Sheary Signed

The Pens have avoided an arbitration hearing and signed Sheary to a 3 year, 9 million dollar contract, with an AAV of 3 million.  That’s a decent price based on production, albeit a strain on the pens current cap situation.

The pens now have 22 players under contract with 3,280,000.00 in cap space, and no third line center.

Sheary will be a UFA at the end of his three year deal.

 

 

  • SouthSideGeno
  • SouthSideGeno

    Sheary ‘Scissors’ Hannys?

    • PensPointsYourMom

      In case you need your bush trimmed…

      • Rad88

        Love that gif, and I love that it works on Twitter. I didn’t know gigs in the post would work like that. Super cool, rad even, if I may

        • PensPointsYourMom

          I can assure you twitter functionality was not by design, I basically just push buttons until shit works, I have no regard for intended or unintended consequences.

          • Rad88

            I guess it’s just a snip of the actual post so if it’s a gif it will work. That’s good to know… might start using SSG gifs at the top of game days to draw more attention

          • PensPointsYourMom

            like how Ung’s mom shaves a lightning bolt into her pubic hair?

          • SouthSideGeno

            I’ll start working on a ‘my junk’ gif right away….that will get some tention ; )

  • lauriruu
  • Rad88

    3.2 for a 3C… or Hagelin, a conditional pick and a kuhnhackl for Duchene?

    • PensPointsYourMom

      COL needs D, they only have 4 NHL D under contract. They might take Hags and Maatta, but if they give up Duchene, an NHL ready D will be in the package.

      • Rad88

        Hags and Hunwick… done deal miahahaha

        • PensPointsYourMom

          Where do “we” sign up for that.

          • Rad88

            I just don’t know if they deal Maatta without a suitable looking replacement… frken Pouliot

          • PensPointsYourMom

            With Will Butcher in play, Pouliot is 1000% expendable. It will take a couple weeks to get that done, but read what Butcher’s agent said about the pens…about half way down here: http://www.hockeybuzz.com/blog.php?post_id=86681

  • SouthSideGeno
  • Broken Coach Vlad

    I figured it would be 3 to 3.5 per for 4.. 3 per for 3 means he is here 2 years and if we are still making a run and he is playing well, they will resign him. If the team goes dumpster, he is trade bait after 2.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      what the pens saved on sheary evens up the slight over-pay on Dumo. All in all, very successful re-signing of Schultz, Dumo and Sheary. Three good players for just over 12.5 mil.

      • Broken Coach Vlad

        yup, pretty solid, everyone got paid and the team is on decent footing.. everyone acts like we need a 3rd line center right this second. we will win enough games without one for awhile and he will find us one in a trade, probably for pouliout.

  • Door_Matt

    That’s just enough cap room to sign Jagr and one more center.

    • Rad88

      Isn’t Jagr looking for north of 3.5?

      • Door_Matt

        His last contract was $4M with $1.15M in potential bonuses. He’s obviously getting no calls at that level. So throw him a $2M contract with a decent bonus structure, there’s lots of leeway with 35+ contract bonus clauses.

        • Rad88

          It makes sense to us as outsiders, I’m just not sure it does to him haha. I’m surprised a GM hasn’t offered him 2 mil with performance bonuses totaling over 5, screw it it’s just bonuses

          • Door_Matt
          • Rad88

            I would make the realistic bonuses (games played, points, etc) to equal out to 4 million. I would make more lofty goals (30 goal season) and stuff another million. His chances of hitting it are super low but a million dollars would tempt

          • Door_Matt

            We all know how much Jagr likes money. I wonder if he conquered that gambling habit?

          • Andy PepPep

            I bet he hasn’t.

    • PensPointsYourMom
      • Door_Matt

        I will keep beating this dead horse until it disintegrates (until he signs somewhere).

  • PensPointsYourMom
  • j-b0t

    I like Sheary. He’s the perfect type of player for Crosby. It’s a little bit high money wise, but arbitration most likely would have awarded about the same number so it makes sense. Keep the band together.

    • Rad88

      Agree. My disagreement with the price was due to his stats only being with Sid, but if it isn’t broke… with comparable statistics 3 is a steal, and short term is pretty solid too. 3 years to prove you’re worth 5 million, go show us

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Disagree its “high money wise.” Agree about keeping the band together.

        Here’s a preview of Sheary’s arbitration case: 23G 30A, 53 pts; +24. Among left wingers in the NHL, those stats are good for 20th in goals, 19th in assists, 15th in points and 2nd!! in +/-.

        The other four LW with 53 pts and their cap hits are as follows:
        Kreider (4.65), Saad (6), Drouin (894k – just re-signed for 6) and T. Hall (6).

        The other 4 LW with 23G were: Ladd (5.5), Lucic (6), Nash (7.8) and Neal (5).

        Oh yeah, and he only played 61 games. Less than all of the aforementioned players. Sheary’s could have asked for 5+ in arbitration, and I think he would have gotten it. That doesn’t even touch the advance stats, which are off the charts.

        Despite being in the top 20 of LW in every offensive category, his 3 mil cap hit is 48th in the league for that position.

        I’m not all that hot on Sheary for a number of reasons, not upset about signing him for 3mil either, but from a pure arbitration perspective, I think its safe to say the pens got a helluva deal, his award would have been MUCH higher.

        • Rad88

          I agree completely. They got a steal at 3 million by avoiding arbitration, i just meant that I don’t think he’s worth that yet regardless of stats. But 3 years at 3 mil for sheary is a hell of a lot better than 3 yrs at 3.8 mil for a 34 year old Kunitz and Dupuis so I’ll take it

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Yeah. I’m not saying he’s worth more, or even three. Just that he would have crushed arbitration like we crush Ung’s mom’s puss.

          • Randy

            Ung’s mom’s truck nut puss crush? That’s called ASSonance, for those less ejumacated.

            Also looks like a ‘tongue twister.’

          • Door_Matt
          • Randy

            ?? Truck nuts are the preferred method of administering greater testicular mass ’round deez parts.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            yeah, tying a water balloon around them swerves a little too close to cattle castration for me.

          • Randy

            It’s all Kessel’s fault. Now the whole ‘team’ is insecure. Btw, does a water balloon pose more risk than a regular balloon?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            well, not from a castration perspective, but if you need that mass, you’re gonna need that water.

          • Randy

            Ahh ok. I thought you meant increasing mass tightening blood vessels. #embarrassed

          • PensPointsYourMom

            #TesticleProstheticPhysiology

          • Randy

            You teach me so much.

          • Ungaba

            When did ‘puss’ become a thing? I find it more off-putting than ‘pussy’, honestly. It just sounds… icky.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            its meant to sound icky, and bro-ey

          • Ungaba

            Mission accomplished!

