Phil ‘My Thrill’ Kessel

This was an interesting research project because I really didn’t know much about Kessel before he arrived.  My only memory of Kessel was that he was last pick at one of the All star games and everyone thought it was funny.  When Kessel escaped from , fled from , arrived here 2 ys ago from Toronto, it was amongst a lot of controversy.  At the time, I thought it was just that he didn’t work out well in Toronto or that the crazy Canadian media hated him but, Kessel’s has been a drama magnet from the start of his career.

After Zeus made love to a beautiful young female eagle, Philip Joseph Kessel was born in Wisconsin on October 2, 1987.  He honed his skills on mount Olympus and learned to wield lighting, but he could not remain hidden forever.  His parents thought it was time for him to experience mortality and to remain among the humans.  Of course he was not like the other child and that brought on new challenges that he had to maneuver around.  People called him harsh, haughty, and arrogant; he was quickly labeled as a problem despite all his gifts.  When the time came for all of the hockey world to evaluate his talents … it didn’t go as …. expected.

First day at Juniors: Parent drop off circle

On paper he was compared to other greats and was supposed to be the 2006’s version of the Sidney Crosby sweepstakes.

Central Scouting Report:
Is a very fast and quick skater who often surprises opponents with an extra gear … with outstanding breakaway speed he can carry the puck and separate himself from pursuers in an instant and can turn an opponent inside out one-on-one … has a heavy accurate shot and very quick hands when releasing his wrist shot at top speed … can beat a goaltender in many ways and is an excellent passer and play-maker who can find his man in traffic or open ice with ease … has the ability to go end-to-end and bring fans to the edge of their seats … is excellent on the power-play and a threat to score when killing penalties … is good on face-offs and capable of using his offensive instincts to determine the outcome of a game … he wants the puck when the game is on the line and while not overly physical he does not shy away from the corners and along the boards … protects the puck well with his body and has strong persistent pursuit of the puck … has become more reliable in his defensive play this season … became USA Hockey’s National Team development program all-time leader in career goals with 104 and points with 180 in the 2004-05 season … has played on two U.S. World Junior Teams and in 2005-06 was selected rookie of the year in the WCHA and was selected to the all-rookie team while playing for the U. of Minnesota.

However, Kessel arrived at a judge-jury-executioner meeting with the heads of all the NHL teams during the combine.  This article is as scathing as ‘Bald Britney’; definitely sip your tea slow while reading.   Apparently this Gare Joyce person wrote a book called “Future Greats and Heartbreaks”, in which he documents what he saw at the 2006 draft.

Kessel has a reputation for being disliked by teammates wherever he’s played.  Jack Johnson, second overall in last year’s draft, called him “a dirtbag” during one of his combine interviews.

 

YAAAAAAAS BITCH, IT WAS SAID.

Despite putting up 51 points in 39 games with Minnesota and an additional 11 points in seven games at the World Junior tournament, Kessel’s stock fell.  So instead of going first or 2nd, Phil was picked 5th by Boston.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In Boston, Kessel was placed on a line with Marc Savard and Milan Lucic.  There is not a lot of info of his time in Boston (at least that I could find).  It was like after the trade, the internet expunged all traces that Phil was even in Boston. It seemed his first 2 yrs were unremarkable.  He did win the Masterton his rookie year after he was diagnosed with testicular cancer.

The highly touted collegiate star had a difficult rookie season. He returned after being treated for testicular cancer, but managed just 11 goals in 70 games. He’ll get more opportunity this season.

 

So let’s talk about the massive trade that Toronto made happened to get Kessel.  Kessel’s 3rd season was a break out year for him, with 36 goals and 60 points in 70 games played.  In 11 post playoff games, he had 11 points and 6 goals.  At the end of Kessel’s entry contact, and after his most productive season under new coach Claude Julien, it was time for Kessel to get his pay day.  Boston was in talks with Kessel’s agent but lurking the background was no other than Brian Burke.

So apparently Burke called and was like hey, we’d love to have Kessel, what do you want?  And Peter Chiarelli (Boston GM) was like, how about Tomáš Kaberle and some picks.  However Burke only heard the first part, so when the time came to complete the deal during the following draft, it was cancelled.  Burke refused any additional picks, so Chiarelli called it off and instead tried to sweeten the pot with Kessel.  Unfortunately, Kessel had already mentally check out and was like, ‘I’m good, just trade me’.  His time in Boston was not going well under the new head coach.

… Chiarelli said. “We stress defense first. We stress competitiveness. ’’   Julien wasn’t shy about using playing time, or the lack of it, to send messages to Kessel.  He called out Kessel for playing soft in situations where he needed to be stronger on the puck and more aggressive about applying back pressure.  By his reasoning, Julien was tough on Kessel because he knew the depth and breadth of his goal-scoring talent, and that more was expected of such players.”

Eventually the Leafs and Bruins were able to come to an agreement.  However the Bruins still had some control and it would cost the Leafs a lot.  The Leafs sent the Bruins a first- and second-round pick in the 2010 draft, plus a first-round pick in the 2011 draft. Kessel signed a five-year, $27 million deal with the Leafs.  The picks eventually turned into Tyler Seguin, (No. 2 overall pick) and defenseman Jared Knight (second-round pick: He was traded and never actually played for the Bruins).  The 2011 first-round pick was used to pick defenseman Dougie Hamilton.

So the Maple Leafs got their prize and Kessel was about to be offered up in front of a hungry Toronto community.  However before he could put on the blue jersey, he had to have shoulder surgery.  It was a little secret that the Bruins left for Toronto.  When Kessel was ready to return to play, he lived up to his billing as prolific goal scorer.  Sadly, he was trying to steer a dead ship.  “The Leafs were not built to win during Kessel’s stay. Former Leafs general manager Brian Burke talked of five-year plans and patience and then traded two firsts and a second-round pick to Boston. Toronto got a great player but lost sight of what every team’s goal should be: consistency. Burke, meanwhile, would later explain that he felt ticket prices needed to be justified and that acquiring a player of Kessel’s caliber did just that.”

The first shoe to drop was the type of talent on his team.  The next shoe was his status as the face of the Maple Leafs.  Kessel was thrown into one of the biggest hockey media circus and well, he’s Kessel.

“Kessel was not the type to lead a team, though he was put in the position to do so, optically. Ownership and management and coaching put Kessel in a spotlight inappropriate for him and fans rightfully balked. It’s neither their fault nor his. There’s no fault to be passed around here.”

I agree with Kessel, who the hell can talk to the media ever damn day!  Before practice, after practice, during games, after games, while you’re trying to take a dump.  Tell me, who has that kind of stamina?

The last shoe, well, I guess the pants or shirt or socks.  Anyway we all know about Kessel’s love for some of his teammates, like Dion Enough and Tyler Bozak.  But not all his his teammates had the same affinity for Phil.  Colby Armstrong gave his own impression:

“We all see what he does: He skates fast to the puck, he shoots the puck, he can make things happen. But when the game’s on the line, if he can get a goal for you, that’s about all he’s gonna do. As far as winning battles and the extra mile, it did become, for me as a teammate, a little bit frustrating at times.

As a teammate, exactly what you see is what you get. And sometimes it was frustrating, wondering whether he was gonna be there for you or not.”

 

A lot of the articles I have read about Phil’s time in Toronto, all seems to complain about his personality.  He was too quiet and did not interact well with the media.  But everyone was happy with his point production.

“He, van Riemsdyk and Tyler Bozak have combined for 42 points in the last 12 games, and Kessel is sizzling, with five goals in three games and a seven-game point streak (six goals, eight assists). The longest he’s gone without scoring a goal this season is five games, perhaps a sign there’s more consistency in his game.”  Kessel has found the back of the net 156 times in 364 games with Toronto. Only four other players have more tallies in that time frame: Steven Stamkos (210), Alex Ovechkin (203), Corey Perry (172) and Patrick Marleau (161). In addition, he has been highly durable, participating in 97 percent of Toronto’s games during his tenure.

For whatever the cause Kessel’s time in Toronto was ending.  Fans seemed ready, the media seemed ready, and Phil seemed more than ready.  ‘No need to split the assets, you keep the house and dog, I’ll take the Keurig’.

 

 

Oh the tears!  It is so good especially since you already know the ending.

 

So lets not delay this any more, its time for FREEDOM AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.  It was time for Kessel to bring his flag down from Mt. Olympus to the hallowed halls of Wexford.

 

 

 

 

 

Pittsburgh gave up center Nick Spaling, winger Kasperi Kapanen, and defenceman Scott Harrington, plus a first- and third-round pick next year.  Kessel, winger Tyler Biggs, defenceman Tim Exison, and a 2nd round pick were sent to Pittsburgh.  Oh, and lets not forget that the Maple Leafs retain part of Kessel’s salary, $1.2-million annually to be exact (for 7 years!).

[Did you guys know that Gary Roberts was involved?  That guy could turn cardboard Oprik into an All Starer.]

In the beginning of the 2015 campaign, I personally was not impressed by our expensive new toy, Kessel.  He was giving Perron feelings: a lot of expectation with little results.  He was pretty quiet, so quiet, that the Leafs forgot to honor him on his first return back to Toronto.  However this was a different team, a different fan base, and a different media.  Kessel was given time to find his way.  Quite honestly, there were other fish to fry; most of the team was on zombie mode under FHCMJ.

“Maybe the most disappointing part of Kessel’s short tenure in Pittsburgh is his production. If you’re concerned that he isn’t scoring, I can’t necessarily argue with you. One thing that you’ll want to consider though, is that Kessel is Pittsburgh’s third leading scorer right now, falling just one point behind Crosby with 18 total points on the year. His nine goals are second to only Malkin, who has 14 tallies so far. So, in other words, Kessel is positioned exactly where most would have predicted prior to the season. Unfortunately, the entire team’s scoring totals are down and he’s being impacted greatly by that.  I believe the biggest test for Kessel is yet to come. A true test of his character and how much of a team guy he is. That test is whether or not he’s willing to do whats necessary in order to help this team power through some very troubling times.”

What could new coach Mike Sullivan do with Phil Kessel?  Did we over pay for a dudd?  Thankfully not, Kessel was still the prince that was promised.  Sending FHCMJ to the woodshed broke the curse over the team.  The stars began to align and hot dog stocks were on the rise.  Kessel started clicking with Malkin on the second line then Malkin got injured in Febuary.  Dreams of redemption, for the whole team, started to fade but then cagey old Jim Rutherford made a trade.  And so was born the HBK line.

Kessel’s during this time, showed a guy who bought into a system completely.  He had a coach he respected, not feared, and he had teammates who had his back.  He found like minded people with a common goal.  What look like a dumpster fire in November was now a well oiled machine.  The Penguins wanted to go deep and Kessel was willing to do everything that he was previously criticized for.  Time to take the plastic wrap off his ball, it was time to become a man.

“Phil Kessel, nice guy, tries hard, loves the game.”

 

So Phil Kessel, you win the cup and take your flag of redemption to the White House.  Where do you go afterwards?  Well he was kind enough to hose off that bridge he burned and carry the Stanley cup to Toronto.  Why?  Because that’s what MERICINS do.

Year 2 of Kessel had some hiccups.  HBK line lost its magic and he was moved around for a bit before he officially landed back on The Russian’s line.   Something I don’t think Kessel gets recognition for is his skills as a  passer.  His production goal wise wasn’t bad but he was setting up Malkin left and right.  However the injury bug hit everyone except Iron Man Kessel.  Line juggling occurred but the team still found a way to win.  Playoff time arrived and Kessel was a main figure once again.

Well, different year but same story …

 

 

 

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY PEEPS

 

Notable Links:

Olympics

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

General info: If should have just copy/paste this article instead of writing a post.  Explains the ‘Nice guy’ origins story.

 

Kessel discusses being diagnosed with cancer

 

Kessel making ‘friends’

 

Random

  • SouthSideGeno

    Happy ‘4th of Phil’ errybody!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5d4e0a3bf00e444be9ca611806e2bfefeda12e577eff5678bff3e4d0cf678fda.gif

    Doan blow any fingers auff taday!
    (butt if yinz do, just put em on a bun, smother em with ketchup, mustard and relish and ‘eat it’ fer Old Glory Hole)

    • lauriruu

      We’ve had 735 days of Phil… It’s been like walking on sunshine.

      WOO OOO O

      • SouthSideGeno

        And each of those days has been total Freedom from Cuplessness

  • SouthSideGeno

    This post is incredibly ‘Philthy’ Jovi…which is why I like it ; )

  • Andy PepPep

    I’m only saying this because I love you. (proofread)

    • SouthSideGeno

      hahaha…it’s the ‘Jovinator’ dude…Jovinator doan gotz thyme fer dat

    • Andy PepPep

      Awesome post, by the way.

    • Jovi

      what is wrong, i’ll fix it?

      • Midnight Rider

        Steve Sullivan was intentional, yes?

        (Loved the post! It must have taken lots of time to compile, and grammar/spelling is overrated anyway.)

      • lauriruu

        It’s covered in warts… Halp.

        • Jovi

          Sorry, again. I still have 3 days of antibiotics to complete.

          • lauriruu

            I really thought a glove would have protected sufficiently.

