to the ice with both hands, and that just cool? Or is this just yet another “when playing against Sid” situation?

  • randy

    Phil the Thrill supersized and got the Refill!

  • jagrmeister

    Fast gives it to Shattenkirk, he just keeps cumming – lange #HP
    Here comes hayes on [to] Rick Nash – lange #HP
    Get that big guy in there and you can beat him – lange #HP
    Maata is playing the right D – ol 29er #HP

    • Jovi

      “Get that big guy in there and you can beat him – lange #HP”
      LOL

  • SouthSideGeno

    Who made tonight POST NIGHT…DAMMIT!

  • “hey, Santa Claus is coming.” – Ford commercial

    -#cheatinghockeyporn

  • New featured comment

  • Andy Pepperqvist

    Hooked the shit out of Malkin.

    • jagrmeister

      Bourque wasn’t happy about that

      • Andy Pepperqvist

        Terrible missed call. Directly resulted in that goal. Dicks.

        • Rad88

          MSG made a point to show the slash that took his stick out of his hands. I was surprised that they showed it

  • SouthSideGeno

    We need some seconday skoaring…who was the last Pens Dman who skoared a gola?

    Olli…I’m looking at you!

    • randy

      Prolly Cole. Damn it’s been a while 😉

    • jagrmeister

      Looked it up. It was Hunwick during the meat up

      • SouthSideGeno

        CHRYST-A-MIGHTIE

        ACTIVATE MY D

  • PensPointsYourMom

    New theory: all of the LeBang Magic is in his hair. He needs the flow to succeed.

  • jagrmeister

    Now they call a hook… Hopefully they’ll cash in. No Shultz will hurt the PP though

  • SouthSideGeno
  • SouthSideGeno

    POST NIGHT!

  • Sleve_The_HawtDoge
    • Jovi

      alicia silverstone?

      • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

        Piper Chapman, aka “Pipes”. I’m trying desperately to make this a thing, don’t ruin it for me! 😀

        • Jovi

          (Sad.)

  • SouthSideGeno
  • PensPointsYourMom

    Faaaq

    • SouthSideGeno

      Jarry sucks

  • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

    Fuggin MATS! Who give their kid a plural first name?

    • The66thDopefish

      Moms and Pops Zuccarello

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Sheary is back to being no bueno.

    • SouthSideGeno

      Sharie sucks

    • Sleve_The_HawtDoge
      • SouthSideGeno

        …aaaaand there it is!

      • Jovi

        HAHAH. did you make this?

      • This is very reminiscent of the old drawing of Dupuis with no hands….

        • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

          Zactly my intention, nothing gets past Blawgczar!

          • You didn’t do that one did you?

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            Not the dupuis one, nope

          • That over is like a legend for some reason. I wonder who did

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            Yeah, elite old tpb status for sure. I don’t know if it came from the blog or not.

          • SouthSideGeno

            YOU MADE IT…didn’t you?

            (if not then I did 😉

          • Jovi

            i think it was someone on puck huffer. at least that is when i first saw it, and then it came to tPB. (if my memory is correct)

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            Judge AND Special Investigator!

          • Jovi

            i remember the person saying the made it on a napkin while bored.

  • Sleve_The_HawtDoge
    • gutsgonebad

      Luv it

      • gutsgonebad

        Lol, Just noticed her names Wang

        • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

          Hahahaha, nice

    • SouthSideGeno

      curl my wang?

      • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

        Do it ur oan self!

        • SouthSideGeno

          MOM…sleves picken on me again

          • randy

            SLEVE GO TO YOUR FUCKIN ROOM

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            YOU MAKE ME SLEEP OUTSIDE NOW

          • SouthSideGeno

            hahaha…frken MOM is mean

          • randy

            It’s just that if mom is pissed, she takes it out on me.

          • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

            You wanna know how he got those scars?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Why so Shearious?

          • randy

            Those are stress scars… scars you get from stress.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Yer sooo… say it twice, say it twice

          • SouthSideGeno

            No dunkin that dougnut…Dicky

    • randy

      The hawkey is that bad?

      • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

        Intermission dad, jeez… 😀

  • SouthSideGeno

    FUK AL YINZ for not liking Shatten Hand

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Im a conscientious objector

    • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

      My wife doan let me touch poopy cause bacteriums

    • randy

      Fuk ur own shatten hand.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Hey, one of yinz looking for a side hustle should make “Make America Snek Again” hats. You’re welcome.

    • SouthSideGeno

      nice

    • randy

      In Canada, we’ve got “make Trudeau a drama teacher again” edit: yeah the leader of our gret netion was once a drama teacher.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        I’m sure you do.

      • Andy Pepperqvist

        Has he stopped crying yet?

    • j-b0t

      I’m not up to date on the memes.