  • lauriruu

    In case you miss hawkey.. or Paul:
    https://youtu.be/Rb2p0xwklg0

    • Broken Coach Vlad

      fuck Paul

  • SouthSideGeno

    Took my weiner out in Bethleham PA…
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d79ca290a293a56a75a5ab5773745b04b782cc11b3ef0188476350f5eeee0c2a.jpg

    …erreybody who saw it said it was sweet and lot’s of people petted it ; )

  • PensPointsYourMom

    Wild re-sign NeedleRider for 5 years, 5.25 mil. per. I suspect they’ll be in cap trouble sooner rather than later.

  • I love that Sheary gif so much. Also super cool that I’m actually getting Pens news here before anywhere else lol

  • Jovi

    4th line center is still suspect too.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      I’m having dreams of Cullen’s return.

      • Jovi

        what’s with the avatar change? who dis?

        • PensPointsYourMom

          Moonie says I’m “Mr. Fantastic” from “Fallout: New Vegas” some video game I think. I’m indulging his whim for a little while.

          • Jovi

            Moonie also spends his time in a tree eating “herbal remedies”, so try not to let this go too far.

      • Penguin in Houston

        If Jagr can still play, so can Cullen.

        • Ungaba

          Agreed, but 1) does he want to, 2) does he want to hang with the Pens or 3) does he want to try out Minnesota?

          • Rad88

            Unless the “home” factor is heavy, it would be tough for me if I were him to go to Minnesota. Though they do have 10 mil in space so maybe they can make some big moves down the stretch

          • PensPointsYourMom

            They still havent signed Granlund or Foligno, they made a total of 5.25 last year and are probably both due raises. Even after they sign those 2, they’ll only have a 20 player roster, and four NHL centers. Not saying they wouldn’t sign Cullen, just saying they are going to cap trouble soon.

          • Penguin in Houston

            He wants a third straight. He’s gonna stay another year.
            Positivity Blog

    • Door_Matt

      4th line center just needs to be sound defensively and drive some possession. Not looking for the Real Pittsburgh Dad reincarnated…

  • Broken Coach Vlad
  • Andy PepPep

    I can’t help but think that if Sheary had a Guentzel-like playoff run this year, he would have priced himself right out of Pittsburgh.

  • Rad88

    Just messing around on capfriednly, 9 of LVGs 12 defenders are on expiring contracts after this season. Only 3 of those 9 are UFAs. What a mess that will be

    • j-b0t

      George McPhee ladies and gentlemen.

      • lauriruu

        #TankingfromDay1

        • Ungaba

          Literally. Too funny.

    • Andy PepPep

      In all fairness, most of the players offered were guys that teams didn’t have signed long term for a reason. Typically nobody is going to protect the player on a 1 year contract and expose the guy you signed a 4 year deal with.

  • lauriruu
    • SouthSideGeno

      …and ONLY 22 years old. He’ll have his third in less than a year…amazebalz!

    • Penguin in Houston

      He’s starting to mature in the face. High Finn!

  • lauriruu
  • PenguinPelts

    Not sure how I feel about $3 million a year, but then again it’s not my money.

    Maybe they’re going to go the route of see who in the system can fill the 3C for the first 9-11 games before making a decision. Looking at the UFA Center list, what do people think of Ryan White? 51% on faceoffs in his career, hard worker, not a lot of points, but he is also one of the younger players worth noting and with considerable NHL experience.

    • Ungaba

      Good stats down below on him, even if I tend to agree with you on the sticker shock. He’s one of those guys who does very well with Sid but you wonder if he does as well in another place.

      But yeah, band together and all, wheee!

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Ryan White is ok, I’m not sure I’d rather have him than Rowney. He’s not that impressive.

        I agree that I think there’s a good chance the pens will start the season without a true 3C. Either Cullen will come back and fill that role, or the pens will take a look at ZAR, maybe even Jake, with Rowney rounding out the bottom line. I think if the pens go that way, they won’t make a trade for a 3C until deeper into the season, Dec. or Jan., but before the trade deadline. That would all be ok. Pens won back to back cups, we have no right to demand a third, even if we are anyway.

        • PenguinPelts

          I also think the younger players are way more versatile than the older players, so someone who hasn’t really been a Center could easily come up from WB/S, given a tryout, and really take to it, not like the Crosby, Malkin, Kessel kind of players where they are set in their positions.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Like how Jake is a center, but he’s lighting the world on fire on Sid’s wing? I agree, but center does require taking FO’s. The pens have enough talent in their forward group to win games (hai Lee Stempniak), but the PK/Sullivan’s “balanced attack” is what they need for the playoffs.

          • PenguinPelts

            Hey, at least they didn’t add on a M-NTC to his $3 million a year deal. Silver lining.

          • Rad88

            Also don’t forget about Jean-Sebastian Dea. It’s rumored he had attitude problems and that has curbed his progress to the pro level, but he is also a natural center that Sullivan, Guerin and Recchi have spent time developing

          • PenguinPelts

            If he had so many attitude issues why didn’t they try trading him instead of Sundqvist?

          • Rad88

            My feelings on Sundqvist is if Sullivan thought he was any good/worth pursuing we wouldn’t have seen Carter Rowney. He may be a good player but I don’t thing Sullivan was on board

          • Ungaba

            Not ‘his guy’. And I’m fine with that. Sully has earned the right to make those kinds of calls, and Rowney was pretty good during the stretch run in the SCF.

          • PenguinPelts

            True. Rowney showed more in less time than Sundqvist had the last two or three seasons.

          • Penguin in Houston

            Rowney is capable of making the team. Same with Archie.

          • Andy PepPep

            I really hope we get to see plenty of these young guys in the fall.

          • Ungaba

            Sprong and Reece I would guess for sure. Archieballs too. Maybe Dea.

          • Rad88

            It wouldn’t surprise me to see both get extended looks in camp. The only thing with Sprong is since they already burned one year of his contract it wouldn’t be surprising if they play it cautious with him and start him in WBS

          • Rad88

            after rethiking this this statement makes no sense, please ignore

          • Ungaba

            When do you find out about the, you know, rest of your life? 🙂 Or at least residency.

          • Rad88

            different classmates have been getting their schedules since last Thursday, a few got theirs today so possibly today. Residency is 2 years away, based on my exam score I’m not sure what fields I’m competitive for yet, but Sports Medicine is still high on my list

          • Ungaba

            OK, so the next step is 2 years of… ? More learning?

          • Rad88

            yeah, the first 2 years are basic sciences, the next 2 years are clinical sciences where we actually learn in the hospital by doing 6-12 week rotations in different specialties (surgery, internal med, obgyn, etc). During the third year you decide what you want to be and send out applications for residency

          • Ungaba

            So then it sounds like you’re already learned enough to treat Mormont’s grey scale, but you still have to re-write all of the rotten scrolls because you’re still a scrub. Gotcha!