          • Jovi

            Ottawa had that same thought.

          • Andy PepPep

            Boom

          • lauriruu

            At least it hasn’t fallen off… Yet.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Damn those toilet seats!

  • SouthSideGeno

    HIGH FIN!

    HAPPY 4th OF FIN

    • lauriruu

      HI FIN!

      • SouthSideGeno

        Whenever I talk with you on here …It makes me feel like I have my finger on the pulse of the entire World. Ahhh the inter-webs…I think yer blood pressure might be a lil bit HIGH taday ; )

        • lauriruu

          You must be thinking, “what a dirty, perverted world this is.”

          • SouthSideGeno

            Always…FYI…It’s ‘reverse cowgirl’ fireworks day on Porn Hub today ; )

          • Andy PepPep

            I know what fireworks are. I know what reverse cowgirl is. I don’t know how to combine them.

          • SouthSideGeno

            BANG BANG WOOOOWHOOOO

        • lauriruu

          Should I call you Mr. Worldwide from now on?

      • Jovi

        I’m sure the Fin cares nothing for the 4th, just another work day.

        • lauriruu

          Woahhh easy der… I’m not working today.

          • Jovi

            Out drinking some colorful drink?

          • lauriruu

            Oh I wish. I bought two beers though. They’re not ‘very colorful’ when drunk out of a can.

  • lauriruu

    Easily my most favouritestiest bestest Jovi post yet. Frk yesh!

  • Andy PepPep
    • lauriruu

      DUDE! I’m in public… Not cool.

    • SouthSideGeno

      Glorious…priceless…cupless 4 EVA

    • Jovi

      That’s is sad. We can’t be blamed for everything, look what the Rangers did. They should have stacked the deck during the years we sucked.

      • Andy PepPep

        Lol……. They did.

  • SouthSideGeno

    Murica dude…early ‘cowgirl’ catches the ‘reverse’ worm

    • lauriruu

      That’s the Murica I’ve always heard about.

      • SouthSideGeno

        Slap on yer 6 shooter, tug on yer cowboy boots and ride that big silver mustang on over the pond and join us for the party….we’re all gettin nekid in the streets after the sun goes dahn!

        • lauriruu

          I should put my clothes back on then….

  • Midnight Rider

    Great stuff, Jovi!!!

    Enjoy yinz 4th, time to eat lots of BBQ and blow shit up.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    That was fun, thanks Jovi.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    We signed a Left D for WB/S, some guy named Czuczman. 13 career NHL games, no goals. Restocking the cupboard, don’t bother to look him up.

    • lauriruu

      #GameChanger

    • Jovi

      can we remove a ‘Z’

      • lauriruu

        Just call him Zooks… (If his name ever becomes relevant.)

      • Ungaba

        As soon as you tell me who the hell is really coaching the Pens you can remove a Z.

        Steve? Come on now, Jovi. He’s practically royalty. He deserves better.

        • Jovi

          hahahaha, did I used the wrong name.
          oops, what’s in a name.
          i’ll fix that. if you knew me, then you wouldn’t be surprised by this.

          • Ungaba

            I do know you, interwebs-wise at least. And I am not surprised. 🙂

            Great write-up, btw. Loads of fun to watch all of those clips again – and some for the first time.

          • Jovi

            LOL.

            Fixed!

    • SouthSideGeno

      Sooo… “Zuks-man” ???

  • lauriruu
  • Jovi

    Independence day on tv. Sure why not.

  • ItsAJagBaby

    Great write up Jovi!
    Happy 4th to all, even Finn
    So the team lost a lot of 3rd and 4th liners and 2D from our last cup team, however we are adding LeGame.
    So we could be just as good but not as good as 15-16 team IMHO

    Who is going to be the big threat out of the east this year to try to knock us off?
    Montreal?
    Tampon?
    Philly? Haha just kidding

    • Jovi

      Who is going to be the big threat out of the east this year to try to knock us off?
      Rags?
      Queen Lundy only has so many years left.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Here’s my hot take on the moves league-wide so far:
        The West is getting better, the Devils are getting better, Toronto is getting better, the Caps are getting worse, everybody else in the east is about the same.

        • Ungaba

          Agreed on all points. Tampa, with a healthy Stamkos, may be the Pens biggest threat in the East.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Maybe, Kunitz was a positive move for them, but they lost Druid, and Girardi is frking terrible, so +1, -5, but Stamkos is a game changer. I don’t think they’re improved by the moves they’ve made.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Fuk em all…it doan mattaa…’WE’RE’ 3Peat’en

  • Love the post! Your best yet!

    • SouthSideGeno

      You mean, next to Lisa Ann, right?

      • Andy PepPep

        SSG is on a porn bender today.

        • SouthSideGeno

          #MISSINGHAWKEYPORN

  • happyrobot

    Yeah, but can he fire the pill?

    • Jovi

      no, just no.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      ahem…”fire the pill”….jesus…c’mon man.

      • happyrobot

        Realized that after I hit post … hangs head in shame.

        • Ungaba

          Worry not, my good bot! The phrase was so poor that altering it has no real impact anyway.

          Also, it may have been the straw that fired the Steigy’s back, so it’s a win-win.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            There is no Steigy only Paul.

          • Ungaba

            It worked better in my phrase. Believe me, I didn’t want to use it that way.

          • SouthSideGeno

            There can be only one…

    • Andy PepPep

      No, but we can fire Paul Steigerwald.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Canes got Kruger.

    • Jovi

      guess they wanted to slip it under the radar.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        mmmmmm

    • Ungaba

      How does he wear gloves with those finger blades? Seems unnecessarily difficult.

      • Jovi

        it would be fun to have him just for the meme potential.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Can I just say…”NO JORDAN STAAL” been there, done that. Lets not do it again, k?

    • Ungaba

      …ish.

      If the Canes paid part of his salary so we could have him for about $4M, I’d do it. He’d be SOOOOOOOOO jacked to recapture the magnet, and he’s still the best 3rd line center in hockey.

      • Jovi

        4 million! really, you think we should pay that?

        • Ungaba

          He’s worth it. And talk about incented to win.

          Yeah, I would do it. In a heartbeat.

          • He is absolutely not worth that

          • 2.5 tops

          • Ungaba

            You’re nuts – his production is down in Carolina because Carolina. If you’re trying to tell me that Nick Bonino is better than him, you’re just wrong.

            The biggest problem is that he’s making 6m/yr until 2023, and THAT is a major overspend for him.

          • I think he’s better than Bonino but I’d never spend 4 mil on him. Our defense is the problem r/n, anyway

          • Ungaba

            Fair enough. But ‘problem’ is over-stating it a little. Our defense is necessarily weaker because we spent so much on offense. Which was the plan. But I still like Letang, Dumoulin, Maatta, Schultz as our top 4. Oh yeah, Cole. And Hunwick.

            That’s actually a pretty solid blue line, IMO.

          • If Letang is healthy, yeah. And if Maatta (and Pouliot) could develop more I’d feel a bit better. I have my hopes up for Hunwick.

          • Ungaba

            Maatta is developed enough. He gets top 4 minutes and looks pretty good the majority of the time. He’s fine.

            I have no hope for Pouliot and no reason to hope either. He’s failed everytime he’s been looked at. Blame whomever, but it ain’t working.

            Letang staying healthy is definitely key, but if something happens and you have to play RudeWeasel more and get a rental at the deadline, they’ve proven they can make that work.

            Nah… spend the money on a good 3C – that’s where it will have the biggest impact.

          • j-b0t

            Weren’t you a Depres apologist back in the Lovejoy trade days?

            Pouliot has shown more potential and development than Despres ever did (with the Penguins).

          • Jovi

            how about 3 and another million if he gets us to the finals?
            everyone can be happy

          • that sounds fair

          • Jovi

            The real question is, will he be as good without Kennedy?

          • Ungaba

            TK is still around working for Root and with the Pens a bit. He’s even been on sports call-in shows. So he’d have his wubby nearby, if not on the ice.

          • Jovi

            wubb, heheh,wubby

          • The real question is how he’d play with Jagr

          • Ungaba

            For the record, I’m 100% back-on-board with a Jagr reboot. Providing it’s for $1M/1yr.

          • Door_Matt

            I’d pay Jagr $2M/1yr. His numbers with FLA will probably improve with the Pens.

          • Jovi

            He won’t because Jagr goes to Geno. Will just dope Jagr up with vitamins or crack to get the minutes.

          • SouthSideGeno

            For once…(maybe twice) I agree with you UNG.

            Can we add a pinch of Jagr?

      • Penguin in Houston

        And Sully would get more production out of him cuz Sully.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Shit! the Avs got Yak for 875k, srsly GMJR? you couldn’t throw Gaunce money at that guy? c’mon.

    • Ungaba

      Yak was worked in exactly zero places that he’s been. Did we really want another ‘Russian Project’ ala Plotnikov? No thanks.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        for 875k if he scores 10 goals he’s worth it. And if he’s a bust what’s the loss? I agree generally that its a gamble, but at that price, its not much of one.

  • Ungaba
    • Jovi

      LOL, drunk Maatta.

  • Ungaba
  • Ungaba

    Hey, I know we talked about this before, but I was just on capfriendly and saw Sheary there and started thinking… what’s he going to get? My guess is 3yrs / 2.5M per.

    For Dumo, 3 yrs, 4.5M per.

    For Archie, 2 yrs, 700k

    That’s 7.25 of 11.055 leaving 3.8 M. Assume Cullen returns for $1m/1yr. That’s 2.8M of space for the year.

    I’m calling it now – if Cullen returns, I think GMJR sits and waits and sees what the existing team does through the year and doesn’t pull the trigger on anything until close to trade deadline.

    • Ungaba

      Update on Sheary. I think he get less.

      Reg Season: 105 GP, 30G, 33A
      Playoffs: 45GP, 6G, 11A

      That’s $2M/yr, 3 yrs. IMO.

      • Jovi

        do you think he would leave to get more $$$?

      • PensPointsYourMom

        This guy did a spreadsheet of UFAs and RFAs predicted contracts based on point production https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1oLsyS63DJO58zSXEbUv2HFXhSFK5IyuN3lCOgfPjt6M/edit#gid=0
        You can see him track what signed players actually got paid, and he’s usually off, some by a little some by a lot. But the bottom line is that he says Sheary is worth 3.8.

        Looking at Sheary’s 63 points over 2 seasons, he falls in the company of some pretty recognizable names, Drouin, Nameistikov, Abdelkader, Shaw, Morgan Rielly, names that would seem to suggest a big ass pay day. Bad news is that Sheary played less games than most of those guys so his P/pg is higher. If P/pg is the metric he’s comparable to JT Miller, Brassard and Wereski , outperforming J. Staal, Martin Hanzal and Landeskog (COL sucks tho). He also has a few cheaper companions on the points list, like Matt Cullen and some guy I’ve literally never heard of named Sven Baertschi (VAN wing) who made 1.8 last year and the year before.

        If you’re in Sheary’s camp the argument is, he’s Drouin come again, although not as hard working – have to concede that point. I do think Sheary, his agent, and the pens are all aware that Sheary is in the position that he’s in, because of Sid. Its Gibby all over again. Give him the right elite center, and he’ll produce, but he isn’t gonna carry a line on his own like another penguin wing, whose name rhymes with Bill Tessell. And how many teams have “the right elite center” with a vacant spot on his wing, and a speed game? Sheary has to recognize that a home town discount will lengthen his career, and a big time payday now, may signal its end sooner, rather than later. If Sheary is aware of that I see something in the 2.5 range, if not he walks for 3.5+

        tl;dr Sheary is due a raise, but if he’s smart he’ll stay put for less money.

        • SouthSideGeno

          Totally yer mum

    • Midnight Rider

      My guesses are $3M for Sheary, $3.5 for Dumo, and Cullen retires.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        reasonable.

        • Midnight Rider

          And Dumo is worth more than that, IMO, but he doesn’t have the points to get a huge payday.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            He’s got a weak arbitration case on the stats. Sucks for him, good for us. Opposite with Schultz so for the team it will probably all work out in the end, for the players its a raw deal.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Yer mum, yer mum, yer mum

    • SouthSideGeno

      Yer mum

  • SouthSideGeno

    I’m drinking French 75’s and yinz are writing waaaay too many wurds in yer posts.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      shhh….I’m trying to teach your mum how to read.

      • SouthSideGeno

        Tadays lettur is P.

        P is for….Power Play

        • PensPointsYourMom

          pdrunk (the p is silent)

        • Jovi

          probation

    • Jovi

      do you mean heinz 57

      • PensPointsYourMom

        why would he drink ketchup?

        • Jovi

          PPYM, SSG; SGG, PPYM. I’ll leave you two to talk and get to know each other.

        • lauriruu

          BECAUSE HEINZ IS THE PINNACLE OF CONDIMENTS. It’s so bestest that it can be enjoyed without any actual food.

  • PensPointsYourMom
  • SouthSideGeno
    • PensPointsYourMom

      Gary loves wieners in his mouth

  • j-b0t

    I saw the Wonder Woman movie last night.

    I have never been so thoroughly befuddled about how I feel about a movie. It was fantastic in spots, and completely cringe-worthy in others. It was simultaneously totally stupid and emotionally poignant. It was entertaining and it was boring.