      • randy

        He was just trying to make you filthy rich beyond your wildest dreams, not teach you about memes.

  • j-b0t

    On the subject of the game, do we suck again? Haven’t been able to watch it.

    • randy

      PDO. Apparently Santa is coming and he’s a bit of a pedo.

    • Jovi

      its a good game. chances on both sides

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Get back in the box shitbird!

  • SouthSideGeno

    Horndawg

  • Jovi

    3 in 3 games for horny?

    • PensPointsYourMom

      4 in 4 I think

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Thanks Kevin

    • SouthSideGeno

      …Spacey

  • Sleve_The_HawtDoge

    I’m eating plain baked Tostitos with no salsa or nothing. Just when exactly did my life go so wrong?

    • SouthSideGeno

      I just ate some couch popcorn…tasted like ass

      • Andy Pepperqvist

        I just ate some ass on the couch….tasted like popcorn.

        • SouthSideGeno

          Gawd is a jagoff…why couldn’t she have made genitalia taste like fruit or candy…nope…fish & mouldy cheese

          • PensPointsYourMom

            what kind of genitalia you been tastin’ bro?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Yer mum’s

    • Jovi

      no more MaMa’s spaghetti?

  • PensPointsYourMom

    how many chances have come off a Malkin turnover in this game? 4?

  • SouthSideGeno

    r u frken kidden me?

  • gutsgonebad

    poop

    • Jovi

      gotta get that one back for Jarry

      • gutsgonebad

        The score doesn’t reflect his play at all

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Thanks Letang.

  • Ungaba

    Thanks Letang

    • The66thDopefish

      Boo-chnevich

      • SouthSideGeno

        I have him on my F League team…I hate F league

        • Jovi

          soooooo then this is YOUR fault.

  • SouthSideGeno

    Olli is gonna get one here…comin up!

    Where’s Finzy?

  • Andy Pepperqvist

    Officiating is absolute dog shit tonight.

    • SouthSideGeno

      Woof!

  • SouthSideGeno

    ANOTHER POST

    • Andy Pepperqvist

      Getting kinda ridiculous. Pens deserve this one.

  • SouthSideGeno

    It’s coming…

  • jagrmeister

    :'(

    • Jovi

      indeed

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Pens are gonna win a lot of game if they play like that. Result sucks. Letang with GWG goal tho.

  • j-b0t

    well dam

  • Midnight Rider

    Damn, good game, played well enough to win. Thanks, Letang.

    Brendino, #HP:

    “They are comin’ in waves.” – Pierre

    “Letang back in deep for Crosby.” – Gord Miller

    “Oh, he just can’t get any good wood.” – Pierre

    “Good luck, it is going to be messy.” – Pierre

    • PensPointsYourMom

      If Schultz can’t go is it Rudwesel? No hope for Franky Corona I guess.

      • Midnight Rider

        I would think so, but I don’t know the handedness situation.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          oh yeah. Rudeweasel, Corrado and Schultz are all RD.

          • Midnight Rider

            Then, yeah, count on seeing 2 if 4 can’t go.

      • Penguin in Houston

        Thank you! Ron Mexico still had him on his roster. Whut!?

    • Thannnnkss Riiiiiider

  • randy

    Yay, we’re back to our 7% shooting. Good game, Malkin looked like he could’ve had a hat trick.

    • Ungaba

      4 posts? 5? Ugh.

      • randy

        Just trying to stay off the charts (referring to Rad’s PDO chart) in terms of luck. When will it end?

    • SouthSideGeno

      No way…he’s on my F-leauge team…cursed for this season

      • Midnight Rider

        Waive him. Get your fantasy stank off 71.

        • SouthSideGeno

          #fantastank

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Good news is, Jarry can play with the big boys. GA notwithstanding, its hard to lay more than 1 of those goals on him.

    • Jovi

      he can also take a hit: someone slid into him and guent hit him the head

      • Andy Pepperqvist

        Was that the Grabner odd man rush?

  • Andy Pepperqvist
  • I will say this one time and one time only.

    For #hp do not spell come as “cum” or ADD WORDS (@disqus_EW7CN3ih4d:disqus i’m looking at you) in brackets. That is CHEATING and if it happens again I will invite Clara in here to deal with things

  • SouthSideGeno

    Well frk that noise

  • SouthSideGeno

    Jarry is very good…can’t really blame him for tonight’s loss…butt JEEBUS is way better.
    He let in one questionable gola…and the freakish bounce gola lost it…4-1 with Jeebus on the cross.
    I blame…LeTang….muahaha

  • Jovi

    bright side: this will re-affirm to Lundy that he can never play against the Pens if NY wants to win

  • Quiet this mornin

  • Rad88
  • SouthSideGeno

    100 vuotta…impressive : /