          • SouthSideGeno

            When does he get his Queenjob?

          • Ungaba

            Is that anything like a Rimjob?

          • SouthSideGeno

            You obvi didn’t see last night’s episode, dija?

          • Ungaba

            Ah, so a rimjob… but on the outtie part. Gotcha!

            Last night’s was maybe one of the bestest.

            Only 4 left… 🙁

          • SouthSideGeno

            That Cork Soaker Fredinand…killed S!

            Only 2 Orphan’s left…sniff…sad

          • Ungaba

            Ferdinand was a great character too. He played that role well.

            When she was gettin’ liquored up last episode I told my wife, “you’re not going to want to watch this” because you knew that eyeball camera was comin’ aht. That was some sick shit. Loved it!

            And were you as surprised as me that the actor who plays Felix isn’t actually English? He does such a great job on that accent.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Yes to all

          • PenguinPelts

            Sports Medicine huh? If you start learning about Bankarts and Hill-Sachs, come find me.

          • Rad88

            Baseball injury?

          • PenguinPelts

            More like fight/basketball/mosh pit/hockey injury.

        • Ungaba

          I tend to agree with this approach. Let the kids play, especially early in the year.

    • Andy PepPep

      I would advise you to look at comparable players around the leagues. Sheary lead the entire NHL in points/60 at 5v5. Yes, ALL-McDavid, Geno, Sid, etc. 3 million is a steal for a guy who has chemistry with 87 and is arguably a top-5 LW on his line. Also, don’t forget he has only played a little over 100 regular season games. There is plenty of room for improvement.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        …ahem, or room for regression.

        • Ungaba

          Ahem? Jeezus, man, you change avis and suddenly you’re all prim and proper? Take it back!

          • PensPointsYourMom

            nuh uh…

          • Penguin in Houston

            PPYM can never be prim or proper. Jus’ sayin’.

        • Andy PepPep

          Perhaps, but not many players perform better in their first 100 games than they do after them.

      • Penguin in Houston

        Plus, he is speedy. Remember folks, speed kills a la back-to-back.

  • Ungaba

    https://twitter.com/NHLhistorygirl/status/892045724313145351

    File this under ‘related but not related’.

  • Rad88

    So let’s say Sprongs stats weren’t just the common older kid in a younger league last season and he gets a look at the roster. Easiest way to transition him is do what has always happened under Sullivan, put him with Sid. SO then the opportunity to try Guentzel out at center presents itself for a few games. Would that really surprise anyone?
    Sheary-Sid-Sprong
    Rust-Geno-Hornqvist (rust would be on off wing)
    Hagelin-Geuntzel-Kessel (talk about speed)
    other-other-other

    • PenguinPelts

      Sprong has to play with the upper echelon of talent.

    • Ungaba

      Rust can play any wing effectively, I believe, so no worry there.

      100% agree on Sprong – he needs to play with someone who can get him the puck. Perhaps he could do it all by himself in the QMLGBTHL or whatever, but not up here.

      Also fun thought – it seems like all the new young wingers look good with Sid. Curious… 🙂 I just love when people say ‘we need a winger for Sid’ when the truth is just about any damn winger will do. At least of the younger variety.

      And since I’m typing a lot, I think there is a generational aspect at work here. The new kids are fast and smart and versatile. It’s not like they can be one-trick ponies anymore. Sprong may be an outlier, as he’s obviously got an other-worldly release, but I think most young’uns are ‘multi-tool’ players now.

      • Rad88

        It’s so true and also why it is such a good time to be a fan of the game (minus the league trying their best to ruin it). 4th liners are as skilled as 2nd liners from the 90s in some cases. It’s insane

        • Ungaba

          “We shall overcome”

          I think the Pens are going to turn Reaves into a skilled tank, just to show the NHL how it’s done. “Sure he’s a big gallumph, but if you put him on Sully’s team and tell him to go fast, look what happens. Eff you, Hairy Buttman!”

          12 goals for him this year, COUNT ON IT!!!

          • Rad88

            now you may be pushing it, but crazier things have happened.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Will he also fight every team we play, at least once?

          • Ungaba

            Nope. I say he fights 5 times, maybe. And I’m happy with that.

          • SouthSideGeno

            So, yer taking the under. I’m going at least 10 at least once for erey Metro team, 2-3 each for BJ’s and Philty, Boston, St. Louis, L.A. and I’ma throw in a Minnesota just for funzies.

    • Andy PepPep

      Snipers typically do quite well with Geno, too. I’d put him there and drop Phil to the third line with Hags and mystery center. There will be a potential top-6 guy relegated to the 4th (HQ, Rust)… But that’s a good problem to have, right?

  • Andy PepPep

    What new player are people most excited to see in October: ZAR, Sprong, Hunwick, Reaves, mystery center, Kris Letang v2.2, Niemi (lollll)??

    • PenguinPelts

      Definitely want to see the two kids and how Hunwick does. Let’s call that 1A-C. Then Reaves just to see how an actual good coaching staff handles him. And I have zero faith in Letang at this point.

      • Rad88

        I’m excited to see how good Sprong is at this point in time. Also if Maatta can maintain is playoff style of play. On top of that I am most interested to see if Sullivan goes back to his regular season lines or tries the combinations from the Ottawa and Nashville series with a grinder on each line

      • Andy PepPep

        Yeah, he’s had some pretty rough luck in his career. Most of the team has. I’m not sure there has ever been a team that has 2 cancer survivors, a stroke victim, and a guy who had to retire from blood clots.

        • Rad88

          technically 2, Vokoun didn’t play much after he was diagnosed with clots either. This is all the more reason they need to hire me as their team doctor. They obviously need more than one doctor

          • Andy PepPep

            Which reminds me, I got these lumps….

          • Penguin in Houston

            Mumps

          • SouthSideGeno

            Breasts?

          • Ungaba

            Moobs

          • PenguinPelts

            I have even less faith in that team doctor of theirs. Guy has mis-diagnosed so many things. Especially Crosby’s slipped disc.

          • Rad88

            Shortly after that they hired a “team Physician” that goes to the games with them and gives in game updates, but the entire UPMC medical staff is at their disposal now. So instead of one guy they get all of them.

        • Penguin in Houston

          Pretty f’in nuts!

      • SouthSideGeno

        : P
        He has very little faith in you as well

        • PenguinPelts

          That may be true, but I show up to work every day so I got that on him.

    • lauriruu

      #finrassis

      • Andy PepPep

        Shall I post his sv% from last season?

        • lauriruu

          Meh. Form is temprorary.