    I just needed a safe space to air out my robot confusion.

    • Midnight Rider

      I watched Hacksaw Ridge on Saturday. It was terrible for an hour, and pretty good for the second hour. Mel Gibson sucks.

    • Jovi

      OMG I had the same experience. I was bored through most of it. I was very predictable and I was having trouble separating reality from history. I like history.

    • SouthSideGeno

      Hollyweird is lame.

      “WE” could make better movies

      Suicide Squad wasn’t terrible.

      • Randy

        All these ‘blockbuster’ films are lame. I do watch the Batman series, but that’s about it. I’d rather watch youtube videos on converting a van into a mobile dwelling or something like that. Last time m’lady conned me into watching Beauty and the Beast on date night. It could’ve been so much better.

        • Andy PepPep

          Cut the foreplay

          • Randy

            Not sure what cutting the foreskin has to do with any of this.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Is anyone interested in a pre-owned foreskin stretcher?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Is it the ‘scratch-N-sniff’ version?

          • Jovi

            what da hell.

          • Randy
      • lauriruu

        I thought Suicide Squad wad atrocious. Eww.

        • SouthSideGeno

          Fin WAD

          • lauriruu

            That turned out to be a happy accident.

  • Jovi

    Tom Cruise Mummy or Brendan’s?

    • lauriruu

      Well, both really.

      • Jovi

        don’t be greedy

  • j-b0t

    Brendan always and forever.

    • lauriruu

      Yinz go ahead and debate that.

      • Jovi

        no debate, i second that and when two agree, it must be.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    THW did a piece on Schultz, it won’t blow you away, but it did have this one graph that says it all https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b549d1c210aaceaac29321b38511cfae2d0a748b6acada5acec87c13e4cd84bc.png

    Side note: I’ve been lurking over at RMNB lately and I’m reminded that Schultz will make the same thing Orpik will make next year. I like Orpik he’s a beast, but for the money in 2017-18 I’ll take Schultz all day.

  • Randy

    I appreciate the homage to Kessel. I was worried it would be too long to read fully on a busy day, but def. worth it. Killer procrastination material here. And what a story Kessel has become. I wonder how many really good players drifted off into mediocrity from being stuck on bad teams.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Matt Duchene knows the answer to that question. As does John Tavares.

      • Randy

        Ooh ok, I suppose we could give Duchene a shot.

      • j-b0t

        What’s happening to Tavares is downright criminal. He is my pick for best center in the league after Crosby. He’s incredible and people somehow manage to never even think of him.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          hey, its kinda his fault, not that he wasn’t enticed but he’s signed contract after contract with the Isles, and they’ve never really been good.

      • Jovi

        John Tavares, what a waste. They were looking scary ~4 yrs ago, but not anymore.

    • Randy

      Oh and now I know why you were asking about Wexford hannies. I would’ve said the “him pasted halls of Wexford” but that’s just me.

    • Ungaba

      Now I guess I have to figure out if I should pay attention to Randy’s posts any longer. He’s throwing me off with Che…

      • Randy

        You never paid attention in the first place. *ovie sulk*

        • HawtDoge

          Dad, Mom called, she said, “Tell your father he’s had his fun, but he can’t live in the shed forever and I’m switching off the breaker to his mini fridge if he doesn’t come back in the house soon. When I told him ‘exit only’ I meant it.”

          So… I’m gonna go off myself real quick…

          • Ungaba

            I dunno why I’m laughing so hard at this. Is this outta your head or is it from a show or something?

          • HawtDoge

            This is a real thing that’s happening in real LIFE! (Jk, I jus made it up)

          • Randy

            Made up? :'(

          • HawtDoge

            Called mom back, she says she’ll “do that thing with her pinky he likes” on your birthday’s but NOT anniversaries, final offer. For real, these are my last words, goodbye cruel world…

          • Randy

            Son, we doan care about your fake depression. Anyway, tell her pinky in the dickhole is her thing, and it hurts.

          • Randy

            Well, you can call mom and tell her I want to go brown town or it’s no dice. That or rimjobs on at least my birthday and Christmas. Those are the terms and I’ll accept no less!!

  • Broken Coach Vlad

    It feels like a sunday night, blah

    • PensPointsYourMom

      booooooo!!!!!!

  • lauriruu
  • Andy PepPep

    Every day is the 4th of July to me.

    • lauriruu

      True. It felt like most weekdays.

  • SouthSideGeno

    Back in the ‘actual’ office after two weeks…kill me.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Niemi doesn’t have to play 30 games, he can play 20, and Jarry can play 10.

    • HawtDoge

      Ooooo… I like the way you think…

  • MoonStanley
  • Randy
  • PensPointsYourMom

    Wilson with the pro/con of acquiring J. Staal:
    http://www.hockeybuzz.com/blog.php?post_id=86278

    • Andy PepPep

      Pro: he’s a solid 3rd line center.
      Con: everything else

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Thats a fair summary. I keep thinking about how going back to a “three center model” is not the right move. The past two years the pens have cups because of a “4 line model” Getting a Staal or Duchene is not the current recipe for success. The current recipe involves depth. offensive and defensive on every line.

        • Andy PepPep

          Agreed, I’d rather have 2 pretty good centers at 3/4, instead of J Staal at 3 and a liability like Dustin Jeffrey or Joe Vitale at 4. You’re basically conceding 12 minutes a night with a bad 4th line.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    First few paragraphs…fap fap fap.
    Remainder….blah blah blah.
    But its an interesting look into the mind of a defeated enemy.
    https://www.theplayerstribune.com/pekka-rinne-nashville/

    • lauriruu

      #PekkaPulled

    • Ungaba

      Pittsburgh: Destroyer Of Dreams.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Dumo and Sheary are filing for arbitration…bye bye Conor. Sucks in any case though, you hate to see that kind of rift open up with the team.

    • Andy PepPep

      Dumo. Please stay.
      Sheary. You would look better as Daniel Sprong.

    • PenguinPelts

      They’re not going anywhere unless they get traded. It just means they don’t agree with the money offered and they are going to make their case to a neutral party.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        if the arbitrator come back with a number the pens won’t pay, they become UFAs.

        • Randy

          And if the arbitrators suggest less than what JR originally offered?

        • PenguinPelts

          True, but really the only one who has as case to make more than offere,d closer to a number the Pens would consider not paying, is Dumoulin. Sheary’s service length isn’t as large.

    • MoonStanley

      I wonder what Dumo wants vs what he was offered. I thought Sullivan <3'd Dumo… pay him

      • PenguinPelts

        Especially when Letang sits about 40+ games again, they need someone on the blue line they can count on.

        • MoonStanley

          And he’s young and can drink 3 beers at once!

          • Ungaba

            That’s gotta be worth a mil by itself!

          • MoonStanley

            easily!

          • lauriruu

            Who knows what his beer drinking form is this Summer?

          • MoonStanley
          • lauriruu

            Woah. That’s not reich.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            booooo

          • MoonStanley

            woops! i didn’t even notice that hahaha wtf

          • PensPointsYourMom

            “SpiderMensch has a solution to your problem….a final solution”

      • Rad88

        Doesn’t arbitration work if the player feels the offer isn’t right? In my mind DUmo has to be thinking that Maatta got this, and Schultz this, so he should be in the middle, which is where I thought JR would be anyways. I’m wondering if it is an issue with term and not money

        • MoonStanley

          Very interesting! We need more info

        • Ungaba

          I agree with you in theory, but maybe GMJR really is trying to low-ball both of them, esp. on money. On term, yeah it would be nice to get 4+ yrs, but I don’t see it happening. They like this feeling of ‘cap space’ way too much to just sign it all away immediately.

          • Rad88

            I haven’t been around here enough to know the general feeling, but if the rumors of 4 mil for Sheary are true then he will look really good in any other jersey. Love the kid but not for anything more than 2.5/2 years

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Sheary has a good arbitration case. But the pens should let him walk if he gets what he’s statistically comparable to.

          • Rad88

            I agree, and I figured he would go to arbitration. Really surprised with Dumo based on GMJRs ability to sign Maatta and Schultz. I feel JR is smart with what Sheary is, and then Shearys agent is like “my client was in your top 8 scoring and should be paid as such” blah blah

          • PenguinPelts

            And then JR can come back with “True, then your client disappeared for us for two series and we had to put in a career AHLer.”

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I’ve commented extensively on the subject. But it all boils down to this. Would Sheary rather make 2-3 mil for 6 to 8 years, or 4 for 2, 2 for 2 and 1 for 2?

          • PenguinPelts

            Nah I’ll buy what you’re sellin right now.

  • The66thDopefish

    I don’t know what’s better: that NPR spent hours tweeting the entire Declaration of Independence yesterday, or that Trump supporters didn’t realize that the Declaration of Independence wasn’t written about him.

    • Ungaba

      Sweet baby jeezus, are we really doing this?

      • MoonStanley
        • Ungaba

          Some explanation required, plz…

          • MoonStanley

            Chris Christie and his family this weekend after shutting down the entire beach because he basically wanted to. it’s more complicated than that, but essentially:

            Chris Christie shut down NJ state parks on the busiest weekend of the year because he’s a chode. He had the beach all to himself

          • Ungaba

            Or there is a state budget impass and, as governor, he said, ‘No money will be spent on unnecessary services until you idiots in the state congress work this shit out’.

            But yeah, it’s probably just ‘he’s a jerk’. Neener neener.

          • MoonStanley

            His demeanor shows his true intentions. If you think that guy cares about the public, you are dead wrong.

          • Midnight Rider

            “In the meantime, the beaches are mine, bitches.”

          • Ungaba

            The posters that went up blamed a different guy altogether. And if him being on the beach gets people mad, maybe their congress will hear about it and do the right thing.

            But, by all means, blame the guy at the top. He expects it anyway.

          • MoonStanley

            He hasn’t done anything to earn my admiration… or most of the people in that state, for that matter

          • Ungaba

            Any politician that has done anything to ‘earn your admiration’ was doing it because of a focus group. Reps and Dems alike. To believe otherwise is to kid yourself.

            Look, I get your point. But it’s a losing argument from either side.

          • MoonStanley

            What’s the argument here? I said CC is a terrible person who is probably to blame for the shutdown.

            He obviously holds some of the blame, and he’s a terrible person.

            There is no argument here, haha.

          • Ungaba

            And I would say that the gov’s job isn’t to pass the budget – he just signs the budget that he is given. And his Congress isn’t giving him a budget. How does that make him a terrible person?

          • MoonStanley

            He’s been a terrible person since he took office. That’s as far as I’ve followed him. His demeanor and attitude is not respectable unless you’re cool with scumbags.

          • Ungaba

            “Judgement, judgement, judgement, feelings, feelings, biased news coverage”

            I’m not sure if that’s what you wrote, but that’s what I read.

            CC may well be a jerk. Just like Obama may well be a saint. But I don’t believe either one of those things because of what I see on TV or read online.

            The only thing I worry about with your argument is how emotion-based it is, as opposed to fact-based. That’s the only reason I keep replying. People love to say, ‘look at him – he’s a jerk’ about any number of people, but they have very little actual factual evidence to support the claim. It just gets tiresome.

            Having said that, you are entitled to your opinion because ‘Merica.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Bridge-gate was pretty despicable. Beyond that I don’t care one iota about Chris Christie.

          • MoonStanley

            Jesus Christ, do you watch a lot of Fox news or something?

            I don’t give a fuck what the media says. I watch the dude speak, I read his records, I see how he reacts to things…. The guy is a scumbag

          • Ungaba

            Don’t shit on me because I question how you make your judgement on the guy. That’s not nice. And it’s extra not nice to assume I’m a Fox News person because I question your opinion, especially since I can tell that you would hold people who watch Fox News in contempt. I don’t assume YOU’RE an ass because of what you watch, right?

            Anyway, as I said, you’re entitled to your opinion.

          • MoonStanley

            I very clearly shitted on your defense of CC. You were beginning to sound like a Fox News-head. I love ya, Ung, but I can’t respect someone defending a scumbag “because you question how I make my judgment on the guy”

            You assumed that I get my info from the ” dirty libs”. You are making asses out of you and me.

            I don’t watch any major news networks… at all. You have nothing to assume!

          • Ungaba

            Never, not for a minute, was I defending CC, that Phat Phuck. I merely suggested your blame was misplaced.

          • MoonStanley

            and you tried to make me feel embarrassed about it! “not nice”

          • Ungaba

            OK, time for a truce.

            Back to titties and beer.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            and dick jokes?

          • Ungaba

            obvs

          • MoonStanley

            every time i bring one of these assholes up, you attack my integrity. “not nice”

            I’m all for a truce, but stop attacking me for shitting on these shitheads.

            I wanna smoke

          • Ungaba

            I will merely ignore your attacks – even when I want to be an ass. Apologies.

            You know what they say about ‘opinions’. They start with O. So here is my O face: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/747aef3e3f97f34f6d2379c728629ffa277bfb60dcf64f4292adf879da0b0376.jpg

          • MoonStanley
          • Ungaba

            “That guy is a scumbag”

            OK, honestly, I will stop now.