          • Andy PepPep

            Finn is eternal

    • Penguin in Houston

      Aston-Reese

    • SouthSideGeno

      LeBANG…he makes me moist

      • Ungaba

        Ew

        • SouthSideGeno

          Daon even try to tell me he doesn’t make yer lady/man juices flow

          • Ungaba

            It’s true. I mean, he’s good and I like when he plays. But I don’t get all tingly. ANYWHERE.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Well then you better plan to not sit next to me at our game in November…cause I’ma have my “LeBang…Leave Her and Marry Me” signs all ready to go …and stuff : O

          • Ungaba

            “…not that there’s anything WRONG with that!”

          • SouthSideGeno

            “Put it all…Inside the Quotes”

          • lauriruu

            Lewd.

    • SouthSideGeno

      UNG’s Mum?
      I hear she had some work done…brand new silicone linings and pads

  • Rad88

    Blue Jackets sign Torts to a one year extension… thats a great move by their management.

  • Rad88

    Thoughts on future gameday characters? So far we have the return of Sultry Bob, Jay, Fleury (bwhahaha) and maybe Susan Bairl.

    • Rad88

      and no, Ungs mom is not available

      • SouthSideGeno

        : D

      • lauriruu

        That’s not what I’ve heard!

        • Rad88

          well she would have to sit still long enough for Bren to pixel her

          • SouthSideGeno

            get the duct tape

    • lauriruu

      Phil’s missing nut. Or Paul.

      • Rad88

        Phil’s missing nut… damn that’s good. Brendan and J-bot, get on it

        • Ungaba

          It is good… but is it too much?

          • Rad88

            I like Plotnikov more

          • Ungaba

            You didn’t list Hockey Player Lee. Are we retiring him?

          • Rad88

            no! I forgot him, I think we may retire Susan. The team sucked with her haha

      • SouthSideGeno

        I’m thinking… “Hobo Nut hoping a freight train” or “homeless nut hitting the crack (pipe)”

        • Rad88

          hows that going to fit in that little image spot

          • SouthSideGeno

            shrinkage?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Shriveled Nut holding up sign saying… “I got the sac?”

    • lauriruu

      The ghost of Sergei Plotnikov.

    • lauriruu

      Former fireman Darren McCord.

    • Broken Coach Vlad

      Rico Fucking Fata… Sergi Morosov, Kjell Samuelson, Chris Beech

      • Ungaba

        I think it needs to be someone potentially recognizable though.

  • Ungaba

    How friggin’ cool is this chart:

    https://twitter.com/CudmoreColin/status/888000676151930881

    He’s done the Sens and the Blues. I look forward to the Pens…

    • PenguinPelts

      Does it say anywhere what the colors mean?

      • Ungaba

        Not that I’ve seen, but I think it’s team that they come from. Phaneuf is blue, for example, from the Leafs. But by the same token, WTF is purple for Elliott to Anderson?

        Yeah, I’m going with ‘fun to look at and kind of like mass transit’.

        • Door_Matt

          Purple is Colorado even though it should have been a reddish purple?

    • PensPointsYourMom

      pfft…I saw Matt Damon solving that in the hallway while he was pretending to mop.

    • Door_Matt

      From what I can tell the gray circle is their current roster and anything feeding into single points is how they acquired that player. All I have to say is the amount of lineage that went into getting Phaneuf is laughable for what he actually contributed.

      • Ungaba

        Agreed on the construct. The question is what do the colors signify, if anything? I’m guessing nothing.

        And yeah, lol on Phaneuf, but keep in mind that’s his chart back to his entry into the NHL. So it wasn’t all the Sens fault.

        • Door_Matt

          The colors are the teams.

          • Ungaba

            Burrows came from Vancouver, right? OOooooooo…. or was it Anaheim? And they do have that yellowy-orangish color going on. OK, we’ll go with it.

            But I need a legend, dammit.

          • SouthSideGeno

            I’ll be yer legend

          • Door_Matt

            Yeah, in this chart Vancouver is orange, Ducks are green, Coyotes are cyan, Rangers are Red, and Avalanche are purple.

          • Ungaba

            Now your theory is bupkiss, sorry.

            Rangers are Red? Is not allowed, this thing. Wrong, you are.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Rangers r red, BJ’s r blew,
            Philthy and Washington both suck dik too

          • Ungaba

            Perhaps your greatest poem ever.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Fank u

          • Penguin in Houston

            Classic!

    • SouthSideGeno

      Looks like a frken subway map…for a really small town.

      • Ungaba

        Maybe, but it’s neat-o!

        I’m in Philthy this week again. Well… Exton and KOP. It’s my new favorite place to never leave the hotel unless I’m forced to.

  • Door_Matt
    • Ungaba

      That may well be the perfect mullet. Stylish while still ridiculous. It’s the Mullet against which all other Mullets are measured.

      And all other Mullets have been left… wanting.

      • MoonStanley

        I’m debating not cutting my hair for my stint dahn in Tennuhsee. This makes the debate even hotter

        • lauriruu

          Erreybody will grow a mullet for Nov. 18th?

          • MoonStanley

            Lol or at least WIGS!

          • SouthSideGeno

            That is doable…I can get us all a great deal on some Genuine Amish Horsehair wigs up in State College

          • SouthSideGeno

            10 years too late for me bub. I can grow a ‘reverse’ Mowhawk if you like?

  • j-b0t

    Totally off topic, but i need to get it off my chest…

    I just had a debate with someone essentially having to convince them that when a person creates something, they have an inextricable role in that thing existing.

    I’m not fucking kidding.

    Socratic method owned (as it always does) but Murray Christ, what an exhausting ordeal. By the end of it, dude had no recourse but to engage in mental gymnastics trying to diminish the importance of the creator so that their preciuos predetermined worldview wasn’t threatened.

    Stupid is out there; everyone be careful.

  • lauriruu
    • SouthSideGeno

      FRKEN 1ST ROUND SWEPT LOSER ASSMUNCHERS…Both NBCSN and the Blackcocks

      • Ungaba

        The Pens did ask for more weekend games, so maybe that means less national? I dunno…

        • Penguin in Houston

          We have 16 nationally televised games.

    • Ungaba

      I’m confused – saw another tweet from NBCSN that said that ‘Wednesday Night Rivalries would have Chicago v. Pittsburgh…’ among others. I don’t see the Pens listed in that there tweet…

  • MoonStanley

    Henreek got some flashy new pads for next season. Here’s an artist’s rendition of what they will look like in action:

    https://i.imgur.com/Ld55FYc_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=high

    • SouthSideGeno

      hahaha nice!

      • MoonStanley

        Lol both legs have half of Lady Liberty’s face. She’s gonna be swallowing a lot of pucks this year

        • SouthSideGeno

          …himpaste is not spelled ‘p-u-c-k-s’

          • lauriruu

            M-O-O-N, that spells HIMPASTE. Laws yes!

          • SouthSideGeno

            “May we have happy days, satisfied minds, and little or no low back pain.”

    • Penguin in Houston

      #babystuff

  • lauriruu
    • Ungaba

      Love the Swedish honeys!!!

      • HawtDoge

        Those are all young boys… jus kidding… or am i? 😀

    • lauriruu
      • Ungaba

        More Swedish honeys!!! 🙂

    • UlfSammySon

      Sorry Finn

      Sweden > Suomi

      • lauriruu

        #babestuff

    • SouthSideGeno

      THAT is a fuk ton of horny

  • Ungaba

    https://twitter.com/CudmoreColin/status/892152039115022340

    Very cool. Now I’m 100% convinced the colors are meaningless.

    • Door_Matt

      I like how Horny and Kessel are forever linked by the GoLOLgoski trade.

      Will also be interesting to see how Kapanen develops now that the Leafs aren’t a trash heap.

      • Ungaba

        I guess I don’t understand that part. Wasn’t it Neal for Horny straight up? Is Gogo involved for the other side? I’m confused.

        • Door_Matt

          Nope, Spaling was part of the Preds offer and went into the Kessel trade.

          EDIT: However it was Neal and Niskanen for GoLOLgoski.

          • Ungaba

            Ah yes! Thanks!

          • Door_Matt

            Niskanen doesn’t appear because he doesn’t factor into acquisition of anyone on the current roster.

          • Ungaba

            Push up your glasses a little higher, nerd. I get the point.

            😉

  • UlfSammySon
    • lauriruu

      They should’ve taped him harder to the goal.

      • UlfSammySon

        They need to make a Mighty Ducks: Beer League movie with all the original actors. Like, they’re all washed up and have shitty lives BUT have a chance to return to their former glory by entering their local beer league. Make it rated R and really raunchy. I’d watch that.

        • Ungaba

          WATCH that? It sounds like you already started writing it.

          Also, I’m in. Adam Sandler would eat that shit up.

          • UlfSammySon

            Hell yeah, I have always wanted to write a movie.

            Has your mom acted in anything other than porn…?

          • Ungaba

            Nicely done.

            And no, but I’m sure she’s willing to try. I’d ask her but she’s a little busy and there’s a line out the damn door.

          • Randy

            My mom is one of the best porn actors. When the pizza guy shows up and says “did someone order a pizza with extra sausage?” she takes it to the next level.

          • UlfSammySon

            “Hey, where are my breadsticks?”

          • Randy

            Haha. On a side note, does pizza not contain enough bread to necessitate an additional order of bread?

          • Ungaba

            NO NO NO NO NO!!!!

            Breadsticks (or better yet, CHEESEsticks, are ‘must adds’ for ANY pizza order. It’s bread, which is yummy. Or it’s pizza without the sauce and, hello, PIZZA, so yeah – MUST HAVE.

          • Randy

            I’m getting constipated just thinking about it. Now.. where’s that Little Caesars at?

          • RadioBirdman79
          • Randy

            What the hell? He said extra cheese and added sausage, but then said it has only extra cheese and no sausage.

          • UlfSammySon

            No cutsies!

    • Door_Matt

      Typical Philthy fan…

    • SouthSideGeno

      hahaha…idiot

  • Randy

    I was just thinking about game seven against the Craps. They were the league’s best regular season team and cup favourite with home ice advantage and one of the best winning records on home ice, with a line matching advantage and the full support of their fans; in a do or die scenario considering their team could very well implode in the offseason and after going all in with the Shattenkirk trade; with a very lethal offence featuring a natural goal scoring “superstar,” a clutch performer and guaranteed two point night from Williams, not to mention a solid defence and the “greatest playoff hockey goalie of all time [???];” carried a lot of momentum into game 7 after scoring 5 in a row in game six, against a team with a lot less to prove, playing their backup goalie, a beaten up offence and missing a $7M defenceman who is unquestionably one of the team’s most valuable players. The Craps should have won, the odds were stacked in their favour, but they couldn’t score a goal.

    In the most important game of the year, MAF, the D corps, and team depth was fucking clutch.

    • Ungaba

      #unexpectedpensboner

      Thanks for the reminder. That truly is a great way to look at it, too.

      • Randy

        Sproooooong! (the sound of a pensioner suddenly reaching full mast)

    • Ungaba

      Also, they were on a 2 game winning streak!

      I had to look hard for something to add. But dammit, you are so right about this. Prez Cup (2 years running!) winning team, built to WIN NOW OR NEVER, a ‘hungry’ Russian ‘legend’. But holy fucking shit, the Penguins figured out a way. With Sid only having 1 A and Geno/Phil not showing up on the scoresheet.

      Thanks again for this. We should do this every day so that we remember what we are here for.

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Im just here for the tiddays

      • Penguin in Houston

        They suck dirty bawls.

      • Randy

        Not to mention Carter fuckin’ Rowney was a force! For yinz, not many days were better than that one. Lemieux lifting the cup for the first time. Lemieux scoring a final breakaway goal on his last game before first retirement. MAF’s “The Save.” Bones’ OT goal against the Craps in ’16. And finally, MAF saving an OV goal with the shaft of his stick, and then subsequently stroking his shaft for good luck. Defining moments if I ever saw them.

    • lauriruu

      What a sexy thing to read first thing in the morning! BOING!

      • Randy

        SPROOONG! Don’t you normally wake up with a pens boner anyway?

        • lauriruu

          True. I laid on my stomach when I read your post–> I was flipped off the bed.

    • MoonStanley

      MAF MAF MAF MAF MAF

      • Randy

        ha ha ha ha ha

        • MoonStanley

          Ha. Ha. Haaaaa…. 🙁

          • Randy

            sad sad sad… guilt guilt

  • SouthSideGeno

    Any of yinz watch Dirk Gently?

    Purdy freaky good.

    • Door_Matt

      The holistic assassin was pretty scary… Also beware of tiny fuzzy kittens.

      • SouthSideGeno

        Rowdy 3

        • Door_Matt

          But there’s 4 of them.

          • SouthSideGeno

            One for each of our 4 peat cups?

    • Randy

      Wut is dis? Boogie Nights starring Frodo Baggens? My gf does background extra work on those kind of shows.

    • lauriruu

      I tried reading the first of the books but I just couldn’t get into it. I’ll probably try again sometime.

    • MoonStanley

      Not yet. Douglas Adams was an awesome writer and dude, but his TV/movie adaptions seem to fall short

      • Ungaba

        Amen to this. I feel like I’d need to re-read the Dirk Gently books first.

        But you’re right about HHGTTG for sure – that book was one of my favorite ever but that movie blew chunks. I mean, it had some good parts, but there were so many bad ones to more than offset it.