          • MoonStanley

            Lol yeah, for his scumbag ways. I still wouldn’t punch the guy… I just wanna shake the bad ideas out of his head

            Just like you act like an ass.. you’re not an asshole, you just act like one sometimes

          • MoonStanley

            Also, I didn’t call him a “phat phuck” and resort to his looks. I attacked what he does and how he presents himself.

          • Ungaba

            “phat phuck”. It’s nicer.

            I get your point. I did that because I AM an asshole as well, and I don’t like the guy either.

          • MoonStanley

            You certainly made it seem like you were on his side earlier.

            I understand what I know of the behind the scenes stuff. My only point was that CC is a scumbag for his demeanor throughout the whole process when he’s the almighty mayor(or whatever his stupid title is) who should be above bullshit. His job is to serve the people. He’s not doing his job correctly, and continually exploits his office for personal gain.

          • Ungaba

            I presume, on the face of things, that every politician is exploiting his/her/it/whatever office for personal gain. So to me, it’s never about the person. ‘Insert Governor here’ would be just as bad.

          • MoonStanley

            Governor Arnold? I’m slightly curious how you might tear him down because it sure looks to me that he’s a genuine dude who’s killing it(in a positive way).

          • Ungaba

            I’m not here to tear anyone down. I just presume they are selfish first, that’s all.

            But you bring up a great point with Arnold. He may well be the exception to the rule. Him and I really liked Fred Thompson from Tennessee (RIP).

            But Arnie also ain’t the guvna any longer.

          • MoonStanley

            Nice! I just figured you would have some dirt on him if there was more than the nanny thing. You got a lot of facts rattlin’ around in that noggin’

          • Ungaba

            I dunno about lots of facts. But I admire Arnold because he worked so damn hard. He made a list: I will be the best body builder ever. Check. OK, now I’ll be the highest paid actor ever. Check. OK, now I’ll be a politician and be the best I get to without being born in the US. Check. As a Republican. In literally the most Dem state in the history of Dem states. Oh, and he married a damn Kennedy.

            The dude has his warts – that nanny thing was pretty bad – but he owns them. And he continuously drives his enemies before him and listens to the lamentations of their women. He didn’t let anyone stop him.

          • PenguinPelts

            This is why I will always respect Arnold as well. He wanted a way to give back to the country that gave him so much. And sure, he may have been basically a lame duck governor out here- he was never really tested with anything- but he wanted to give back. Can’t give a man shit for that.

          • j-b0t

            Ung, you have to at least acknowledge just how bad the optics of this particular situation (beach thing) is.

            Regardless of the reasoning behind the beach/public space closures, and regardless of Christie’s actual character, the fact is that those spaces were “officially” CLOSED. Except that the beach wasn’t closed. Because it was, you know, A FUCKING BEACH, and it’s absurd that we allow public spaces to be bureaucratized in such a manner, but we allow it anyway for some conceptualization of conserving the space and preserving it to allow everyone fair access to it over the course of time, and so we accept things like the “closing” of a beach (lol), because it will better serve everyone’s access to that beach in the long run.

            But when Christie decides that this would be a great opportunity to take his own family on Vacay for the 4th, it completely invalidates that entire arrangement. It says the beach is closed FOR YOU, not me, because I’m the one who gets to decide when it’s closed, even though YOU are the ones that allowed me to have the privilege of making that decision.

            It exposes the whole of public land management (and by extension, a lot of other concessional governmental arrangements) a farce. It’s THE perfect illustration of the Tragedy of the Commons, except it’s the very figure who has been selected to prevent the tragedy from occurring that is diving into it, straight on. It’s fucking hypocritical, and it’s privileged, and it should offend EVERYONE, regardless of political or economic standing.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            tiddays

          • PenguinPelts

            It’s cronyism from a continuously growing mad man who wants to be a despot.

          • MoonStanley

            THANKS, J-BOT!

            I wish that you didn’t have to spell it out.

          • Ungaba

            He didn’t have to spell it out, but thanks for assuming that I didn’t understand the point of the argument until jbot came along. Sheesh.

          • MoonStanley

            even?

          • Ungaba

            Steven! Now… can we go back to tiddays and beer?

          • MoonStanley

            YEAH BABY!!!

          • PensPointsYourMom

            tiddays?

          • Ungaba

            Since we’re already this far down the rabbit hole, I will oblige you further.

            Recall that Moon’s early post said that ‘CC shut down the beach because basically he wanted to’. Yes, he said it was more complicated than that, but that was the point of the post.

            My issue is blaming the Governor for shutting down the beach when it was clearly the lack of Congress being able to present a budget that caused the situation. In fact, it kicked off a nice little piece of reporting on all of the states that haven’t passed budgets either. But that all got over-looked because some lard-ass decided to sit on the beach outside of the house that he was 100% allowed to be in. For instance, I learned that Illinois hasn’t had a budget in 3 years!!! How is that a thing? Regardless…

            And that now comes back to your point about public land management. How do you ‘close a beach’, to your point? It is ridiculous and it shouldn’t happen but it does and it did and we, the People, keep allowing these types of things to happen. The whole thing is insane.

            Finally, to your and Moonie’s point that it is indeed hypocritical – I agree. He shouldn’t have said ‘I’m governor and I was allowed to be there, blah’ – he should have eaten crow. But he’s a politician which means he sucks.

          • MoonStanley

            A spade is a spade.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            rassis

          • j-b0t

            So, let me get this straight, you’re basically saying that after all this, you agree that what Chrstie did was unacceptable and makes him look like a giant douche, you just got your panties in a twist over a slight misstatement regarding “the governor didn’t close the beaches, the government did”?

            Okay.

          • Ungaba

            First and foremost, they are boxer-briefs. If you’re going to insult me, do it right!

            And yeah, that’s kind of it. The story is now that an unpopular governor sat on the beach because of executive privilege when the story SHOULD be about how state congresses across the country aren’t doing their jobs.

            If we keep ignoring the real story here we will end up with 50 states without budgets and nobody giving a shit about it.

          • MoonStanley
          • PenguinPelts

            I think everyone is ignoring the main point, which is who the fuck wants to swim at a New Jersey beach to begin with?

          • MoonStanley
          • MoonStanley

            And why did you ask if you had your own info?

          • Ungaba

            I didn’t realize that was the pic. I had only seen the up-close shot. I knew about the NJ budget issue from the news.

          • MoonStanley

            Gotcha. The far-away shot gives one a better idea of the situation.

          • Randy

            Agreed. I would also appreciate a ‘splanation.

  • MoonStanley

    Work officially offered me money to stay, ha! We settled on “Let’s talk September 1st.” If I wanna come back, they’ll hold my spot and give me a few more G’s per year. Yeah baby!

    • Randy

      Noice! I love stories like that, but they should’ve offered you better pay before you chose to leave. I hate it when these guys get desperate and try to hold onto you even though you made up your mind.

      • Ungaba

        That’s pretty much the only way it works anymore. I had to threaten to leave once and ACTUALLY leave and come back once to get decent pay increases.

        • Randy

          I had to threaten to leave, then leave ur mom, then cut her off the crack supply. Things got better after that.

          • Ungaba

            Ah yes… the two C’s. She needs them both, it’s true.

          • Randy

            Crack and watching Crosby?

          • Ungaba

            …close enough.

          • lauriruu

            That’s C & WC.

          • Randy

            Oh I thought it was C in the WC. That’s where I do most of my crack.

      • MoonStanley

        Yeah, it’s so backwards

  • Rad88

    Rads 4th: Drink beer in park with ze lady and her friends. Eat Mexican food because America. Watch disappointing fireworks. Drink in bars. Leave bar to go next bar, hear a familiar sound… is that fireworks? Why are they so loud? Why are people running? Oh shit that was 7 gun shots, grab the lady and her friends and throw them into the nearest bar before they close their doors for protection… oh it’s good to be back, Savannah.

    • MoonStanley

      hollllly crap, glad you guys are okay!

    • Ungaba

      Looks like you get some early ‘saving lives’ practice before you’re even a doc! Well done!

      Also, move. Like, quickly.

      • Rad88

        haha well one of my potential hospitals is the Bronx one where that fired doctor just went crazy last week

        • Ungaba

          Hmmm… ok, so we’ll all pool our karma and hope you avoid the Bronx. Deal?

          Any other cities to put on the list while you’re making one?

    • PensPointsYourMom

      yup. that’s Savannah.

  • MoonStanley

    😀 Thanks! High Fin!

  • lauriruu
  • Ungaba

    Here’s what GMJR had to say about them filing for arbitration:

    ““Dumoulin and Sheary will be on our team next year,” he said. “That’s the important thing. We’ll get it taken care of.””

    Fine by me.

  • Ungaba

    I think GMJR’s complete honesty is what throws other GM’s off:

    On Matt Cullen: “He can take his time,” Rutherford said. “He’s Matt Cullen. He’s earned that right.”

    On a trade for a center: “It will happen when it happens.”

  • Ungaba
  • PenguinPelts

    Now there is a Sebastian Aho with the Hurricanes, a Fin, and a Sebastian Aho with the Isles, a Swede.

    What a world.

    • Ungaba

      ‘aho’ is the Korean word for the number 9

      • MoonStanley

        9 九 구 (gu) 아홉 (ahop) 아홉째 (ahopjae)

        • Ungaba

          ha! The p is silent, but I never spelled it – always just said it in class. Too funny!

          I can’t stop being wrong today I guess.

          *kills self*

          • MoonStanley

            Lol, you were damn close!

            Also, you took Korean in school?

          • lauriruu

            Koreans are Ung’s thing

          • Ungaba

            Been to Seoul. Those ‘cute Korean chicks’ that all look the same get lots and lots of plastic surgery to look like that. It’s almost like a cult. Many of the rich are gifted plastic surgery by age 16.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            #forbiddenKoreanjoke

          • MoonStanley

            Botulism?

          • Ungaba

            Tang Soo Do at CS Kim in Pittsburgh.

            Fun fact: CS Kim has appeared on the cover of Martial Arts Magazine more than anyone else except for Bruce Lee. He also showed up in person to every one of my promotion tests. Cool old dude. Did karate in a suit.

          • MoonStanley

            Kim in Brentwood??

          • Ungaba

            They’re all over the city. Mine is in Peters Township, but I tested in Bethel Park and… some other damn place, I forget where.

            I also took classes in Chicago and Dallas dojos. The Dallas ones are run by his son – the Chicago one by some other student.

          • MoonStanley
          • Ungaba

            Hardly. I have been out of it for quite some time and didn’t keep practicing. Pity, because it was a great workout, which is why I was doing it to begin with.

            I hate exercise, but that was an activity more than anything.

          • MoonStanley

            I’m sorry! Please don’t hurt me!!!!!

          • Ungaba

            I’d likely just fall down if I tried to do anything and younger, healthier you would whoop my arse!

          • MoonStanley

            Lol I’d still try to catch ya from falling

      • lauriruu

        Glade in Engrish

    • PensPointsYourMom

      …Ahope they don’t wind up on the same team…buh duh duh chaaaa.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Here’s what is considered, and not considered, in NHL salary arbitration:
    Considered:
    The player’s “overall performance” including statistics in all previous seasons.
    Injuries, illnesses and the number of games played.
    The player’s length of service with the team and in the NHL.
    The player’s “overall contribution” to the team’s success or failure.
    The player’s “special qualities of leadership or public appeal.”
    The performance and salary of any player alleged to be “comparable” to the player in the dispute.

    Evidence that is not admissible:
    The salary and performance of a “comparable” player who signed a contract as an unrestricted free agent.
    Testimonials, video and media reports.
    The financial state of the team.
    The salary cap and the state of the team’s payroll.

    • Ungaba

      What a f**ked up list of things. “Special qualities of leadership or public appeal” are considered but not ‘Testimonials, video and media reports’ that would potentially support them? I doan get it – how do you present those ‘special qualities’ then?

      How much to arbitrators get paid?

      • PensPointsYourMom

        dont know how much arbitrators make, but do you really want Schultz being able to point to the chugwalk as part of his salary negotiations? I suspect Dumo and Sheary will both say….”um…two stanley cups” and sit down.

        • Ungaba

          First, thanks for chasing those down and posting.

          But I guess I’m still confused. The ‘special qualities of … public appeal’ – wouldn’t that necessarily include the chugwalk? I mean, I can see the arbitrator scoffing at that, but the agent could just say, “The fans love him so much they buy those shirts and show up to watch him play because he’s so approachable and so much of an everyman”.

          Ah, but the ‘chugwalk’ would be inadmissible because it was a ‘media report’… OK, I follow better now.

          But now I’m confused about how you demonstrate the ‘public appeal’ angle at all…

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Jersey sales? Having streets named after you? That’s off the top of my head.

          • Ungaba

            Duh, jersey sales – I shoulda thoughta thata one.

  • lauriruu
    • Ungaba

      Every time I see those two in a pic together I just assume he’s smiling like that because he can’t believe he’s married to her either.

      • Andy PepPep

        AND she had a baby.

        • Broken Coach Vlad

          I don’t understand it, but women think he is hot. My wife is like Sidney is nice, but Geno…….

          • ItsAJagBaby

            Well, my wife says “All hockey players are so ugly” and I say “Yea but they have the hottest wives!”. Didn’t go over very well

      • MoonStanley

        Is that crazy blonde one with dyed hair?

        • SouthSideGeno

          Geno had blond hair?

          • MoonStanley

            lol he was dating a blonde maniac at one point…

            my english not so good

    • PensPointsYourMom

      you dik!

      • Randy

        What? I don’t see anything wrong with posting a video of two grown men fondling their muscular, taught buttocks in a way tha.. I mean yeah gross.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      WARNING ^^^^^^^^^^^ link is just man ass.

    • SouthSideGeno

      Wut dafuq is up with these guys..do they have a wedding date set?…Are they planning to adopt?

  • PenguinPelts
    • PensPointsYourMom

      that cheap and long.

      • PenguinPelts

        Still a high number. Not as high as many assumed, but it’s still going to be difficult to find players to fit under that number.

        • Ungaba

          Also points to the fact that he’s cognizant of how his contract will affect the rest of the team and was ‘nice enough’ to take less than he could have.

          If he stays as good as he is that number will be a steal in 2024. Much like Sid has been / will be the last years of his deal.

          • PenguinPelts

            I’m not doubting his skill and ability, but I mean, come on man.

          • Andy PepPep

            12.5 is a stupid amount of money, but I believe it is about the same % of the cap as Sid’s contact.

          • Ungaba

            Agreed, and that’s the point. I wouldn’t be surprised if McDavid requested the same percentage, actually. He’s no dummy – optics are important.

          • Andy PepPep

            Exactly. Geno didn’t care about optics.

          • Ungaba

            Our Geno? I thought he said ‘same value as Sid’ and it turned out to be a larger actual number but an identical cap hit percentage? Or something? Am I crazy? I am crazy, nvm. I forgot I already killed myself today, even.

          • Andy PepPep

            I heard that. I looked it up and Sid averages 8.7 Geno is making 9.5 each year of his deal.

          • Andy PepPep

            Geno’s previous contract averaged 8.7

          • Ungaba

            Aha! That’s the one I was thinking of! I knew that wasn’t just popping out of my brain.

          • PenguinPelts

            Sid knew that though. I remember him saying something that they need Geno and he needs Geno, so he’ll leave money on the table for him, especially because Sid makes $100 bajillion dollars in endorsements.

          • Randy

            I believe it was Crosby: 13.5% of cap space; Geno: 13.8% cap space at the time. 87 signed one year earlier than Geno. Tazer and Showtime signed a year later than that, and signed for 14.5% of the cap space each.

            $12.5M is 16.666% or 1/6 of the current salary cap. Considering he is more than 1/6 of the team (lol) I doan see it being a problem.

          • Ungaba

            And to think that Montreal just gave a 29 yo goalie who’s never won a Cup 14.4% of the cap.

            But I’m sure that won’t be a problem for them!

          • Randy

            That’s a little price-y. How much are we paying Murray? 😉

          • PenguinPelts

            But that’s assuming that the cap keeps going up, which is a big assumption.

          • Andy PepPep

            Exactly.

          • Penguin in Houston

            McJesus

  • PenguinPelts

    Also, Dynamo Moscow folded. All of these players are UFAs. Not sure how it exactly shakes it out IIFC and such, but if the Pens still need a 3C some options just opened up. I’m still looking for some scouting reports.

  • Randy

    If every team is overpaying for everyone and anyone to play with them, then does that mean that each team will eventually all suck equally?

    I wonder what Kessel could fetch on the open market, considering older and unproven Radulov is getting $6+

    • Ungaba

      Phil the Thrill would make 9 Mil.

      • Gotta have some kind of conditional about how many pills he fires

      • Randy

        You are on fire today Paul!

        Edit: good one!

  • Ungaba

    OK, I need help on this:

    https://twitter.com/SportsnetSpec/status/882686075336110080

    Everyone is saying that McDavid’s contract being structured like this is ‘lockout proof’. Is that because whatever is ‘yearly bonus’ will be paid regardless of whether or not he plays?

    Also, does a contract like this help bring on a lockout? Because that’s the implication that I’m seeing on hockey twitter and I don’t understand it. I understand the bonus part, I believe, but does his contract being like this mean more will demand that sort of thing?

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Yes that’s the purpose of the structure. Lots of contracts, especially longer ones are being structured that way.

      I doubt most players care if it “brings on” a lockout, but I would actually argue the opposite. If the Oilers are going to have to pay McDavid 10 mil, regardless of whether or not they make any money that year, aren’t they more invested in not having a lockout, than having one. At the end of the day, I don’t think a few players’ salaries will deter a lock out, but I do think with big long contracts, there is an incentive for players to want that protection.

      • Ungaba

        Wyshinski, among others, is already assuming that a 2020 lockout is inevitable. That would suck.

        • Randy

          well, heh. I mean. Heh, as long as 17-18 and 18-19 seasons are locked out, cuz, heh, the 4peat and all.

        • Randy

          A 2020 lockout could be worse!

        • Penguin in Houston

          Wyshitski

    • Randy

      Lockout proof to him, lockout prone to anyone else?

    • PensPointsYourMom

      oo oo, I just thought of this…the players frking hate escrow. You would too – your boss comes in your office and says, you paycheck should be X, but we’re only giving you 85% of X this week, we’ll settle up and the end of the year, depending on how much money we make off you during that time. I suspect signing bonues arent paid into escrow, and players want that too. Which is why Marleau’s salary is only 1.5 a year for 3 years, but his cap hit is 6.25.

      • Ungaba

        The point of escrow is to… cover the NHL’s collective ass if they don’t bring in as much loot as they thought they would during a given year, correct? I wonder what the stats are on that – do the players always get the money back?

        But your point is well made – more money being paid out that WON’T support this scheme thereby placing more financial pressures on the ones without these types of contracts. I guess.

        Hockey money is confusing.

        • PensPointsYourMom
          • PensPointsYourMom

            yes, thats the point. No they dont always get the money back, see link. in fact, if the NHL retained an average of 5% over the course of the McDavid contract, it would cost McDavid 5 mil in salary, that aint chump change. By structuring it this way I THINK he limits his exposure to all that, and instead of 100mil being subject to escrow, only 14 mil is. or 700k under the same 5% retention average.

          • Ungaba

            Upvoting the information. UGH. What a giant pain in the ass.

  • j-b0t

    Guys I have a really important question:

    Is there any way to get a Justin Schultz cardboard standee? And if not, how can we make this happen?

    • happyrobot

      Google shows a number of places that will do custom cardboard standees. Approximately $100 if you want the life sized one

      • j-b0t

        hmmm…wonder what resolution of photo they would need for it to look decent.

        • Broken Coach Vlad

          I would love to take one to Defcon and set it up at various parties..

          • Midnight Rider

            I would love to take one everywhere

          • j-b0t

            This is the correct answer.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Im trying to make it a Fathead

          • MoonStanley

            You beat me to it. It would be their highest seller ever

          • UlfSammySon

            HOV Lane here I come!

        • Randy

          Look at you bots working together. Awww. Resolution requirements depend on the viewer. If you are looking at it up close, you’d want at least 150DPI, but billboards for example are printed at closer to 36DPI

    • MoonStanley

      He really needs his own “fat head”

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Here’s the league-wide list of RFA’s who filed for arbitration:
    https://sports.yahoo.com/key-players-penguins-sabres-lightning-222047191.html?src=rss

  • MoonStanley

    Anyone going to 311 tonight?????

  • PensPointsYourMom
  • lauriruu
    • MoonStanley

      lol!

    • Andy PepPep

      The black socks are a great comedic touch.

      • lauriruu

        BOOO

    • UlfSammySon

      Just a little shower slap!

  • SouthSideGeno
    • MoonStanley

      YUP

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Craps signed Grubauer for 1.5 I’d love to know what kind of magic they worked, cause that seems like an underpay to me.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      They now need 6 players to get to a 23 man roster. The league minimum this year is 650k. They still have 2 players in their farm system making 612.5k and one making 625k. If they put those three guys on the roster, and 2 more at 650k, they can spend about 939k on the 6th player.

      tl;dr They can have 3 good lines and 2 good D pairs, but the depth in the caps org better be good because the role players are about to get fucky.

      • SouthSideGeno

        I’m predicting a frk-ton injury plague for them this season…they had like none last year

        • Andy PepPep

          They’re due

      • Jovi

        I wonder if they have some undiscovered talent on their farm team?

  • lauriruu
  • PenguinPelts

    How is Thomas Vanek still available?

    • PensPointsYourMom

      cause he sucks.

      • Jovi

        7 different NHL teams and he’s 33 yo.

        • Jovi

          I mean, if Florida doesn’t want you, that’s pretty telling.
          Sorry Jagr, I was talking about someone else.

          • PenguinPelts

            Almost got 20 goals again this year. Out of all the players NHL.com keeps highlighting as still available, he’s the best option.

  • SouthSideGeno
    • j-b0t

      Is that Kris Letang?

      • Ungaba

        That’s would essssplain some things

      • SouthSideGeno

        Cousin Che LeTang?

    • Penguin in Houston

      He looks like a drug csar.

    • Randy

      Hahaha!

  • PensPointsYourMom

    In case you were wondering, and you probably weren’t, Cullen wasn’t signed until August 17 last year.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    What about Mike Fisher for 2mil or less? Is he so tainted by his “under wood” that its a hard no? Or is he next year’s cullen. He made 4mil last year, and that’s not gonna work, but something cheap maybe, thoughts?

    • Ungaba

      Ah yes, the old “Cup Contenders From Last Year 3C Center Swap.” An oldie but a goodie.

      Also, no thanks. I think he is too slow.

      • Jovi

        Yeah, he was a non-factor in the playoffs, besides knocking out Neal.

  • Ungaba

    I finally got to see it. But I’m terribly non-photogenic. At least the Ung-spring don’t have that problem. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0de71635f2c769d25501a25925c5b17aab6416f3209297609c588b9d6dd34744.jpg

    • j-b0t

      Something something forbiddendaughterjoke beep bloop.

      • lauriruu

        I think Ung knew the risks of posting a picture of himself, his two girls and a cup.

        • Jovi

          If someone doesn’t Photoshop Shultz back there then we should just burn down the blog.

          • Jovi

            Oops, I didn’t scroll down enough.

        • Ungaba

          You made it icky… but yeah.

          • lauriruu

            I don’t know what you mean by this.

    • lauriruu
    • Jovi

      Where was the cup?

      • SouthSideGeno

        The two on the right are cute, assuming they’re taken… How much for the one on the left?

        • Ungaba

          For you… nothing.

          • SouthSideGeno

            BOING!

      • Ungaba

        It was in the arena. Event for season ticket holders – my friend gave me his passes.

        • Ungaba

          Got pics of all the trophies… went through the locker room… Fleury’s nameplate is still up over his stall. 🙁

          • Jovi

            That’s cool you got to go through the locker room.

        • SouthSideGeno

          Isn’t it amazing…it’s astronomically amazing that anyone is allowed touch it.
          Can’t do that with the big football bullet.

          #ITOUCHEDITINTORONO

          • Ungaba

            I wanted to spend time looking at all the names. It’s the coolest damn thing ever.

          • SouthSideGeno

            1000%

          • Jovi

            #ITOUCHEDITINATLANTA

    • HawtDoge

      You have excellent hair, that’s all that matters. Awesome you got to share that moment with your kids!

      • Ungaba

        I would have true hockey flow if I did it right. Is it a little gray? No. Because it’s a lot gray. But such is life.

        The kiddos are good sports. Neither are that huge into hockey, though I’ve taken each to games. But they knew how much it meant to me so they gamely tagged along. Good times!

        • HawtDoge

          Awesome man! My gray is starting to show up in force, hoping I get a Cruella DeVille style streaky-ness going on 😀

          • SouthSideGeno

            This makes me think “WE” should we have a contest of personal ‘HOCKEY related’ photo-postings on here so we all can laugh at each other’s faces and physiques?

            Wut dew yinz think?

          • HawtDoge

            I’m game… let me find something good…

          • SouthSideGeno

            I have one hauntingly familiar to UNG’s I have to find it first. I’ll post something more recent though too.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            hard no.

          • SouthSideGeno
          • Jovi

            UR dancing or chicken ?

          • Randy

            ‘AAAAARD YES.

      • Randy

        Doge ur still alive! I was worried you would finally succumb to ur fake depression. Phew.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    First Episode of Season 3…the streaming is slow but I’ll take what I can get.
    http://sockshare.net/watch/EdBbXldj-letterkenny-season-3.html

    • Ungaba

      Also awesome! Will give it a go later. Thanks!

  • Penguin in Houston
    • Jovi

      I laughed and now I feel shame.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    TOR is 4 mil over the cap. They’re gonna have to shed players. Currently they have 3 pure centers and 5 other guys who can play center. I’d look for them to move Bozak or Kadri. They should move Lupul but then they’d have a hole at LW. Im guessing Bozak moves to either Pens or Rags.

    • Ungaba

      Bozak and Phil had a bromance, once upon a time. Rekindle the flame???

      • Randy

        A lot of people were saying that recently. I thought nothing of it, but now that a lot of FA have already signed, including Bones, it doan look so bad.