        • MoonStanley

          HH blew my 20-year old mind and I loved it! I saw the movie in theaters with rose colored glasses, but yeah… it blew chunks of babystuff and himpaste overall haha

        • SouthSideGeno

          I agree with you. That movie was UNWATCHABLE.

          BUTT, you would LOVE this tv show. It’s BBC and they do NOT FORNICATE AROUND…great writers and cast..

          • Ungaba

            Done and done. I will give it a shot. Many thanks!

          • MoonStanley

            Ditto!

          • SouthSideGeno

            Stream Season 1 on Hulu, new season airs on BBC Murica in early September…(I think)

          • lauriruu

            Big Black C…?

          • Door_Matt

            I agree with SSG. I was very wary of this show being awful, but after the first episode I was all-in.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      thought that said “…Dick Girthy”

      • Ungaba

        Because of course you did.

  • lauriruu

    We mustn’t forget
    https://youtu.be/ADCstIejQZ4

    • Andy PepPep

      Do goals against Arizona count as half?

      • lauriruu

        I think you are missing the Coyotes’ goal there.

  • MoonStanley

    I feel like I’m in jail down here anymore. Even if there was hockey, my internet is a joke and I couldn’t watch… Still haven’t seen GOT yet. Blah.

    • Ungaba

      Nature that boring already??? 😉

      • MoonStanley

        I can’t even get myself out there, Ung. Wtf is wrong with me haha

        • Ungaba

          This is withdrawal you’re experiencing. Totally expected. Push through the other side and be one with nature. You’ll be fine.

          • MoonStanley

            I get inspired for a moment and then it goes away. I’m trying to just do it… like Nike

        • SouthSideGeno

          hahaha…wait, you’re an apprentice (in training) Jellystone Park Park Ranger and you won’t go out in the nature?

    • Andy PepPep

      I can send my porn collection.

      Wait- it’s 2017 and I have the internet.

      Sorry. Nevermind.

      • MoonStanley

        Lol thank you for the thought, I have a friend sending a thumbdrive soon

        • Ungaba

          *buffering*

        • Andy PepPep

          It’s easier to skip to the good parts with those.

    • lauriruu

      Luckily when all that is over you’ll get to see a game LIVE!

    • SouthSideGeno

      Those wombats aren’t gonna duct tape themselves.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      you’re there to upgrade their computers yes? So its kinda your fault the internet sucks.

      • MoonStanley

        Mr. Fantastic strikes again!

  • Ungaba
    • MoonStanley

      So much blonde haha

      • SouthSideGeno

        I’m surprised he doan have a blonde horse

    • PensPointsYourMom

      fucking Swedes

      • Ungaba

        In this case, at least once.

      • SouthSideGeno

        …as often as possible.

    • HawtDoge

      Is The Cup full of salmon?

      • lauriruu

        Is carrot a salmon?

        • Randy

          woah look at you being all European and fancy talking about a carrot. Here in North America, we only eat meat, potatoes, and chicken, which I’ve been told is also a meat.

  • lauriruu
    • Randy

      Here’s how yinz winz in a fight (NSFW)
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpLvrxTa6aQ

      PS: watch the end it’s nutz.

      • SouthSideGeno

        When I get home maybe

      • Ungaba

        That is just so incredibly stupid it’s hard to fathom.

  • SouthSideGeno

    Well…it took 60+ years butt while standing a the urinal wall at work yesterday I was finally able to confirm that Asian men fart in English. Sum Yung Guy squeaked one out while peeing and I had no trouble whatsoever recognizing wut his ass was saying.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6e5e61fdcd429f9588ed8b6cbdbd2577505e301cced32393fa3a6aecbc96df23.gif

    • lauriruu

      Did he ass a question?

      • SouthSideGeno

        Yasssss…the question was…”How fast can you zip and run?”

        • PensPointsYourMom

          mmm…fishy

    • Randy

      The flow would be far more diffused by the fabric of the pantalones.

      • lauriruu

        I haven’t heard of this melon fruit.

        • Randy

          it’s German. A close relative of wassermelones.

      • SouthSideGeno

        Wrooooong…cause, science

        • Randy

          the only way I support your hypothesis is if it was pizza-and-a-fuckload-of-breadsticks night at Casa Geno. Then yes, farts that resemble being blown from a smoke machine are possible.

          • SouthSideGeno

            NO. You must be using faulty Kunadiun science.
            This is 100% confirmed Murican stink signature footage.

          • Randy

            Muricans and Kunadiuns need to work together on sciency things. Have you even seen what the Chainees are up to?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Yes, I have this sekret CIA footage of their most current testing on their new ‘Bio Weapon’ …

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/72fac0ee7b9921a426a5c8c4fb9b5832ea694e06f1edc714539d5dbd76967f37.gif

          • Andy PepPep

            That’s quite the realistic ass. Thought it was 2 girls one cup for a split second as it loaded.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Chinese Duck Sauce Balm?

  • The66thDopefish

    Here’s my current status: https://youtu.be/Y6ljFaKRTrI

    By the end of the summer I should have enough content written to make one post full of incomplete thoughts and arguments. Yay fatherhood!

    • Ungaba

      I’d tell you it gets easier but in truth it only gets harder so enjoy these moments now while you can.

  • Ungaba
    • Randy

      Ok, I’m gonna be honest. I have no idea what that’s from or how that can increase the girth of my pens boner and accompanying testicular mass.

      edit: lemme guess tho. GoT?

      • Ungaba

        Do NOT apply the above to your #pensboner – it will yield unexpected results.

        • Randy

          Ok, but I’m still very confused.

          • Ungaba

            Game of Thrones, brosephus.

        • HawtDoge

          Rock Hard? 😀

  • PensPointsYourMom
    • Ungaba

      Who is that?

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Klinkhammer

        • lauriruu

          Who?

          • PensPointsYourMom

            he played for the pens a couple years ago, he was traded in the package for perron.

          • Ungaba

            Recognizably unrecognizable. Perfect!

    • Randy

      Stempniak or GTFO

      • PensPointsYourMom

        Lee can’t work 82 games. gotta have some depth players.

        • Randy

          He could. He’s got “heart.”

          • Ungaba

            Hard no. We’d use up all his mojo.

            – Sultry Bob
            – Jay
            – Lee MFin Stempniak
            – Captain Klinkhammer
            – ??? (not Baierl lady, please)

          • Rad88

            We have Fleury.

          • PensPointsYourMom

            like already have the digital version?