    • Jovi

      You think they would give up Kadri!

    • Jovi

      I don’t think we do anything till right before camp. How are the rest of our RFA doing? Any word? You’ve become like our hockey-TMZ.

  • Penguin in Houston
  • Jovi

    Schultz is not impressed by the G20 Summit protest. He has been there and done it better. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fa27e86c13da23545f966856a68ac4d558eca5a33ba45fea36b4e65dc3f1335a.jpg

  • Jovi

    Evgeni is posting his previous great plays on twitter. That kid is soooooo ready for another season. Makes me excited.

    https://twitter.com/malkin71_/status/883102531676778496

    • Randy

      TING! When you’re so good you trick the cameramanperson.

    • Penguin in Houston

      He is the Spin-o-rama.

  • Randy

    From last year, but 87 reminds me of a dog chasing a stick. It’s not that he “works hard” it’s that he just wants it more than anyone else. Like there’s a biological instinct to keep it for himself and he prolly gets high af off a dopamine rush every time he embarrasses someone. Connor McWho?

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FqrMeXTuz7U

    • Penguin in Houston

      Nobody, but nobody does it better!

    • HawtDoge

      Cokhurt McNotsid?

  • Door_Matt

    Brendan B-B-B-B-Brendan Brrrrrrrrendan Brendddddddddddan BRENDAN.

    CAN WE PLEASE GET SOME SORT OF NSFW SPOILER? I DOAN WANNA GET FIRED LIKE JDOGG. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d2339c5e7d66e26c0f588c1a613944fcdbd4f19e6d76da7d20908cb6d76adf6a.jpg

  • Jovi
    • Midnight Rider

      Shit, the ESPYs are still a thing?

      • Andy PepPep

        Shit, ESPN’s still a thing?

        • Ungaba

          Prove it, I dare you. I haven’t watched ESPN in eons.

          • Andy PepPep

            If it weren’t for college football coverage….I wouldn’t either. Roll Tide.

          • SouthSideGeno

            I prefer Oxi Clean

    • SouthSideGeno

      Dun my doody

  • SouthSideGeno

    HEY UNG….

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8802cf43cca97fca76a2eb80cdd6fdca0c3588184e0a52849dcd0d6c72ebf04e.jpg

    Trono 2001…SSG and the best thing I’ve ever done in my life, standing next to the CUP

    • Jovi

      How is the hall of fame place? Worth a pilgrimage?

      • SouthSideGeno

        Mecca…priceless

        • Jovi

          i’ll start saving my pennies

    • Ungaba

      Fantastic. Did you have time to really look at it too?

      Also, is your kid now a professional surfer?

  • SouthSideGeno

    PSU Game @ Wells Fago Center 2016

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9d091dff0b7d91f0bfc16fb483f832a6aebb69192d11b12c3f4a749ac23460f2.jpg

    Some of us get better with age…me, not so much

    • Jovi

      Who let you on the ice? Are you about to be tased?

    • lauriruu

      What’s the story here? I know you weren’t streaking because you’re not in the nude.

      • SouthSideGeno

        No story…only magic!

        • lauriruu

          ARE YOU A WIZARD?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Jizard…it’s the same, butt different

      • Ungaba

        …yet. He’s not in the nude YET.

    • Randy

      “Despite all my rage im still just a rat in a cage”

      Doan know why I thought of that but I had a vision of Ung wearing his Che shirt and rocking out to the Smashed Pumpkins on his Sony discman.

      • Ungaba

        Aside from the shirt, I 100% did the rest of that stuff in the 90’s

        • Randy

          Why must you fill this blog with LIES? You had the shirt. Admit it.

          • Ungaba

            Some things I cannot do, sorry.

    • Ungaba

      You do, indeed, look demonstrably crazier than in that older pic, this is true.

      Also, fantastic. Did they have a ‘let the dinosaurs on the ice’ day or something?

  • Randy

    So has anyone came across any more nice pics of Burns and Thornton, you know, doing their thing?

    Asking for a friend.

  • lauriruu

    Bad, bad PiH!

  • Andy PepPep

    At some point soon Rutherford is going to do something big. I feel it in my bone.

  • HawtDoge

    “I ate his liver with some I.C. Light at a nice Primanti’s”

  • SouthSideGeno
    • Ungaba

      That’s the most attractive I’ve ever been in my life.

      • lauriruu

        “The dudes from ZZ Top are this old?”

    • Andy PepPep

      Nothing is coming from that image.

      • Ungaba

        That’s what YOU think. You can’t see behind the hands…

    • Randy

      FAAAAAAAAAAP

      • SouthSideGeno

        I did it for Jovi and PiH…our sekret hawkey blawg groupies

        Yer whale cum

        • Randy

          So much better than Tanger too.

          • Jovi

            Well lets not full drink that crazy juices but this is going on my wall, next to my Bill Gates picture.

      • lauriruu

        I’m sure Door_Matt will be fired over this.

  • HawtDoge

    Lets play a game… Which one is my mom, which is wife, which is sister, which is me?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f401b383c2107604af60640055b169004f56650040b27094cdaaaa35f5018f9d.jpg

  • Andy PepPep

    The Vegas gold chairs in the paint Can irk me now that the team is back to Pittsburgh gold.

    • Randy

      What chairs?

      • HawtDoge

        Seats in dah rena?

        • Andy PepPep

          Yeah, I clarified. Sorry for the ambiguity.

        • Randy

          Ok, but of all the shit that LVK has done to us and every other franchise and fan base over the last two years, I’d say the arena chairs are a fairly low rung on the hate ladder.

          • HawtDoge

            I think it’s just annoying that they’re that dusty vegas gold when they could have been dope Pittsburgh gold dah HOLE TIME!

          • HawtDoge

            “Hole Time” is also the name of my new golf and glory-hole themed chain restaurant FWIW

          • Ungaba

            Much better than ‘The 19th Hole’

          • Andy PepPep

            Your mom’s 5 hole.

          • SouthSideGeno

            I’m cumin to that

          • Randy

            I’d eat that there.

          • Andy PepPep

            It’s not the Vegas part, it’s the fact they don’t match.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Amen

    • SouthSideGeno

      I loathe VEGAS…I hope they never win a game.
      Sorry, not sorry Fleur

      • Jovi

        Say it isn’t so

    • Ungaba

      You mean the vegas gold chairs in PPG Paints arena? Huh. I didn’t really think about it. And I figure it doesn’t matter much since when the game is on they’re almost always filled so you don’t see them.

      Having said that, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if they re-upholstered them soon.

      • Andy PepPep

        I hope they do. It looks so stupid….
        They need to purge all things Vegas gold.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Its frking chaos in here this morning – low posting, high posting, off thread posting. I guess now I know the line between civilization and anarchy is exactly 3 ass pics and two selfies.

  • UlfSammySon

    Gosh I miss “watching” hockey with yinz.

    • lauriruu

      Maybe sum day actually watching?

      • UlfSammySon

        Get your Finn butt over here for a game this year. My treat, bud.

        • lauriruu

          That would be lovely… also very doable.

      • Randy

        Oh. Em. Gee. Roadtrip to see a LVK game and chear on MAF? Pretty please with a popped cherry on top? Count me in!

        • UlfSammySon

          Pens.hockey trip!!!

          • lauriruu

            LET’S GO

          • Randy

            Ahem. Wwww.pens.hockey trip.

          • UlfSammySon

            Me sowwy :/

        • lauriruu

          Is the Rat Pack still performing at Sands?

    • SouthSideGeno

      Yer the cute one on the left?

      • lauriruu

        Which left?

        • SouthSideGeno

          The other left

    • UlfSammySon

      Heyo, you’re in the middle!

      I’m actually in Erie right now. Won $50 at the casino last night.

      • I don’t miss living there at all but I DO miss going to Otters games! Really fun games

        • UlfSammySon

          My sister lives here so I drive up to hang out once in a while. Been to a couple Otter games and always enjoyed myself. Saw McJesus play a few years back. Amazing how much better he was than anyone else on the ice.

  • SouthSideGeno
  • SouthSideGeno
    • UlfSammySon

      Doh!!

    • Ungaba

      No doxxing for Bren!

  • PensPointsYourMom
  • SouthSideGeno
  • Ungaba

    OK, go read this. But make sure you’re not dicing onions like I was…

    https://twitter.com/KatieJStrang/status/883133943792492544

    • SouthSideGeno

      Man, my allergies are really bad today…sniff

  • The66thDopefish

    Just popping in to say:

    1.) I’m still alive
    2.) But I’m drowning in baby excretions
    3.) And also work

  • SouthSideGeno

    Is RAD studying for his Bar exam now?

  • lauriruu

    Frk yesss

  • Randy

    Aight, here’s the randman’s first time ever as ‘tendy. I like this guy a lot, but two things: a) he was wearing a Backstrom shirt (caps fan) 2) he said Pens were “lucky;” and d) likes “hockey plays.” So I had to channel my inner MAF, shut him out and rip his dik.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/82f06463fbb22aee577119beecfbbea37272a3d53967c84be473872467da4f2d.jpg

    • Randy

      Can anyone guess what type of rink we were playing on?

      • SouthSideGeno

        To me that surface looks like the crushed & ground souls of Philthy, Craps, Rags and BJ’s fans

        • Randy

          Incorrect. That would be crushed dreams. Crushed souls, although, dropping in price lately, aren’t quite budget friendly enough for the parks board.

          • Jovi

            looks like asphalt but that would be easy, so i’ll say its that weird crap they use to make running tracks.

          • Randy

            Hmm kommunikating is not my strong thingy. What *sport* is played on that surface?

          • Jovi

            is it a baseball field? the fence is pretty high

          • Randy

            The green monster? No, starts with the letter L

          • SouthSideGeno

            Lezbean field?

          • Jovi

            there are no bushes in the pic

          • lauriruu

            Street Le lacrosse

          • Randy

            Rue de Le tang. Here we take speaking Franch very seriously.

          • lauriruu

            Le football?

          • Randy

            Damnit it’s lacrosse!

          • lauriruu

            Oh, I thought you just wrote some gobbledygook there earlier.

          • Jovi

            i thought lacrosse is played on grass.

          • Randy

            Grass, turf, pavement, often in iceless hcokey rinks. I think there’s a distinction between indoor and outdoor. Kinda like indoor and outdoor soccer.

          • lauriruu

            Basketball?

          • Randy

            Nope

          • lauriruu

            Street fighting?

    • UlfSammySon

      Look at that form.

  • SouthSideGeno
  • Jovi

    hahahahahaa, that’s the SSG i know.

  • Midnight Rider

    PPYM – Juicy Jokes to EDM. One year, $1.1M.

    Can’t wait to see what GMJR has in the works.

    • Randy

      Doan maatta, we got the Bro-sack coming our way…

    • Ungaba

      I agree with you in theory. Rather have him on the cheap than have to jump through hoops for ‘some other dude’. But GMJR is still in the honeymoon phase, as far as I’m concerned. Perhaps his plans are bigger than we can imagine.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      BOOOO!!!!

      • Penguin in Houston

        #jagrwatch

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Be careful what you wish for, btw, ….Exhibit A Ryan Reaves, I rest my case.

      • Ungaba

        MR’s salt is spilling ALLLLLL over you, bro. It’s kinda icky.

        • Ungaba

          I think I speak for all defenders of the Reaves acquisition when I say to you:

          “All we are sayyyyyyyy-inggggggg… is give Reaves a chance!!!!!!!!”

          • PensPointsYourMom

            1. Booooo for the pun.
            2. I’m ok with Reaves, like not happy about it, but if GMJR feels the need to get a goon, he could have done worse. My issue is that I sat through the draft waiting for the pens to do something cool, and at the last minute they traded for goon. My comment was not a condemnation of Reaves, it was a response to MR’s “can’t wait to see what GMJR has in the works.” Cause if what’s in the works is more of the Reaves trade, I can most certainly wait.

          • Ungaba

            Agreed. I remember watching it and waiting and waiting and then we got into a deep and important family discussion because the draft was boring and then I catch that out of the corner of my eye but since it was an important conversation I had to pretend like I didn’t notice and I was internally just like, “DAYUM – WTF just happened??!??!?!?!” and I tried to keep that off my face but I still got some side eye and that made me even more upset at GMJR for waiting all day to drop that on us and then I had to wait until WAYYYY later that night to look because otherwise I would have been a jerk so I read some stuff and went through twitter debate and eventually decided that I really just didn’t care because we had just won the Cup again so… yeah.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I mean on some level we should be happy the pens are doing anything, because b2b cups pretty much entitles management to just gleefully fondle their own balls well into January. But I want a 3 peat, and I don’t see our chances at that improving thus far.

          • Ungaba

            Bonino and Kunitz are big, BIG losses. If Cullen is gone too, that’s a pretty significant kick in the ass. At least as things stand right now.

            But then remember that Sheary and Rust and Guentzel and Kuhnhackl and Wilson pretty much popped out of nowhere over the last two years. Sure, they aren’t as impactful (mostly) as the 3 above, but they did step into important roles, to varying degrees. Nothing says that can’t happen again.

            My logic, as of now, is ‘how will THIS team win the next Cup?’ I’m trying to stay on the positive side of things until I can no longer do that, even if I fully appreciate, and secretly share some of, your skepticism.

            EDIT: Comments like these are great examples of why I don’t write blog posts.

  • lauriruu
    • Jovi

      Are these nick names? No one names their kid Robin Big Snake unless they found the kid in a dumpster.

      • Penguin in Houston

        Could be natives of the tribal variety.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          lil rassis

          • Ungaba

            Isn’t he a rapper?

          • Penguin in Houston

            not

    • Ungaba

      Harry Dick. I mean, his parents knew exactly what they were doing. Not as bad as Ima Hogg, but still pretty bad.

      • SouthSideGeno

        Jack MaHoggoff?

      • SouthSideGeno

        Peter Gosinu?

      • SouthSideGeno

        Mary Rautenbaux?

      • SouthSideGeno

        Phil Mabungole?

  • j-b0t

    What the fuck is going on here?

  • Jovi
    • Jovi

      you think he would be used to it as an ex-Canadiens

    • SouthSideGeno

      would not play for me, won’t look it up, fuk Pernell and the catfish he rode in on

      • Jovi

        yeah, i have that problem sometime with TSN. I guess they hate America.

  • Jovi

    If Tocchet leaves:
    A) Does it hurt us (I would say no)
    B) Would we fill it from someone on the inside or out?

    • Ungaba

      Good questions.

      A) Hurt is too strong of a word, I think. Continuity is a nice thing, but change can also be good. And that leads me to:
      B) I think it will come from inside. Fatty Madden suggested Recchi, which seems like a natural choice to me as well. But I really have no idea who it will be. I don’t pay close attention to coaches.

      • Jovi

        I didn’t realize Recchi has been around in the organization.

        • Ungaba

          Yeah, has been for a while. He basically ran the prospects camp and is the one who invited Stevens to participate. Director of Player Development, I think – Guerin’s old role.

          • Jovi

            I was gonna recommend Tom but…

            On July 3, 2009, Tom Fitzgerald was then promoted within the Penguins organization to assistant general manager.[5] On July 24, 2015, Fitzgerald was named assistant general manager for the New Jersey Devils.[6]

          • Ungaba

            You see what happens when you move to Memphis? You lose all your brainb cells.

            2015, Jovi. 2015.

          • Jovi

            Hey! This is news to me; no one asked me if this was ok.

        • Penguin in Houston

          HoFer Recchi now. My signed puck goes up in value, hopefully.

  • Ungaba
    • Jovi

      HAHAHAHAHAAHAH

    • ItsAJagBaby

      Little girl, yes, very cute. Model with the gap is blasphemy!

  • Ungaba
  • I miss Rad

  • PensPointsYourMom

    So…there’s no way to say this and not sound like a dick, but I’m tired of Elliotte Freidman’s autistic kid.

  • SouthSideGeno
    • Jovi

      Artist gold!

  • Jovi
    • PensPointsYourMom

      It doesn’t appear we did.

  • I want to FORMALLY APOLOGIZE for not having a comic up today, real life got way too busy

    • PensPointsYourMom

      you dik! NSFW

      • Midnight Rider

        NSFWWWW

  • PensPointsYourMom

    This is interesting:

    http://www.thehockeynews.com/news/article/which-teams-have-gotten-better-and-worse-during-the-off-season-so-far

    tl;dr – CAR, MIN and ARZ have gotten statistcally better as result deals made in the off season, MIN, PIT and WSH got worse. The biggest loser is WSH…fap fap fap.

    • Midnight Rider

      GMJR, get yer head outta that bag of Werther’s and make some moves.

      Great to see the Reaves addition is actually subtraction too. Dom must have added the increased production from Sid, Geno, and Phil now that they are protected by Reaves.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        I agree, the pens have to replace the the lost talent. Kunitz esp. But the caps fans over at RMAB aren’t taking it well, and that’s fun.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          Also worth noting that if that metric held vs last years point totals, ARZ, DAL and CAR would all still miss the playoffs, and PIT, WSH and MIN would all still be in (different seeding tho).

        • Midnight Rider

          Bones too.

          • Midnight Rider

            I just binge-watched Quest for the Cup, and it was sad seeing him and his daughter in the 412 shirts.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I liked Bones, and he brought certain defensive skills that may be hard to replace with just one player, but I’m not sure he was “special” or a “star.”

          • Midnight Rider

            He scored some timely goals in both Cup runs. And he is infinitely better than the Pens’ current options for a 3C (mainly because there are no options).

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Agree, I am starting to worry that there are just no good options left for the pens.

          • Midnight Rider

            Welcome aboard. I’ve been there for a few weeks.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Juice was my last best hope, though even that option is pretty thin. It’ll have to come by trade I guess. I wonder what Nashville would take for Bonino.

          • Midnight Rider

            Haha wouldn’t that be something? Duchene is a possibility I suppose (as long as COL retains a little salary). People are floating Bozak too, but I’m not a fan of that because 1. stats; 2. he’s getting $4.2M next year (and TOR won’t retain anything now that they’re in “win now” mode); and 3. injury history.

          • Midnight Rider

            And even though a trade is inevitable, what do the Pens have left to trade? Depth is thinning out real quick.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            As much as LOVE Duchene for fun factor…can’t even imagine the damage he would do on a third line…pens need a defensive center who can block shots and win faceoffs. Offensive output is less important to me.

            I don’t really know much about Bozak and haven’t dug too deeply into the stats.

          • Midnight Rider

            If there’s a way to get Duchene with the Avs retaining around $2M, I’d think about it, depending which prospects the Avs want.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Maatta and Sprong?

          • Midnight Rider

            If the Avs retain $2M, I’d do it. Duchene is signed through 2018-19.

          • Midnight Rider

            Gotta get some wingers too. Hemsky and Yakupov signed cheap. I’m just wondering where GMJR was.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            fondling his balls and staring at the cup? Crossing Bottrill off the letterhead? I’m disappointed too, but clearly the pens are in no rush to replace what’s been lost. I guess they figure they don’t have to be.

          • Midnight Rider

            Let Kuni go too for cheap. I’m hoping there’s some long con in the works or something.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            My guess is they’re looking at their roster, and all these young players who they’re gonna have to pay in the next few years, and trying not to over-commit to current players. Cole, Rust, Wilson, Knuckles, Horny, Rowney and Reaves will all be up next year. Not saying its gonna take a ton of money to bring back Wilson, Knuckles Reaves or Rowney – or let them walk.

          • Midnight Rider

            That’s a good point. At this point, some of those guys are gonna have to step up.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Man there are just no suitable 3Cs out there. Soderberg from Col is too expensive for too long. The Flyers picked up Lehtera. Then there’s just a whole bunch of guys you’re never gonna get, like Silverberg.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Also why does Brandon Sutter make more than Nick Bonino? Srsly? Good work Vancouver.

  • Broken Coach Vlad

    If only there was a league that would allow skill to actually, well shine.. https://www.hockeyfeed.com/videos/college-standout-shows-off-some-filthy-moves-in-development-camp?ref=jo

    • Midnight Rider

      Pretty much errey league except Chel.

      • Midnight Rider

        Foo is a great hockey name too

        • Broken Coach Vlad

          If he played here, the Foooooooo chants from back in the day at Steeler games would return…

  • SouthSideGeno

    HEY BITCHES…Happy Sarradee! ; )

    I still need all yinz who didn’t yet, to put up hockey related pix of yer “real self “….so that I can IMMORTALIZE (make fun of) yinz by putting yer faces into compromising gif.shops.
    You know you want it.

    KAMON…DO IT…there’s nuthin else to do around here.

  • PensPointsYourMom

    1. At least 8 got a ring this year.
    2. That’s fuckin’ 10 ply bud. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6370d56af907a540c20878500fc9d6c23d921c7f72c2fc6021e51445619bf0d1.png

  • PensPointsYourMom
  • Broken Coach Vlad

    Neanderthal’s are probably hung like a horse… I bet she loves tramp stamps!

  • lauriruu
  • Penguin in Houston
    • PensPointsYourMom

      Trashville or Slashville please. And yes, they are whiny pissbabies.

    • j-b0t

      I didn’t realize “smashville” was alluding to THAT kind of smashing.

  • lauriruu
    • PensPointsYourMom

      lol…#ladyfarts. What’s there to talk about?

      • lauriruu

        Hmmm… Jussi Jokinen felt his best chance at winning the Cup was Oilers.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          Or they were the first/only to call.

    • SouthSideGeno

      AH HA! I always KNEW that gurls really do…

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Wow. The Oilers are a team on the rise I guess. But Bones also said NSH was his first choice. I feel like some of that is hype.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      I’ve got a list of potential 3C’s, which I tried to make based on 1. cost 2. cost to acquire (Tomas Hertl is out there sure, but we’d have to give up too much to get him). I’ve got…
      Paul Byron, Brock Nelson, Melker Karlson, long shot E. Staal. They all have drawbacks, but the options at this point are pretty thin.

      • Rad88

        Brock Nelson wins on name alone

        • PensPointsYourMom

          hey Rad…how you be? Are you packing?

          • Rad88

            no I still don’t know where I’m going. I get my scores next week. Been working on a research paper and then my fiancees grandmother had a stroke so yeah, lots of fun stuff

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Well, since you’re not doing anything…wanna anchor the Pens third line?

          • Rad88

            Would love to, but I was always a right winger. Pretty sure I was 1/1000 on face-offs in my “career”

          • SouthSideGeno

            Jeebus…hope she recovers

  • lauriruu
    • Rad88

      Should be a league wide rule that both Aho’s are number 69

    • Penguin in Houston

      Fitting that the Isles have an Aho.

  • Rad88

    Finally finished season two of Letterkenny… has anyone tried bouncing their IP to a Canadian address to order Crave?

    • PensPointsYourMom

      no. I found Season 3 on sockshare, it now appears to be taken down. I watched all but the last episode (I was saving it). Its out there on the internet tho. The reddit folks seem to think that Canadian CC is required to order it from Crave. Don’t know if that’s true or not… CraveTV is just a bunch of de-gens from up-country.

      • Rad88

        Damn Canadians

        • PensPointsYourMom

          you might find some live links on series-top.com…the vidto mirror appears to still be live.

  • lauriruu

    Sooo… if one would travel to Pittsburgh, how easy would it be to get there from New York? Flights are so much cheaper (~half) between Helsinki and NY than Helsinki and Pittsburgh. Also, the travel time would drop considerably (~half) and I wouldn’t have to change planes more than once. Or would it be smarter to fly to another city instead of NY? What do yinz think? TY.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      is it just a layover, or are you going to spend time in NY?

      • lauriruu

        Layover. I don’t have any plans other than seeing Pens play soooo. For now.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          I’d look at Baltimore (BWI), Washington DC (IAD – Dulles)(RCA – Reagan) and Boston too. Taking a train or bus from NYC will be a total pain in the ass since you’ll probably have to go downtown to get it. Same with Dulles and BWI. But you can check on the MegaBus too, its cheap, and the drop off in PIT is a pretty good location for a hockey game, but like I said, it will be a total beotch to catch in NYC. Philly is not a bad idea either since its a USAir hub. BWI is a southwest hub, and southwest doesn’t advertise its fares on the big travel search engines.

          • lauriruu

            27$ from WAS to Pittsburgh on Megabus. Not bad.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Just be careful with WAS. Reagan is really close to downtown, metro (subway) stop right at the airport, probably only 20 minutes to Union Station off-peak. Dulles is 30 miles west of the city. You can get downtown from Dulles, but it will require a bus to the metro (they’re in the process of extending the metro right now) the a long metro ride into downtown, probably takes an hour and half, minimum from Dulles to Union Station.

          • lauriruu

            Boo. Frkers. Lots of things to figure out. HOAH.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Greyhound runs bus service too, but I’d buy a knife if I was planning to ride the dog.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Its not terrible getting downtown from Dulles, just be aware that its not very efficient, especially at morning rush hour.
            http://www.flydulles.com/iad/silver-line-express-bus-metrorail-station
            https://www.wmata.com/

            totally unrelated but I frked up once and booked a flight out of Dulles, but didnt realize the return was into Reagan, so my car was in a different state from where my plane landed. Im sensitive about the difference now.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Ok one more thought. I don’t know what flights into BWI cost, but Amtrak runs a shuttle (MARC train) from BWI directly to Union Station in DC. Its probably not much quicker than coming into downtown DC from Dulles, but it might be a little easier.

          • lauriruu

            Cheapest go for 500€ with two stops.

          • UlfSammySon

            We’ll get you here. I’ll drive to NYC to pick you up if I have to, bud.

            My friend who just flew your way took a flight from Pittsburgh to Iceland and then a flight from there to Helsinki. I think it was pretty reasonable.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Icelandair does some pretty reasonable trans-atlantic trips.

          • UlfSammySon

            I just saw WOW air does round trip flights to Reykjavik for like $450. It costs that much to fly to Toronto from Pittsburgh. Gonna be hard to not plan a trip to Iceland now.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            My gf and I have tried to plan an iceland trip every year for 3 or 4 years. I really want to go, I can just never find the time. Some of the Iceland based airlines also let you stay in Iceland for up to a week as a layover on the way to Europe. Its kind of a bitch though, cause it has super long days in summer, and very short days in winter.