          • Rad88

            Yes sir. We wanted to break him out last season but then he started starting more and the joke was on us

          • SouthSideGeno

            You CAN NOT use MAF.
            He’s is now the ENEMY

          • Rad88

            Which is why we can use him. With an alternate narrative, originally he was going to become more and more racist/resentful towards Pittsburgh has the season wore on… I’m still liking that

          • SouthSideGeno

            I clearly doan unnerstan the methodology involved in these considerations

          • Randy

            If Jagr doesn’t sign with ‘us’, we need his beautiful hair on our side.

          • MoonStanley

            You have been added to the list.

          • Ungaba

            Agreed… and since we will keep using Lee, we can keep MAF too.

            Mike Johnston would be a fun one!

          • PensPointsYourMom
          • Rad88

            YESSSS

          • Ungaba

            We should use him for the worstest games. Arizona, Vancouver, Carolina – crap teams like that.

          • The66thDopefish

            Or for trap games.

          • Rad88

            This actually looks really similar to the NHL 95 graphics too and really fits nice with ours I feel: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dab20e5692648e55528fe5a80a3fe1959e30daa91c949f4bac5324317458173c.png

          • RadioBirdman79

            NHL 94 or GTFO

          • Penguin in Houston

            It could jinx us though.

          • Rad88

            Just google Mike Johnston Penguins… he never looks like he knows where he is https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/52f3493f9801029f9f6cac4307c131a521683349722c96314dc9b7b69e0bcfe1.png

          • PensPointsYourMom

            Luckily for him (and us), management made that state of being permanent

          • Penguin in Houston

            Frkn clueless

          • PensPointsYourMom

            MAF? TK? J Staal? Cooke? Mike Johnston?

    • PensPointsYourMom
      • Rad88

        HAHAHA yes

  • Randy

    Name a modern day coach that won the Jack Adams trophy with a team only to sign a one year contract extension the following year.

    • PensPointsYourMom

      Torts?

      • PensPointsYourMom

        …wait…did I ruin it?

        • Randy

          You ruin things worse that GGB’s ex wife.

      • SouthSideGeno

        Tell him wut he’s won Randidio!

        • Randy

          He’s won… An all expenses paid trip to Columbus, an Ohian hanny, and a chance to push the button that releases the streamers!

          • Ungaba

            Um, is there an alternate prize?

          • Penguin in Houston

            That isn’t a win. Going to Ohio is similar to making sure you don’t drop the soap.

  • Rad88

    Since everyone liked the Twitter embed during the draft that Brendan did we were thinking about doing one in gamedays. Which beat reporter should we include? Keep in mind that they all say the same thing on Twitter so having one along with the Penguins feed should be sufficient. Who gets the honor?

    • lauriruu

      All of the egos, plz.

    • MoonStanley

      Rossi or GTFO

      • PensPointsYourMom

        craig lobster? also Rossi, or Rossi cone.

  • RadioBirdman79

    You guys are looking for random gameday character?

    Like recent guys who were irrelevant?

  • Broken Coach Vlad

    Pompeani’s daughter.. kinda hot though…

    • RadioBirdman79

      Cute. But a bible banger though

      • Broken Coach Vlad

        oh? she isn’t into the slam one home saturday, go pray about it sunday?

      • Andy PepPep

        I had no idea. Must not be banging very loudly.

  • PensPointsYourMom
    • lauriruu

      I was literally just trying to do one. High Fin. Also blasphemy.

      • SouthSideGeno

        YO FIN…Check yer email please

    • SouthSideGeno

      I just threw up a lil bit

  • SouthSideGeno
    • MoonStanley
    • Ungaba

      You don’t like Savran? I love the guy.

      • SouthSideGeno

        Stanislaw is ok I guess, but that 80’s hair easily qualifies him for the Olympic Douchecannon final round.

  • The66thDopefish

    I had a few thoughts today:

    1.) For the games against Columbus, I think the Gameday character should be American Olympian and World Cup (snub) Phil Kessel.
    2.) It would not surprise me to learn that the real reason the NHL doesn’t want to allow its players to be eligible for the Olympics is because of the United States’ recent lack of success in international competitions.
    3.) That most recent lack of success is largely John Tortorella’s fault.

    • HawtDoge

      USA hockey (the organization) is a boy’s club that’s been thrown into a dumpster fire. If it was run half as well as is possible, it would be twice as good as it is now. THINK ABOUT IT.

      (Editor’s Note: This is based purely on my personal emotional feelings)

      • Rad88

        USA hockey has a great foundation for kids to get involved, and they do a great job grooming their players through many different opportunities. Then when it comes time to paying players (women’s national team) or selecting players to compete they completely fail. Most likely this is two different committees (player/youth development and selections) but something needs to change.

      • Penguin in Houston

        Herb got it done!

        • SouthSideGeno

          HerbTarlick?

  • Broken Coach Vlad

    morning pheasants!

    • Broken Coach Vlad

      morning Fin

      • lauriruu

        There we go. Morning Coach V!

      • Andy PepPep

        Afternoon, everybody.

        • Broken Coach Vlad

          heh, I am on west coast time still… argh…

          • Andy PepPep

            Well, I’m sorry…. And good morning.

          • Broken Coach Vlad

            oh, its afternoon, but my body thinks its morning, lol

  • happyrobot
  • Penguin in Houston

    Noooooooo

  • I’m late to the gameday talk but we agreed on retiring all old characters, right?

    • Rad88

      not yet. I asked for suggestions for new ones only

      • SouthSideGeno

        YO RAD…check yer email please

        • Rad88

          THe one between you and Ung?

          • SouthSideGeno

            Now, you and Bren and UNG and FIN and meeee

            You have been summoned!

          • Rad88

            I hit ya back

    • SouthSideGeno

      YO Bren…check yer email please

      • Penguin in Houston

        Why don’t we do a poll dance and do it diplomatically?

        • Broken Coach Vlad

          there is this girl at blush that can climb the 2 story pole their…

          • SouthSideGeno

            Gonna need pix

          • Penguin in Houston

            No imagination

          • SouthSideGeno

            Still waiting for your pic update….?!?!?!?

            Doan you wanna be made infamous on here?

    • The66thDopefish

      And here I was thinking we should bring Hacksaw Jim Duggan out of retirement

    • Ungaba

      LEE STAYS DAMMIT

    • Andy PepPep

      Pekka Rinne?

      • SouthSideGeno

        Too soon?

        • Andy PepPep

          He’s a Burgh legend

      • Door_Matt

        Pecorino. A block of cheese with a goalie mask on?

    • Door_Matt

      Except Ron Barr. I think he needs to stay as a salty veteran sportscaster.

      • maybe he can start slowly aging until a few seasons from now when he’s a skeleton

    • Door_Matt

      How about bringing on the ol 29er and making him talk about Geno taking too many dumb penalties.

      We can replace Caulfield with him.

      • i love love love this idea

  • Door_Matt

    Can we make Jagr a gameday character desperate to get signed by any team?

    • Penguin in Houston

      Best idea yet!

    • Andy PepPep

      ….for $4 million

  • Broken Coach Vlad

    Budd Dwyer as a new game day face with or without gun in mouth..

    • Door_Matt

      Then the league would know for sure we’re bribing the refs.

    • Ungaba

      Holy throwback! My buddy happened to be home from school sick that day and caught it live. He recorded it when he Bud started talking crazy. It’s… not pretty.

    • The66thDopefish

      No thanks

    • twin towers falling as a gameday character

      • Ungaba

        That escalated quickly…

        • Rad88

          au contraire

      • SouthSideGeno

        Only if you want to have yer anal cavity searched by Homoland Security

    • SouthSideGeno
      • Andy PepPep

        Think it killed him?

        • SouthSideGeno

          UNFREKEN BELIEVEABLE…I would never have seen this if it weren’t for Coach’s suggestion.

          *singing…That’s en-ter-tain-ment!

          • Ungaba

            This needs to go. Please.

      • man this is pretty over the line for posting here, im gunna be honest lol

        • SouthSideGeno

          It’s true history…it aired live on tv…how is it OTL for on here exactly?

          #yousupressedmyblawg

          • Ungaba

            I agree with Bren

          • I could start sharing beheading videos from ISIS, but I dont think anyone wants to see them haha

          • SouthSideGeno

            I’ve never actually seen those…

          • Andy PepPep

            Give me a second..

            Jk

    • SouthSideGeno

      BANG goes the REP

      *video deleted at oppressive regime Leaders command

  • SouthSideGeno
  • RadioBirdman79

    If you want local business douchbags, try the NSS Life woman. Does anyone else think that’s some fucked up shit.

    Woman is married. Husband dies. Woman collects dead husbands NSS Life policy. Woman then marries NSS Life owner.

    • Ungaba

      …and right around the corner from my house.

      Also, the NSS owner looks like a total pedo.

      • RadioBirdman79

        My aunt lives off Valleybrook, I’ve driven by there alot

  • Ungaba
    • Andy PepPep

      I read it was 16 yesterday.

    • Rad88

      October 25th. Wednesday Night Rivalry. Columbus vs Buffalo…

      • Andy PepPep

        I think Pens/Blues is a wnr game, too. Wut?

        • Rad88

          The Reaves vs Sundqvist angle is can’t miss TV

          • Andy PepPep

            Is it bad I hope Reaves destroys him?

            “That’s for not panning out!”

    • I’d prefer less, and I’m not trying to be a hipster.

      I don’t want fucking goofy ass goddamn cable-cams during Penguins games.

      • HawtDoge

        MOAR REF CAMZ!

      • Andy PepPep

        MOAR MEARSIE!

  • i’m marking “pixelate edgar snyder” as my to-do

  • SSG posting faces of death shit down there

    • Rad88

      I’m about to publish a new post so we can all move away from that

      • I’m going to delete it (sorry bud), I wasn’t in the mood to see someone commit suicide today

        • HawtDoge
          • great now I’m picturing Bud Dwyer while this plays

          • HawtDoge

            My intention? not EXACTLY… shit shook me up for real

          • Andy PepPep

            Snowflakes. Jk. That was pretty horrific. I just read the Wikipedia page about it. Jeepers.

          • HawtDoge

            I’ve seen it before, but when you see something like that and it’s unexpected it’s pretty friggin jarring right? The whole story of the people lying under oath and everything makes it even crazier. Dude had to be a little off to begin with, but man… fugged UP situation

          • One minute I’m looking at the General and then blood pooling out of a mans head

          • Andy PepPep

            Its like Saving Private Ryan, kinda.

          • Could be a gameday character. The General with PTSD

          • HawtDoge

            Bonus points if anyone noticed that’s Jimmy Stuart in that photo on that Glenn Miller youtube video, not actually Glen Miller 😀

          • Andy PepPep

            The comment section with PTSD.

          • HawtDoge

            THIS IS US NOW WE HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS YOU CANT UNSEE WHAT YOUVE SEEN THIS IS REAL LIFE THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES

          • HawtDoge

            Lets talk more about the delightful interplay of shaq and the general…

      • The66thDopefish

        Or you could downvote it

        • SouthSideGeno

          Like that? hahaha

        • That doesnt do anything unless you have like 20

          • SouthSideGeno

            Then wut happens?

          • Then I think it’s hidden

          • SouthSideGeno

            So it turns into UNG’s penis?

          • HawtDoge

            UNG’s mom’s* penis

        • Just because “it happened” doesn’t mean it should be posted here.

          Those two russian kids bashed a guys head in and filmed it. It happened, it’s “history”, but that’s not appropriate to post on a hockey blog – it’s borderline NSFL, even if it’s something we’ve all seen before.

          • Andy PepPep

            I have not seen it. But I will look for it now because I have no self control.

          • That one I’d lay off. Same with the FPS of the cameraman killing that anchor woman.

          • I’ll let you know of more ones to avoid if you want

          • Andy PepPep

            I read that was a hoax. We had to watch all sorts of horrible classified videos in the Air Force. The Jordanian pilot still gives me nightmares.

          • that’s absolutely not a hoax, that chick died

          • SouthSideGeno

            Oooooo, what’s that one?

          • Andy PepPep

            Burned alive in a cage by ISIS. Lovely chaps, that ISIS.

          • SouthSideGeno

            Oh yeah…forgot bout that. Chryst this is a frked-up rock

          • SouthSideGeno

            So, can I be punished?

            Want me to suggest something?

    • SouthSideGeno

      I’ll put my post in just about anything

  • SouthSideGeno

    Nope, actual televised suicide …right here in Murica

    • HawtDoge

      TWICE here in Harrisburg because… journalism?

    • lauriruu

      EWWWWW

    • RadioBirdman79

      I don’t think it was actually aired live though. Lots of people SAW it live, but it was on tape…. I think.

      I could be wrong

      • HawtDoge

        Yeah, it was taped and aired later, in many places without warning about the graphic nature of the footage. USA!

      • Broken Coach Vlad

        WPXI in PGH showed it live.. the others saw him pull the gun up and cut the feed. I think the GIF is a bit over the top here.

  • PenguinPelts

    I posted a comment that is awaiting approval. Weird.

    • blame SSG

      • SouthSideGeno

        OH FOR FRK’S SAKE…Take that back Joe McCarthyBlawgczar

  • Rad88

    New Post Up. Thanks Obama. http://pens.hockey/metro-division-preview/

    • SouthSideGeno

      I BLEW UP THE BLAWG

  • Jovi

    Did you guys properly celebrate Evgeni’s B day yesterday?

  • Jovi
    • Penguin in Houston

      Married Hawt Carl! Meh