          • UlfSammySon

            Well, no time like the present to plan that trip. Just go ready to party and take full advantage of those super long summer days.

            Plus WOW has pink planes! Whhheeeeeeeee!

          • PensPointsYourMom

            nah, I want to go in the late fall and get a crack at seeing the northern lights.

          • UlfSammySon

            Good call. Fall is the best time of year for most things/places.

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            i was going to say the same thing, lol

    • Midnight Rider

      How much more expensive? You could catch a bus or train (Amtrak) to Pittsburgh. Train is faster. Bus would probably take 8-10 hours. Train around 8.

      • Midnight Rider

        Also, train is way more expensive than a bus.

      • lauriruu

        Cheapest flights to Pittsburgh were around 600€ and the flight times were ridiculous; from 20 hours to 52. To NY 350€ in 9 to 15 hours.

        • Midnight Rider

          That’s a huge time difference! I can see why you’re looking at NYC. How about Washington DC?

          • lauriruu

            I’ll check it out

          • Midnight Rider

            I took a Megabus from Philly to Pittsburgh once (for TBL playoff game). Took around 8 hours, IIFC. Add another 2-3 on for coming from NYC.

          • lauriruu

            DC is a bit more expensive and time consuming, also closer (than NY).

      • Broken Coach Vlad

        train is 9 hours, but takes you from midtown. so you could stay a day or 2 in the city then take a train from NYC to PGH. As a tourist, it would be a nice way to see parts of the country. I have taken the train out of NYC Penn to a parking lot in jersey I park at, about a 45 minute ride.. once you are about 45 min out of NYC you stop seeing the dirt pit part of New Jersey and get into some nicer country…

    • happyrobot

      Maybe try Philadelphia or Columbus. Both are closer than ny. You can take a train from philadelphia or new York. Not sure about Columbus.

      • happyrobot

        Or Washington DC

        • Midnight Rider

          Was just about to say DC. It’s the only other Major City closer to Pittsburgh than NYC.

    • Penguin in Houston

      You could fly into Newark and rent a car.

      • lauriruu

        Renting a car would be cheap though… I don’t even know if am I allowed to drive there.

        Edit. Oh, I just need to get the International Driving Permit.

  • Penguin in Houston

    Fly to Houston, I’ll pick you up and then, we can do a USA tour to the Burgh. Lol

  • Penguin in Houston
    • lauriruu

      Sheary?

    • Door_Matt

      Better question is: Did they use The Jackal’s shorts to keep score?

  • Broken Coach Vlad

    NYC is not a bad flight to Pgh, I have done it several times. When Jetblue had a flight to nyc and back, it was much cheaper. they pulled out like a high schooler and the prices went up a lot.

  • lauriruu
    • PensPointsYourMom

      I find that deeply troubling.

    • Door_Matt

      Did Living Colour play Ovie’s wedding?

  • PensPointsYourMom

    The Red Wings have less than 2.5 in cap space, how did that happen? Sucks to suck Detroit.

    • lauriruu

      Maybe they don’t take performance or success into account when signing contracts.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Mike Green says, “thank goodness for that.”

  • UlfSammySon

    Any idea when you are shooting to get stateside? Obviously during hockey season…

    • lauriruu

      I was thinking of the last two weeks of November. But I could go whenever really.

      • UlfSammySon

        I guess fall or spring would be best. Traveling in the winter sucks.

        • lauriruu

          Oct. 28th the Jets come for a visit.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            26th I think.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I don’t go to a ton of games. But I like games where the pens have a good chance of winning. I’d shoot for Van on Nov. 22. Having said that, rivalry games and weekend games are way more lively from a crowd/venue point of view. If you want a PPG experience, I’d shoot for NSH on Oct. 7 or Flyers on Nov. 27. Terrible time to travel for the 27th. The Buf game on Dec. 2 will probably be lively too, a fair number of Buf fans come down for the games.

          • lauriruu

            I think if I were to book the trip some time soon, the price wouldn’t be any higher.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            That’s just a busy busy time to fly, you’ll be fine going back, but coming in forces you travel Thanksgiving weekend. The holiday is the 23rd this year (which is a great day to travel) but the two days before and after will be mayhem, Wed. 22 and Sun 26 esp.

          • lauriruu

            Flyers game would be perfect obviously

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Watch out for Thanksgiving…nightmare travel and prices shoot up.

        • lauriruu

          Oh yeah, that’s then. Ty

  • PensPointsYourMom

    I don’t want you to come all that way with mixed up dates. 🙂

  • lauriruu
    • MoonStanley

      hehehe

  • PensPointsYourMom

    We werkbloggin’ today or what?
    Wilson says Faksa is the center we need:
    http://www.hockeybuzz.com/blog.php?blogger_id=177

    Faksa (hehe) ticks all the boxes, (kills penalties, some offense, on a team with an abundance of centers) but he’s young and an RFA. He’s only played 1.5 seasons in the NHL, but he’s been productive. I don’t think he’ll command a pile of money at arbitration, or before, but without knowing what he’ll cost its hard to get behind this recommendation.

    MM wrote an article saying Sheary is the pens most tradeable winger. He thinks Hags, Reaves, Wilson, Knuckles,etc won’t bring much, and that Kessel and Jake are untouchable. Basically leaving Horny and Sheary, and Sheary would be the smaller loss to the team. I might agree with that. I doubt many teams would choose Sheary over Horny, but who knows.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Also a piece by THW on Hunwick vs Pouliot. Probably not gonna blow your mind, but I do have some confidence that the Pens blue line is pretty set.

      http://thehockeywriters.com/pittsburgh-penguins-blue-line-hunwick-pouliot/

    • SouthSideGeno

      REAL WORK IS FUKIN KILLING ME….ARRRRRGHGHHHHHHHHHH

      NEED. WIN. LOTTERY. RETIRE. TO. HOOKER. FARM.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        hooker farms are over rated. My whole crop got wiped out by a herbes blight last year.

        • SouthSideGeno

          COKE. FARM. SAFE?

          • HawtDoge

            THERE’S ALWAYS MONEY IN THE BANANA STAND!

      • MoonStanley

        Visit me in TN after this week!

    • Ungaba

      Working for real today. But I trust you all to get us our center.

      Finnish Larry – PPYM is your trip planner. Flights to Pittsburgh suck right now because they’ve got us over a barrel. I am currently paying $430 MINIMUM for the 47 minute flight from PIT to PHL and back. It’s disgusting, but that’s American Airlines for you.

      Trains across the state are fun… if you don’t mind them sucking and taking 10 frking hours of your life for some meh scenery (at least this time of year).

      Either way, give us plenty of notice and we will be there for you!

      • MoonStanley

        Just drove WV 48 yesterday… fucking gorgeous! Easily one of my favorite highways.

        • PensPointsYourMom

          Yeah, that’s a nice road.

      • xpensfanSC

        flying out of a hub, vs. flying like allentown to pit connecting in a hub is always more dollars. here in CLT, i tell my friends to fly out of GSO and connect somewhere. Perks of living in a hub city. BARF.

    • Rad88

      Shearys trade value may actually decrease once arbitration is done. If we are all weary about him being worth more than 2 million a year most GMs probably would be too. Sheary at 3 yr/2mil is easier for a GM to risk than Sheary at 3.5+/any year

      • PensPointsYourMom

        agree, I was actually thinking last night about a trade that would be rights to Faska for rights to Sheary, I figure that Faska’s price tag, even in arbitration, will be liveable, but Sheary may get a wheelbarrow full of money.

  • Ungaba

    That last part is important – if you give me dates ahead of time I can get something done, I’m 100% sure about that.

    Drinks and company would just be the icing on the cake!

    • lauriruu

      Okay. I’ll come up with a travel plan asap.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        I looked at it again, what US airport is the cheapest from Helsinki?

        • lauriruu

          JFK

          • PensPointsYourMom

            If I wanted the cheapest solution, I’d fly into JFK and then take the bus and subway into Manhattan and take the megabus to Pit provided 1. Its not at rush hour and 2. there’s not a cheapo flight from JFK to Pit. and 3. I had the time.

          • lauriruu

            All the flights I was able to find (from NYC to PIT) took off from some other airport.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Looks like Delta flies nonstop JFK to PIT, but its not cheap. Transferring from JFK to Laguardia would be kinda of a pain, but doable. JFK to Newark would be a total pain.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            You could go JetBlue out of JFK to PIT, but you’d have to lay over in Boston. The best non-stop JFK to PIT I can find is about 400 bucks.

          • SouthSideGeno

            What would be perfect would be if there was someone who lived in Philly who could pick you up at the airport, let you stay at their house for free and then drive together to PGH to go to the game together. Then come back the next day.

            IF there were only someone we knew who was able and WILLING to do that, hmmmmmmm?

          • lauriruu

            HMMMMM!!!!!

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Shhh….you’re gonna mess up my travel agent cosplay.

          • lauriruu

            How does yinz November look?

          • lauriruu
          • PensPointsYourMom

            Been thinking about that. I the game on the 22nd will be like a Friday night game, so people will get shitfaced, which is more fun. Plus Vancouver, lol.

          • Rad88

            Thats a great point. The 22nd should be a fun game, minus the 3 day break and the players probably wishing they were off that night. Maybe I will try to plan on this game too

          • SouthSideGeno

            Chicago on the 18th could work. Leave on Friday, return on Sunday.

            A weekday game would be almost impossible for me and TB on the 25th would make Thanksgiving all fucky.

          • Rad88

            Thanksgiving, traditionally speaking, is supposed to be all fucky

          • SouthSideGeno

            haha, yuh…I just mean, we usually either have a house full of family shitting all over us for days or go to another family member’s house and shit all over it.

          • Rad88

            that sounds more like it

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Yeah, if some one’s not coming from out of town to throw a wrench into it, you’re not doing it right.

          • lauriruu

            Chicago would be pretty nice.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            you could behold the wonders of Toews god-like leaderships….Pens record against the Hawks in the regular season is dog shit tho.

          • Rad88

            True. Though if you are spending the money to fly here and see a NHL game I would definitely go for the most star power in one game. Shame there isn’t an Edmonton game at home near the holidays

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I take the totally opposite tact. I want the Pens to win, so I choose games that are against dog shit teams, which usually works, except two years ago when the Flames won like 6-2 with Jagoff Ortio in net.

          • SouthSideGeno

            I’ma need specific dates and I would also need to get permission from the OWNER of my house (wife) …aside from the obvious need of a ticket to the game and we’d need to make a hotel reservation in PGH….not going to try to drive there and back in one day.

            Maybe someone would be willing to put us up overnight in PGH????

            The only other issue would be the weather conditions…I drive a Mustang and it’s not great in the snow. So if we’re driving in November we should be ok but ya never know. I suppose we could always rent a car to drive to PGH.

            Let’s work on the actual dates for travel and game first…then I can work on getting permission from my “Boss”

          • PensPointsYourMom

            I know, I have to ask your mom before I make plans too.

          • HawtDoge

            Drive the stang to H-burg and trade me for my RAV4 for the weekend? 😀

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Somebody invite him for Thanksgiving. There is no more American thing to do than get all zonked from gluten and triptophan and half pass out on the couch while the Bills get violated in high definition.

          • lauriruu

            Hahaa! I spent one Christmas with my mate’s family in England… and boy was it a rough week. Took me another week to shake it off.

  • HawtDoge

    @lauriruu:disqus just throwing this out there, if you could possibly take the train from NYC to Harrisburg PA (it’s about 4hrs) You’d be more than welcome to spend a night at my place, and then I could drive you out to the burg or some combination of all that stuff. It might not make any sense, but just wanted to put that on the table if it might help. I’m about 3-3.5hrs from the burgh depending on traffic and whatnot. Best of luck with all your plans!!!

  • Would it be cool if I made a new lazy post just saying “hi” or something so we have a new thing to comment on?

    • Rad88

      No. We want content

      • Then get writing

        • Rad88

          I only get paid for gamedays and recaps

          • SouthSideGeno

            YOU GET PAID?

            Brendan has been telling me I have to pay him : (

          • Rad88

            That explains why the money I get from him has a white powder on it

          • SouthSideGeno

            …and pubic hairs

          • PensPointsYourMom

            you shouldn’t snort boner pills Geno.

          • SouthSideGeno

            #howIenlargemybraimb

      • SouthSideGeno

        Porn?

    • HawtDoge

      Just repost that frozen pic of Rinne 😀

    • PensPointsYourMom

      “we?” That comment is too small, I can’t read it. Where’s the branding? Where’s the WWW? This place is transphobic.

      • HawtDoge

        AND A FURIOUS COMBO FROM PPYM!!!

  • PensPointsYourMom
    • HawtDoge

      I would wear this… #POLOTICKS

    • SouthSideGeno

      HAHA! I want this…but not in stoopid fuken RED

  • PensPointsYourMom
    • SouthSideGeno

      White Russians for the kiddiez!!!

      • PensPointsYourMom

        #letmeputmybovinegrowthhormoneinyou

  • oi mates wegot a new post up

    http://pens.hockey/the-pittsburgh-penguins/